Phoenix Song
by WeasleyWife
Summary: JamesLily fic starting during their 6th year and going up to their deaths. LoveHate galore! SiriusOC as well and some pretty fabulous subplots I'd say. Excitement for Remus and a bit of a delve into Peter. Rated R for language and sexual situations.
1. Chapter 1

James Potter rubbed a hand vigorously over his messy black hair. Usually this would have been an attempt to achieve that bed-head look he was known for, but today it was simply to dry off his head. That September first was a rainy one, and looking around the platform, one could see that James was not the only person who had gotten caught on his way to King's Cross Station and, ultimately, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The smart students had haphazardly thrown raincoats, umbrellas, and galoshes of various colors among black and brown trunks – peppering the gray gloom of the day with bright splashes. The lanky boy sat on his trunk mindlessly twirling a golden snitch which occasionally caught the precious light. Sighing loudly, he checked his watch.

"Don't look now," a low voice next to James chuckled.

James turned his head to look at his best friend and, since he had run away from home in April, his surrogate brother. Droplets of rain flew from Sirius' wet dark hair as he shook his head like a wet dog from his seat on the concrete floor. James leaned out of the way to avoid the water and Sirius laughed loudly. When he stopped shaking, an arrogant smirk appeared on his face and he stretched his long legs out in front of him as he leaned against the brick wall of the platform, his hands behind his head. Sirius raised his eyebrows and cocked his head to the right, as if to gesture for James to look at something.

James looked in the direction of Sirius' head. He swallowed hard and sat up a little straighter at the familiar sight, shoving the snitch into his pocket and adjusting his glasses. He followed the bright blue figure closely with his eyes as she met and embraced a pink-clad Gwendolyn Abercrombie and Annabelle Idle in a yellow plaid rain hat. Her back was to him as she wrung the water out of her thick red hair. James could tell she was laughing by the way she brought her thin shoulders forward. She took the green ribbon that Gwendolyn found in her pocket and tied the wet locks out of her face. James stared at the back of her exposed white neck, his throat feeling rather dry.

"So Prongs, are you going to shag her somewhere besides in your dreams this year?"

Sirius' blasé drawl brought James out of his dream world. "Shut up Sirius."Sirius shrugged as he smiled back at Moira O'Neill, a voluptuous 6th year Irish Hufflepuff who had amused Sirius for a few weeks at the end of last term.

"If I wanted, I could have as many birds as you, Padfoot," James went on, his eyes still glued to that green ribbon. "I am Quidditch Captain after all. I just choose quality rather than quantity."

"Evans doesn't seem very impressed," Sirius' smirk turned into a grin. "Being a one-woman man doesn't seem to be doing you much good."

James shook his head as he looked back at Lily. She was now talking to Cade Bradley – the very tall, very fit, and very handsome Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain. Cade's sandy blonde hair, blue eyes, and muscular physique had tempted the vast majority of girls at Hogwarts. Lily laughed, her shoulders shaking, and James' entire body filled with jealousy. He'd kill Bradley on the pitch. His rage lessened as he saw the tall, purple-clad figure of Dorcas Meadowes wrap her arms around Cade. The blonde boy turned and kissed her hard on the lips.

"Hey, Meadowes is dating Bradley." James nudged Sirius.

Sirius shrugged. "She's a tasty little treat, isn't she?"

"You are the kind of bloke that women are warned about," a voice said flatly.

Two black haired heads turned to face a skinny, pale boy of average height with thin light brown hair and big golden eyes. He was wearing a tattered brown overcoat that was covered in rain spots. The boy smirked.

"Moony!" They both cried, jumping to their feet.

James patted Remus Lupin hard on the back and Sirius shook his hand furiously.

"Did you miss us?" James smiled. "How's the furry little problem?"

"Rather the same," Remus smiled slightly, rolling his eyes. "And actually, I quite enjoyed not having to explain to Dumbledore why you two were indiscriminately hexing the Slytherins for three months."

"Come on, Moony," Sirius forcefully wrapped an arm around the noticeably shorter boy.

Remus ducked out of Sirius' grasp, and a serious look crossed his face. "Have you two heard about Owen?" he asked.

"Nice subject," Sirius sighed and slid back onto the ground, a concerned look furrowing the dark brow and narrowing the deep gray eyes as he crossed his arms over his bent knees.

James nodded. "My father told us about it. He and Owen's grandfather were good friends."

"I saw his editorial in the Daily Prophet," Remus said, referring to the letter Douglas Potter had had published in July after an attack on a well-known muggle born wizard.

"He told us all about the attacks," Sirius said. "How they did them and everything. It's just getting worse."

The attacks had been happening for as long as they could remember. At first it was just muggles and then, the occasional muggle-born. By the time James was nine, ten members of the Association for the Advancement of Muggle-Born Magicians' fifteen person executive board had been murdered mysteriously. It had disbanded soon after that. The month before the friends came to Hogwarts, the culprits had taken responsibility for their crimes, leaving a 14-year-old girl alive after she watched her muggle-born parents, her older sister, her brother-in-law, and her brother tortured and killed. She told the Aurors who arrived on the scene two hours later that it was the work of Lord Voldemort. She immediately collapsed and died at St. Mungo's two days later. After that, the attacks had gotten worse. Since the announcement of the murderer's name, the attacks had increased exponentially. The latest had hit hard for the 6th year Gryffindors. Owen Towler was one of five boys in their house and year. His grandparents, aunt and uncle, and three young cousins had been murdered two weeks ago.

"Do you reckon he'll come on the train?" Remus asked. James and Sirius both shrugged.

"Mind if we change the subject?" Sirius asked. "I'm sure we'll have plenty of opportunity to discuss You-Know-Who this year. Probably more than we would like."

"Good point," James said, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms. "So, how am I going to finally snag Evans this year?" His hazel eyes moved to the spot where Lily was standing, now chatting with Julia Connors and Muriel McKinnon – two rather pretty Ravenclaw girls.

"Uhh," Remus shrugged. "Use Polyjuice Potion and become a different person."

"You don't have a chance," Sirius laughed. "A better question would be who will be the first lucky lady to be picked by one Sirius Black this year." Sirius began to scan the platform, occasionally smirking in appreciation.

This appraisal of the female population of Hogwarts came to a halt as a short, plump boy came bounding up to the three friends.

"Hi guys," he said, his watery blue eyes gleaming. He was staring at James and Sirius and beaming. "How was your summer, James?"

"Sirius and I watched muggle girls go skinny dipping," he said, rather bored.

"One of them did have red hair, Prongs," Sirius elbowed James.

"Really?" Peter smiled broadly, sitting on the ground in front of James.

Remus remained standing off of Sirius' right shoulder.

Suddenly, a flash of dark red caught the corner of James' eye. He turned in its direction and saw Lily Evans walking towards him. His breathing stopped, he was going to faint, he knew it. The wet ponytail bounced as she walked, her wet clothing clung to her body, and James suddenly wanted to issue a note of thanks to the rain. She grew closer, James stood up straight, and before he knew it she was there.

"Evans," he nodded, his voice sounding strange to him. "How was your summer?"

She glared at him with those glorious green eyes narrowed. "If you think I came over here to talk to you, Potter, you are seriously delusional."

Sirius stuck a fist in his mouth to keep from laughing and sat up a little straighter.

James shrunk a little, but bolstered himself up with an easy comeback. "If you've convinced yourself that you aren't attracted to me, than you're the one having the delusions, Evans."

"What girl in her right mind would be attracted to a cocky, lazy, rude, idiotic bully?"

"Little harsh, Evans," Sirius winked at her. "Don't you think?"

She scowled. "Any girl attracted to you has her fair share of delusions as well."

"Well then, I guess that all females are a bit mental," he flashed her a smirk and turned back to scope out the possibilities.

"I would never walk all the way over here to talk to you, Potter." Lily stared in to James' hazel eyes angrily. "In fact, I would walk a distance 50 times longer to avoid talking to you."

"You seem rather eager for a chat, Evans," he smirked at her.

"For your information, Potter," she spit the last word. "I came over here to talk to Remus, my fellow prefect and the only person over here whose summer I care a tick about."

"Are you sure you weren't just going to stand there until I asked you out again?"

"How many times do I have to tell you," she fumed, clenching her teeth. "I will never go out with you, Potter."

"Oh that's right," he mused sarcastically. "What did you tell me in June after I hexed Snivellus? That you'd rather date the giant squid. That seems a bit extreme, Evans."

"It's true," she sniffed, sticking up her chin. "I would."

"Come on, Evans," James smirked, eyes twinkling behind his glasses. "Admit it; you want to go out with me."

She turned her back to him dramatically to face Remus. "Hello Remus," she smiled a little too brightly. "How was your summer?"

He chuckled slightly. "Good, pretty typical, yours?"

"Very nice, thank you," she said sweetly. James stared at the back of her neck, it looked soft. He wanted to touch it. "How were your O.W.L. results?"

"Not bad," he shrugged. "Four O's, Four E's. Let me guess, you got straight O's?"

She blushed a little.

"I got six O's," James said loudly.

Lily spun on her heel and faced him. "Well, considering I got nine, I don't really find that very impressive."

Sirius had to employ his fist again.

Lily looked back to Remus. "Well, it was nice to see you Remus; I'll talk to you on the train in the prefect's compartment." And with that, she stormed off.

"Look likes you've got your work cut out for you mate," Sirius said, the laughter finally breaking through his hand.

James watched Lily's ponytail as she bounced away. "No," he smiled weakly. "She's just playing hard to get."

"Or impossible," Sirius clucked.

A look of anger mixed with desperation crossed James' face as the whistle blew and everyone began to board the train.


	2. Chapter 2

The new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was an attractive young witch by the name of Lorelei Arden. Sirius had taken to winking at her in the middle of class. She had given him detention twice already, but at the same time, seemed rather flattered when he did it. Thanks to their O.W.L. results, Sirius and James were both taking Advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts, Charms, Transfiguration, Herbology, and Care of Magical Creatures. Remus was taking the same classes with the addition of Advanced Arithmancy. Peter had failed his Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L., despite an obvious question about recognizing werewolves, but he was enrolled in the rest of Sirius and James' classes. James was happy to see that Lily was in all of his classes except Care of Magical Creatures, which she had never taken anyway.

The gossip that dominated the 6th years those first few weeks was Dorcas Meadowes and Cade Bradley's inability to keep their hands off of each other. It was especially noticeable in Defense Against the Dark Arts where Sirius and James sat directly behind the love birds. Sirius' new favorite pastimes were making dirty jokes during class and, of course, reenacting their goings-on for Dorcas in the common room every chance he got with James egging him on. She seemed rather nonplussed, and simply reminded him of that time she had caught him with Veronica Smethley in the Astronomy Tower.

"Really Sirius," she had sighed on her way up to the girls' dormitory one night in mid-September. "I would have thought that you could have thought of somewhere more original."

According to Remus, the two always had a very public, very passionate songfest right before entering the Arithmancy classroom.

Their latest Defense Against the Dark Arts class was especially dull. Professor Arden was lecturing about how to avoid a Binding Curse. A few students, including Lily and Remus, were taking notes, but most of the 23 students were passing notes, staring out the window, or simply zoning out. Near the back of the classroom, Dorcas had slipped her hand under the waistband of Cade's pants and was obviously tickling him. He smirked suggestively and wrapped his own hidden arm around her slim waist. Sirius poked him with his quill. Cade jumped a little and turned his head to look back at Sirius' grin.

"Tisk, tisk," he shook his head. "Hands to yourselves, kiddies."

Dorcas turned her head as well. She wore an unaffected expression. "Why don't you pay attention to the lesson?" she asked calmly.

"I am completely unable to learn anything when you two are fornicating right in front of me," Sirius said in mock indignation.

Dorcas smiled a little. "We are hardly fornicating. Besides, why should you care if we were?" Then with a rather wicked smile, she raised her eyebrows. "Jealous?" she asked and turned quickly back around. Cade followed suit and soon her hand was back in his robes.

Sirius stared at Dorcas for a second, pushing a piece of dark hair out of his eyes. He pulled a scrap of parchment from his bag and scribbled a note on it. He passed it to James and waited for a response. He didn't get one. Confused, he glanced at his best friend. He was staring at the front of the room. Sirius rolled his eyes, and followed James' line of sight, expecting to see the back of a very red head. Instead, to his surprise, he saw a pale, skinny boy with long greasy black hair and a rather large hooked nose. Immediately, he nudged James.

"Why are you staring at Snivellus, mate?" Sirius asked, on the verge of laughter.

"He's been ogling Evans since class started." James said with a twinge of anger to his voice. "Look."

Sure enough, Snape's beady black eyes were fixed on the back of Lily Evans' head three seats in front of him

"It looks like Snivellus likes muggle-borns more than he pretends too," Sirius said.

James was glaring at Snape. "Does he really think she'd ever consider dating him? I mean, can you imagine how often she'd have to shower?"

"Relax mate," Sirius patted James' shoulder and chuckled. "Evans is not going anywhere near Snivellus."

"Are you sure?"

Remus had agreed with Sirius, but promised to watch Snape and Lily in

Arithmancy. It would be easy since there were only eleven 6th years in the class. He and Lily had already formed a bond as the two Gryffindors in Advanced Arithmancy who weren't snogging Cade Bradley. Remus and Lily had gotten to know each other fairly well as Gryffindor prefects 5th year, and their continued duties had brought them closer since the term had begun.

"Miss Meadowes," Professor Vector called loudly one late September day as the 6th years were working on their latest number charts.

Dorcas looked up immediately. "Yes Professor."

"I would appreciate it if you would remove your hand from Mr. Bradley's leg," she snapped.

"Of course Professor," Dorcas placed her hand on the desk in front of her.

"Please remain after class, Miss Meadowes," she sighed. "You too, Mr. Bradley."

Lily sniggered and glanced at Remus. "Those two are disgusting," she smirked.

"Yeah," he laughed.

"It's about the only thing that I agree with James Potter about."

Remus raised his eyebrows in interest and Lily groaned.

"Don't you dare tell him I said that," she whispered harshly. "I'd never get rid of him."

"He's not that bad, Lily," Remus shrugged, laughing quietly. "Arrogant, yes, but he's really a good guy."

"If you say that I agree with him, Remus…"

"I won't," he put his hands up in surrender; careful to keep the gesture small so Professor Vector wouldn't see him. "But you should know that he is determined to get you to go out with him, and in the 5 years I've known James Potter, he's always gotten what he's wanted."

"Well," Lily said quickly. "Maybe it's time he learned about disappointment."

"Snape's staring at you again," Remus changed the subject.

Lily's face contorted into disgust. "I don't know why," she scoffed. "He's the only person I'm less likely to date than James Potter."

Remus smiled.

"But don't tell him that either," she said quickly to get the smirk off of the dark eyed boy's face. She suddenly laughed. "How do I know you won't go spill everything I say back to Potter?"

"I won't," he said, chuckling. "I promise."

"You're not like the two of them," she mused. "Are you?"

"You mean Sirius and James?" he asked.

She nodded silently.

"I guess not," he shrugged. "They've always been the important ones, the popular ones. Sirius has his girls, James has got Quidditch, and they've both got loads of brains. I guess they know it and, I mean, can you blame them for the way they act? I've always had to work a little harder, gotten a little less praise. It's not like I begrudge them what they've gotten. They've both been amazing mates to me and they are, despite their toerag-ish behavior, really stand-up blokes. But, yeah, we're different."

"I think you're a really stand-up bloke Remus Lupin," she smiled sweetly at him.

He shrugged sheepishly and went back to his number chart.

October 2nd was the first attack of the school year. Polly McCarthey, a 6th year Hufflepuff, lost her older brother and sister-in-law. She left Hogwarts immediately with her mother and father for the funeral.

"Mr. Potter," Professor McGonagall called in the middle of Transfiguration in the middle of October. "Can you tell me the correct incantation to turn this pocket watch into an apple?"

"Pommeurati," he responded without losing a beat.

"That is correct Mr. Potter," she conceded. "But could you please stop staring at the back of Miss Evans' head while I continue this lesson."

"But the back of Miss Evans' head is so beautiful, Professor McGonagall," James said cockily. "It is the most beautiful back of a head I've ever seen."

"Be as that may, Mr. Potter," Professor McGonagall said, peering over her glasses. "If you continue to stare at it, you will be given detention."

"Alright Professor," he faked a sniffle. "I will tear my eyes from the glory of Miss Evans' head."

Lily turned and glared at James. He winked at her, mouthing the words: "go out with me." She stuck her chin in the air, her eyes narrowing in scorn, and turned her head. McGonagall rolled her eyes and continued with the lesson: making food out of household objects.

Next to James, Sirius wore his typical expression of haughty boredom. His eyes scanned the room. Lily sat in the middle of the front row, directly in front of McGonagall. On her right side was Gwendolyn Abercrombie in all her lithe, blonde glory. Sirius had experienced that glory last February in the stacks. He smiled at the memory and continued surveying the room. Adelbert Harper and William Seymour, two Ravenclaws, were furiously taking notes near the window. Behind them sat Remus and Peter. Remus was mildly engaged in the class, taking the occasional note while scratching at a scab on the side of his face. Next to Peter was Julia Connors, the blue-eyed Ravenclaw that Sirius had finally conquered in May. He winked at her. She smiled at him. Cade Bradley, who was sitting next to Julia, whispered something in her ear and she laughed silently. McGonagall had only stood three classes of Dorcas and Cade's constant petting before forcing them to switch seats.

Dorcas was sitting in the front of the room, right between Lily and Snape. She had handled the humiliation with as much blasé attitude as could be expected from Dorcas Meadowes, but Sirius had noticed her tall frame shrink a little in the desk chair when Snape had scowled at her. He had also caught her glancing back at Cade rather often during class. Once, Sirius had caught her eye as she was staring nervously at him. Sirius had smirked at her. Her expression had been a strange mixture of shame and anger. They had held eye contact for a few seconds before she had whipped her head back around.

Sirius watched her for a few seconds, to see if she would turn to look at Cade. When she didn't, he noticed that she was watching Snape, who was staring past her at Lily. Sirius nudged James.

"He's staring at her again," he whispered.

James' lip curled in disgust. "I know," he spat. "That greasy git has no right to be within twenty feet of her, let alone stare at her and imagine her naked."

"But that's what you're doing," Sirius raised his eyebrows in a wicked smile.

"I am not Snivellus," James was staring at Lily again. "I can imagine Evans however I want, he can't."

"Potter," McGonagall's voice rang. "Detention."


	3. Chapter 3

Lily Evans scoured The Daily Prophet as she stuck a forkful of kippers into her mouth – her eyes flicking back and forth furiously. It was now her daily ritual to search for the latest attack and any news on You-Know-Who's whereabouts at the breakfast table.

"Put down the paper Lily," Annabelle rolled her eyes as she put her tea cup back on the table. "You'll find out about them all eventually anyway. Wouldn't you like to have a pleasant, non-death filled morning for once?"

"Honestly," Gwen piped in, reaching across the table to push the paper down and reveal Lily's engaged face. "Can't we just be 16 for once?"

"But this is important," Lily said, her expression changing.

"I know," Annabelle said, spinning her tea cup back and forth with her thumb and forefinger. "But we'll find out anyway. Probably even before anything's printed in here. The attack on Iris Graham's family wasn't covered until a week after she left, remember?"

Lily contemplated Annabelle's evidence, and finally folded up her paper, sticking it inside her black bag. "Fine," she said, taking a swig of orange juice. "What did you want to talk about?"

Gwen smirked and looked at Annabelle.

"You and a certain male person," Gwendolyn smiled conspiratorially.

Lily's face reddened, "I have told you two countless times, I will not go out with James Potter. I don't care if he's Quidditch captain or if every other girl in this school wants to shag him. He is a great arrogant bully with fewer good qualities than an acromantula; at least they have eight eyes."

Annabelle chuckled slightly and shook her head. "We weren't talking about James, though you seem awfully eager to shoot down any rumor about the two of you." She and Gwendolyn exchanged loaded glances and giggled.

"Well then," Lily gathered herself. "Who are you talking about?"

"Remus Lupin," Gwen said.

"Remus?" Lily was visibly surprised.

"Yeah," Annabelle nodded, an interested grin pulling at the side of her mouth. "Apparently the two of you are awfully cuddly in Arithmancy."

Lily laughed. "Who told you that?"

"Dorcas," Gwen shrugged.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Dorcas Meadowes is a bloody fabulous multi-tasker. Able to service Cade Bradley, spy on her fellow classmates, and complete Arithmancy number charts all at the same time. She should get some sort of award."

Annabelle and Gwen looked at each other again. This infuriated Lily.

"I hate it when you two do that. What is it?"

"Dorcas and Cade broke up," Gwen said delicately. "We thought you knew."

"When did that happen?"

"Tuesday," Annabelle said, taking a sip of her tea.

"How did I not notice that?" she shrugged. "I had Arithmancy with them yesterday."

"Too busy talking to Remus, I'd wager," Gwen suggested, a rather obnoxious smile on her face.

"Remus and I are just friends," Lily said, pushing her food around with her fork. "Besides, nothing could ever happen as long as he is friends with Potter."

"But you admit that you're cozy in Arithmancy?" Annabelle asked, a look of interest dominating her light green eyes.

"Hardly cozy," Lily scoffed, looking up. "Friendly, yes. As in friends who talk."

"We won't tell James," Gwen winked at Lily.

"Oh shut up Gwendolyn Abercrombie." Lily threw a piece of kipper at the blonde girl.

"Have you heard about why Cade and Dorcas broke up?" Annabelle whispered, leaning closer to the table. Then looking around, she added. "He cheated on her with Julia Connors."

"Really?" Gwen put a hand to her mouth and her huge blue eyes grew even bigger.

"Can you imagine how she reacted?" Annabelle smiled nervously.

"Knowing Dorcas Meadowes, she didn't," said Gwendolyn. "She probably looked at him and said, 'Okay, well I guess we're breaking up then,' and then shook his hand with that stupid smile on her face."

Annabelle laughed loudly.

Lily glanced down the table to where Dorcas was sitting by herself. She was pushing her eggs around her plate and occasionally taking a small bite or two. She wore an unreadable expression.

"That's probably why he cheated on her," Gwen sniggered. "He wanted to know if he was doing it right."

Annabelle and Gwen laughed.

"Let's change the subject girls," Lily said. "Just because Dorcas likes to remain mysterious doesn't make talking about her all that interesting."

Annabelle and Gwendolyn shrugged and went on to talk about the hottest professional Quidditch players. Lily looked back down the table at Dorcas.

That night in the common room, James was working on plays for the upcoming Quidditch match against Ravenclaw. He was determined to squash them royally since he had seen Lily laughing with William Seymour – the Ravenclaw chaser– in Transfiguration yesterday. Peter was excitedly watching James' notes and figures, commenting occasionally on the Quidditch captain's unsurpassed genius. Sirius was loafing about next to them, unabashedly staring at Veronica Smethley's rather ample chest as she read over her Muggle Studies notes. Veronica noticed, but didn't seem to be offended at all. In fact, she was relishing the glance of Sirius' deep gray eyes. Lupin was practicing the rather difficult spell McGonagall had given them for homework and having quite a time with it. His drawn face looked even more exhausted than usual.

Dorcas Meadowes watched the scene from the corner of the common room, where she had set herself up with her potions notes. Normally she studied in the library, but she knew Cade would be down there, probably with Julia. She glanced over at the other girls on the couch on the other side of the room: Lily with her nose in her Arithmancy book, Gwen and Annabelle giggling at the latest gossip, no doubt. Dorcas silently cursed. She had wanted to do this in a more private setting. Should she wait until tomorrow? No, this had to be dealt with now, before her reputation was damaged beyond repair. Dorcas placed the tall stack of parchment on the table next to her. She had suddenly taken to writing down everything every professor said to avoid any contact with Cade Bradley's bright blue eyes. She took a deep breath and pushed herself off of the armchair she was sitting in. Slowly, she walked towards the center of the room, passing Owen Towler, who was chewing furiously on the end of a quill with his head stuck in a book called Magical and Muggle Relations: A Survey.

She reached her destination faster than she had expected. Damning her long legs, she tapped him on the shoulder. He turned his head and glanced at her with deep gray eyes.

"I need to talk to you about something," she said. "Can you meet me somewhere?"

Sirius' face broke out into an amused half-smile and he nodded, raising his eyebrows. "Where?" he asked. Dorcas had, of course, expected this to happen.

"The prefect's bathroom," she said. "Meet me outside. Cade gave me the password."

He nodded again, the smirk growing into a sick smile. "Ten minutes," he said.

"Alright," she nodded.

Dorcas walked toward the portrait hole quickly, but caught Sirius giving a look and a thumbs-up to James. "Boys," she thought. As she climbed through the portrait, she heard The Fat Lady clucking in disapproval. Picking up the pace, she walked quickly and silently, praying that she wouldn't run into anyone and that the bathroom wasn't occupied. When she reached the statue of Boris the Bewildered, she muttered the password, "bubble bath" and entered the room. Thankfully, it was empty and the mermaid was asleep. She exited the room immediately, and now began praying that Sirius would hurry up and that no prefect, especially Cade, would decide to use the bathroom in the next twenty minutes.

After what seemed like eons, Sirius showed up, the sick smile still plastered on his handsome face.

"Well, let's go," he said eagerly.

Dorcas muttered the password, and the bathroom opened. Sirius had, of course, been in here a million times (girls seemed to find it romantic), but it always made him want to be a prefect. Remus was damn lucky. The candle-filled chandelier cast a soft glow over the room that made the white marble glow ethereally. He supposed it was a bit romantic.

Dorcas was staring into the gigantic bathtub; deep in thought. Sirius noticed that she looked rather nervous. Deciding that the best thing to do was to just get things going, he walked towards where she was standing, wrapped his arms around her, and whispered suggestively in her ear. "Is this where you bring all your blokes?"

Dorcas shrugged him off. It wasn't violent, but one could tell what she wanted. Sirius, with a confused frown on his face, let go of her and backed up a little. Dorcas turned and smiled in apology at him.

"I know you think we're going to shag," she said sheepishly. "But we're not. I do actually want to talk to you."

Sirius gaped at her. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not really the talking kind."

Dorcas laughed quietly. "I've noticed. That's why I want to talk to you. I need your help."

"My help?"

Dorcas looked awfully uncomfortable. "Yeah, I kind of need you to………um…..well.."

"What?" Sirius was getting a little angry. He had come down here for a shag, a shag with a girl he'd never had, and now he was here getting asked for favors. The pent-up lust was beginning to transform into rage.

"Would it be too much to ask, that is…." She fumbled over her words. "I need you to shag Julia Connors."

"I already have," Sirius said flatly. "Plus then I'd have to deal with Cade Bradley." Then, as not to look weak, he added, "not that I couldn't, of course, I just don't really want to."

"Look," Dorcas shrugged. "This is really hard for me. I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm pretty good at being independent. But, my reputation has been damaged. I have to play defense, and you're my best move."

"So this is about Bradley?" Sirius pushed a piece of hair out of his eyes. "You want me to ruin Julia's reputation and therefore, his?"

"Basically," she nodded. "Just prove that she's a dirty slag, and he can't hold on to her."

"Well, Miss Meadowes," he sighed. "Someone has some pride issues."

"Oh spare me," she rolled her eyes. "Will you do it?"

Sirius thought about what Dorcas had asked him. He wouldn't mind shagging Julia again, that was certain, but was he willing to put in the effort. Despite what Dorcas said, Julia Connors was not a slag. Ravenclaw girls were especially hard to catch, and Julia was no exception. He could do it, that was for sure, but why should he? What would he get out of it?

He posed this question to Dorcas. "What's in it for me?" he asked.

"Well, I'm not going to shag you," she said in a matter-of-fact voice.

Sirius considered demanding that in exchange for Julia Connors, but decided against it. He didn't need blackmail to get birds. He could have almost anyone he wanted. In fact, he had had almost every girl at Hogwarts in their year – including all the Hufflepuffs and most of the Gryffindors, minus Meadowes and …

"I've got it," he smirked. "If I shag Julia Connors for you, you have to find out everything you can about Lily Evans."

"Lily Evans hates me," Dorcas said flatly. "That's impossible."

"You live in the same room, take the same classes, have the same roommates," he said. "How hard could it be?"

"Pretty damn hard," she said, with an air of finality.

"Well, Miss Meadowes," Sirius shrugged. "Those are my terms. Take them or find someone else to shag Julia Connors." Then with a wink, he added, "Though I am the master."

Dorcas knew that. It was the reason she had asked him. But getting close to Lily Evans was a lot more than she had bargained for. What was she thinking? She was Dorcas Meadowes; she could do anything she wanted.

"Alright," she said, her head held arrogantly in the air. "I'll do it."

Sirius held out his large hand, Dorcas grabbed it, and they shook hard.

"Nice doing business with you, Mr. Black."


	4. Chapter 4

Dorcas zoned in and out of Slughorn's lecture on Polyjuice Potion, as he spoke excitedly over a bubbling cauldron of the stuff in front of him. Advanced Potions was now an altogether different animal to Dorcas Meadowes. She and Cade had moved seats. He was now sitting in the 2nd row next to William Seymour – his Quidditch mate. In accordance with her part of the deal, Dorcas was making an effort to get inside Lily Evans' brain. Learning things about Lily was proving to be difficult since she was almost always taking extensive notes or completely immersed in mixing the ingredients of Slughorn's latest assignment. She had considered talking to Lily in Arithmancy instead, but she and Remus Lupin had formed a sort of two person clique. Convinced that Potions was her only chance, Dorcas had moved to the empty seat next to her redheaded roommate a week ago.

Suddenly Dorcas caught a fresh, pungent whiff of oranges and then the masculine smell of leather, followed quickly by the dark scent of real unsweetened chocolate. She looked to the front of the class towards a cauldron filled with a liquid that shone like mother-of-pearl and from which spirals of steam were escaping.

"Amortentia," Slughorn said. "The most powerful love potion in the world, characterized by the mother-of-pearl sheen, the spirals of steam, and the way it smells differently to every person based on what attracts them."

"Wicked, huh?" Dorcas took her chance to start up a conversation. "That someone could have that much power over someone else. Dictate who they'd fall in love with."

Lily nodded, staring at the potion. "It is wicked. That potion has always frightened me a little, the way it smells like a rainstorm and fresh tea and….. Yeah," she caught herself, "wicked."

"I wonder how bright it is of Slughorn to tell 16-year-old boys that there is the possibility of making a girl completely obsessed with them," Dorcas chuckled, and added. "Especially exceptionally greasy ones who sit in the back of Potions."

"Severus is harmless," Lily shrugged. "He wouldn't do anything like that."

"Well, lucky for you James Potter isn't in this class," Dorcas said, looking back to her potion.

Lily paused, an odd almost-smile on her face. "Yeah, awfully lucky." Then quickly she asked, "Have you ever thought about using a love potion?"

"Have you?" Dorcas shot back. "What am I talking about?" she said, catching herself. "You'd never have to."

"Geoff Riley. 4th year," she said quickly, turning back to her notes.

"You mean…?"

"I am one of the cleverest witches of my age, aren't I?" Lily smirked.

Dorcas fought the urge to let her jaw drop to the floor. Lily Evans sure had a bold streak.

"What about you?"

Dorcas went still, hiding behind her trademark half-smile. This was what she was afraid of. Finding things out about Lily Evans meant that they would have to be friends and being friends meant sharing. If she wanted the good information, she'd have to give Lily something in return. Dorcas would have to talk about Dorcas. There it was. Was keeping her pride this important?

"Well, I'm about as good as you in Potions, aren't I?" her face didn't change.

"Who?" Lily grinned.

"Patrick Joskins. 4th year."

Lily nodded, smiled, and turned back to her notes. Professor Slughorn continued his lecture on the dangers of Amortentia and Dorcas contemplated what unwanted effects her new undertaking would bring.

* * *

James had laughed out loud when Sirius learned what had happened in the Prefects' Bathroom later that night in the common room after the rest of the Gryffindors had gone to sleep.

"You mean there's a girl at the school who doesn't want to shag you?" James had slapped Sirius on the back. "Sorry mate, we all have our disappointments."

"Hey, apparently my sex appeal can be used as a weapon," Sirius had smirked. "I'm being used for school warfare."

"You should consider hiring yourself out," James suggested. "You could earn some good money."

"Hey mate," Sirius punched James in the shoulder. "You're the one reaping the benefits of my hard work. We've got a spy in on Evans."

"I don't know," James shrugged, a somewhat guilty look on his face. "Isn't that…I don't know…cheating?"

"Hey, you know what they say," Sirius said with a smile, "All's fair in love and war."

"Who actually says that?"

* * *

Shock ran through Hogwarts castle when two attacks occurred within three days of each other. The first had been on Baxter Stebbins' uncle, a high ranking official in the Ministry of Magic. He was killed. Two days later, Yolanda Cummings' parents had been tortured, and were sent to St. Mungo's immediately. Baxter, a Hufflepuff, was in most of the Gryffindor 6th years' classes and his absence was a constant reminder of the horror going on outside of the Hogwarts walls.

"It's awful," Lily said to Remus one day in the middle of Arithmancy. Baxter usually sat directly in front of her. "I mean, no one's safe, are they?"

"Well," Remus shrugged. "Pure-bloods seem rather under-represented on the list of victims. Of course, that only covers about 10 of the population, doesn't it?"

Lily sighed. "Sometimes I'm glad I go back to the muggle world every summer. There isn't a war going on there, you know. It's refreshing to not have to read about You-Know-Who in the papers every day."

"I'd imagine so," Remus nodded.

"But, of course, then I worry about people here." She dropped her quill on to her desk and looked Remus directly in the eyes. Remus felt his stomach drop out and his breathing sped up. "I thought about you all a lot over the summer, wondering if you were alright. It was hard."

Remus, somewhat awkwardly, patted her on the shoulder. "It'll be alright Lily," he said, trying to sound strong, but failing as his voice cracked over her name. "We're all worried about everyone else. You're not alone."

Lily smiled sadly. "Thanks Remus," she said, dropping her head.

* * *

"So," Sirius stretched his long arms and legs as he sat down on the couch in front of the Gryffindor fireplace. "What do you have to share with me?"

Dorcas sat down on the couch next to him and shrugged. "I know she likes the smells of rain and tea."

"Um… ok," Sirius looked confused.

"We talked about Amortentia in Potions the other day."

"And that means?" Sirius obviously had never heard of the potion.

"It's a love potion. It smells differently to every person, like the things that attract them," Dorcas said.

"So what?" Sirius didn't look impressed. "If James pours tea down his front and then stands in the rain, Evans' nose will force her to snog the spit out of him?"

"You just told me to gather information," Dorcas said, a smile crossing her face. "You get to decide what to do with it."

"There has to be something else," Sirius shifted restlessly.

"Well," Dorcas thought. "When I brought James up, she really didn't seem disgusted at all."

"Really?" Sirius leaned toward Dorcas, waiting for good news.

"She just changed the subject really fast."

Sirius' smile faded.

"I do know she's been really affected by Baxter," Dorcas said. "But then, so has everyone else."

"Yeah," Sirius scratched his head and screwed up his face a bit.

The two sat in silence for a few seconds, unwilling to tackle such a serious subject.

"How are things with Julia going?" Dorcas asked, puncturing the silence.

"Good," Sirius smirked. "We're studying for Charms on Thursday. I'll do it then."

"You work fast, don't you?" Dorcas chuckled.

"What can I say," he put his arms behind his head, and stretched and crossed his legs with as much bravado as was possible for a 16-year-old boy to have. "I am the master." Then he added, "You realize, of course, that you will have to continue feeding me information about Evans until I'm satisfied."

Dorcas was taken a little aback. "Am I going to be in your servitude forever?"

"Well I don't know," Sirius smiled suggestively. "I might just want to keep you."

Dorcas shook her head and groaned.

"Just until James finally gets Evans to go out with him," he laughed.

"That will be forever," she said, sighing.

"We can still call it off," he offered, leaning further back, "I haven't actually done anything with Julia yet."

"No," Dorcas conceded. "I'll help you get them together. I'm getting tired of his pursuit myself. Just make sure you deal with Julia."

"Oh I will," Sirius smiled, rather wickedly. "How does the astronomy tower sound?"

Dorcas laughed out loud.

"Perfect place for a little rendezvous, wouldn't you say?"

"Perfect place to get caught," she wore a smile to match Sirius.'

He gave her a look of mock innocence and shrugged.

Dorcas laughed weakly, and then pursed her lips in thought. "There is one other thing I've noticed about Lily."

"Yeah?" Sirius leaned forward again. "What is it?"

"Well," she shrugged. "It's not so much about Lily as it is about the way certain people feel about Lily."

"I already know about Snape," Sirius dismissed the comment. "That's not a threat."

Dorcas shook her head. "It's not Snape."

"Who then?" he asked.

Dorcas paused, running a hand through her long wavy brown hair and biting her upper lip.

"I could be completely off the mark with this," she preceded her revelation with a warning as she furrowed her brow and a wrinkle appeared between dark eyebrows. "I mean, they could just be closer friends than I thought."

Sirius was getting impatient. "Who is it?"

"Remus," she said quietly, looking down.

Sirius felt his heart drop; a look of total surprise took over his face.

"They've always been friends in Arithmancy, and I never really thought about it," she spoke quickly without looking at him. "But the other day, he was comforting her about Baxter again, and then when she was taking notes, he looked at her. It seemed, I don't know, romantic to me."

Sirius looked hard at the girl who had just told him that his two best friends were in love with the same girl.

"You're right," he said, standing. "You are completely off the mark."


	5. Chapter 5

Sirius Black prided himself on being loyal. After hours of deliberation, he had decided to keep his end of the bargain he had made with Dorcas Meadowes, despite the total shite she had given him about Lily Evans and Moony.

That was the easy part. He was wrestling hard with himself over whether or not to tell Remus. Even though Sirius knew that Moony did not have romantic feelings towards Lily Evans, he didn't want people like Dorcas Meadowes spreading rumors. Telling James was out of the question. Sirius didn't want to see how his best friend would react to that. The idea of Evans and any bloke made him rage. The idea of Evans and Moony would surely put him over the edge.

Meadowes' comments had made Sirius hyper-conscious of Remus' conduct towards Evans. Remus was awfully polite to her, especially when compared with the way James and Sirius treated her, but that was how Remus always treated Evans. Of course, Remus was a smart guy, he wouldn't go publicizing his feelings right in front of James. If he did have those feelings, which he didn't. Since the two sat on opposite sides of the room in the classes they shared with Sirius, he never saw them interacting there, except for the occasional smile, which seemed natural enough. Meadowes had to be wrong.

* * *

Mid-November was always a stressful time for James. With Quidditch season just entering full swing and the prospect of winter exams, his plate seemed impossibly full. This year was no exception. As captain for the first time, he now felt solely responsible for the success of the Gryffindor team. Their first match was in three days time against Ravenclaw and while the team seemed spot-on, better than last year's, he wanted this year's cup more than ever. If he could lead the team to win the cup, maybe Evans would finally see him as something besides an arrogant bully. He rubbed a bruise on his right arm from an outing as Prongs, Padfoot, Moony, and Wormtail two weeks before and bent further over the Quidditch plays in front of him. Sloper could fly that fast, couldn't she? Pass the Quaffle to Idle, they won't expect that.

Suddenly a creak broke James out of his reverie. Lily had climbed through the portrait hole, an arm-load of books indicating that she had just come from the library.

"Alright, Evans?" he nodded.

She nodded sarcastically.

For some reason, James couldn't stop himself from talking, even though he knew how she would react. "Are you coming to the Quidditch match on Tuesday?" he smirked to conceal his lack of confidence.

"I am," she nodded, "but not to see you."

"Are you sure about that," the smirk grew to a suggestive smile. "Sure you don't want to see my amazing physique in action?"

"Yes," she put a disgusted look on her face. "I'm going to watch Annabelle, who happens to be the only reason I'm not cheering for Ravenclaw."

"Come on, Evans," he pleaded, his elbows on the table. "Go out with me."

"For the millionth time, Potter," she let out a large amount of air. "I will not go out with you."

"You know you want to," he smiled, looking up at her with eyes twinkling behind his glasses.

She groaned loudly and stormed off to the stairs.

"Evans…" he called. "Hey Evans, come on."

When she had disappeared up the stairs, he sighed and returned to his Quidditch plans, but he couldn't pay attention. All he could think about were how beautiful Lily's eyes were when she was angry.

* * *

Lily Evans collapsed on to her huge four poster bed, letting the books she was carrying fall next to her. He was incorrigible. Honestly, a normal person would have given up years ago, but James Potter was not a normal person.

"Let me guess?" Dorcas asked, poking a head out of her drawn curtains. "Potter?"

Lily sat up suddenly in surprise and, a few seconds later, nodded. "What are you doing in there?"

"Studying," she said, showing Lily her Transfiguration book. "It's quieter in here than in the common room and I'm not ready to go back to the library yet."

"Makes sense."

"So what happened?" Dorcas asked, pushing back the red damask.

"He asked me out again," Lily sighed as she lay back down on her quilt. "I officially can go nowhere without being subjected to a date offer from James Potter. I think he might show up in the girl's loo one day."

Dorcas laughed.

"I mean, honestly, the bloke has a one-track mind." Lily stared at the canopy above her head, focusing on a tiny black stain, "Well, two-track, he does think about Quidditch."

"You know, Lily," Dorcas put her Transfiguration book on her bedside table. "There are a lot of girls who would kill to have James Potter madly in love with them."

"I don't know why," she sighed.

"What is it that you hate about him so much?"

"Why do you care?" Lily shot, sitting up and glaring at Dorcas. "Do you want to shag him too?"

"Potter is hardly my type," Dorcas said flatly. "He's two inches shorter than I am."

"Right," she said quietly. "Sorry, it's just a question I get asked a lot."

"Is there a secret answer?" Dorcas raised her eyebrows.

Lily guffawed. "Not really."

"Fair enough," Dorcas opened the curtains to her four poster bed all the way. "You mind if I ask about Remus?"

"What about him?" Lily had an unconcerned look on her face, as she began to organize the stack of books on her nightstand.

"I've just noticed that the two of you have gotten awfully close lately," Dorcas sat on the edge of her bed, playing with the quilt that covered it. "You won't be breaking up any friendships anytime soon, will you?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "James Potter would get over me in a second if I started dating one of his best friends. I'm just a challenge to him, that's all."

"Well, if that's true, will you be dating one of his best friends?"

"If you haven't noticed, I like them _not_ Gryffindor," Lily said, picking up her Charms book.

Dorcas smiled and nodded, getting the point. She picked up her Transfiguration and the two girls continued studying.

* * *

"Do you think he's going to do anything?" Remus asked, glancing over at a rather angry looking Cade Bradley during lunch.

"Don't know," said Sirius, trying to look unaffected. "It's not really my fault, you know, Julia just couldn't resist me."

Peter was looking at Sirius like he was the most amazing paragon of manhood that ever existed.

"You're disgusting, mate," James said, though he wore a smirk that proved he thought otherwise.

"I'm pretty sure it is your fault," Remus said through a mouthful of toast. "You did go after her. I can't believe you actually agreed to do that."

Sirius had told Peter and Remus the entire story that morning. Well except for the part about Dorcas spying on Lily. He thought Remus might react badly to that.

"She didn't exactly run screaming from me, Moony, now did she?" Sirius said, cockily flourishing his fork. "You think Meadowes has heard about this yet?"

"I think everybody's heard about it." James smirked, as Muriel McKinnon and Phillipa Gettilfinger glared at Sirius from their spots next to Julia. James waved, smiling, and they immediately turned around.

Sure enough the entire hall was buzzing with news of Sirius' exploits the night before. The rumors were rampant and some were mind-benders, like the one that speculated Sirius had used Polyjuice Potion to impersonate Bradley. The truth, however, was rather simple. He had met her in the library for a "Charms study session." After about ten minutes, their chairs were touching and Sirius was rubbing a hand up and down her thigh. The words "you're so beautiful" had been whispered breathily in her ear. Deep gray eyes in a young handsome face had pleaded with Julia's big blue ones. Soon he had whisked her off to the Astronomy Tower, pulling her by the hand, and not even trying to climb the stairs when they got there. The kissing had immediately turned passionate, thanks to Sirius' rather enthusiastic tongue, and within minutes he was pressing her against the stone wall, her robes and skirt up around her waist. Myles Ackerley, another Ravenclaw 6th year, had caught them. It was very probable that he was meeting Isabelle Stuart to do the very thing he witnessed, but that really didn't matter. All that did matter was that Myles had marched immediately back to the Ravenclaw common room and told Cade what he had seen.

"Nice job Black," Dorcas Meadowes sauntered to the table, wearing her typical half-smile. "It worked perfectly."

"My pleasure," he winked. "It was a rather easy task really."

"I'm glad to hear it," she nodded, the smile growing a bit. "Ready to suffer the wrath of Cade Bradley?"

"I think I can handle it," he said cockily.

"Good," she said. "Because he's coming over here right now."

Sirius turned his head quickly. Sure enough, the tall blonde boy was walking toward where he was sitting – his thin lips even thinner. He stood quickly, maintaining a stance of as much masculine bravado as he could muster.

"Black," Bradley said through his teeth as he reached the table. "We need to talk."

"About what?" Sirius said nonchalantly.

"About you fucking my girlfriend," he growled.

The two boys stood at almost exactly the same height, and next to each other, they looked like the two extremes of masculine beauty. Cade Bradley, golden and blonde, with his boyish features and playful charm was facing Sirius Black, the dark, strong-featured and stubble-covered man.

Dorcas backed away as Cade stepped closer to Sirius, getting right in his face.

"She seemed rather eager for it," Sirius said as if to provoke Bradley. "Maybe you weren't doing it right."

Cade shoved Sirius, hard. He stumbled back into the table, knocking over his chair and upsetting his plate. James shot up, standing there inches shorter than the other two. He wore an expression of bullish resolve. Sirius righted himself, tasting a cut on his wrist that his knife had given him when he had fallen. He licked his upper lip, in angry thought, and then shoved Cade back, harder. The Ravenclaw Quidditch captain fell to the tiled floor, and before anyone knew from where, William Seymour was at his side.

Cade rose like a wounded animal, the rage burning in his eyes. He pulled an arm back in a fist and Sirius waited for the contact.

"Oh for Merlin's sake, stop it" he heard a voice say calmly.

Cade had heard it too because he had put his arm down and looked to his left. Dorcas Meadowes stood there, looking haughtier than ever.

"You two are pathetic," she rolled her eyes. "So Julia Connors is a slag. You should shake his hand, Cade. He showed you what kind of girl you were actually dating."

"Oh shut up Dorcas," Cade said angrily. "I'll bet you're loving this."

Dorcas stood up a little straighter. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I find it awfully sad that Julia cheated on you less than a month after you started dating her. Though, it is rather karmic, wouldn't you say?"

He glared at her for a second, his bright blue eyes narrowed menacingly. Finally he scoffed, muttering something about it not being worth it, and turned back to the Ravenclaw table. Ackerley followed close behind.

"You alright?" Dorcas looked at Sirius.

He nodded, shrugging the incident off. "I could have taken care of it, you know."

The mysterious smile crossed her face. "I know," she said. "I just wanted to finish the job, if you know what I mean."

"Right," Sirius said, sitting back down. Then looking at James, "Relax Prongs, he's not coming back."

James deflated a little, sitting, though still glaring at Bradley over his shoulder.

"Just pummel him tomorrow," Dorcas said, as she walked down the length of the table.


	6. Chapter 6

_"Oh James," Lily's red hair was fanned out behind her as she ran on to the Quidditch pitch. Her green eyes were huge with excitement. "You were amazing."_

_James was in a pose of undoubted confidence, slouching to one side, with an easy smile on his face and his broom tucked cockily under his arm. His hair was perfectly messy, and he played with it a little to prove it to himself. "Well thanks, Evans," he raised his eyebrows._

_She walked closer to him and her hair fell about her shoulders. "I can't believe that you can fly like that." She was looking up at him and breathing heavily with her lips parted._

_"I'm glad you liked it, Evans."_

_She sighed, her eyes glazing over. "I really did like it." _

_James suddenly wrapped his free arm around her waist, pulled her roughly to him, and kissed her hard. She immediately went limp in his arm, but James Potter's arms had been strengthened by Quidditch and he held her up with no effort at all as he continued to kiss her, their tongues now tangling around in her mouth._

_"James," he heard her murmur. "I've always wanted you to do that."_

* * *

"HEY PRONGS!" James was awakened suddenly by the contact of a Charms book.

"Why would you throw that at me, Padfoot?" He muttered as he shot up. Rubbing his chest, he felt around for his glasses. "I do have to play Quidditch today."

"I know," Sirius said, loudly. "And you have to win, so you have to get up now."

"Hey James," he heard Peter say. "How badly are you going to kick Cade Bradley's arse?"

"Pretty badly, Wormtail," he answered, finally finding them, putting them on and rubbing a sleepy hand through his hair. He stood groggily and pulled a pair of trousers and a jumper out of his trunk.

"Nice hair, James," Remus said flatly.

James found a mirror and stared at his reflection. His hair was messier than usual, all of it spiking in the same direction. It looked nothing like it had in the dream.

"So…" Sirius had an evil smile on his face. "Having a good dream this morning?"

James glared at his best friend whose black hair looked annoyingly perfect.

"Such a huge smile on your face this morning James," Sirius coolly ran a hand through that perfect hair. "How is you imaginary Evans by the way?"

"Give him a break Sirius," Remus chuckled slightly, though somewhat nervously.

"Yeah," James muttered. "Leave me alone." He was rather annoyed at the sudden and rather unwelcome wake-up call he had received this morning. That coupled with his nerves at the upcoming Quidditch match had formed a knot in his stomach.

"Oh poor Prongs," Sirius mocked a sad face. "Did we wake you at a bad time?"

"Shut up Sirius," James began changing. "Where's Towler?"

"He went down to breakfast already," Remus said, pulling on his robes. "Said he was meeting Annabelle for breakfast."

"What?" James scowled. "I'm the captain; they should wait for me if they're going to have a strategy session."

Remus smiled slightly. "I don't think it was that sort of strategy session."

James scoffed. How had he missed the fact that one of his chasers and his keeper had started some romantic tryst? All he could think was that it better not affect their games.

"Let's go," he said in an annoyed voice when he had finished changing.

* * *

Luckily for James, Griffindor did beat Ravenclaw in the first Quidditch match of the season. Cade Bradley had stormed off the field in a manner of a five year old who had been told he couldn't have a biscuit. November soon turned to December and the castle grounds were covered with snow. It was now commonplace to see couples, all bundled up and intertwining gloved fingers, talking long walks around the lake. This annoyed James to no end. He had snapped at Annabelle and Owen countless times on their way back from the Quidditch pitch. Isabelle Stuart and Myles Ackerley were a permanent fixture near what James had thought was his friends' beech tree. The only thing on James' mind was Lily Evans and the fact that he wasn't walking around the lake with her.

* * *

"I don't think I'll be able to remember all of this," Lily threw down her quill on top of her half-completed number chart. "Honestly, how does anyone do well in this subject?"

Remus laughed, putting his own quill down less violently. "You did get an O on your Arithmancy O.W.L."

The two were in the Gryffindor Common Room studying for their winter Arithmancy exam next week.

"But this is Advanced Artithmancy," she sighed. "It's different." She looked up at him desperately and noticed a gash on Remus' forearm. "What happened?"

"Oh," he looked at his arm, trying desperately to cover the wound. "It's nothing… Care of Magical Creatures."

"Looks pretty nasty," she said, taking his wrist in her small white hand and looking closely at his arm. "Has Madam Pomfrey looked at it?"

He nodded quickly, pulling his arm away from her.

She looked confused by Remus' behavior, and continued on her chart. After a few seconds, she growled. "I am never going to understand this."

"Yes you will," he smiled. "I'll teach you how to study, since you've never had to before."

"I have too had to study," Lily said, offended.

"Alright," Remus smirked. "We'll pretend for a second that you aren't a complete genius who somehow absorbs everything in a lecture."

"I resent that," she said, picking her quill back up, and returning to the number chart in front of her.

He looked at her out of the corner of his big brown eyes, his eyebrows raised.

She giggled. "Fine then, Remus, teach me how to study."

"Alright" he smiled. "Well first you have to open this book." He reached down under the table and pulled out her Arithmancy book, flipping to the designated chapter. "And then, you read."

Lily laughed loudly. "Thanks," she said, smiling

"Hey Lily?" Remus asked after awhile.

"Yeah?" she looked up at him with bright emerald eyes.

Remus paused, their eyes locking for a second. Suddenly, he looked back at him notes. "Nevermind."

* * *

When the Advanced Arithmancy Exam finally rolled around, Lily was more nervous than perhaps at any other time in her life. She searched for Remus at the breakfast table, but couldn't find him anywhere. Figuring he must have been doing some extra studying, she ate her toast quickly, going over those tricky number patterns in her head for the fiftieth time. When the time came for the exam, she walked to the classroom, biting her lip the entire time. Dorcas gave her a quick smile from the back of the classroom. Remus still hadn't arrived. Lily looked at her watch and then at the classroom door. Where was he? Professor Vector shut the door and then passed out the exams. Remus still hadn't arrived. Lily raised her hand.

"What is it Miss Evans?" Professor Vector asked.

"Professor," she said, "I don't know if you noticed, but Remus isn't here."

"No, Miss Evans, I noticed. Work on your exam please, you have one hour."

Lily looked around her and then back at Dorcas who shrugged. Everyone was working on their exam. Finally she conceded and delved into Arithmancy, determined to find out where Remus had gone.

* * *

He returned three days later, two days before the end of term. The minute Lily saw him she noticed how pale and peaked he looked.

"Remus," she ran up to him as he entered the Gryffindor common room. "Where were you?"

He didn't answer and instead collapsed on the nearest couch. She sat next to him and studied his exhausted face. She looked around the common room. It was empty.

"Remus," she pleaded. "You missed the Arithmancy exam."

He looked into her eyes. Huge orbs of exhaustion and pain bored into her brain. "I'll make it up," he said.

"What is it?" she whispered, placing a supportive hand on his thin shoulder. She noticed a tear roll down his face. He rubbed at his face quickly.

"It's nothing," he muttered.

She scooted closer to him, wrapping a slender arm around his shoulders. "Remus," she said.

He looked away, staring instead at the glowing embers of the dying fire, and then closed his eyes tightly. His body was clenching up. Lily began to stroke his shoulder rhythmically.

"You can tell me, you know," she said softly. "Is it the attacks? Did you hear about the muggle massacre in Bath the other day, it scared me something awful…" She drifted off, her head turning to look at the floor. Then suddenly she burst back up, grabbing him by the shoulders. "Your family's alright, aren't they?" she asked manically.

He shook his head to dismiss the possibility. "It's not that. They're fine."

"Well then, what is it?" she asked, loosening but not releasing her grip on him. "It can't be that bad, Remus."

He chuckled sadly. "It might be."

She let go of him and they sat there for a few seconds, sitting so close that they were touching, and staring into the fireplace. Lily whispered, "I won't tell anyone, you know."

"Yeah," he nodded. "I know."

The silence permeated every corner of the room as they sat there for another long period of seconds. Remus wore a look of deep thought while Lily wore one of deep concern. She was just about to get up and go to bed when Remus sat up and looked directly at her.

"Do you really want to know?" he asked, a look of confused desperation on his face.

"If you want to tell me," she nodded, sitting up along with him.

He inhaled a huge amount of air, so huge that Lily thought he was going to hold his breath or something.

His face was screwed up, his eyes were tearing up. Lily placed a hand on his cheek in an attempt to comfort him. "What is it?" she asked.

"I'm a werewolf," he said in a low voice.

The surprise hit Lily like a ton of bricks and she took a breath. Then she did the only thing she could think of. She kissed him.


	7. Chapter 7

Neither Lily nor Remus told anyone about what had happened that night. Embarrassed about the entire situation, they side-stepped each other for the next two days, waiting desperately for Christmas vacation. When it finally did come, they all headed for home, thankful for two weeks of no school work. At the same time, the students all feared for their safety outside of Hogwarts. A much larger than average number of students had signed up to stay at school for the holidays. So far, no one had been killed while at school.

Sirius had, not surprisingly, gone home with James to Godric's Hollow. By the end of the two weeks, Sirius was ready to kill either James Potter or Lily Evans, or maybe both. Even with the news of three more attacks, one on Christmas day, James only wanted to talk about Evans. If he had to hear about "those green eyes" one more time, he was sure he would spill the contents of his stomach all over his best friend. Even Abigail Potter, James' mother, was beginning to make small comments hinting that James should move his interest to a different girl. When he returned to Hogwarts, Sirius had every intention of spending much more time with Moony and getting much more information from Dorcas Meadowes.

When they returned to school, however, Lupin was strangely withdrawn. He seemed awfully nervous around James and even more around Evans. Something was the matter.

"Yeah," Dorcas nodded. "They've been rather awkward in Arithmancy lately." She curled her long legs under her on the floor of the Gryffindor Common Room. She had spread notes from all off her classes all around and was organizing them. Sirius sat in an armchair near her. They were whispering since Lily was studying with Gwen near the fireplace.

"Do you know if anything has happened?" he asked, glancing over at Lily's bent head.

Dorcas shook her head, placing pieces of parchment in the Charms pile. "She was awfully concerned when he didn't show up for his Arithmancy Exam last term. Since then, they've been odd with each other."

"Odd how?" Sirius handed Dorcas an escaping paper he had caught with his foot.

They smiled at each other as she took it. "I don't know," she said. "They just seem really uncomfortable around each other. They're really polite and everything, but they don't really talk any more." She consolidated all of her piles into one. "I'm going to go read," she stood. "Good luck with your mystery."

"It's your mystery too, remember," Sirius said, smiling slightly.

Dorcas chuckled. "I guess it is." And with that she walked to the girl's stairs.

Sirius watched her walk away for a few seconds, considering whether he should just ask Lily what was going on with Remus. He stood; ready to do just this, when Remus entered through the portrait hole. He took one frightened look at Lily and immediately headed for the stairs. Deciding this was a better option, Sirius caught up with his friend at the base of the staircase.

"Hey Moony," he smiled. "How does a late night romp through the castle sound?"

Remus shook his head. "Naw, why don't the three of you go, I'm awfully tired."

"Tired?" Sirius asked as they reached the middle of the stairs. "Or do you just not want to hang out with James?"

"Why wouldn't I want to hang out with James?" he asked rather quickly.

Sirius shrugged. "I don't know. You just seem a little nervous around him lately."

Remus walked up the stairs faster and reaching the top he shrugged. "How am I nervous?"

"Just nervous mate," he clapped a hand on his thin shoulder. "Apparently the same way you're acting around Evans."

A look of pure terror crossed Remus' face and he grabbed Sirius' arm, pulling him into the dormitory. Remus' scared golden eyes scanned the room.

"Merlin Moony," Sirius laughed. "You're acting pretty nervous right now. You remind me of Georgiana Harl.."

"Who told you?" he snapped, eyes blazing.

"Told me what?" Sirius was beginning to really worry about what had happened to Moony. He placed a hand on his shoulder. "You okay, mate?"

"About Lily and me?" Remus demanded.

"Dorcas said you've just been odd around her. That's all." Sirius' forehead tightened in worry as he stared at his friend.

"Who told you?" he repeated, his face screwed up in an expression of anger and fear.

"Told me what?" Sirius shrugged. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

Remus sat down hard on his bed. Nervously, he pushed a thin piece of hair back, his eyes pleading with Sirius. "About her kissing me."

"WHAT?" Sirius exploded in surprise and then froze. "YOU KISSED HER?"

"NO!" Remus shook his head furiously. "She kissed me. It wasn't me. I told her about my "furry little problem" and she just………kissed me."

Sirius had absolutely no idea what to think. He sat on his bed, gaping. "James is going to kill you, mate," he said. Then, loyally, he added, "I'm going to kill you."

"Sirius," Remus was rubbing his forehead vigorously. "I didn't mean for it to happen. Honestly, I had no idea she was going to do that. I didn't want her to. She just did it."

Sirius looked hard at Remus, tortured soul that he was, and frowned. "You know I have to tell him."

Remus nodded sadly. "I figured you'd say that. I'll tell him myself. Just promise you'll be there when I do."

Sirius smiled slightly at the prospect of how James was going to react. He nodded curtly and rubbed his strong chin in disbelief. So, Dorcas Meadowes had been right.

* * *

Remus nervously ran his hands up and down his thighs as he waited for James to enter the dormitory with Sirius. Merlin, he had no idea how he was going to say this. Damn Sirius. His nerves finally forced him to stand and pace around the small room. He began imagining how he would give James this information. He'd have to preface it with the fact that he didn't have feelings for Lily; that he hadn't wanted this to happen. Oh shite, James was going to kill him. With that thought, he sat back down, playing with his hands to release the excess energy he was holding.

Suddenly the door opened and there was Sirius and James. Sirius with a somewhat apprehensive look on his face and James looking altogether confused. Remus stood immediately

"Alright, Moony?" he asked, his brow furrowed behind his glasses.

He glanced at Sirius who gestured for him to spill the beans.

"Before I say anything," he began slowly. "I need you to know that I never wanted this to happen. I never did anything to make it happen. It just sort of did."

"What?" James shrugged nonchalantly, sitting on his bed.

Remus continued. "So, the Wednesday before we left on holiday I had just come back from the shack, remember, you three had decided to romp through the forest some more."

James smiled, glancing over at Sirius standing next to his bed, and nodded.

"Well, I came back, and Lily was in the common room." Remus was wringing his hands now and biting his lip. "So, we started talking, you know, and she wanted to know why I had missed the Arithmancy exam."

James had perked up at the mention of Lily and was perched expectantly on the edge of his bed. Remus looked nervously at him and then at Sirius for support.

"So I told her."

"Did you tell her about the rest of us?" James pounced. "Does she know about the map?"

Remus shook his head.

James shrugged. "Then it doesn't really matter, does it? I mean, as long as Evans will keep quiet about it. That's your business if you want to tell her." Then smiling, he added, "actually, now I have something else to talk to her about. Thanks mate."

Remus had turned a faint shade of green. "There's more," he said, and exhaled.

James' face changed and he looked at Remus with his lips pouted in incomprehension.

"She…she…well…" Remus looked back to Sirius who shrugged at him. "She kissed me."

James immediately shot up and within seconds, had Remus pinned to the floor. Sirius grabbed him before the punches began. "Relax mate," he whispered.

"You bastard," James spit, his eyes filled with incalculable anger. "You know how I feel about her."

"I swear man," Remus stood slowly. "I didn't do anything. She kissed me."

"But you let it happen," James growled, fighting against Sirius' longer arms. "You didn't push her away and say; 'What about James?' did you?"

Remus backed up against the nearest bed, Peter's, and shook his head

"You complete arsehole!" he screamed. "You back-stabbing, betraying, disloyal bastard, how could you do that?"

Remus looked at Sirius for support, who was struggling to keep James restrained.

"It's not his fault, James," he said. "Evans kissed him, not the other way around."

James ignored him and glared at Remus like some angry animal.

"Let me go," he finally spat.

"You going to hit him?" Sirius asked.

"No," James said under his breath.

"Honestly?"

"Yeah," James nodded. Sirius let go of him and James roughly ran his hand through his black hair. The furious scowl seemingly immovable from his face, he stormed out of the dormitory.

* * *

"We need to talk," Lily approached Remus in the library. He had begun studying down there since he and James had stopped talking three days before.

He nodded in agreement.

An angry "SHHH," made Lily turn her head. Madam Pince was standing there shaking her head at them.

"Come on," Lily whispered. She waited as Remus gathered his things. When he had finished, she lead him to an empty classroom down the corridor.

"So," he smiled awkwardly, leaning against a desk. "Let me guess, this about that night before holidays?"

Lily chuckled uncomfortably. "Listen Remus, I don't know why I reacted like that. I mean, honestly, I never thought I would…. kiss you. It just sort of happened. And I felt awful afterwards." Then, she shook her head, "Not that anyone should feel awful after kissing you. It wasn't you. I just…I just shouldn't have done it."

Remus smiled and then nodded in complete understanding. "It did feel weird."

"Does Potter know?" she asked quietly.

Remus smiled, rather sarcastically. "Oh, he knows. He's not exactly happy with me right about now."

"I'm sorry Remus," she said, dropping her head. "I didn't mean for this to happen. I just wanted you to know that it was totally okay for you to be... what you are; that you're still a "really stand-up bloke." I couldn't think of any other way to convey that. I wish now that I could have."

"It's alright Lily," he said. "James will get over it. The only thing I'm worried about is whether or not this will make things permanently awkward between us."

"I really hope not," Lily bit her lip. "I really like talking to you, Remus, I don't want anything to change, and it won't unless… you do."

He shook his head. "Not at all."

Lily broke out into a real smile, pink gums and all.


	8. Chapter 8

James Potter was furious, so furious that even hexing Snape wasn't giving him the sick pleasure he used to. He had used a bat-bogey hex the day before; a good one too. Sirius had laughed heartily and James had chuckled a bit, but then Evans had walked by, glaring at him. That removed any enjoyment the action would normally have brought. He had noticed that Moony was back in her good graces and the two of them spent an alarming amount of time in class talking. How could Evans do that? Shouldn't she be taking notes?  
This was exactly the thought that was going through his head in the middle of his latest Defense Against the Dark Arts class. Yes, the class was a bit of a joke, but Evans and Remus were unbelievably chatty.

James nudged Sirius. "They sure are talking a lot," he whispered harshly.

Sirius shrugged. "I guess so, but, you know, they are friends, and since you're not speaking to him…"

"Shut up Padfoot."

Sirius was supposed to be on his side. This whole situation was completely wrong. Remus Lupin was supposed to be sitting in front of him, next to Peter, taking extensive notes that James could copy later and occasionally telling him and Sirius to shut up. The idea of him chatting up Lily Evans in the middle of class made him fume. It just wasn't right. He should be chatting up Lily Evans; she should be laughing at his jokes, not Remus Lupin's.

Next to him, Sirius was winking at Professor Arden again. She noticed and, batting her long false lashes, sighed and went back to the lesson. Stupid Sirius, he couldn't pay attention to anything for longer than twenty seconds, well excluding his libido. Now annoyed with his friend, James leaned his chin against his fist, glaring at Remus.

After a few seconds, he felt Sirius nudge him.

"What?" he snapped quietly.

"Snivellus," Sirius gestured with his head. "He's practically drooling."

Sirius was right. Snape was completely engrossed in the back of Lily Evans' head. It was disgusting, really. James watched the scene for awhile. Eventually Remus caught a glance of Snape and whispered something to Lily. She turned around slowly, caught Snape, and smiled slightly at him. He immediately bent low over his notes, trying desperately to keep people from noticing him.

But the class did notice, especially James. Something about the smile Lily had given Snape made James crack. He was suddenly so angry he had to do something about it. Whipping out his wand and pointing it at Snivellus, James thought "levicorpus" very hard.

Snape suddenly rose into the air and began scrambling for his wand. James flipped his wrist and Snape flipped upside down, his wand tumbling out of his pocket. Experience had taught Severus to use his arms to hold his robes up over his legs. "Leave me alone, Potter," he sneered.

"Mr. Potter," Professor Arden looked terrified. "Please put Mr. Snape down."

"Not until I tell him a thing or two," James stood, angrily walking forward so that he was directly in Snape's view.

"Mr. Po…"

"What are you thinking staring at Evans?" he interrupted the professor. "I can't even imagine the sick thoughts running through your head, the disgusting wank-fests you've had. Do you honestly think that she would ever even consider you?" James said viciously. "That you are worth even a fraction of her? You don't even deserve to breathe the same air, let alone stare holes into the back of her head."

The entire class was watching the scene. A few looked concerned that Snape might fall on top of them and had moved to the side of the room. Lily, Remus, and Sirius had stood immediately. Lily looked absolutely furious. Peter watched with vested interest, obviously happy to be on James' side in this little tussle.

"Mr. Pot.." Professor Arden tried again, louder this time.

"Why would I stare at a little mudblood like her?" Snape spat. James heard Evan Rosier laugh behind him. Turning on his heel, he pointed his wand menacingly at the dark-haired Slytherin, and Snape dropped.

"Don't you dare laugh at that, Rosier," he growled.

"Or what Potter?" Rosier didn't look concerned at all. Victoria Avery sat next to him with a similar look on her face. "Soon you and your blood traitor family won't mean a damn thing."

Now Sirius turned on Rosier, turning his back on Snape. "Save your damn blood talk for the rest of your filthy kind, or I will kill you."

"That filthy kind happens to be the rest of your family, Black," Rosier sneered. "How do you think they would feel knowing that you're standing here defending a mudblood?"

"I could bloody well care less," Sirius said through his teeth, extending his wand farther towards Rosier.

"Mr. Bl…"

"Oy Prongs," Remus yelled.

James turned quickly to see that Snape had fallen and recovered. He was now standing with his wand raised to Potter. Remus had obviously interrupted some spell.

"Expelliarmus," James yelled, and Snape's wand flew towards him. He caught it easily.

"MR. POTTER! MR. BLACK! MR. SNAPE! MR. ROSIER!" the four boys looked to the front of the classroom. McGonagall stood there, looking terrifyingly furious. "MY OFFICE! NOW!"

Professor Arden stood there sheepishly, whispering her thanks as McGonagall rolled her eyes.

* * *

James had received detention every night for the next two weeks, Sirius had received four nights, Snape three, and Rosier four. Ten nights of detention seemed a little excessive to James, but he had taken the punishment with as much bravado as he could. He had to clean out the broom cupboards for Filch, but with Sirius' two-way mirror the task went somewhat quicker.

"Did you see what Remus did?" he asked one night while brushing out cobwebs.

Sirius had nodded.

"Do you think I should forgive him?"

Sirius had shrugged. "He did snog the girl you fancy."

"Yeah, he did."

"Of course, he did help out with the Snivelly situation."

"Yeah, he did."

* * *

After his fourth detention, an awfully exhausted James had climbed the stairs to Griffindor tower. Covered in dust, he climbed through the portrait hole and immediately faced a very angry Lily Evans.

"HOW DARE YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?" she bellowed. Obviously, she had been waiting for him.

"Come on Evans," he shrugged. "Do you want Snivellus staring at you?"

"I really don't care if he stares at me," she threw back. "And that had absolutely nothing to do with me; it was all about you showing off."

"Actually Evans," he ruffled his hair. "It had everything to do with you."

She narrowed her eyes. "I don't believe you Potter," she said.

He raised his eyebrows at her.

"You are so horrible," She shook her head. "I can't believe you would pull a stunt like that in the middle of class."

"I was hardly interrupting anything."

"That is NOT the point," she said, her face almost twitching in to a smile. "I can take care of myself, you know. I don't need or want you showing up to fight all my battles for me Potter. Besides, Snape is harmless. He would never do anything but stare."

"He shouldn't be staring at you," James said

"Why not Potter?" she marched up closer to him. "Do you have dibs on that particular action?"

"He doesn't deserve to look at you," he spit.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Do you get to decide who gets to look at me, Potter? And you want me to go out with you." She scoffed.

"He's a dirty arsehole who is up to his neck in the Dark Arts. He should look at the floor when you walk in a room."

Lily paused, looking away from James for a second. "He was only looking at me, Potter, that's no reason to hex him. You just wanted to show off, you arrogant bully."

"Come on Evans…"

She went on. "And who do you think you are? Almost pummeling Remus because _I_ kissed him? Honestly, Potter, you think that the only thing in this world that matters is whether or not you get what you want. Have you ever once thought about someone besides yourself?"

"That's not fair," he said quickly, his emotions coming to the surface. Then covering it up with a smooth smile, he added, "I am not responsible for my actions when you are involved."

Lily made a sound that conveyed her utter disgust at this comment. "Is that supposed to make me want to date you? Honestly."

"Well what then, you're going to date Moony now?" he asked, trying to sound like he didn't care.

Lily scowled. "No," she said. "I don't have any romantic feelings for him. What happened before the holiday was just me getting carried away. Remus Lupin and I are not, and will not soon be, dating."

She said the last word with a finality that James could only respond to with a quick "well… good."

"I'm going to bed," she sighed, turning on her heel. She looked him up and down, crinkling her nose at the cobwebs in his already mussed hair. "And I would recommend showering tonight before you go to bed."

James rubbed his head and sighed.

* * *

Sirius glanced out the window as Professor Flitwick demonstrated a Confundus Charm for about the fiftieth time. He and James had, of course, gotten it right the first time and now had to wait for the rest of the class to catch up. He saw Julia Connors out of the corner of his eye, concentrating on Muriel McKinnon very hard. A part of him felt a little guilty about what he had done. A very small part. Lily and Dorcas were sitting near the front of the classroom. Since they too had already mastered the Charm, they were chatting animatedly. He smiled slightly at Dorcas, hopeful that she was getting some good information. She caught his glance and with calm, welcoming almond-shaped eyes, kept it for a few seconds. She smiled her close-mouthed grin and went back to chatting with Lily.

Suddenly a small boy entered the classroom.

"Professor," he said, holding out a piece of parchment. "I'm supposed to give you this. It's from the headmaster."

"Thank you," Professor Flitwick jumped from his desk to the floor. He walked, or rather waddled, to the boy. He took the note and the boy left immediately. A look of shock and horror crossed the small man's face as he read the note. "Class dismissed." he said, without looking up. "Miss Connors, if you could please remain."

The rest of the class all turned their heads to look at Julia, who had a look of utter terror in her blue eyes. Everyone knew what a note like this would mean, and Flitwick was her head of house.

"Class Dismissed." He repeated.

The class slowly and silently gathered their things and began filtering out. Sirius and James were some of the last to leave. As they exited the classroom, Sirius caught sight of Dorcas' head sticking out from the small crowd leaving the room. He wondered if she had the same sick feeling of shame in her stomach.


	9. Chapter 9

* * *

"Padfoot," Remus asked one morning as the Gryffindor boys were getting ready. "Have you seen my blue jumper?" He had pulled everything out of his trunk and was rifling through it for a fourth time in his tee-shirt.

Sirius shook his head. "Did you lose it last time you went up to the shack?"

Remus frowned. "No."

"Is this it?" James asked, holding up a navy blue article of clothing.

Remus looked at James strangely. This was the first time he had acknowledged him since the Evans incident. He nodded.

James smirked and threw the jumper at him. Remus caught it and pulled it on.

"Must've ended up with my stuff in the laundry," he shrugged.

* * *

With Remus and James on good terms again, Sirius had suggested a good old-fashioned prank. It had to be a big one; one that would announce the reunion of the marauders. For once, Remus actually actively participated in the planning stages.

"It's got to be something huge," James said.

"Monumental," Sirius had drawled. "Victim?"

"Snivelly?"

Sirius shook his head. "Too obvious, this has to surprise the snot out of everyone."

"We should lay off of the Ravenclaws for awhile," James Potter did have a little bit of propriety.

"We've done the Hufflepuffs too much," Sirius said, shrugging. "It's like taking candy from a baby."

"We could decorate the Slytherin common room in red and gold again," James suggested.

They looked at each other and in synchronization, shook their heads.

"How about McGonagall?" Remus laughed at his own joke. "Can you imagine that? Charming her chair to cheer for the marauders whenever she sits in it?"

James and Sirius exchanged glances, mischievous looks in their eyes.

"Not bad Moony," James smiled at Remus and slapped him on the back.

"You're not seriously considering that?" Remus gaped. "McGonagall would murder us."

"I know," said Sirius. "That's why we do it to Dumbledore. In the Great Hall. At breakfast."

Peter smiled broadly. "That's genius."

"I know Wormtail," Sirius said in a rather bored tone. "I am a genius."

"Ok then," James smiled. "We do it tonight."

* * *

The charm was a rather easy one. James would perform it, although Sirius had written the actual cheer. The four boys snuck out after midnight, attempting to all fit under James' invisibility cloak. With Sirius' large frame, James and Remus' long limbs, and Peter's width, it was a rather difficult task. Twice Peter had tripped on the cloak, causing it to fly off of the other boys.

"Next time you do that, you're going back," Sirius had grunted.

Reaching the Great Hall, they eased open the huge door. They nervously looked around the large room and, when they were sure it was empty, James threw the cloak off of them. Picking it up, he hurried to the front of the hall between the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables, his wand out and ready. Sirius was next to him with Peter biting at his heels. Remus walked more slowly behind, a slight smile on his face. The ceiling was pitch black; the occasional star blinking softly. When they reached the headmaster's chair, Sirius immediately sat on it.

"Do I look like a headmaster?" he asked, trying to look smart, but instead looking rather constipated.

"Not quite," James laughed. "You look like you're on a totally different kind of throne. Now get off so I can do this charm."

Sirius hopped off lazily.

James muttered "Dirai Enthusium," and flicked his wand. Then he looked back at the other three, "say the cheer."

Sirius whispered the cheer to the chair so quietly that Remus and Peter couldn't hear him. When he had finished, James was trying hard not to laugh.

"Come on," he whispered. They all huddled back under the cloak and began the trek back to Gryffindor Tower.

* * *

The next morning, the four Marauders sat with each other for the first time in weeks. The other Gryffindors, especially Lily, took notice. There was, however, a general murmur of fear about the next prank they would pull. When Dumbledore arrived for breakfast, he wore an unreadable smile, and when he sat down, he did it so deliberately that Professor McGonagall looked strangely at him. Immediately, the sound of a gaggle of rather excited prepubescent girls began chanting.

"Prongs, Padfoot, Moony, Wormtail"

"Prongs, Padfoot, Moony, Wormtail"

This background continued and an even higher pitched voice began with a verse. Students all through the Great Hall had spit up orange juice, shot milk through their noses, or dropped their breakfast in pleasant surprise when they heard the chant begin. One 2nd year Hufflepuff had even fallen off of her chair.

"Guided by our leader Prongs,

We succeed and do no wrongs.

With Padfoot and his manly charm,

We have a bird on every arm.

Moony keeps us all in check,

In case one should break a neck

And with our mate Wormtail,

How could we ever fail?

For the fittest blokes in 6th year

Yell, scream, faint, and give a cheer"

The chant continued.

"Prongs, Padfoot, Moony, Wormtail."

By now, the entire Great Hall had erupted in laughter. Dumbledore stood, the strange smile still on his face. "Would Messrs Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew please follow me to my office?"

James and Sirius smiled at each other. They were back.

* * *

The Marauders had little time to celebrate their triumphant return. By the end of the week, another attack had occurred; this one on Gwendolyn Abercrombie's cousins. Gwendolyn had been taken from school immediately, without a word to any of her classmates. Since her departure, Gryffindor tower had been struck with an intense, deafening silence. For two straight days, none of them, not even Sirius Black, had so much as cracked a joke. On the third day, the vast majority of the house was sitting silently in the common room. A few were studying, but most were simply gazing off into space, deep frowns etched into their young faces. Owen Towler, the only other Gryffindor who had experienced the violence of You-Know-Who, was sitting in the corner, his head in his hands. Annabelle Idle, his girlfriend, was instinctively rubbing his back and looking as if she had absolutely no idea what to say to comfort him. James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were sitting in the opposite corner, observing the scene.

It was almost more disturbing than the violence itself: that the usually lively, happy, and loud Gryffindors could be turned sad, scared, and silent by one man's rampage. Even Dorcas Meadowes wore a face that betrayed her complete uncertainty. James glanced at Lily, who was sitting near Dorcas. She was one of the few with a book open, but her green eyes had been fixed on the same spot in the Potions text for a long time. After a while, she closed the book on her lap and sighed. James watched her bosom rise and fall in exhaustion and incomprehension and a part of his heart began to ache. Next to him, Remus put a palm to his face, leaning on the table, and Sirius' usual lounge was instead a slumped sitting position with elbows on knees. It was Peter's face that scared him the most, though. He was looking anxiously from Sirius to James, as if one of them had the power to suddenly tell him that the entire thing was one of their huge pranks.

Was this the way James and his friends were going to live their lives? In constant fear of some madman?

James stood up, suddenly taken over by something bigger than himself. "Hey," he said to get everyone's attention. "I think it's about time we all cheer up."

There were a few gasps in the room. Some people obviously found the comment awfully offensive.

James swallowed hard and continued. "Gwen's not going to want to come back to a bunch of zombies. Besides, shouldn't we be able to go on with our lives after these things happen?"

More people had perked up, and now the entirety of the common room was staring at James. The crowd seemed split on his comments, deep angry frowns and big eyes filled with interest at what James was saying were equally represented.

"Listen," he relaxed his shoulders. "If what people are saying is true, then this is going to keep happening for awhile. Do you really want to live like this? We have to try to be as normal as possible or we'll be giving You-Know-Who even more power."

James was now hitting his stride. He filled with an intense determination to convince his classmates. "We can't give him that power. He might be able to kill our friends and loved ones, but he can't control our ability to be happy. We have to at least try to be happy. That's the only way we'll be able to fight him. If we're not resilient, we're done for.

"Listen. I know we're young. I'm barely 16, but we're the ones who are going to be fighting him, don't you see that? It's our lives that are going to be most affected by this. We can't let that happen. We deserve a normal a life as possible, and if we have to fight for it, we have to fight for it. I'm not willing to live this way, and you shouldn't be either."

With that, he sat down. A few people, including Owen Towler whose face had morphed through every imaginable emotion during James' impromptu speech, clapped enthusiastically. Others looked awfully angry and stormed off to bed. The majority of the students, however, just looked shocked. James looked anxiously at Lily. She'd probably think it was just another instance of him showing off. And she probably thought he was being insensitive.

Lily had been enthralled through James' speech. He was completely right and it was so brave of him to just stand up in the middle of the common room and say all those things. She'd noticed how his hazel eyes had sparkled with passion when he talked about fighting You-Know-Who. When he had finished, she turned to Dorcas, green eyes burning with a million emotions.

"That was rather impressive, wouldn't you say?"

Dorcas smiled and nodded.

With that, Lily Evans turned her head and, for the very first time, gave James Potter a real, sincere smile.


	10. Chapter 10

Since their confrontation in Defense Against the Dark Arts, James Potter and Severus Snape had had little more interaction than the occasional dirty look. Between all the gossip about his rant in the common room and his own over-analysis of Lily's smile after his speech, Potter had been too busy to even notice Snape. Sirius was aching to pull something, but everyone knew that Sirius Black never did anything without James Potter.

While the boys had given up any thought of the incident, it still was fresh in Lily's mind. Perhaps it was because she had so much more contact with Snape than they did. He was in both Potions and Arithmancy with her and, at least in those classes, had been staring at her more than ever.

She glanced over her shoulder in Arithmancy one day. Sure enough, his black eyes were fixated on her. Remus followed her glance, and pursed his lips when he saw Snape.

"Rather intense," he whispered.

Lily nodded without turning around. Snape hadn't even dropped his head. He was holding the eye-contact and scowling angrily. Lily looked away quickly.

* * *

"Still thinking about Lily's grin, Prongs?" Sirius nudged James as they made to their way to Charms.

James glared at Sirius' smirk.

"All I can say is that when a girl grins at you like that, she wants to do a lot more grinning…if you know what I mean."

James punched Sirius lightly on the shoulder. Remus rolled his eyes at this far too typical situation.

"I'm glad to see she's finally warming up to you, mate," Sirius continued. He had been annoyingly happy in the days following James' now widely-known speech. "Now I won't have to worry about what was going to happen when she finally realized that she wanted to shag me."

The introduction of this topic caused Remus to suddenly grow rather nervous. He tried to be as invisible to James as possible. James, however, immediately turned on Sirius. "Take that back," he said, his wand pointed at Sirius' neck.

Sirius took a step backward and then chuckled at the anger in his best friend's eyes. James lowered his wand and stood down a little

"Relax mate," he said. "We all know that Evans is not going to be shagging me. Or the other way around. I'm not as stupid as old Moony over here."

Remus silently damned Sirius, but instead forced a rather awkward laugh as the tall boy threw one arm around his neck.

James did not look amused.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Come on mate," he said; releasing Remus from the death grip as they began walking again. "Evans will eventually go out with you. She'd be a total idiot not to. Honestly, if I was a bird…"

"I'd rather not think of you as a bird," James said flatly.

"Would it cheer you up?" Sirius asked, obviously getting awfully tired of this pensive James.

James didn't answer.

Sirius scowled and glanced at Remus. "Any ideas?"

Remus, still rather annoyed with Sirius, shook his head quickly. Letting out a loud stream of air, Sirius looked around the corridor, obviously unimpressed with what he saw. He frowned as a few Hufflepuff third years walked by. When Brigid Davies passed, he ran a hand through his hair. She smiled and he smirked back lazily.

As if on cue, Dorcas Meadowes popped out of the girls' loo just as the four boys were passing.

"Meadowes," Sirius acknowledged her with a small nod. "Off to Charms?"

"Well," she smiled slightly, joining the boys. "I don't have much of a choice now, do I? You might just tell Flitwick I've been skiving if I don't go now."

"Don't want you to get behind in your studies now, do we?" he retorted.

Dorcas' mysterious smile grew. "You seem to be doing fairly well in Transfiguration for never coming."

"Well," he said, shrugging and tilting his head slightly towards Dorcas. "That class is a complete lark. No challenge whatsoever."

"Is anything a challenge for you, Sirius Black?" She pouted a bit, her lips slightly parting.

Sirius' tongue flicked over his bottom lip, his gray eyes challenging the brown ones next to him. "Guess not."

Dorcas raised her eyebrows slightly, smirked, and turned her attention to James. "Alright Potter?"

"Sure," he shrugged.

"James has been in a bit of a haze lately," Sirius said, mocking a whisper. "I think it has something to do with a certain red-haired person."

"Does good news have a tendency to do that?" Dorcas was speaking to Sirius, but still looking at James.

"Apparently," Remus joined in.

"She did say it was "rather impressive," you know."

James turned and looked at Dorcas. His suddenly excited hazel eyes were aligned with her perfectly tranquil brown ones. "Honestly?"

Dorcas nodded. "Did you think that a smile like that meant she hated it?"

"It's just never happened before," he said, rather sheepishly. And then in a louder, anxious voice, "She really thought it was…impressive?"

Dorcas smiled slightly and acknowledged that that was indeed what Lily had said.

James' face turned on a dime. Dorcas Meadowes had just given him the best gift he'd ever received. Suddenly on cloud nine, James had an immense urge to broadcast it to the entire world. Luckily for him, a skinny hunched figure with lanky black hair and small black eyes had just turned the corner.

"Snivellus," he said loudly. Sirius was wrought with anticipation, completely looking forward to whatever was coming.

Snape looked up at James and, oddly, didn't scowl. In fact, he smiled in a crafty way. Pulling out his wand, he faced Potter, who immediately cried, "Expelliarmus."

Snape's wand flew to James, but Snape looked completely unfazed.

"Ready for Charms?" James asked, smirking. He hit Snape with a babbling curse.

"You think you're so clever Potter," he began the expected rant. "Just wait, wait until you see first-hand what kind of power I have." Sirius and James were looking awfully bored. The babbling curses always started out this way. "You'll be regretting every single thing you ever did to me. Just wait until I prove to you that I am not only your equal, but your superior. You have no idea what I am capable of." Sirius scoffed loudly at this and the mumbled words, 'taking a shower?' were heard by a few students. Peter laughed loudly, James chuckled, Remus slumped against the castle wall, and Dorcas, characteristically, wore that semi-amused look.

"You won't even have to wait too long," Snape continued. "Everything will be ready by tom…." Suddenly he clamped his hands over his mouth. Snape kept talking, but his hands mumbled the words so that they were incomprehensible.

Sirius and James smiled at each other. This was the reason they used the babbling curse.

"Come on Snivelly," Sirius said, shaking his head. "You know you can't do that."

"Incarcerous," yelled James. Ropes snaked out of his wand, wrapped around Snape's wrists, and yanked his arms behind his back.

"You don't deserve her either," Snape's face was contorted with fear. "And I'm the one who found a way to get her. In a few days…."

But no one heard what was going to happen in a few days, because the commotion had reached Flitwick's comprehension. He burst through the door, pushing at student's knees to let him through. He performed both the counter-curse to the binding spell and to the babbling curse. Snape fell to he floor when he was released, rubbing his wrists where the ropes had cut in to him.

"Boys," Fitwick squeaked. "If you could step into my office, please…."

Frowning and shrugging, James and Sirius loafed into the empty room, followed by a rather twitchy Snape.

* * *

"So," Dorcas said a few days later in the middle of potions. "Do you mind if I ask about your feelings regarding a certain fellow?"

Lily rolled her eyes. For days now, Dorcas had been prying like a master. Ever since she had smiled at Potter, the other Gryffindor 6th year seemed convinced that Lily had completely changed her tune about James Potter.

"Not much has changed Dorcas," she said, exasperated. "He's still an arrogant git who absolutely no regard for other peoples' feelings. That being said, what he said was rather surprising. But we always knew Potter was intelligent and a bit of an attention-whore. My opinion of him has not changed."

Dorcas smiled smugly, turning back to her smoking cauldron and slowly adding her beetle eyes. The potion turned a bright magenta. It smelled a little like oranges.

"It's true," Lily continued when Dorcas didn't really accept her explanation, getting more and more passionate as she continued. "Potter went and hexed Snape for no reason only three days after his foray into maturity. He's still just a big bully. Sure, he's clever and charismatic and passionate and att…" Lily stopped halfway through a word. Dorcas turned and gave her a strange look. Recovering quickly, she continued, "see the point is that James Potter has not changed at all. He is still the same toe-rag he always was and therefore, I can not change my opinion of him."

"Alright," Dorcas smiled.

"You don't believe me, do you?" Lily's eyes were raging.

Dorcas looked back to her potion. "No, I believe you," she said in a rather disbelieving tone.

"Dorcas," Lily said louder, her hands now waving desperately. "It's true. I despise James Potter. He is a bottom crawler, a bastard completely devoid of any integrity, and no speech he makes is going to change that."

Dorcas just looked at her, a completely unruffled face. "Better watch your Hiccupping Solution."

Lily scowled at Dorcas and then turned to the cauldron in front of her. It was now billowing smoke.

"Bollocks," she yelled.

"Miss Evans," Professor Slughorn chuckled at his favorite student.

Lily was frantically pushing away the smoke pouring from her potion to try to get the beetle eyes in to her cauldron. The smoke caught in her throat and she coughed hard. Backing away from the desk, she recovered, but almost immediately began hiccupping violently.

"Oh Miss Evans," Slughorn exclaimed. "You must have inhaled some of your potion. Could someone please get Miss Evans a glass of water?"

Before anyone could move, Snape shot up and hurried to the sink. With his back to the rest of the class, he filled a glass with water. He walked quickly to Lily, who was now sitting down in response to the intensity of the action in her throat. Snape handed her the glass, clutched in his pale, bony hand. She took it without looking up and drained it.

"Alright?" Dorcas asked.

Lily nodded and looked up. Then she smiled broadly and said sweetly, "Thank you Severus."


	11. Chapter 11

Snape's love potion scheme didn't work exactly the way he had planned. Potions had ended minutes after he had given Lily the Amortentia-spiked water. Sadly for Snape, Lily's behavior was so ridiculous that everyone noticed right away that something was wrong. On the way out of class, Lily had sprinted to Snape's side, clutching a skinny arm tightly and blinking in to his eyes. She had even, to everyone's horror, run a small hand through the lank, greasy locks that fell to Snape's shoulders, whispering "I love you Sevvy," over and over. Snape, while excited, had also seemed undoubtedly uncomfortable, smiling awkwardly as she gazed into his eyes. The climax had come when, about twenty steps from the dungeon door, Lily had grabbed Severus by the shoulders and pressed her lips against his violently. Snape's lips remained pursed in utter surprise while Lily's were open and enthusiastic. The scene was rather disturbing and Dorcas, walking a few steps behind Lily, had grabbed her arm.

"Lily," she said. "I think you left your quill back in the classroom. Why don't we go get it?"

"I can get another quill," Lily said breathlessly while staring seductively at Snape.

"But that was your best one," Dorcas continued, looking accusingly from Snape to Lily. "Your mum gave it to you, remember?"

"It's just a quill," she said quietly, leaning in closer to Snape and throwing her arms about him.

Dorcas looked at Snape, her eyebrows raised and a look of 'so what now?' on her face. He scowled back angrily, though obviously contemplating things. While he stood there, Lily grabbed his face and kissed him again. A few Ravenclaws, including Cade Bradley and Muriel McKinnon, watched judgmentally as they passed. Evan Rosier let out a "Way to go, Greaseball. You snog that mudblood," as he passed with an arm draped over a smirking Victoria Avery.

Lily didn't even register the insult; she was so enthralled by Severus. Snape looked at Rosier and laughed, weakly.

"Come on Sevvy," Lily bit her lip seductively. "Let's go somewhere more private." With this comment, she glared at Dorcas out of the corner of her eye.

Snape looked horribly conflicted. Dorcas stood there watching him, waiting for him to make a decision. He watched Lily rubbing his chest appreciatively, looking up at him with green eyes glazed over with lust.

Dirk Montague whistled and winked sarcastically at Snape as he passed, and immediately burst into laughter with Adrian Pritchard. Snape glowered, his lip twitching, and hunched over a little. He glanced at the two Slytherins through his eyebrows and then looked at Lily in all of her ridiculousness. Snape looked completely defeated. He scowled, acutely aware of all the humiliating attention he was getting for this little stunt.

"Sevvy?" Lily asked, running her finger down the side of Snape's cheek.

"Come on," he said, taking Lily roughly by the hand and leading her back to the Potions room.

* * *

"I can't believe I kissed him," Lily scowled. "Twice."

"It was awfully disturbing," Dorcas chuckled slightly. "You and Sevvy were awfully cozy."

Lily made a face. "Oh Merlin, I called him Sevvy too! I am never going to live this down."

Dorcas smiled. "It will be a topic of interested conversation for quite a while, I'd say."

The two girls had gone directly to the Gryffindor Common Room after Slughorn had administered the antidote to Lily. Charms would have to be put on hold for a day. They were on the couch, Lily sitting slouched and Dorcas curled up, her legs under her.

"Can you imagine what's going to happen when Potter finds out?" she asked, exhaling loudly.

Dorcas broke out into an actual laugh. "I think it will definitely be something I'll have to watch."

Lily laughed too, releasing some of the tension in her body.

* * *

"SNAPE!" James screamed as the figure rounded the corner. "STUPEFY!" he yelled, but the red light hit the wall instead.

"Sectumsempra," he heard bellowed in his direction. He jumped as a cut appeared on the back of his right hand.

"Damnit Snivellus," James yelled. "You're going to pay for this."

He continued running after the boy, turned the corner and found himself in a bit of a crowd. "Petrificus Totalus!" he yelled again at Snape's back. Snape froze and fell to the ground face down. A few students stepped away from the person now lying at their feet. James walked up to him, arrogantly wiping his forehead with the back of his hand and then fluffing up the back of his hair.

"You bloody little fink," he snarled. "Who the hell do you think you are? Doing something like that to Evans. Remember, I told you that you weren't even worth a fraction of her. You're a disgusting little rat."

"STOP IT," James looked up from the back of Snape's immobile head. Lily Evans had emerged from the, now growing, crowd. "I can fight my own battles, Potter."

"But he… Evans…."

"Shut up Potter," she fumed, walking closer to him. "It doesn't matter what he did, you still have no right to attack him like that."

"But he's such a …he's so," James was shaking with rage.

"You're not much better," she said.

James' mouth shrunk into a line. "Come on Evans…"

"I can take care of myself, Potter," she spat. "Try to remember that next time."

"But he...Think of what he might have done," James gaped

"He didn't, did he?" Lily rolled her eyes.

"Only because other people were there," he said.

Lily stood up a little straighter. "Well, next time no one else comes to Potions, I'll be sure not to drink anything he gives me. Now let him up"

James was silent. He looked back at Snape and then back at Lily. She gestured sarcastically for him to release Snape. He did so reluctantly, flicking his hands upwards. When the curse was lifted, Snape was writhing on the floor. Immediately he pulled himself to his feet, scowling.

"I don't know why you have such a hard time getting her, Potter," he spit. "She's a rather easy little mudblood. She's was all over me, it was rather disgusting."

"PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!" James bellowed, and Snape returned to his previous position, through he was angled a little differently. "NEVER TALK TO EVANS THAT WAY, SNIVELLUS! I WILL HEX EACH AND EVERY APPENDAGE OFF OF YOUR BODY. EVERY APENDGAE!"

"HONESTLY POTTER!" Lily yelled, "I was going to deal with that myself, you bloody show off." And with that, she stormed off.

* * *

"What does James have to do for detention?" Dorcas sat down on the top of the large desk and faced the front of the empty classroom on the 4th floor. Sirius was propped up against the wall she was facing, his hands on his hips.

"He's cleaning up after the firecrabs for Professor Kettleburn," Sirius said, making a face.

"Lovely," Dorcas said, leaning forward slightly. "So what did you want?" Sirius had grabbed her in the hall as she was just about to enter Griffindor Tower. She hoped no one had seen them rushing to an abandoned classroom. Sirius had kept her reputation intact. She didn't want him to inadvertently ruin it now.

"I need information," he smirked, that playful look back in his gray eyes.

"About Lily?" Dorcas asked, now leaning in the opposite direction and supporting herself with her arms.

"Yes," Sirius rolled his eyes. "About Lily."

"This whole idea was really stupid, you know," Dorcas drawled. "I don't have any information."

"Why are you being such a bitch about this, Meadowes?" he asked, shifting his weight angrily. "We had a deal."

"I know," she said, a bit of anger invading her voice. "Don't call me a bitch, by the way."

Sirius stood up straight and walked closer to her, placing his hands on the desk on either side of her hips and leaning right into her face. "I'll call you anything I want, you owe me."

"Don't you have just the tiniest amount of guilt about Julia?" Dorcas asked, staring him coldly in the face and not looking particularly scared considering that a rather tall, strong teenage boy was in the perfect position to pounce on her. "Especially after what happened?"

Sirius stood up straight and frowned. "That wasn't our fault."

"I know," she shrugged. "But I do wish we hadn't made her life horrible before it happened. Don't you?"

Sirius scuffled around restlessly, moving his feet, and scratching the back of his head. "Yeah," he conceded.

There was an awkward silence for a few seconds as they each searched for a way out of the Julia topic.

"_Too Fresh a wound,"_ Sirius thought.

"You still have to give me dirt on Evans," Sirius said, leaning back against the wall. "How did she really feel about the speech? I know you were lying to James."

Dorcas shook her head. "No, I wasn't. She did say it was impressive. She also said that we all knew James was obsessed with attention."

"Well, he is," Sirius shrugged.

Dorcas smiled oddly at him, and went on, "But you should have been watching her when he was speaking, she was absolutely mesmerized by him." Dorcas chuckled. "She called it his "foray into maturity'."

"So nothing's changed," Sirius said, pushing his hair out of his face.

"Well, I don't know" Dorcas raised her eyebrows. "I think she almost called him attractive the other day in Potions. Well, before she found Sevvy so alluring."

Sirius perked up. "Well that's a start, isn't it?"

"I'd say so," Dorcas nodded.

"So all we need now is another attack, so James can give another speech," Sirius smirked.

"You'd better be joking"

"I am, don't worry."

* * *

"Alright there, Prongs," Sirius asked. He was really beginning to hate this term. James was brooding again.

"I just don't see why he would do such a despicable thing," James said without looking up from the Defense Against the Dark Arts book he was not reading.

"He's Snivellus," Sirius said, as if that was evidence enough.

"But this was...it crossed some line," James looked up.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Love potions are pretty popular, James. Every girl I know has used one at one time or another."

"But Snape with Evans?" James had a truly concerned look on his face. "Can you imagine the perverted things he might have done with her if the scheme had worked?"

"James..." Remus said. "It wasn't going to work. He was just trying to look cool."

"Too bad it backfired," Sirius smirked.

"Horribly," Peter laughed.

"I just want to know that he'll never do anything like that again," James shrugged. "I mean, Evans, well...she's..."

"Yeah James," Sirius clapped his friend on the back and rolled his eyes. "We know, she's 'special'."

"Shut up Sirius," James blushed a bit.

"Oh look Moony," Sirius said in mock concern. "Our little Prongsie is in love."

"And that's news?"

James looked awfully tense with his furrowed brow and pursed lips. He was messing his hair up again, but not in the arrogant way he usually did. Instead it was a sort of nervous twitch. Sirius observed his friend and could tell exactly how much James really did care for Lily Evans. It wasn't as if Sirius didn't already know, but James was wearing his true feelings (minus the ego) on his face. It was at that moment that Sirius felt a deep protective streak flare up. He would take care of Severus.


	12. Chapter 12

Sirius was staring out the window wishing for something interesting to do. Defense Against the Dark Arts had grown increasingly boring as Professor Arden stopped paying attention to his winks. The weather was still rather bleak at the beginning of March, although the snow was almost gone and there was the occasional sunny day. Today was not one of those days. Then Sirius remembered. Tonight was full moon. Smiling, he began to imagine the adventures they might encounter in the forest.

He turned to mention this to James when he remembered. James was in a mood. Thanks to Evans. Well, not really Evans, really Snivellus. Absent mindedly twirling his snitch between his fingers, James had a huge scowl on his face. This negative attention was directed at Snape, who seemed to have a vague idea that James Potter was imagining all the different ways he could dismember a 6th year Slytherin with skinny legs and a twitchy walk. He occasionally glanced back, always getting his face back to Professor Arden in a split second. Every time this happened, James looked as though he was going to repeat his reaction to Snape's Evans-gazing two months before.

"Relax Mate," Sirius nudged him.

James didn't respond. He was still glaring at Snape.

Exasperated, Sirius poked Remus on the shoulder. "So tonight," he smirked happily. "Do you think we'll see the centaurs again?"

"Keep your voice down," Remus whispered harshly.

"Oh relax, no one knows about the 'furry little problem,'" he scoffed. "Do you?"

"I don't know. Maybe." Remus was looking around somewhat nervously

"That would be brilliant," said Peter. "Hey Sirius, remember when that one almost kicked you?"

Sirius grinned, nodding. "I hope we see them again."

* * *

The rest of the day seemed to go at about half speed. By the time they had finished lessons, had supper, gone up to the common room and Remus had gone down to meet Madam Pomfrey in the Hospital Wing for his monthly sojourn, Sirius was ready to jump out of his skin. He was dying for an adventure. Things had been uncharacteristically dull for the Marauders this year. Well, definitely not dull, but all that extra drama had seriously damaged the troupe's ability to commit the high-jinks they used to.

"So," he said, nudging James. "Ready for tonight?"

James, sitting very still on his bed, shrugged.

"Come on," Sirius nudged him again. "An adventure. Isn't Prongs just aching to get out? Things are much less complicated as an animal James, come on.."

"That's true," he nodded sadly.

"Hey Wormtail," Sirius beckoned the boy on the other side of the dormitory. "Are you looking forward to tonight?"

Peter nodded vigorously. "Definitely. It's been months. This is going to be bloody brilliant."

"See Prongs," Sirius gestured at Peter. "Wormtail is excited, I'm abso-bloody-lutely dying to go, and you're here sulking. I have a bit of a problem with that."

James shrugged again. "I'm going, isn't that enough?"

"Is that enough?" Sirius scoffed. "Is that enough? You are James Potter, Quidditch captain, ruler of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and Transfiguration genius. You are even as attractive as Sirius Black…almost. Is just going enough? I think not, was just going good enough for Merlin, for Hengist of Woodcroft, for Godric Griffindor, for Albus. Dum..."

"Okay Sirius I get your point," James said. He smiled slightly. "Is that better?'

"I suppose," Sirius shrugged. "You have the map?"

"Yeah, right here," James pulled a sheaf of parchment out of his trunk and handed it to Sirius.

"I Solemnly Swear I Am up to No Good," Sirius said with a grin. Lines began to appear and then rooms and then dots, and soon Sirius held a map in his hands. He unfolded it, studying each and every floor to determine their route down to the Whomping Willow. The main stairs were empty. Filch was pacing up and down a corridor. Sirius noticed that Dorcas Meadowes was in a 1st floor classroom with Robert McMillan, the Hufflepuff's keeper. He was a little surprised. He'd have to ask her about that later. Lily Evans was, as was expected, in her bedroom. The path was looking perfectly clear, as if fate had intervened for the purpose of allowing the boys to have their fun. Sirius almost didn't see the dot loafing around the Whomping Willow. When he did, his face fell. He knew who it was before he even read the label.

This was far from the first time Snape had lingered around the Whomping Willow while Remus was up in the Shrieking Shack. He had started tracking Remus' activities during 4th year and by now, it was completely normal for James, Sirius, and Peter to have to dodge him on their way down to visit Remus.

"Oy James," Sirius yelped. "Snivelly is down there again."

James frowned. "Stupid git."

"Come on," Sirius smirked. "Let's go and have a little fun."

"No, I'm not really in the mood."

"Didn't you say you wanted to make sure he lay off Evans?" Sirius was a little shocked at James' flat refusal.

"Look Sirius," he said shortly, looking up at his friend. "I just don't want to, okay."

"Well alright," he shrugged. "Do you want to dodge him or wait until he comes back?"

"I really don't want to go at all," James said, lying down on his back. "Why don't you two just go? Remus will understand."

"It'll cheer you up mate."

"No, it won't. You two just go."

Sirius scowled at James. He wasn't going to force him to go, but he wanted to. "Fine," he said. "Let's go Peter."

Peter was looking from Sirius to James, looking very conflicted.

"I…I…" Peter started.

"Oh forget it," Sirius shoved the map angrily in his pocket. "I'll go myself. I have business with Snivelly anyway." He stormed out of the dormitory and down the stairs to the common room. As he walked, he got angrier and angrier. This was not how things were supposed to be. Tonight was supposed to be the Marauder's night; it was supposed to be like before. Everything was all wrong. A depressed James ruined it. It was all Snivellus' fault. If he hadn't given Evans that damned love potion, James would still be on his "she thought I was impressive" high. And now, Snape's abnormally large nose had stuck itself in to something that was none of his business.

Then it hit Sirius.

If Snivellus wanted to know about Remus, Sirius would help him find out.

He snuck quietly out of the portrait hole and pulled out the map. All clear. He began walking as quickly and quietly as possible (he'd had a fair amount of practice) down the stairs to the castle entrance. When he reached the 1st floor, he heard whispered voices. Crouching in a shadow, he checked the map. It was Dorcas and Robert. He crouched lower as they finished their conversation. He couldn't make out the words, but he got the idea that they were parting amicably. Robert went the opposite way downstairs to the Hufflepuff common room. Dorcas began walking towards Sirius. Merlin, he'd forgotten that she would be walking up this way. He had to move somewhere. Damnit James, where's the invisibility cloak when I need it? Frantically he searched for a hiding spot. She was getting closer. He was getting desperate.

"I can hear you Black," she whispered. "You're rustling your parchment."

Damn. "Mischief Managed," he whispered. He stood up warily, the furious scowl still on his face.

"You're out late," she smirked.

"I've got to deal with some business."

"Business?" her voice danced on the word. "What kind of business? Where's James?"

"Not here," Sirius said. "We shouldn't talk here. We might get caught."

"Alright?" she asked, noticing the expression on Sirius' face.

He glowered. "I will be," he said. "After I see a certain Slytherin. Go on. You don't want to get caught either."

Her expression remained almost the same except for a wrinkle now visible between her eyebrows. Sirius didn't wait for her to nod or acknowledge his comment. He brushed past her and slowly opened the huge front door to the castle.

Once outside, Sirius muttered the torch spell to help him navigate the dark of night. Silently, he snuck between the vegetable gardens and the greenhouses. He slouched, so his height wouldn't give him away. The night was freezing, especially for March, but without ice on the ground, Sirius could maneuver rather easily. As he rounded the last greenhouse, the moon caught a shady-looking figure.

Snape was pacing around the tree, occasionally looking behind and around him. It looked as though he was waiting for someone. Sirius walked in the shadows as much as possible until the field-like terrain forced him out of them. Snape saw him almost immediately.

"I knew it," he smiled triumphantly. "I knew you would show up. I saw Madam Pomfrey bring Lupin down here after supper and then came down to wait after she came back."

"That's a long wait," Sirius smirked. "You're rather determined Snivellus, aren't you?"

Snape didn't answer. He just wore the sick smile barely visible in the dark.

"It's a good trait, determination," Sirius continued, his eyes darkening with anger. "I usually like determined people."

Snape shuffled a little, disturbing the small patch of snow at his feet.

"If you want to get down there, all you have to do is push that knot." He pointed. Snape didn't look. "That one Snivelly," he pointed again, smiling. Then he turned to head back up to the castle, ready to go, when a brilliant idea hit him.

Turning back around, he raised his eyebrows. "You know who else is in there with him?" "Evans."

Snape, for the first time during the nightly meeting, looked angry. "Don't lie to me Black."

"I'm not," he shrugged. "Go see for yourself. See what she's chosen over you and James."

Sirius turned to begin his journey back to the castle. He heard Snape fidgeting behind him, obviously trying to decide whether or not he should go through the tunnel. Sirius knew he would, he had seen the anger he had arisen with Evans' name. Honestly, he would never understand how someone could get so turned around by a bird.

As Sirius reached the entrance to the castle, he saw the door burst open, but there was no person behind it. James had come.

"James?" Sirius smiled. "You'll never believe what I just did? Snivelly will never go after Evans again."

"You didn't, please tell me I'm wrong," he was out of breath as he threw the invisibility cloak off of him and kept running.

"I just told him how to get in to the…"

"Get out of my way," James pushed past him violently.

"James…" Sirius sprinted off after him. They retraced Sirius' steps through the vegetable garden and past the greenhouses at a fevered pace.

"Oy Prongs," Sirius yelled at the boy about ten feet in front of him. "Calm down."

"Sirius," he spat as they rounded the corner and saw that the Whomping Willow was still. "How could be such a fucking idiot? Don't you realize what could happen? What might have already happened?"

James reached the base of the tree and immediately slid into the large tunnel that ran parallel with the tree's large roots. Sirius stood there dumbstruck. What had just happened? What was James doing? Sirius didn't move until James re-emerged; now dragging a paler-than-usual Snape who had an absolutely horror-stricken look on his face. James pulled him out of the tunnel and let go of him as he lay on the grass surrounding the tree.

"Get out of the way," James yelled. He and Sirius ran out of the striking distance. Snape managed to scramble out of the way just before a large branch hit the spot where he had been dropped by James.

Snape's face had contorted into one of total hatred. His black eyes were bugging to twice their normal size. He looked at James, then at Sirius, then back to James. "You were trying to murder me, weren't you?" he looked as if he had been possessed by some unworldly thing. "By sending me down that tunnel to that…that thing."

"Hey," James bit. Just because he had saved Snape's life did not make them friends. "That "thing" happens to be our best friend."

"It doesn't matter," Snape was shaking violently with anger, his fists and teeth were clenched, and his hair had fallen into his face. "You tried to kill me. You murderers!"

"For Merlin's sake, keep your voice down," Sirius snapped, glancing around him.

"KEEP MY VOICE DOWN?"

"Hey Snivelly, I guess you didn't notice, but James just saved your life."

"After the two of you plotted to kill me," Snape had been walking towards them during this rant and now was only about a foot from the pair of them.

"That was all Sirius," James glared at his friend. "I may not like you, but I'm not stupid enough to do that."

Snape responded by punching James squarely in the face. It was a weak hit, though it did crack James' glasses. Without thinking, James punched Snape right back, knocking him back.

James took his glasses off and muttered "Occulus Reparo." Putting his glasses back on, he muttered. "Don't do anything stupid, Snape."

Snape had stood and was advancing on James, though he was wobbling on his feet a little. He pulled back his arm, ready to punch James again.

"BOYS! HEADMASTER'S OFFICE NOW!" Filch was standing on the other side of the tree.


	13. Chapter 13

The three boys sat in three identical wooden chairs in front of a very disappointed and angry Dumbledore. Snape's former expression of frozen terror had faded into a grimace of complete hatred. His black eyes narrowed at James as his lip twitched. James was frowning and staring at Sirius, occasionally letting out a stream of exasperated air. Sirius had his jaw clenched, his lips angrily pouted, and was staring at a book on Dumbledore's shelf titled _The Television: A Muggle Obsession_.

Dumbledore was sitting behind his huge mahogany desk, his long fingers interlacing as he spoke. "I am quite surprised at this incident." He said firmly, "As aware as I am of your…..dislike….for each other, I never imagined that it could escalate to this."

Sirius looked at his shoes. James glared at Sirius.

"First of all, I think it is necessary to tell you, Mr. Snape, that Mr. Lupin's condition is not to be shared with anyone. Just because his friends made a rather large mistake does not take away his right to his privacy. I need your promise that you will tell no one of what you saw in the shrieking shack tonight."

He looked at Snape in question – his normally convivial blue eyes full of seriousness. Snape's upper lip twitched again as he looked away quickly. Breathing out loudly, he looked back at Dumbledore. After a moment, he nodded.

"Good," he nodded back, his face remarkably calm behind half-moon glasses. "Well, Mr. Snape, I also must tell you that in response to the wrongdoing you committed regarding Miss Evans, you are to be closely watched by Professor Slughorn at all times during Potions class, and will also be subject to a search should he suspect stolen ingredients." Snape's head dropped, greasy hair falling into his eyes. Dumbledore softened his tone. "Furthermore, I feel it necessary to tell you that what you did was below you. Love potions are for those who do not wish to find real love and you do not deserve such fake affection. Next time, I recommend you take a different tack." He looked at James, peering over his half-moon glasses with slightly raised eyebrows. "I imagine, Mr. Potter, that this is the reason you and Mr. Black reacted so extremely tonight."

James glanced at Sirius.

"James had nothing to do with it, sir," Sirius said, noticing his friend's glance. "I did it alone."

"Ahhh.." Dumbledore sighed and stroked his beard. "And may I ask why, Mr. Black?"

Sirius glared at Snape. Snape turned his body away from him, his eyes full of hatred. Sirius licked his upper lip in anger and then spoke. "Sniv…I mean Severus had been following Remus around for years, I thought it would be best just to let him find out. He deserves whatever Remus would have done to him."

Snape's face contorted and he shook angrily.

"Now Mr. Black," Dumbledore's voice grew louder, though he was still calm. "No one deserves that. And don't you think it would have been rather hard for Mr. Lupin to handle the responsibility of harming someone in his altered state? Perhaps you should have considered him."

Sirius looked down for a second and then back to Snape. "Perhaps," he spat.

"Mr. Snape," Dumbledore said, sighing. "I think you can go. If I need to talk with you again, I will call you."

Snape nodded and stood, still brutally aware of the daggers Sirius' eyes were shooting at him. He slouched to the door, his shifty eyes looking from James to Sirius constantly.

"Remember, what you have seen tonight is to remain a secret," Dumbledore called as Snape reached the exit.

Snape nodded again and slipped out quickly.

When he had left through the door leading to the stairway, Dumbledore turned back to James and Sirius.

"Mr. Black," he closed his eyes for a second to regain his composure. "I think you know that I am severely disappointed in your actions."

Sirius' head dropped.

"It is obvious to me that you went into this without any thought or any consideration for the ramifications. Your treatment of Mr. Snape has always been terrible but tonight's "prank" as you may call it was quite indefensible. Your punishment will have to be rather severe. You should thank your friend for stopping Mr. Snape before more serious things had occurred. If they had, I would have no choice but to expel both you and Mr. Lupin."

Sirius gave James a dirty look. He was always Dumbledore's favorite. James sent it right back. Dumbledore noticed this exchange, pursing his lips in contemplation, but seemed to ignore it. He directed his next words at James.

"Though I have no doubts that you acted more out of care for your friends then for fear of harm to Mr. Snape, your actions are commendable Mr. Potter. I know that Mr. Snape's previous actions have been somewhat aimed at you and while you haven't exactly been silent about your feelings concerning them, tonight you showed deep compassion and true courage, traits that both of you have the ability to develop. Mr. Black," he looked over at Sirius. "I suggest you take a close look at Mr. Potter's example. You have the same abilities, I would prefer you choose similar actions."

Sirius looked over at James again, disgusted at this ridiculous favoritism.

"I want to tell the two of you about a group of people that I am beginning to form along with an old Auror friend of mine, Alastor Moody." He put his hands on the desk. "It is an organization designed to fight Lord Voldemort."

James and Sirius perked up in their chairs.

"The two of you have more talent than many wizards twice your age and when you finish your time here at Hogwarts, if times are still as dark as now, I would be honored if you would join."

Both boys nodded furiously, enthralled by the offer.

"I say this on condition," Dumbledore continued, waving his hand to emphasize the point. "After tonight, I must say that I am somewhat worried about your maturity level. You too. Mr. Potter." James had glared at Sirius. "Your treatment of Mr. Snape also contributed to this incident. You two must grow up if you are going to be of any real use to us. Your cavalier attitudes and your rather inflated egos could get you, or other members, killed. Both of you must learn that you are both fallible and mortal before you will be able to join the fight."

He put his hands back together and rested his chin on them. "You two may go. I will let you know when Professor McGonagall and I have agreed on a sufficient punishment for you, Mr. Black."

Sirius scowled and the two stood. They walked to the door. Sirius' longer legs got him there first and he shut the door in James' face. James jumped as the door almost hit him. He threw the door open and the two stood angrily next to each other on the moving staircase.

"Why'd you do that?" James asked, his eyes furrowed behind his glasses.

Sirius shrugged sarcastically. "What didn't Dumbledore tell you? I'm immature and I have an inflated head."

"He said that to both of us, idiot," James spat back. "Or were you too busy glaring at me to listen. What is your problem?"

"My problem is you," Sirius growled. "Always being Dumbledore's favorite. Always getting out of everything."

"I didn't do anything. Blimey, Sirius, I saved Snape's life." He managed to catch the door into the corridor as Sirius shut it in his face again. "I also saved your hide and Remus'. If you hadn't been so stupid…"

"I did it for you, you bastard." Sirius was walking very quickly along with his rant. So quickly that James could barely keep up. "To stop your whining about him messing with Evans again."

"I didn't mean try and kill him," James yelled at his best friend's back. "Merlin, Sirius, you don't ever think, do you? It's just, hey, let's do it and not think about what would happen."

"I thought that's why we were friends," Sirius threw over his shoulder.

"Sure, it's fun sometimes. But that can get you in massive troubles, Sirius."

"Oh spare me the lecture, I've already had one." He stormed up the stairs.

"This is serious…"

"Oh," said Sirius sarcastically. "Are you going to make a Sirius/serious pun? Oh you're so witty, James Potter."

"Get over yourself, Sirius," James boomed, taking two stairs at a time to keep up. "I have never said I was better than you and no one else thinks I am either."

"Is that what you think this is about?" Sirius laughed mirthlessly and turned around suddenly as they reached the landing. "You think I feel inadequate around you. On the contrary, Potter. I am not the one who has spent three years on some girl who absolutely despises me."

James looked at Sirius with an expression of absolute rage. "Don't bring up Evans."

"Why not?" Sirius said, gray eyes storming. "She's the one who caused this whole thing anyway. If you weren't completely nuts over her, I wouldn't have had to deal with Snivellus. Apparently, I'm the mature one. I'm the one who handled the whole bloody situation."

"I wouldn't call what you did handling the situation, Sirius." James spat, his chest rising and falling in anger. "And as for you being the mature one, I don't think shagging the entire fucking school without any regrets could exactly be termed mature."

Sirius took a long deep breath, narrowed his eyes, and leaned towards James. Then in a low, callous voice, he said, "at least I'm getting some."

He turned back around and trudged up the stairs. James walked a few feet behind him, absolutely fuming. When they reached the portrait hole, Sirius muttered the password and entered the common room. Sitting on the couch was Dorcas Meadowes. As Sirius and then James entered the room, she stood; trying hard to conceal the look of concern and shock on her face.

"What happened?" she asked, her wavering voice betraying her emotion.

The two boys glared at each other, but almost immediately looked away.

"He did exactly what I thought he would," James spat.

Sirius turned to Dorcas with a look of angry shock. "Do you know what happened?" he asked pointedly.

She shook her head. "When I came back up James was in the common room, looking pretty mad. So I figured the two of you had fought and I told him I had seen you and you were after Snape. He sort of shot up and shouted something about a cloak. He ran upstairs and almost immediately come back down. Then he burst out of the room and now you're both back." She looked Sirius in the eye for a second and then suddenly turned away, picking up a book. "I was up reading. Couldn't sleep."

Sirius gaped at her and then shot. "YOU TOLD HIM?"

Her mouth opened in surprise and she nodded. "Was it a secret?"

Sirius' face contorted. "You absolute bitch, I can't believe it. You told him."

"I asked you before not to call me a bitch."

"Oh Shut up Sirius," James spat. "You should be thanking her too. Without her telling me, how the hell would I have known?"

"If you hadn't known, this whole thing would have worked out fine," Sirius said quietly, without looking at James. "Snape would have been taken care of and everything would have been great."

"What about Remus, you stupid git?" James glared at the side of his friend's head. "What would he have done?"

Dorcas had turned and was walking up the stairs to the girls' dormitories as quietly as possible.

"Meadowes," Sirius called. "Let me tell you now, I don't care about our deal. I never want to talk to you again, hear me?"

She turned and, rather reluctantly, nodded, then hurried up the rest of the stairs, disappearing behind a door.

"You bastard," James let out a lot of air. "She saved your hide."

"Like you?" Sirius turned towards the stairs. "Is she trying to be Miss Perfect too? Maybe you should go after her instead of Evans? That would be perfect. The snitch couple."

James bristled. "Don't take this out on her, Sirius, she was just trying to help."

"All these people trying to help me," he said sarcastically without turning around. "You'd think I was a damn cripple."

James stood at the bottom of the stairs with no wish to follow this angry version of his best friend and no response to give him. Sirius soon disappeared behind their dormitory door. James made an angry noise, walked over to the couch, lay down and tried to make himself comfortable. He had a pretty good sense that sleep tonight would be virtually impossible


	14. Chapter 14

Lily yawned as she descended the stairs into the common room to re-read her Arithmancy notes before breakfast. Running her hand through her red hair, she groaned in exhaustion. Annabelle and Gwen had been up gossiping about Owen all night. Gwendolyn's giggles were shockingly loud. As she reached her normal spot on the couch, she saw something strangely familiar. She narrowed her eyes and tilted her head in confusion. Suddenly she realized what the thick black mass was.

"OH MERLIN!" She screamed, her eyes wide. "Someone's killed Potter. His head…."

Lily screamed even louder when James' entire body appeared as he jumped from the couch. Wearing a tattered gray tee-shirt, underpants, and mismatched socks, James looked so ridiculous that Lily almost laughed out loud.

"Shut up, I'm fine," he said, rubbing his disoriented face and seemingly unaware of his rather inappropriate attire. "Where're my glasses?"

Lily saw them on the red Persian rug next to the couch and kneeled to pick them up. He had gone for them a few seconds later. Grabbing the glasses, Lily began to stand. The contact of her head against James' chin sent her back down.

"Damn," she muttered, rubbing her head. James groaned, "Sorry Evans."

"You really should keep your glasses in a familiar place," she muttered, glaring up at him. He put a hand out to help her up. She took it reluctantly and stood, sighing.

"Thanks for helping," he muttered, taking his glasses and putting them on. Then, suddenly aware of his clothing, he snatched the silvery material on the couch and threw it around himself. Immediately he disappeared except for his head.

"What is that thing?" Lily whispered, a look of horror mingled with surprise on her face.

"Invisibility Cloak," he said quickly. "Dad gave it to me."

"Oh," she nodded. "I've heard of those."

An awkward silence filled the air and Lily blushed again. James looked sheepishly at the red sock on his left foot and then at the yellow and purple striped one on his right.

"Uh…" he said, without looking up. "I'd better go up. Thanks for my glasses."

She nodded. He turned quickly and waddled to the stairs as fast as he could with the cloak wrapped around him like a towel.

"Wait," Lily said.

He turned his head.

"You forgot these," she held up his jumper and trousers.

"Thanks," he muttered as she brought them over to him. As she handed them to him, their eyes met. For a few seconds they stood there, at the bottom of the stairs, each holding onto his clothes, green meeting hazel. Then Lily looked down.

"I don't know why you're sleeping down here, Potter," she said, avoiding his glance. "But it's awfully selfish."

James smiled a little; sure he had seen her blush when she had looked away. "Sorry Evans."

* * *

Remus returned from the shack three days after that night and when James told him what had happened, he was furious with Sirius. No one had ever seen Remus angry at all. He had yelled and screamed, cursing Sirius' complete disregard for his feelings, his future.

"I can't believe he would pull something like that," he said through his teeth as he paced the dormitory. Sirius refused to be in a room with James since the incident and was off somewhere that afternoon, probably with a girl.

James shrugged from his spot on his bed. "I know. I mean, I guess it was sort of my fault…"

"No it wasn't," Remus spat, still pacing. "Just because you were worried about Lily doesn't give him cause to pull _that_. Plus you saved us all from his stupidity. Then he goes and blames you. Gods, he's such a twot."

James smirked at Remus' use of that word. Peter chuckled.

"You hurt his ego and he turns into a fucking baby. I mean, honestly, he thinks he's bloody invincible."

"Honestly," Peter agreed, nodding almost violently from his bed. "He should be in here on his knees begging for forgiveness."

"Relax Remus," James sighed, leaning back on his elbows. "I think he's not going to be so big-headed after his punishment."

"What does he have to do?" Remus asked, turning to James.

James looked at his hands. "He is basically McGonagall's slave boy for the rest of the year. He'll be spending all of his time outside of class with her. Plus he has to be in the common room by 6 o'clock every night. If he's caught out after that, Dumbledore will expel him."

"Serves him right," Peter nodded at James, looking completely confident about the plan. "For betraying both of you."

"So, that's where he's been," Remus sat down on his bed, his shoulders falling. "I wish he would just apologize."

James laughed mirthlessly. "Sirius apologize?"

"With that ego?" Peter added.

"I know," Remus shrugged.

"I'm sorry," James rubbed his head. "If that helps."

"Me too," Peter said quickly.

"Thanks," he said, smiling small. "Thanks for everything."

"Hey," James said. "What are mates for?"

"Well Sirius is a mate, isn't he?"

"I sure thought so," said Peter sarcastically.

James exhaled. "I know he didn't want you to get in trouble, Moony. Sirius is just, well you know, he doesn't think when he's angry. He just reacts. He is your mate. Otherwise, he wouldn't have held me back in January."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Sorry about that, by the way."

James shrugged and laughed at the tension of it all. "Yesterday's news. I'm fighting with Sirius now, remember?"

Remus laughed in response. "Only two Marauders can hate each other at a time. We should make that a rule. Put it in the code."

James smiled weakly then put his head in his hands. "I just hope he gets over this fast."

"I know you do," Remus said. Then, as a joke, he added. "He's still got the map."

Peter laughed.

James looked up at him, not amused.

"Sorry..."

* * *

Lily shifted her heavy book bag to her other shoulder as she climbed the stairs out of the dungeons. She was on her way to Charms. In front of her, Dorcas was silent. She had been that way since the day Lily had found Potter in the common room about a week and a half ago. Lily hadn't exactly been dying to spill the beans about the embarrassing morning discovery, but when Dorcas didn't ask about Potter, she noticed. When she had asked her about it in Transfiguration, Dorcas had muttered that it really didn't matter anymore and gone on with her spellwork.

They entered the main corridor and meshed with the other students hurrying to their next classes. Dorcas bumped into a second-year Ravenclaw who backed away in fear. She kept walking. Lily apologized for her.

As they neared the Charms classroom, Lily noticed Sirius walking towards them. He was uncharacteristically without Potter and the others. Well, it had been characteristic for awhile now. That must be why Potter had been sleeping in the common room that night. They had had a row. A big row.

She saw that he had an angry look on his face and wasn't looking where he was going. People moved out of his way. He was still Sirius Black after all, even without James Potter. The three neared the Charms door at the same time; Lily the only one aware of the meeting. She was about to acknowledge Sirius when Dorcas looked down at her feet and her head smashed straight into Sirius' chest. Instinctively, he put his hands on her shoulders and they both looked each other in the eyes. His hands fell to his sides as if he had been burnt.

"Sorry," Dorcas muttered, turning into the classroom so fast Lily almost missed it. Sirius stood there for a second, his gray eyes ice cold and an angry scowl crossing his face. Then he turned his head, aware of Lily's stare. He scoffed, roughly ran his hand through his hair, and entered the room.

Lily followed him and watched as he made his way to the empty desk at the very back of the classroom instead of the one he usually took next to Potter. He glared at Dorcas as he passed her. She stared at the wood of her desk.

Lily took the seat next to Dorcas, leaned over and asked, "What happened that night, Dorcas?"

Dorcas looked up at her. She was trying desperately not to show any emotion, but the attempt was obvious. She shrugged.

"I know they had a row," Lily whispered.

"All I know is that it was about something Sirius did to Snape."

"Why is Sirius mad at you?"

"I told James that he was after Snape." She looked down at the notes she had started. Her eyes were not moving.

If she was only going to give short answers, Lily was just going to ask more questions.

"What did they do to Snape?"

"I have no idea."

"Dorcas..?" Lily looked at her.

"I don't." she said shortly.

"That's all you know?" Lily asked suspiciously.

She nodded.

Unconvinced, Lily leaned back in her chair and turned around. She saw a sullen Potter sitting alone and twirling that damn snitch. In front of him, Remus looked similarly dejected. Lily turned back around. She would solve this mystery.

* * *

Lily's next Arithmancy class was two days later. Determined to find the story of that night from Remus, she came early. Sitting in her desk as the rest of the class filed in, she had her parchment and quill ready. When Remus smiled and sat down next to her, she began writing.

_What happened that night?_

She passed it to him. He took it and read, frowning and then sticking out his tongue in thought. He scribbled something back.

_Sirius let Snape into the shack to get back at him for the whole love-potion incident._

Lily gasped aloud when she read this. The entire class looked at her.

"I've lost a quill," she shrugged. When everyone had turned, Remus glared at her. She smiled apologetically and then wrote back.

_And he and Potter fought about it?_

Remus took the note discreetly and read it, nodding. He smiled a little as he wrote it.

_James pulled Snape out. He risked his life and saved us all. Sirius is being unbelievably thick._

The look on Lily's face when she read this note could only be described as shocked. She gripped the parchment tightly but was otherwise completely still, her mouth gaping open.

"Miss Evans..." Professor Vector had a concerned look on her face. "Are you alright?"

Lily shook herself, snapping out of her shock. "Yes, Professor," she said in a small voice. "I'm fine."

"Alright," Professor Vector did not look convinced but went on with the lesson.

Lily looked at Remus and moved her mouth as if she wanted to say something. He smiled and wrote a note on another piece of parchment.

_I told you he was a stand-up bloke._


	15. Chapter 15

Dorcas was just as angry with Sirius Black as he was with her. She, however, chose not to show it. After that night, she just ignored him. She didn't pay attention to his angry stares or that look in his eyes. It didn't affect her. What she had with Sirius had always been an arrangement. He had the tool that got her back her reputation and she was close to Lily. It was like business. They weren't actually friends. She needed to remember that.

She tried to go back to the way she had been before Cade. She wished she could sit alone in her classes or next to some bloke she could attach herself to for a while, but that horrible agreement had forced her to create ties with Lily Evans – a girl with friends who weren't in most of their classes. Dorcas didn't have friends – especially female ones. She didn't know how to handle this new development. Lily continued to try to get her to talk. Dorcas continued to resist. Potions was especially painful. Once, Dorcas actually considered telling Lily that Sirius had hurt her. Luckily, she stopped herself. Not only was Dorcas not going to share things with Lily Evans, Sirius Black had not affected her. She was Dorcas Meadowes. She was impervious.

* * *

After Lily's conversation with Remus, she couldn't stop thinking about what he told her. What did this mean exactly? James Potter had actually saved Snape's life after all of that. He had protected Remus' secret. He had even saved Sirius from his own stupidity.

Lily remembered that night in the common room when he had spoken about fighting You-Know-Who. She saw him standing there in his black robes, those glorious hazel eyes shining. She admitted it. They were glorious, even if he couldn't see. She replayed the powerful things he had said in her head, filling with a strange sort of admiration. Then she saw him in the common room that morning. His hair mussed from sleep and in his underwear. Lily had a strange feeling in the bottom of her stomach. He saved us all. That was what Remus had said. And with the thought of this undoubtedly unselfish act, Lily Evans had begun to reevaluate her opinion of James Potter.

She watched him in class and realized that she really was impressed by his outstanding work in Transfiguration. She actually laughed a little one day when he messed up the back of his hair. She was a bit disappointed that Dorcas hadn't noticed her new interest in James Potter. Dorcas remained stuck in her determination not to notice Sirius. Lily had figured it out by now; Dorcas wasn't nearly as unreadable as she thought. But Lily was much happier to contemplate the true nature of one, James Potter. Sadly, she hadn't talked to him since the morning in the common room. James was still obviously distressed about Sirius and talking to Lily didn't seem to be something he had the energy to take at the moment. Still, Lily was quickly admitting that perhaps James Potter was the stand-up bloke Remus had said he was.

That was why when she found him in the Astronomy Tower during her prefect rounds two weeks later, she was so livid.

There he was with Lizzie Stimpson, his glasses askew, his hair messier than usual no doubt thanks to her bony hands. Lily thanked whatever divine being existed that they were still both fully clothed. The minute she saw them, Potter had burst away from Lizzie, seemingly aware that he was being caught. When he saw that it was Lily who had caught him, he completely froze. Lizzie had turned and when she saw Lily, her mouth opened slightly, then she bit her swollen lip nervously and looked back at James. He ignored her.

"Get out of here, Stimpson," she said, glaring dangerously at Potter. "10 points from Gryffindor."

The 4th year scurried away quickly, afraid of the fury in Lily Evans' eyes.

Lily was shaking so hard, she thought she might explode. Then, she did.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, POTTER?"

James looked awfully guilty. He had straightened his glasses, but his hair still betrayed his previous activity. "I…I…" he stammered.

"You are so predicable," she spat, her eyes narrowing. "I should have known you'd be doing something like this."

"Why do you care, Evans?" he said passionlessly. "You've never shown any interest in me."

Lily gaped. He would say something like that. "You… You…You're tarnishing Gryffindor's image. I can't keep making up for the points you and Black lose."

"If you haven't noticed," James said. "It's not really Sirius and I anymore, is it?"

"So is that what this is," she bellowed. "You're depressed about rowing with your friend, so you think its okay to come up here and snog 14-year-olds? Such a mature thought."

"Leave me alone, Evans," he said quietly; avoiding her gaze.

"Leave you alone, Potter?" she pursed her lips tight. "You're the one who should leave me alone."

James was silent. Lily was confused, why hadn't he asked her out again? That would have been the perfect place to do it. And why wasn't she happy that he hadn't?

"This is so typical," she threw her hands up. "You do one really good thing and I start rethinking you and then, _then _you just do something so unbelievable that I have no choice but to go back to my original opinion of you."

James looked at her and shrugged. He was obviously not in the mood to listen to her rail on him.

"You are just so completely caught up in what you want, Potter," she said, slowly losing steam without his smooth comments to fuel her. "You do whatever you want, you never think about anyone…"

"You know what Evans," he said firmly. "I'm tired of trying to prove myself to you. It's been bloody exhausting, and it's gotten me nowhere. So, I'm done. I won't bother you anymore."

Lily was so dumbfounded that for one of the only times in her life, she had absolutely no idea how to respond. He walked past her, avoiding her eyes.

She stood completely still for a few moments, frozen on the spot. Had he actually just given up?

Then she turned on her heel and yelled at his back. "I still have to take points!"

"Then take them," he said without turning around.

* * *

James hadn't meant to go to the Astronomy Tower with anyone. It was just, you know, something that had happened. The same way Evans had kissed Remus. He had had an awful day. Peter was now his seat partner in Transfiguration. Remus, it seemed, had many more friends than he had realized. He had immediately sat down with Gwendolyn Abercrombie and begun talking. He had been super aware of his separation from Sirius in that class; having to re-explain to Peter how to make yams out of yarn about fifty times. Lunch had been awful. Sirius had seen and completely ignored him. And to top it all off, he had had one of the worst Quidditch practices ever. Annabelle and Owen had to be called four times when they wanted to start. Evelyn Sloper, their chaser, had fallen off of her broom within 10 minutes. Then Jason and Norman, the 4th year beaters had run into one another going after the same bludger. James had called the practice early. As he walked in behind the rest of the team, he felt unbelievably depressed. Nothing was right. Lizzie, a 4th year chaser, had hung back and offered her sympathy. Suddenly something Sirius had said during their fight rang in his ears. _At least I'm getting some._ Then the anger and the sexual frustration had taken over and before James knew it, he was in the Astronomy Tower snogging Lizzie Stimpson. When Evans had caught him, he had every intention of standing there and taking in another tirade about why he was a git. However, as it started, he felt an unbelievable hurt bubbling up in his chest. She had definitely hurt him before, that was undoubted, but the day and the pain of losing his best friend had torn down that shell which normally kept any real pain from getting in. Then, he realized, he couldn't take this abuse anymore. It wasn't fair. And the words came tumbling out. When he was done, there was a weight lifted, but he also felt an indescribable sadness, as if he had lost something forever.

Reaching his dormitory, he found that Sirius was there. When Sirius saw James, he closed the curtains around his bed quickly.

James ignored him and sat down hard on his bed. He couldn't believe he'd given up on Lily. Strangely, the thought angered him. He glared at Sirius' closed curtains. This was supposed to be Sirius' department. He was supposed to be laughing at his blunders with Evans and telling him the latest information he had received from Dorcas. His anger grew and James had a strong urge to walk over to Sirius' bed, rip the curtains off and completely rail on his friend.

He seriously thought about doing it until Remus walked in.

"Alright?" he asked.

James shrugged; rather defeated. "Well Evans just caught me snogging Lizzie Stimpson in the Astronomy Tower. She totally exploded at me and then I told her that I was done, that I was giving up on her."

"Excuse me," Remus' eyes had grown even larger and he sat down on his own bed. "What?"

"I gave up." James lay back onto his bed. "I just can't do it anymore. I'm done."

"You can't be done," Remus protested. "You adore her."

James sighed. "But she doesn't even tolerate me. I can't do it. It's too hard. Sirius was right. I need to broaden my horizons."

"We both know that Sirius has no idea what it's like to give a damn about anyone but himself." Remus spat.

"He's in there, you know," James said, pointing at the bed next to his.

"He's probably put an Imperturbable Charm up," Remus exhaled. "And even if he doesn't, it needs to be said. Sirius is completely self-absorbed."

James knew that Remus was wrong. Sirius thought about his friends all the time. They were his life. But James was too angry at Sirius to say anything. He just stretched his arms above his head on the bed and sighed.

"I told her about what happened," Remus said. "She couldn't believe it, especially the part where you saved everyone. You should've seen her face. I swear she was thinking about you as a normal person."

"So that was the one really good thing I had done, huh?" he clicked his tongue softly.

"She mentioned it?"

"She told me it was typical to prove her right after she had found out something good about me," James closed his eyes.

"I'll talk to her," Remus said quickly.

"No," James shook his head. "Don't bother. I'm never going to be able to convince her I'm decent. It's over. There're other girls, right?"

Remus looked skeptical, but said. "Sure there are Prongs. We'll find you one."

James wasn't convinced either.

Suddenly Owen burst into the room. He was breathing heavily and his eyes were terror-filled. He also looked as if he had run all the way to the common room. James sat up quickly. Remus' head turned.

"What is it, Towler?" James asked.

He seemed speechless for a second. His lips parted and closed a few times in an attempt to say something. Then his closed his eyes and swallowed.

"It's Annabelle," he said. "Her whole family was killed. McGonagall just told her. Her great-aunt, who was on vacation in Luxembourg, is the only one left. She came to pick her up. They're gone now."

James and Remus stood straight up and Sirius' curtains burst open. They all gaped as Owen fell to the floor, overcome with tears


	16. Chapter 16

It was Remus who approached Owen first.

"It's alright mate," he said, sitting down next to him and cautiously placing a hand on Owen's back as it rose and fell with sobs. Remus looked at James with big eyes.

"Yeah," James said, walking over to stand closer to the boys. "Everything will be okay."

"Annabelle's alright," Remus suggested. It was almost a question.

Sirius just stood there; shocked to the core. Owen just continued to sob. James and Remus exchanged confused and scared glances. Remus patted Owen's back a few times.

Then there was a hard knock on the door. Sirius, who was closest to the door, opened it. Gwendolyn, Annabelle's best friend, stood there. Her blonde hair was disheveled and her red-streaked eyes betrayed that she had been crying. The first thing she noticed when the door opened was Owen crouched on the floor. She rushed over and fell to the floor next to him. She wrapped her arms around the sobbing boy and began to cry with him. Remus backed away from the two of them and stood. The three boys stood there awkwardly silent while Gwendolyn and Owen cried more and more.

"Come on," James whispered as he moved towards the door. Remus followed him immediately. A few seconds later, Sirius joined them. They quietly left the dormitory and climbed down the stairs to the common room. A good number of Gryffindors were clumped in groups; obviously aware of the tragedy. Lily, Veronica, Dorcas, and Peter were all in front of the fire. Tears fell silently onto Lily's cheeks from her seat on the couch. Veronica was curled up on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. Peter was next to her, rubbing her back in the same sort of unsure concern that Remus had been employing with Owen. Dorcas stood behind the couch, seemingly frozen to the spot, staring into the fire. Her arms were crossed and her shoulders were clenched tightly. Her face was like stone.

As the boys descended the stairs, Lily popped up. Her eyes immediately fell upon James and her breathing quickened. There was a look of relief in her tear-stained green eyes. She looked as if she wanted to move closer to him, but she didn't. Instead the tears welled up in her eyes again.

"Isn't it horrid?" she whispered, looking down.

"Yeah," Remus nodded, as he and James walked to her. "Are you alright?"

She clenched up her face and nodded painfully.

"What about you?" the question was technically directed at Remus, but Lily was looking at James when she said it. James' lips parted and his eyes softened behind his glasses.

"I'm alright," Remus said.

"Good," Lily nodded; still looking at James. The two were caught up in each other's eyes. She was biting back a torrid of tears, but they burst from her and she fell back onto the couch. Her head fell into her hands and she sobbed loudly. Remus looked at James; a rather wise look on his face. James bit his lip and didn't move. Shrugging, Remus sat down next to Lily and placed a hand on her shoulder. She didn't look up, but moved closer to him so he could wrap his entire arm around her shoulders.

"Shh," he whispered, still looking at James.

James plopped down heavily into an armchair nearby, breathing out loudly. Peter looked up at him from his spot next to Veronica. He smiled weakly. James nodded in acknowledgment. Peter went back to Veronica. James turned his head and looked at a tortured-looking Sirius standing at the bottom of the stairs. He frowned and stood, walking to his friend. Sirius didn't look at him. His eyes were fixed on Dorcas

"So," he started. "Pretty bad news, huh?"

Sirius nodded, scowling slightly.

"Don't you think we should just be done with this whole stupid fight, Padfoot?"

Sirius turned on James. "Just because something horrible happens doesn't automatically erase everything, Potter," he spat. "Things between us have not changed."

"Come on, Sirius. You know I'm sorry."

"Don't make me punch you," Sirius said under his breath, turning back away.

James rolled his eyes. He was so god-damned stubborn. "Honestly Sirius, are you going to hate me forever because I ruined your ridiculous plan?"

Sirius' scowl seemed fixed on his unresponsive face.

"You know Easter Holiday is next week," James said. "What are you going to do then? If we're fighting, you're obviously not coming home with me. And you can't exactly go see your family, can you?"

Sirius clenched his shoulders and gritted his teeth. That was below the belt. He flipped back to face James. "HOW DARE YOU!" Sirius bellowed. He jumped on top of James and immediately began laying punch after punch on his face.

The entire common room popped up and ran over to James and Sirius. Remus, Lily and Peter tried unsuccessfully to pull the tall boy off of James' now-bloody form. Finally with Dorcas' help, they were able to pull him off. The two friends separated and, with Peter's help, James stood. His face was bloodied; his nose looking somewhat crooked. His glasses were hopelessly twisted and he had a burgeoning black eye. Sirius' knuckles were cut up from the glass in James' spectacles and he had a bloody lip.

"I can't believe you," James said through his teeth. "I come over to clear the air and you turn on me like that. You're right, things have changed between us."

Sirius was breathing heavily; looking like an animal ready to attack. His lip twitched, but he was silent.

"I'm going upstairs," James spat. "Don't you dare come up there tonight."

And with that James turned, Peter on his left side, and walked up the stairs. A few seconds later, Remus followed the other two. Quickly, everyone else in the common room made their way to the two staircases and bolted up the stairs. Sirius continued to bristle; looking angrier than anyone had ever seen him. Veronica scurried up to the girls' dormitories; now sobbing even harder.

Lily stood there for awhile, watching Sirius warily. When she moved, she first made her way over to the girls' staircase after Veronica, but halfway across the room, she stopped. For a few seconds, she weighed her options. The pros and cons of doing this flowed through her mind. Finally, with a rather determined sniff, she turned and walked quickly to the other side of the room, and up the boys' stairs.

Dorcas and Sirius stood in the exact spots they were in when James had marched up the stairs. Dorcas had returned her arms to their place across her chest. She wasn't looking at Sirius, but instead, at the very first step of the staircase.

"Why are you still here?" Sirius asked through his teeth and looked over at Dorcas. The angry scowl scared her a little and she took a breath.

"I don't fancy listening to Veronica cry." She said quietly, "it might be awhile before she stops."

Somewhat satisfied with this answer, Sirius nodded and walked to the couch. He sat, but was fidgeting; the adrenaline still rushing through his body thanks to the fight. Dorcas relaxed a little when he walked away, but remained standing in the same spot. After a few minutes, Gwendolyn came down the stairs, looking awful. Without looking at either of them, she went up to the girls' dormitories, no doubt on Lily's suggestion to comfort Veronica.

Dorcas watched her pass while Sirius stared at the fire, playing with his hands angrily.

Finally, he broke. "What the hell are you doing standing around back there? I'm not going to bloody hit you. Sit down!"

Dorcas walked over to an armchair off of the left side of the sofa Sirius had placed himself on. Sitting down warily, she watched as he licked a bloody knuckle.

"Merlin Meadowes," he screamed. "You're so strange. Just hanging around back there for years on end. What are you waiting for?"

Dorcas sat up straighter in her chair, gathering all of her strength. She looked at him haughtily.

"AN APOLOGY?" he guessed. "Dream on," he scoffed. "You saw what I just did to James, do you honestly think I forgive you?"

Dorcas just looked at him; her dark eyes full of pride. "I didn't do anything wrong."

"DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!" he stood and began pacing back and forth in front of the sofa. Then, leaning inches from Dorcas' face, he bellowed. "You sabotaged everything! And you still have no idea what the hell went on that night." He was so close that a fleck of blood from his wide bottom lip landed on the bottom of her plump one. She wiped it with the back of her hand.

"I know that I helped save you from your ego." She said, looking him straight into the eyes and not raising her voice at all, though her hands had formed fists. "And I think that you should thank me."

When he turned away from her, she exhaled raggedly, shrinking a little into her chair. He kept going.

"Why is everyone so damned concerned with my ego? James has exactly the same ego. Why does he get off? Damn!"

Dorcas was silent.

"Why is he so god-damned better than I am?" Then he scoffed. "I bet he'll be the one who goes off and slays You-Know-Who and I'll be the ridiculous play-boy side-kick who no one takes seriously. He'll end up with Evans and they'll live happily ever after and they'll let me hang around out of pity. Or for their entertainment."

He was twitching furiously. "And then, like a prat, he'll go and get himself killed, and I'll be completely alone." His ranting was so furious that it scared Dorcas a little. She stood; her long frame completely erect. "Whatever," he tried to shrug the emotions away. "I can be alone. I'm independent. I'd be better off without him. He just makes me part of a twosome…"

Sirius felt the pressure of tears behind his eyes. He was NOT going to cry. HE WAS NOT GOING TO CRY! He was fighting so hard that his entire body had tightened painfully and his breath was coming out in violent spurts.

When Dorcas stood about a foot away from him and reticently pushed a piece of black hair out of his tortured gray eyes, he didn't react. She looked hard at him. Her face had broken from her normal emotionless façade into one complete with trembling lips and furrowed eyes. A flicker of fear passed through her dark eyes before she suddenly placed both hands around Sirius' neck and pulled his head toward hers. She kissed him hard, the salty taste of his blood on her lips.

Sirius was already worked up and soon he had deepened the kiss; pressing his tongue against her lips. She let him in without hesitation and passion took them away. She was sucking on his injured bottom lip and then he was gently gnawing on hers. They moaned into each other's mouth, overcome with unbearable emotions. At some point during the kissing, both of them had started crying and their tears mixed on their cheeks and fell onto their lips, their necks, their shoulders.

Dorcas ran her hands appreciatively under Sirius' jumper and tee-shirt and they broke their kisses so she could pull them off of him. Their eyes met in that second after she had gazed upon his toned chest with dark eyes heavy with lust and tears. With tears still clinging to their eyelashes, the two proud Gryffindors both sensed the other's weakness and, for once, openly shared their own.

Sirius placed a large hand on the small of her back and pulled her in to kiss her furiously again. She gripped his back so hard that scratch marks began to appear. Aching to be on the same page, Sirius pulled at the back of Dorcas' clothing. She peeled it off and stood there in front of him in her bra. He sighed loudly and scooped her up in his arms. Spinning around, he placed her on the sofa roughly. She held her grip around his neck, pulling him down and he climbed up on top of her. The kissing continued and soon he had unclasped her bra. She moaned when he touched her breasts and when their naked chests rubbed together.

Before either of them knew what had happened, he was inside of her and they were both lost in the ecstasy of it. Dorcas arched her back under him, her eyes shut, and she reached a place where she felt only the purest pleasure she'd ever known. No one had been murdered. The entire house wasn't bursting in to tears all the time. Sirius hadn't hated her. The only thing she knew was that he was part of her and soon he had followed her to the same escape. She heard his gasp magnified to a million times its actual level and answered with one of her own. They reveled in the pleasure together for a moment and then, just as quickly, it was gone.


	17. Chapter 17

Lily had marched to the boys' dormitories as fast as she could, afraid that she might turn back if she hesitated. She had to do this. He had to know. She knocked on the 6th years' door and then, afraid of who might answer and how she might react, opened it herself. No one noticed her enter.

"Don't you know the healing spells, Remus?" James was lying on his bed, Remus standing next to him with Peter looking on. Owen had fallen asleep, so emotionally exhausted that even an angry and injured James cursing his former best friend hadn't woken him up. Gwen was sitting on the edge of his bed, obviously interested in what Remus would be able to do. "I'm sure you could do them."

"James," he sighed. "You know that Sirius was the one who knew those. Remember Georgiana Harlan taught them to him last year. I don't know the incantations."

"You should go to Madam Pomfrey," Lily said softly, approaching James' bedside.

James shot up and put his newly repaired glasses back on. "Evans? What are you doing in here?"

She ignored the question and repeated herself. "You should go to Madam Pomprey."

James hesitated. He watched Lily intently as she approached him. He could tell that she was wearing an expression of complete determination. He loved her for that look. Then James lay back down. He had given Evans up. He wasn't going to imagine that she was here to tell him that she had loved him as long as he had loved her. She was here to enforce the rules. He answered her. "No, if I do then Sirius will be expelled."

She stood over him. Her red hair fell as she leaned over him and examined his eye. "It's pretty bad, Potter," she said. "You really should let her look at it."

James shook his head; determined not to think about the smell of that hair as it hung inches from his face.

Lily looked at him strangely as Remus moved back over to sit on his bed. Both of them ignored him. "What do you care if Black gets expelled? I thought you weren't friends anymore."

James took a breath and shrugged. "Whatever happens, Sirius will always be like a brother to me. I can't betray him like that."

Obviously struck with his loyalty, Lily sat down on the bed and pursed her lips. She saw Gwendolyn and Remus watching the two of them.

"Why don't you go check on Veronica," she said to Gwendolyn. "She went up to our room sobbing."

Gwendolyn glanced at the sleeping figure of Owen and nodded. She stole a glance with Remus and then exited the room.

"Listen Potter," Lily said; turning back around to face him. "I want to…to…" Lily couldn't seem to get the words out.

"What Evans?" James smirked. "Cat got your tongue? Can I…" He stopped himself before he dropped the line.

"_Remember,"_ he thought. _"I am no longer going to go after Evans."_

She looked at him expectantly and when he stopped suddenly, a flash of disappointment was noticeable in her emerald eyes.

"What is it?" he asked; trying to be nonchalant.

"Iwannapologize," she said very quickly.

James didn't understand her. "You what?" he asked.

Lily took a deep breath. "I want to…to," she started softly. Then looking over at Peter and Remus, who were staring at them, she whispered. "Do you think we could talk about this more privately?"

James was dying. He wanted so badly to tell Evans what he really wanted to do more privately, but he willed his mouth to be silent and shrugged. "Sure," he said.

As she climbed all the way on to his large bed and began to close the curtains around them, James felt an uncontrollable swell of excitement run through his entire body. He was on his bed with Evans. WITH EVANS. His heart was beating so fast. And she was closing the curtains, muttering an imperturbable charm. It took every fiber of his will power not to grab her and snog her silly. Then, he remembered. He was no longer interested.

Then she looked at him, a somewhat fearful expression in those eyes that he wanted to fall into. "Do you think they'll think that we're…well…you know?" She bit her lip.

He laughed from the tension of it all. This was too much. "No," he shook his head, as he propped himself up on his elbows.

"Alright," she settled herself down near James' feet. She exhaled again, getting her strength. Then she began.

"I want to apologize for earlier today," she said calmly. "You have every right to kiss whomever you like and I have no right to tell you not to."

James gaped. He didn't know how to answer her; so he didn't

"I also," she stopped and scratched her head in frustration. "I've been a prat," she said firmly then screwing up her face. "I've been awful to you and while you are a prat yourself, you don't deserve it."

James' sore jaw dropped. Was that an actual apology? Sure, she had called him a prat, but had she really just told him that she'd been wrong to treat him the way she did.

She was tracing the pattern of the quilt on the bed, a sheepish look on her face.

"Why'd you want to tell me that?" he asked.

Her head popped up at the sound of his voice. "If you think I'm going to say yes to you Potter, then you…"

He shook his head. "I'm not going to ask you out." Then he added, "Ever again, remember."

"So you were serious about that?" she asked rather mindlessly.

He let out a stream of air and then nodded, his lips pressed together.

"Oh…" she said. Did her face fall a little? "Well, good," she recovered.

"But, honestly Evans," James continued. "Why did you need to apologize to me?"

Lily upper lip twitched a little and she glanced back down at the quilt. When she looked back up at James, there was a hint of wetness to her eyes.

"I didn't want you to, well," she swallowed hard to regain control. "If you were hurt," she stopped again. "I wouldn't want you to think that I actually hated you."

"So, you don't hate me?" James was suddenly enjoying this apology session more than ever.

She bit her bottom lip and exhaled. Then, closing her eyes, she shook her head.

"Good to know," he smiled. "I don't hate you either."

She smiled slightly back. "By the way, I know how to do healing charms. Do you want…"

"Oh please," he said, taking his glasses off. She muttered something and the swelling and pain around James' left eye immediately stopped. He ran a finger over his eyelid and then put his glasses back on. "Thanks Lily," he said, opening his eyes to find her face inches away.

"You're welcome, James," she said.

Then she undid the imperturbable and climbed off of the bed.

* * *

When Dorcas and Sirius had separated, both had immediately jumped up and thrown their clothes back on in a hurry, avoiding each other's glances. Once they had bumped into each other when she reached for her jumper. He had handed it to her without looking at her. When they both were completely dressed and Dorcas had combed through her long hair with her fingers, they were silent. Unable to look at her, Sirius murmured something about forgiving her and she made a sort of acknowledgement noise. Then she walked up the stairs to her room. Quickly.

Once she had turned her back, Sirius watched her ascend the stairs. Then he lay down on the same couch where they had made love, exhaled loudly and went almost immediately to sleep. Dorcas did the same thing when she reached her bed.

The next morning, Sirius waited for his friends to come down and immediately broke into an extensive apology.

"I've been a total bastard," he had said the minute he saw James, Remus, and Peter descend the stairs. "You have every right to hate me forever. I would."

Then he saw James' eye. Although Lily's charm had helped to stop the swelling, the bruising was still a sight to see. "Oh Merlin, James, did I do that to you?" he grimaced. "Gods I'm sorry."

The three were so shocked to see such a different, non-sulking Sirius waiting for them. They glanced around at each other.

"I should've thanked you that night," Sirius had a look of pure remorse on his face. "You're right. It was an unbelievably stupid thing to do, and unbelievably insensitive of me Remus. You saved all of us, James."

The boys stood still at the bottom of the stairs, where a blood stain remained from last night's activities. James pursed his lips in something that what either thought or anger. Remus looked unconvinced

"I'm an idiot," Sirius looked at his feet. "You know how hard it is for me to say that. I made a mistake. Come on, guys. Peter? Remus? Come on. James?"

James smiled. "You are an idiot, but I forgive you."

Sirius grinned and clapped his friend on the back. "No more fights, I swear. This was ridiculous."

James grinned back. "It really was."

Sirius turned to Remus. "Moony, mate, you know I didn't actually want you to get in trouble. I wasn't thinking. I was just mad. And stupid. Forgive me?"

Remus pondered Sirius' words for few moments. Then calmly, he said. "I guess I can just chalk it up to your rash personality, Sirius. I forgive you."

Sirius beamed. "Thanks mate. I'll make this up to you, I swear I will."

"I'm not really sure how," Remus shrugged. "But I forgive you, Padfoot."

Sirius wrapped his long arm around Remus' shoulders and in his exuberance at having his friend back, he ruffled his light brown hair.

Remus laughed.

Peter burst in to a huge smile. "Thank Merlin," he sighed. "I was starting to think you three would be angry forever. Things can go back to normal now!"

James smiled at him. "You're right Wormtail."

"Tell him about what happened with Evans last night," Peter smirked.

Sirius cocked his head in interest and nodded. "That's right, she was up there last night." He smirked and elbowed James in the side. "You finally get her to go out with you, Prongs?" Had James had fun last night too?

"Hardly," James scoffed and gave Sirius a look. "She came to apologize to me for being a prat yesterday."

"What happened yesterday?" Sirius asked.

"That's right," Remus laughed. "He doesn't know any of it."

James shook his head and then smiled. "See what happens when you do this. Now I have to tell the entire story again."

Sirius smiled as James burst into telling him what had happened in the Astronomy Tower and later, his bed.

When James told him that she had placed an imperturbable charm on his bed, Sirius had howled loudly and ruffled James' hair.

"Well," he said when James had finished. "Looks like you've got a shot, doesn't it?"

James shrugged. "Maybe." Then a dreamy look fell on his face. "I still can't believe she called me James."

"JAMES.. OH JAMES.." Sirius began to say in a high pitched voice. "You're so good. Oh harder…"

Sirius stopped his imitation when James punched him in the shoulder. Remus rolled his eyes, though obviously was happy to have the resident pervert back.

"I thought we were done with the violence." Sirius shrugged innocently.

A huge grin formed on James' face. "Shut up Sirius."


	18. Chapter 18

For the second time this term and, they all hoped, for the last time the Marauders had reconciled. The four days just before Easter Holidays were bliss. The Slytherins found their common room in disarray two mornings in a row. When three Hufflepuff second years were caught out after curfew, they swore it was because a disembodied voice in their dormitories had told them that they were haunted. And that Sirius Black was a great shag. Then there had been a strange slapping noise and a groan. They had run downstairs in fear for their lives. Severus Snape also had an awfully horrible time; an ever present, ever enthusiastic Sirius Black kept James Potter's morale high and hexes flying. Lily rolled her eyes at James a la Remus and occasionally shot him a look of disapproval. These looks, strangely, almost always stopped James. And, of course, everyone noticed the way Sirius and Dorcas kept smiling at each other and then looking away quickly.

The morning before holidays were to begin, there was an attack on a Hufflepuff third year's family. He disappeared at breakfast. That night, Dorcas had taken Sirius by the hand and lead him up to his own bed. She had performed an imperturbable and then they repeated what they had done the night of the attack on the Idles. Just as quickly, she had left him and he had fallen asleep, feeling unburdened.

She met him in the common room the next morning, expressing a wish to talk to him before either of them left for home. They had ducked into a corner and she gave him that half-smile.

"I like what we're doing," she said quickly.

He nodded. "Me too."

"But, I really don't want to be your _girlfriend_," she said. "I want to be able to see other people, but I want to keep doing this."

"You mean shagging?" he was confused. Girls never wanted this.

She nodded.

Sirius didn't know exactly what to say. Had Dorcas just told him she was going to use him for sex? The way a bloke used a girl. He placed his chin in his hands.

"So, let me get this straight," he said slowly. "We're just going to shag? And if I want, I can shag someone else?"

"Only if I haven't claimed you for the night," she shrugged.

"Can I claim you for a night?" he asked, the words sounding more suggestive than he meant them too.

She pondered for a second and then nodded. "I think that would only be fair."

"And if one of us, well you, decides to date someone exclusively then…?"

"Then we end it," she said simply.

"Can I tell people about this?" he asked.

"Which people?"

"Oh you know, James, Remus, Peter…" This entire conversation felt awfully strange to him. He looked around the room to make sure no one could hear them discussing their sex agreement.

"You can tell them," she nodded. "But just them."

"Are you going to tell anyone?" She looked almost unnaturally calm, especially in the middle of this conversation.

She shrugged. "Probably not." Then she smiled. "Do you really care if I tell the entire school?"

Sirius scratched his head. "I guess I don't," he said.

She smiled wider and tipped her chin up. Then she held out a hand and he shook it. It felt odd to shake the hand of a girl he'd shagged twice already.

* * *

Lily took the Knight Bus to Bristol from Hogwarts. The trip was far longer than it should have been because there were about fifty other students dropped off before Lily's stop. Lily, however, didn't notice. Her mind was filled with thoughts of James Potter. Since that night in his room, she had not been able to get him off of her mind. He had called her Lily. When the conductor, a squat and rather hairy witch named Portia, had called out her stop, Lily had jerked out of her thoughts and charmed her suitcase to follow her out of the bus. Being of age in the wizarding world sure had its perks.

Her parents, a smiling redheaded man and a green-eyed woman wearing a paisley dress, were waiting for her.

"Mum, Dad," she beamed as she came off of the bus. She walked towards them, set down the trunk with a flick of her wand. She embraced both of them tightly; happy to see her parents again.

"Hullo Lily," George Evans smiled down at his daughter. "Rather nifty trick you've picked up."

"Oh the trunk," she shrugged. "It's nothing really."

"I sure wish it was nothing to me," he laughed. "Don't you Ruth?"

The woman laughed. "Yes I do. How have you been, Lily darling?"

"Wonderful," she said; James' smirk still floating around in her head.

"Well I imagine you've had a very long journey," her mother said, gently stroking Lily's hair. "You're probably exhausted."

Lily nodded. She was.

"Can you do that thing to your bag again and bring it to the car?" her father asked excitedly.

Lily laughed and shook her head. "What if someone sees, Dad?"

He frowned. "Alright," he frowned and leaned over to pick her luggage up. They walked to a parking lot at a nearby supermarket and reached an old brown hatchback. George put the suitcase in the back of the car and opened the back door for Lily. She smiled and sat down behind the driver's seat.

The entire way back Lily answered her parents in one word answers. She kept seeing James' hazel eyes light up when she had called him by his first name. She watched his lips form her name.

When they had pulled into the driveway of a modest two-level green-shingled home, George Evans stopped the car, turned off the engine, and pulled the keys from the ignition.

"Before we go in Lily," Ruth said. "We need to tell you something."

"What?" she asked.

"Petunia's engaged," her father said.

"To that complete wanker who was here at Christmas?" Lily said passionlessly. "What was his name? Victor…Virgil…Vermin?"

"Vernon," Ruth said. "And don't use that word, darling."

"Tosser would be a better choice," George said under his breath.

Lily giggled. It was something James would have said.

"Both of you stop it," Ruth said, though a slight smile had appeared upon her face. "He is going to be a member of this family. We have to at least _try_ to be friendly."

"Moving on," George said. "He and Petunia have both requested that you refrain from using magic around the two of them, Lily. I'm not telling you that you have to do what they ask, but I feel you should know what they think about it."

"I'll do what I please," Lily said; too absorbed in her own world to give any real to Petunia and Vernon's stupid prejudices.

"Good for you," George smiled.

"Lily," Ruth turned over her seat. "Just be careful, alright?"

Lily didn't use magic during those two weeks, but it had nothing to do with Vermin or Petunia. She simply didn't need to. Her days were filled with day dreams about more normal conversations with James Potter. Her nights were filled with different kinds of dreams. Lily was shocked the first time she woke up in a sweat after James had loved her in her imagination.

"_This is so typical,"_ she thought, exasperated. "_The minute he gives up on me, I fall head over heels in love with the bastard._ _This is completely his fault."_

"We've picked a date," Petunia said during Easter dinner, her bony hand resting on Vernon's thick forearm. Lily was going back to Hogwarts the day after tomorrow and had rather mixed feelings about seeing James again. "August 15th."

"_That means I have to be there,"_ Lily thought angrily.

"And Lily," a fake smile crossed her face. "I hope you won't be too disappointed that I didn't choose you as a bridesmaid. I just felt I should give Marge some sort of offering."

"I'm not disappointed at all," Lily said as she took another bite of ham and thought of running her hands through James' messy black hair.

Petunia laughed weakly. Vernon frowned. "Anyway," Petunia continued. "We'll be having the wedding at Vernon's parents' house. And everything will be pale pink and there will be lace everywhere. And…"

"Can I bring a guest?" Lily asked suddenly.

Petunia looked at Vernon and smiled. "You know, Lily," she had that saccharine look on her face again. "I'm just not sure we'll have enough food for _more_ guests…"

"Petunia," George interjected; giving his 20-year-old daughter a look he had probably stopped using when she was 15. "I think it would rather nice for Lily to have a friend around to help her celebrate your marriage."

Petunia inhaled quickly and Vernon grunted. "Very well then, perhaps we can squeeze in one more. If they're willing to stand during the ceremony."

Lily smiled and went back to her food; dreaming about the mayhem James could cause at Petunia's wedding before he took her to the side of the house for a furious snogging session.

It was quite a nice fantasy, really.

* * *

"You're telling me pork pies," James exclaimed as he caught his snitch.

Sirius shook his head. "That's what she said."

The two were sitting in James' room at the Potter mansion in Godric's Hollow. It was the largest bedroom on the 2nd floor, situated at the end of the hall. A large, carved mahogany four-poster bed stood in the center of a room painted a warm cream color. A desk and chair of the same wood stood in front of a huge window looking out over a large lawn beyond which was an expanse of forest. The wall opposite the window was completely covered with posters celebrating the Montrose Magpies, James' favorite Quidditch team. James was lying on his back on top of the very expensive-looking blue velvet coverlet on his bed throwing and catching his snitch. Sirius was lounging on a blue chair in the corner opposite the door and next to James' untouched-looking bookshelf.

"I still can't believe she shagged you that night," James sat up.

Sirius grinned. "Right there on the sofa in front of the fireplace."

"Remind me never to sit there again," James said. "No wonder you were so keen to make up with us the next morning."

"I'm sorry you don't understand the way it makes a bloke feel," Sirius said with an evil glint in his eye.

"Just because I haven't _actually_ shagged a girl doesn't mean I can't _imagine_ what it's like," James said defensively.

"Especially what it's like with Evans," he smirked. "Do you think that she's got red hair...you know…_everywhere_?"

James threw the snitch at Sirius. It hit him hard in the chest.

"Well do you?"

"Shut up Sirius," James lay back down on the bed; allowing his thoughts to drift to Lily Evans and the hair on her naughty bits.

After he had been silent for awhile, Sirius laughed out loud. "You're thinking about it, aren't you? Do I need to leave so you could have a wank about it?"

James left his imagination and returned to his room with Sirius. "Oh get over yourself," he growled. "You're not nearly as witty as you seem to think you are. Have you noticed that Dorcas Meadowes doesn't want to talk to you?"

"At least I know what color the hair on her naughty bits is," he winked back. "And I got to check a second time."

"You truly are a toffee-nosed arsehole, Sirius Black," James laughed.

"Well, Mr. Potter," he said. "Exactly what are you?"

"I don't care. Evans doesn't hate me. So I don't care," he smiled at the thought as Sirius threw the snitch at his head.


	19. Chapter 19

Dorcas Meadowes was not an idiot. She knew exactly what would have happened if she and Sirius had just continued down the road they had been on before. They would have continued their cathartic shagging and eventually, she would have fallen for him; diluting herself enough to believe that it was Sirius and not the physical pleasure that let her release the emotions she bottled inside of her. Then, of course, when he shagged some other girl (which she knew would happen sooner or later), he would have broken her heart. If she had suggested an actual relationship, she knew Sirius would have bolted; convinced that she was just another one of his many groupies. Besides, Dorcas didn't want a relationship herself. They were complicated and messy and always ended badly. Look at what had happened with Cade. Dorcas was not about to walk into that again. By defining exactly what their relationship would be, she was protecting herself. She would be able to remain detached.

So when Sirius and James arrived back at the Griffindor common room after two weeks of vacation, she was able to confidently smile at both of them, walk over, and calmly ask how their holiday had been.

"Absolutely spiffing," James said; waiting to see how Sirius would react to Dorcas.

"Good," he smiled at her. "How was yours?" Sirius asked, still smiling at her.

"Very nice, thank you," she said, somewhat guardedly. "I saw my brother, Milton, and his new wife, Urania. They were married over Christmas."

James and Sirius glanced at each other; both trying to hide their burgeoning laughter.

"Are you surprised," she wore her half-smile. "My name is Dorcas, isn't it?"

Sirius broke first; a bark of laughter resonating against the common room walls. Soon James had joined him. Dorcas crossed her arms and rolled her eyes; waiting for the boys to get over it.

"Your sister-in-law's name is really _Urania­_?" Sirius managed to get out.

"Yes," she said in a blasé tone. "Serious."

James grinned at Dorcas and then slapped a defeated-looking Sirius on the back. She wore a smug expression as she mentioned that she had promised to meet Lily in the Great Hall.

"So…" James said after she had left.

"So what?" Sirius looked unconcerned.

"So, she's funny," James smiled.

"Not that funny."

* * *

Within their first two weeks back, three more attacks took place. Each time Sirius and Dorcas came to each other and each time they separated as fast as they had connected; welcoming the deep sleep that always followed. Most of the 6th year Gryffindors had figured out what was going on; at least that Dorcas Meadowes and Sirius Black were now shagging on a regular basis. When Annabelle returned for the first time after Easter holidays, she had loudly complained to Gwen about the fact that she and Owen had walked in on the couple one night. Right in front of Dorcas. Dorcas, of course, had always been impervious to their opinions, and would continue to be. Lily's opinion, however, had some impact.

"I think what you're doing is horribly dangerous, Dorcas." She had whispered to her one day in Potions. "You're playing with fire."

"Hardly," she had said, calmly sliding a frog's leg into her cauldron.

"What happens when Sirius gets tired of you?" Lily asked. "You know he will."

"What's to say I won't get tired of him?"

"Dorcas…"

"Lily," she said firmly, but without emotion. "I'll be fine."

"I just don't want you to get your heart broken."

"Nothing is happening between Sirius and me other than the physical act of sex," she said scientifically. "My heart isn't even involved."

"I don't believe a word of that." Lily poured freshly pressed pomegranate juice into her deep purple concoction and it immediately turned blood red. "No matter what you say, you're invested in this."

Dorcas shrugged slightly and stirred her potion.

Lily sighed and did the same.

* * *

The week after the return to Hogwarts was the Quidditch final between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. James had been increasingly nervous as the week had progressed; zoning in and out of classes even more than usual. The night before the match, he was sitting in the Common Room, pouring over a notebook packed with Quidditch plays when Lily Evans had descended the girls' staircase. She was dressed in her muggle clothes: denim bell-bottoms and a lilac tee-shirt. The color was amazing in that it brought out the color in both her hair and her eyes. She seemed to James to float down the stairs; like some heavenly being sent down just for him.

He swallowed hard as she reached the bottom of the stairs, walked to the table he was sitting at and sat down across from him. He tried hard not to think about what she would look like if that purple thing was on the floor instead. She smiled at him and he ran a hand through his hair.

"Evans," he nodded; trying to go back to his Quidditch notes.

"Hi James," she said softly. "I just wanted to wish you good luck with the final tommorow. I'll be watching, you know."

James felt a little queasy as he looked up at her and smiled. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," she stood and began to walk back to the stairs.

Watching her saunter back and forth, James' tongue poked the inside of his mouth. He had to ask her out again.

"Lily," he called. "Wait."

"Wi…" he started. But as he looked at Lily's open face, he remembered the last beating he had taken from her that night in the Astronomy Tower. He didn't want to see that anger directed at him again. "Will you ask Annabelle to come down? I need to talk to her about a play."

Lily nodded after a short hesitation. "Alright," she said quietly and turning back to the stairs.

James groaned and put his head down on the table.

* * *

"GRIFFINDOR ROCKS!" Sirius and Remus had rigged the tapestry on the wall of the Griffindor common room to flash the message in red and gold letters.

The Quidditch final had been awfully close. James had breathed a sigh of relief when Madam Hooch hadn't seen Evelyn's violent elbow to Catherine Summers' side right before she dove for the snitch. The party had begun immediately after the match; Peter appearing with food nicked from the kitchen and Sirius pulling a couple of bottles of firewhiskey from somewhere.

"You do know what will happen if we get caught with that," Lily shook her head at him. "You're already in serious danger of being expelled, you know."

"Oh relax Evans," Sirius took a rather long swig on the bottle he was holding and winked. "Want a sip?"

She shook her head and rolled her eyes. She was more audibly annoyed when Remus arrived about a half an hour later with an entire case of the stuff.

Most of her attention, however, was focused on James, who was every Gryffindor's favorite that night. Lily was surprised that he actually seemed embarrassed at all of the attention. He wasn't smirking or posing or giving Sirius gratuitous high-fives. He just stood there in a fresh tee-shirt and jeans; a goofy grin on his face as he graciously thanked people who congratulated him. It cemented her new opinion of James and she smiled slightly at him.

His performance during the Quidditch match had brought her surprisingly intense emotions. She had screamed when he almost fell off of his broom dodging a bludger. Dorcas had looked at her from the corner of her eye and smirked a little. Lily had smacked her. Whenever he had gotten the quaffle through one of the hoops, she had jumped up and down in pure excitement and pride. Dorcas had glanced at her again when she had almost fallen over. Lily had told her to shut up.

Dorcas was in the corner; laughing with Remus about something. Sirius was smirking at her from across the room; the alcohol starting to slur his speech. She raised her eyebrows as he approached her, wobbling.

"I was wondering," he was trying to be smooth but he stumbled and fell onto her. She laughed slightly as she pushed him back onto his feet.

She shook her head; smiling slightly. "Not when you're this tossed off."

Remus clicked his tongue. "Sorry mate," he clapped his hand on Sirius' back.

"Just go ask one of your drinking buddies," she suggested somewhat sarcastically; gesturing to the group of girls that had long since joined Sirius and his firewhiskey.

He looked somewhat hurt and pouted drunkenly; his gray eyes squinting. The he nodded unevenly and turned around.

"Takes quite a girl to refuse Sirius Black," Remus laughed.

"Even a drunk one?" she asked.

Lily was sitting at a table with Annabelle and Owen chatting animatedly as James approached her from behind. Her red hair served as a sort of a beacon to him.

"And when you saved that last shot, Owen," she laughed. "I was so excited I nearly knocked Dorcas to the ground."

James cleared his throat loudly. Lily turned around and looked up at him. She smiled broadly. James wasn't sure how to react to acceptance from Lily Evans.

"Hi James," she said.

"Hi," he grunted. "Mind if I join you?"

"No," she shook her head and pointed to the empty chair next to her. "Here."

He fiddled with the chair awkwardly and finally sat down; hyper-aware of the fact that Lily Evans was sitting next to him and not trying to get away.

"Congratulations!" she smiled at him; her green eyes shining. "You were brilliant today."

Suddenly James' collar felt very tight. He would have sworn she had somehow performed a shrinking spell when he was staring at her eyes. "Thanks," he smiled, pulling at his tee-shirt and swallowing. "It was nothing, really. Towler and the Idle here did just as much as I did."

"As I much as I would like to take that compliment," Owen laughed. "We all know that Potter here is the reason we won. He was the one who came up with that dive Sloper used to get to the snitch."

James looked at his shoes, then up at Lily. He mirrored her open smile

"It was a great dive," she said, her lips remaining open at the end of the phrase.

"Well," Annabelle looked the eye contact between James and Lily and stood; grabbing Owen by the arm. "We're going to leave the two of you alone."

"Wha…?" Owen was confused.

"Come on Owen," she smiled slyly. "Dorcas and Sirius are still downstairs."

Owen popped up quite suddenly and the couple scurried up the boys' staircase.

Lily smiled slightly as she watched the two of them. James just stared at her.

"So," she turned back to face him; a smirk on her face. "What do think they're about to do?"

_"What I want to do with you"_ James wanted to say. Instead he just laughed. "Well I guess they have to seize the opportunity while they can."

"Has Sirius told you about their _arrangement_?" Lily asked; a rather disgusted look on her face.

He nodded, smiling. "He seems to be enjoying it."

"Well of course he would," Lily's lips turned to a scowl. "Dorcas is an idiot."

It was nice to see Lily scowling at someone else for a change.

"How was your holiday?" he changed the subject. While he didn't mind Lily angry with someone else, James was terrified that soon the anger would be directed at him.

"Oh fine," she said quickly; leaving out the part about how she had thought about him the entire time. "My sister's engaged."

James smiled, eager to keep this positive track going. "That's nice."

She scoffed. "Not quite. He's the biggest tosser in Christendom."

James laughed a little too loudly. "What a thing to say about your future brother," he put a hand to his chest mockingly.

Lily laughed back. James was shocked. Lily Evans had just laughed at something he'd said. And she wasn't making fun of him.


	20. Chapter 20

Sirius went to bed alone that night. He wasn't really sure why. He just did. He had been making out with some 7th year, also drunk, but found he really didn't want to shag her. It must have been the booze. When he woke up that afternoon, he had the most massive headache. How much had he had last night?

* * *

The month of May brought with it the sun and an explosion of green on the grounds. The boys, even the newly-reformed James, were skiving off all sorts of classes. They found it was rather nice to go back to regular final exams after the insanity of O.W.L.'s the year before. It made skiving so much easier.

The first attacks of the month hit the 6th years hard. William Seymour was rushed home to visit his Aunt Francine at St. Mungo's one afternoon. Another 6th year Ravenclaw, Phillipa Gettilfinger, left 4 days later.

When Dorcas stood up from her spot on the couch next to Lily that night and pulled Sirius upstairs and away from the table he had been sharing with James, Remus, and Peter, Lily looked up at the other abandoned friends. Remus had his nose in a book and Peter was excitedly asking James questions. Lily imagined they had something to do with Sirius and Dorcas' activities. James had a slight smile and was answering them with an occasional laugh. She honed in on him; loving the way his shoulders shook when he was trying not to laugh at Peter and the way lips curled up at the ends. He looked up at her and smiled broadly. She returned it and stood; making her way to the table.

"Were you abandoned too?" he asked when she arrived.

She nodded; sitting in the chair next to James that Sirius had left empty. "It seems they have found better ways of dealing with grief than by talking."

He laughed. One short loud guffaw. "I think its working though," he said. "Sirius has been annoyingly chipper lately."

Lily smiled. "I know, Dorcas is even smugger than usual." Then, for some unknown reason, this came out of Lily's mouth. "Want to try it?"

James' entire body froze. Remus and Peter both stared at her; gaping. Lily was just as surprised by the words that had come out of her mouth.

"I'm joking, of course," she tried to laugh it off.

James laughed weakly; recovering himself. Then he broke it a huge, rather mischievous grin.

"What?" Lily asked.

"If I had said that, you would have hexed me into next week."

"I would not have," she said; rather offended. "You know, James, I thought we were actually becoming friends and then you make a comment like _that." _

She stood, hurumphing proudly as she did.

"Oh shut up and sit back down, Lily," Remus rolled his eyes. "You know you would have."

Lily looked at Remus in shock. "I… I…" He smiled at her and raised his eyebrows. Then she sighed and sat back down. "Alright, I would have."

James was still smiling and Remus was looking at Lily very strangely.

"Oh stop it," she rolled her eyes.

* * *

Sirius kissed Dorcas' wet mouth hard one last time as he pulled out gently. Then he rolled off of her to lay face up on the left side of his bed. Dorcas exhaled loudly and then sat up; immediately grabbing the bra that lie on the pillow right above her head. She was beginning to fiddle with the straps when Sirius looked over at her.

"Wait," he said, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Stay for a little while."

She looked at him strangely; almost fearfully. "Why?"

"I don't know," he propped himself up on one elbow to face her. "Just stay."

She put her bra back down on the bed. "Do you want to do it again?" she asked.

He shrugged. "If you want."

Dorcas was silent and her proud head was held high in deep thought.

"Oh just stay," he rolled his eyes; sitting up and looking her in the eye.

"Can I at least put my clothes on?" she asked. He nodded. She scrambled around the bed for a few minutes with Sirius watching her pull on her knickers, jeans, bra, and tee-shirt. He pulled his jeans on so not to be the weird naked one in the bed. When they were both satisfactorily covered, they lay back down on the bed face-up. They weren't touching and Dorcas had her arms crossed over her chest.

Sirius sighed and looked up at the red canopy over his head. He couldn't remember why he had asked her to stay. There was a heavy awkwardness in the air around them. He turned and propped his head up with his left elbow. Dorcas looked tense.

"I saw my brother today," he said suddenly; not really even to her. "I haven't spoken to him in a year."

She uncrossed her arms and turned her head to look up at him. "I didn't know you had a brother."

Sirius nodded. "He's in Slytherin. 4th year. Regulus is his name."

She was silent; but continued to look up at his eyes, which were now focused on the post near her feet.

"He's my mother's favorite." Sirius said quickly. "He's into that whole pure-blood pride thing like the rest of the lot."

"What happened?" she asked.

Sirius shrugged. "Not much really. We had just heard about Phillipa and I saw him walk into the Great Hall with a bunch of people: Rosier, Montague, you know the crowd. They were laughing. Then he looked at me and sort of frowned. And that was it."

"I'm sorry," she murmured softly.

Sirius scoffed. "You don't have to be sorry, it doesn't mean anything. I've made up for Regulus with James."

"I'm sorry," she repeated.

Sirius was silent. He lay back down. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek and then was gone.

* * *

The last few weeks of term flew by as every student struggled to teach themselves the stuff they had been ignoring since January. Exams came and went in a flurry of excitement. The Gryffindors all passed their subjects, though Lily was a bit disappointed in her Arithmancy grade.

"I can't believe I only got a 93," she had roared; almost throwing her book against the wall of the girls' dormitory.

Dorcas didn't tell her that she'd received a 97

Before they knew it, it was time for the end-of-year feast. The Great Hall was decorated in blue and bronze since Ravenclaw had won the house cup that year. No amount of Quidditch cup points could make up for the obscene amount of points McGonagall had taken for Sirius' stunt in April. The festivities were still ultimately enjoyable for the Gryffindors. James and Sirius kept charming the Ravenclaws' goblets to squeak "Gryffindor is still better" everytime they went to take a drink. It wasn't exactly a subtle stunt. The entire Ravenclaw table had turned to glare at the two of them when a rather scared 3rd year had dropped the glass to the floor and it had shattered.

"We are in a magical institution," James had said. "They should know these kinds of things are bound to happen."

* * *

The next day, everyone hauled their trunks down to Hogwarts station to meet the train which would take them to King's Cross. James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily, and Dorcas found a compartment near the middle of the train. After they had all gotten settled, Remus and Lily hurried off to the prefect compartment at the front of the train.

"It'll only take a few minutes, Dorcas," Lily promised; somewhat sorry that she was leaving the girl alone with those particular boys.

"Its fine," she shrugged. "Take your time."

"Alright," Lily looked at James and Sirius, especially Sirius, and then disappeared.

"She doesn't like what we're doing," Dorcas said flatly.

"I figured," Sirius leaned back against the wall; stretching out his long legs and crossing his ankles.

"Speaking of things Lily wouldn't like," James said. "Does she know about the first deal the two of you made?"

Dorcas shook her head. "I haven't told her."

"Well could you?" he said, leaning forward, his brow furrowing a little. "And make sure she understands I had absolutely nothing to do with it."

Sirius put a hand on his friend's back. "Tying up loose ends before you pop the question again, huh?"

James shrugged Sirius' hand off and scowled. "I like being able to talk to Lily Evans without her biting my head off. I don't want her finding out about that stupid idea and hating me again."

"I'll talk to her," Dorcas said, nodding.

"Good Luck," Sirius smirked.

"You're coming with me," she said simply.

"What?" Sirius popped up.

"It was your idea. You're coming with me."

Sirius scowled.

When Lily and Remus returned, Dorcas stood and took Lily outside of the compartment; glancing at Sirius as she walked. James punched his shoulder.

"Better go, mate."

Sirius grumbled and stood up. He slid open the compartment door and joined Lily and Dorcas.

"What is it?" Lily asked, looking up at the two noticeably taller people standing in front of her.

"Well," Dorcas said. "Do you remember how in November, Cade Bradley and Sirius were in that fight because Sirius had shagged Julia Connors?"

Lily laughed and nodded. "Yeah."

"Well, the reason he shagged her was because I asked him to."

"You have a thing for strange sexual arrangements, Dorcas, don't you?"

Dorcas smiled slightly and then looked up at Sirius expectantly. "Well, he wanted something in return…"

"Is that why you're shagging him now?" Lily asked; looking rather bored.

Dorcas kept looking at Sirius, her eyebrows raised. He glanced angrily at her; as if she was asking him to shake Snape's hand.

Finally, the stalemate ended and her dark eyes broke him. "I asked Dorcas to give me information on you. James had nothing to do with it." He glared at her again. "If it helps, she didn't really give me anything good."

"The whole thing stopped after we fought in April," Dorcas said to Lily's somewhat confused face.

"Well you two are full of great ideas," Lily chuckled.

Sirius looked at her in surprise. "So you don't care?"

She shrugged. "Not really, you have been analyzing everything I've done since 4th year, Black. And you, Dorcas, well if this whole undercover bit stopped two months ago, then….. it really doesn't matter."

Sirius grinned. Dorcas smiled with her lips closed. Lily shrugged again. They all returned to the compartment.

"James'll be glad to hear that." Sirius muttered to Dorcas.

* * *

When they reached King's Cross and began to say goodbye for three months, James took Lily aside.

"Hey," he smiled nervously. "I was wondering if…well…if I write to you this summer, will you write back?"

Lily thought about the piles of letters she had received from James the past two summers and how she had unceremoniously burned them in the stove.

She nodded. "Sure."

He broke out into a huge smile. "Alright," he said.

They stood there awkwardly looking at their shoes for a few seconds before Lily threw her arms around James' shoulders. He wrapped his around her waist and they embraced for a few seconds. When they separated, Lily was blushing and James looked down at his shoes. "Have a good summer," he said.

"You too," she murmured before she turned around and walked to her parents.

It was going to be a great summer


	21. Chapter 21

James Potter lasted a total of three days before he owled Lily.

_Dear Lily,_

_Just wondering how your journey home went. Mine was fine. We apparated home from King's Cross and Sirius almost splinched himself. I've had a wonderful time railing him about it. It's been awfully hot but we've been playing a great deal of Quidditch. (Another thing I can rail Sirius about). Dorcas showed up here last night after that attack in Hartfordshire. Thank Merlin she slipped out before my parents saw her, although they did have quite a few questions when they saw that the fireplace in Sirius' room had been recently used. We ended up telling them that Sirius had to burn that love letters that were so numerous they almost filled his room. My father winked at him and my mother laughed before I asked him who had visited him. I think she'll be apparating from now on. I didn't even see Dorcas. Sirius could be lying to me. Somehow, I don't think he is._

_Answer soon,_

_James_

_Dear James,_

_I was really happy to get your letter so soon. I'm glad you're enjoying your summer. There was an attack in Hartfordshire? I really should start having The Daily Prophet delivered. Everything around here has been revolving around the wedding. Last night during dinner, I had to listen to Petunia discuss which pattern of lace she should put up around the gazebo for a quarter of an hour. I almost threw up in my gazpacho. I've been mocking the whole thing with my father, but he does care a little, so sometimes he gets angry with me. I hope you don't mind mocking the whole ridiculous charade with me in our letters. I'm sure you don't. _

_I'm sorry you have to deal with the Dorcas/Sirius situation. If it was me, I'd hold watch in his room and shoo her away every time she showed up. I just know this whole thing is going to end badly. She's going to end up heart-broken. Don't tell Sirius I said so, but you have to admit it. _

_I have to go. Vermin is here for dinner._

_Lily_

_Dear Lily,_

_I'll send you my copy of The Daily Prophet anytime anything happens. You should know what's going on. I'm awfully sorry about your sister, but think, in two months, she'll be gone. After that, you don't have to talk to her or Vermin ever again if you don't want to. You're right about Sirius and Dorcas. I'm afraid of how it'll end too. I think he's getting more and more expectant. There was an attack yesterday on the Gregors and they all got away. He wanted to whether or not I thought she would come. She didn't. He was devastated. _

_What sort of lace did Petunia end up choosing?_

_James_

James and Lily continued their letter-writing. It escalated so much that by mid-July they were speaking at least every other day. One blistering day after Lily had been drug to a bridal shop to watch Petunia be fitted for her horrid wedding gown, she sat down to write James a letter. When she finished it fifteen minutes later, she read it over again three times. She folded it and was about to seal it, but unfolded it instead to read it one last time.

_"Relax Lily,"_ she told herself and put the letter down.

A set look on her face, she folded the letter again and sealed it. She held it in her right hand tightly. She stared at it and took a deep breath. Putting the parchment back on her desk, she began pacing her shag-carpeted room. After another twenty minutes of serious consideration, Lily finally gave the letter to her tawny owl, Declan. The minute he had flown out of the window, she wished he would come back.

It took James two days to answer Lily's letter and the anticipation had been killing her. She ripped it open the minute Declan dropped it onto her bed.

_Dear Lily,_

_I'd love to go to your sister's wedding with you_. _I thought you'd never ask. I'm very curious to see this lace that seems so important. And I guess it will be nice to see you too. I can just apparate on the 15th. I suppose I'm going to have to wear a muggle suit. Oh, the things I do for you, Evans. By the way, can I get angry and scream about how horrible you are now? You are far too clever! And your hair…IT'S RED! You great red-headed genius! Sorry, I couldn't resist. Don't worry about your parents. It won't be strange to meet them, honestly._

_After the wedding, maybe you could come with Sirius and I to Diagon Alley. We're meeting Remus and Peter and we'll be staying there until the 1st. It would nice to have you around. Dorcas will probably show up at some point if you get bored with the rest of us._

_Love,_

_James _

Lily immediately broke into a huge smile.

* * *

"How do I look?" James asked. He was dressed in a gray polyester suit with a white dress shirt and a wide blue tie he had picked up from a muggle shop in a nearby village. The formal attire clashed horribly with his mussed-up hair, but his hazel eyes were burning with excitement behind his glasses.

Sirius laughed from his arrogant pose on James' bed; sticking his tongue behind his bottom lip. "Completely bloody ridiculous."

James threw a quill lying nearby at him. "Come on, don't be a prat about it."

Sirius dodged the quill and continued laughing. He shrugged. "I suppose you look like a muggle going to a wedding."

"Good," James turned and surveyed himself in the full-length mirror. He took a deep breath. "I can't believe this is actually happening. I'm going on a date with Lily Evans."

Sirius grinned. "Congratulations mate."

James took another breath. "What are you doing tonight?"

Sirius shrugged. "I was thinking about going into the village and playing tricks on the muggle girls. Lure them into the woods as a wounded dog."

James continued examining himself in the mirror. He frowned a little. "Dorcas isn't coming?"

"How many times do I have to tell you, Prongs?" Sirius scoffed. "That's not what we do."

"She still hasn't shown up, has she?" James turned to look at his friend, who was now lying on his back.

"No," Sirius said quietly. And after a few seconds, "Of course, I don't really care. I just thought she might have come after the Youngsons were killed."

James looked at his friend; he had a rather disappointed look on his handsome face. "Why don't you write her?" he asked.

Sirius sat up and looked at James as if his head had just turned into a grindylow.

"Right," James rolled his eyes. "That's not what you do."

He turned back to the mirror and ran a hand down his wide lapel. He bit a lip and shut his eyes for a second; trying to relax.

"You ready?" Sirius asked.

James exhaled, stood there for a second, and then nodded.

"Well then," Sirius smirked. "What are you loafing around for?"

James smiled at his best friend and with a pop, he was gone.

James arrived in the front yard of the Bones' house (the closest place he knew well enough to use as an apparition destination) easily and, thankful that no one was home, began the trek through the trees. Ten minutes later, he emerged to a small country road, where he had arranged to meet Lily and her father.

Looking down at himself, he quickly murmured a few cleaning and mending spells to fix a tear in his coat and the huge dirt stain near the hem of his pants. The Evanses weren't there yet, but James was too nervous to do anything but stand there, occasionally messing up his hair. He felt his stomach drop as an old brown hatchback turned the corner. When it stopped, James thought he was going to faint. But when the back door opened and a red-headed goddess dressed in a long deep purple dress exited the car and smiled directly at him, James' heart felt as if it would burst right out of his chest. She seemed to walk to him in slow motion. He detected every movement she made; from the swing of her long, loose hair, the crinkling of her deep green eyes as she smiled at him, the way the material clung to her and the way her hips switched her weight from one leg to the other, all the way down to her arched foot in the heels. James felt as if he had seen her for the first time all over again.

"Hi," she said; enthusiastically throwing her arms around him. James grabbed her waist tightly; holding her to his chest tightly and feeling her chest rise and fall against him

"Hi," he said breathlessly when they had separated. "You look…amazing."

She looked down and smiled. "You look pretty good yourself."

"Really," he smirked. "I feel ridiculous."

She laughed a little too loudly. "Come on," she motioned to the car. "The ceremony starts in an hour. My dad has to be there in twenty minutes."

"Alright," he said. Automatically, he offered her his hand. She looked at it for a second and then up at him. Then slowly, she slid her hand inside his. It fit perfectly. She smiled again; more broadly this time and right into his eyes. He returned the gesture; falling head first into pools of deep green.

They walked to the car slowly; trying to savor the moment. James couldn't pull his eyes from her. The smile on her face was so huge it looked almost painful.

George Evans had stepped out of the car and had a small smile on his face. He nodded at the 17-year-old holding his daughter's hand.

Reluctantly, James let go of Lily's hand and shook George's hand. "Hello sir," he said, looking the man in the eyes. "I'm James Potter."

George shook back. "Nice grip, son," he commended James. "I always like a good handshake."

"It's the first thing my father taught me about introducing myself," he smiled. "Always have a firm grip. Shows strength of character."

"Your father sounds like a wise man. Let's get going. I have to go keep Petunia from crying too much." He made a face, "Although I would cry too if I was marrying that _vermin_."

James wasn't sure if he should laugh so he smiled slightly instead and opened the back door for Lily. She beamed at him and climbed in. Feeling an immeasurable surge of pride, James slipped in after her and closed the door.

* * *

The ceremony took place in a small church next to a mini-mart. The decorations were ludicrous, really. The aisle was completely covered in the gaudiest lace anyone had ever seen, the pews were decorated with fake baby pink and orange daisies and shoots of some sort of grass. Every arrangement drooped into more lace. The altar was covered in lace.

"So," James whispered, as the vicar walked to the front of the church, "You weren't kidding about the lace."

Soon Vernon had followed him along with a similarly husky man with grubby brown hair. They were dressed in orange leisure suits complete with ruffled dress shirts and matching bow ties. Music began and an enormous blonde blob completely enveloped in baby pink lace began to walk down the aisle. Lily had to clap a hand to her mouth to keep herself from laughing.

James looked similarly amused and whispered, "I think that's more lace than there is in this entire building."

Lily had glared at him to get him to stop making her laugh more. As the doors opened, everyone stood. Lily felt the closeness of James acutely as he stood next to her. His chest was right there; it would be so easy to fall onto it.

Petunia walked down the aisle on her father's arm. She was also dressed in about a thousand yards of lace. Her white dress was complete with bell sleeves, scoop neck, and long train. She carried a bouquet of those pink and orange daisies. Lily had to admit that with her blonde hair down, softening her usually harsh face, and a sincere smile on her face, Petunia did look beautiful. And when the couple stood at the front of the church, they looked happy.

The vows went off without a hitch. Well, except when James had leaned over and whispered, "I take thee, vermin" in Lily's ear. She had laughed out loud and Petunia had turned to give her the most hateful look. Lily had bit her lip, mouthed sorry, and then stuck her fist in her mouth.

* * *

"So," James said, as he sat with Lily at a folding card table covered in pink lace in a backyard filled with more tables covered in pink lace. "That's a muggle wedding."

She nodded, her eyes laughing.

"I must say I prefer the wizarding version."

"What happens at a wizard wedding?" she asked, leaning slightly forward.

"Well," he smiled; mussing up his hair. "All the friends of the bride and groom perform all sorts of protective and luck spells. Which ones always depends on the people involved. Then the couple holds hands."

"Like this," Lily grabbed the hand that lay on the table.

He shook his head and took her other hand. Then he laid his hands on the table palm side up. She placed her smaller hands on top so that their palms touched. He curled his longer fingers up around her wrists, locking eyes with her. Lily swallowed hard; staring intently at James

"Like that." He said; his eyes glazing over. "The guests form a circle around them and then they all say "Tojourium Amortio." It's the marriage charm." He began to caress her wrists with his fingers. She sucked in a lot of air and her eyes blinked. "It binds two people in love together forever. After that, their spirits are one. Of course, they both do have to be truly in love for it to work."

Lily's lips parted as James finished. "That's beautiful," she said. Her stomach dropped with James' head as he bent to kiss the back of her right hand.

"It is," he nodded, biting his lip.

They were both breathless and silent for a moment; waiting for something to happen. James had just begun to lean forward when a loud voice rang out.

"SPEECH TIME," Lily was jerked from James' eyes and turned her head to see her drunk Uncle Gregory waving a champagne bottle in his hand and yelling.

"I reckon we should go listen," she said, turning back to James.

He nodded; looking a little disappointed. They stood and walked over to the long rectangular table with both pink and orange lace covering it. Vernon's best man, a secondary school mate by the name of Tom, spoke.

"I'd like to congratulate Vernon and Petunia on their commitment. Vernon has been a good mate for a long time and I'm happy to see him happy..."

Tom should not be making speeches. Lily and James exchanged glances; daring each other to laugh. Finally, James grabbed Lily's hand and they snuck to the very back of the crowd. James discreetly pulled his wand out of his coat pocket.

"James," she whispered harshly. "What if someone sees you?"

He smirked. "They won't, I promise." Holding his wand tightly, he murmured a quick banishing charm. Immediately all of the lace covering the tables was hurled by some force at Tom.

"I can't wait to see him even happier in the future on the happy events celebrating ha…" Tom was suddenly knocked over by the attack of the lace. Lily almost fell over she was laughing so hard. Vernon stood up immediately and began digging his friend out. Petunia immediately burst into tears; scanning the crowd. When her angry eyes found Lily and James, James grabbed Lily's hand.

"Come on," he whispered, laughing himself.

He pulled her to a small abandoned garden on the side of the house. Overgrown rose bushes surrounded a semi-circle of cement. Lily was still laughing hysterically, but gave James a disciplinary glance when they stopped running. "How're they going to explain that?"

James shrugged innocently. "The wind?"

"She's going to hate you forever, you know," Lily's laughter had begun to subside and now she smiled up at him instead.

"I think I can live with that," James smirked as he caressed Lily's face with his eyes, turned to face her more directly, and tightened his grip on her hand.

Lily stopped laughing. He was getting closer. With every move he made, Lily's heart beat faster. When his other calloused hand found its way to her cheek, she gasped a little and locked eyes with him. His hazel eyes were glazed over as he gently stroked her face.

"Lily," he whispered, his lips remaining in their final position after pronouncing her names. Her lips parted in response; everything but James was going blurry. She was going to faint. She knew it.

Her breathing was uneven when he dropped her hand and his fingers arrived under her chin and tipped it up a little. And then, he leaned in. Closer and closer he came. Soon his lips were on hers, pressing hard. She went up on her toes to reach him better; wrapping her arms around his neck and mussing his hair up for him. His arms encircled her waist and he leaned down to press against her harder. Their lips parted together and they gasped in unison. He bent his head forward so that their foreheads touched. Lily stroked the back of his neck and he leaned his head back; catching her bottom lip in his mouth. Her fingers raked through his hair and when their lips had lined up again, she pressed against his with her tongue and then, when he let her in, she stroked his tongue affectionately with her own. His hands explored her back, her shoulder blades, her neck, her hair.

Finally they separated; relaxing into an embrace.

"You pulled that stunt on purpose so you could snog me. Didn't you Potter?" she placed a hand on his chest.

"Do you really care?" he asked cheekily

"No," she smiled. "I'm just angry that I could have had that for three years and I didn't."

James laughed and kissed her again.


	22. Chapter 22

After that day, it was quite clear that Lily would be joining the boys on their excursion to Diagon Alley beginning six days later. Both she and James had been on some cloud for the days following Petunia and Vernon's wedding. Sirius had to jostle James out of his dream world too many times than he cared to count. He was eager to get to Diagon Alley and see someone besides this love-struck James. Sirius was restless for another reason. He hadn't seen Dorcas in four weeks despite the countless attacks since then. James told him that he missed her. James' brain was damaged by an unhealthy amount of day-dreaming about Lily Evans.

The day before they were to depart the Potter Mansion, a large tawny owl brought two letters bearing a H.

"Those will be your Hogwarts letters boys," Geraldine Potter said, as the four were sitting at the long table in the dining room for breakfast.

Sirius opened his in between bites of poached eggs. It was exactly what he had expected: a letter, a book list. There was, however, another notice about the Leaver's Ball at the end of the year and a pamphlet about why an of-age wizard should finish school. Sirius threw the papers to the side of his plate and kept eating.

"Is that what I think it is, son?" Douglas Potter said excitedly.

Sirius looked up. Mr. and Mrs. Potter were both glancing expectantly over their glasses. James looked dumbfounded. His jaw had dropped. In one hand were the same papers Sirius had received. In his left hand was a shiny badge. James was staring at it.

"Alright James?" Sirius asked.

"I'm Head Boy," James said; still staring at the badge. "I was sure it would be Moony or Bradley."

The Potters both burst up and hurried around the table so they could hug James from both sides. James looked at Sirius. Sirius smiled. "Good week, huh Potter?"

James smiled hugely and nodded.

* * *

The first few days at Diagon Alley were blissful for the five friends. James and Lily had burst into a snogging session in front of the rest of them when they saw each other; exclaiming about how wonderful it was they were Head Boy and Girl. Remus had cleared his throat loudly three times before they stopped. Sirius and James told everyone about their summer adventures, especially Sirius' discovery of a new brand of firewiskey. Remus told them about his trip to Madagascar; where werewolves are everywhere. Peter had spent the summer pranking his little sister and told them of his successes and failures. He would never try a shocking spell in the bathroom again.

On their six day, in between shopping and playing tricks on shopkeepers, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were sitting in front of Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor enjoying the sun and the free sundaes that Sirius was able to get from the girl at the counter.

"7th year," Remus said. "Sure went by fast, didn't it?"

Sirius smiled, basking in the pale English sun. "Yeah, it did."

"Depressing really," Peter frowned at the remains of his ice cream.

"Relax Wormtail," Sirius rolled his eyes. "We've still got one more year, and it'll be the best one yet. With James as Head Boy, can you imagine all the things we'll be able to get away with?"

"With James snogging Lily, do you think they'll even notice?" Remus laughed.

Sirius laughed, leaning back in his chair, stretching his legs and crossing his ankles. Suddenly a figure caught his eye. He sat up suddenly, like a dog who had just smelled something.

She was walking out of Flourish and Blotts carrying a parcel. He immediately knew that walk: her shoulders back so far it was almost ridiculous, her head held a little too high, her strides just a bit too long. And the expression on her face: a mysterious half-smile.

Sirius stood and almost ran to Dorcas. When he reached her, he couldn't help but smile hugely. "Where have you been?" he asked, throwing his arms around her.

"Hello Sirius," she said; smiling a little and ducking out of his embrace as quickly as possible.

"Hello," he said; his face betraying his confusion at this greeting. "Well, where have you been?"

"How's the end of your summer been?" she asked, intent on changing the subject.

"Fine," he said, shrugging. "Lily and James are finally dating."

"That's nice," she said quickly and a little nervously. "I'm glad."

Sirius stuck his tongue between his teeth and narrowed his eyes.

"And how are Remus and Peter?" she asked when she saw this reaction; glancing at the table Sirius had popped up from.

"Fine," he shrugged, disregarding the question. Then he tried again, "I wondered why you never came back."

Her eyes flickered away from the table to the side of the building they were standing next to. "I…I…" she threw her shoulders back farther and tossed her head, shaking hair off of her shoulders."I didn't need to see you."

Sirius felt as if someone had just shouted "Avada Kedavra" at him. All the air left him. Out of pure resolve, he managed to get the words out.

"Oh good, me neither. Just wondering."

She smiled desperately and nodded. "Good. I'm glad to hear it."

The last thing Sirius expected to happen happened. Cade Bradley walked out of Flourish and Blotts and stood behind Dorcas. Then he put his hands on her shoulders. She turned her head and looked at him.

"I got the book," he smiled at her. "They had a little difficulty finding _Pride and Prejudice_, but one of the clerks has a muggle cousin."

"Thanks," she murmured, as he leaned down and kissed her on the lips. Sirius' fists suddenly became so tightly clenched that his knuckles were white.

"Bradley," he said through his teeth; nodding.

"Hi Black," Cade flashed an insincere smile.

Sirius was now so angry that he knew it was only a matter of time before he punched Cade Bradley right in the mouth that had just kissed Dorcas.

"Sirius," Remus came up behind him and placed a calming hand on Sirius' shoulder. "We've got to go. We're meeting Lily and James in five minutes."

Sirius took a deep breath. "It was nice to see you Dorcas," he said; walking away as Remus led. A few steps later, he turned his head to look back at them. Bradley was at Dorcas' side as they walked to the Leaky Cauldron. As he watched them, she looked up at him. Her eyes were unreadable, but he held them for a few seconds before Remus told him to hurry up.

* * *

The Marauders' last train ride to Hogwarts was nothing like any of the previous six. First of all, James wasn't there. He was up in the front of the train in the Head Boy and Girl's private compartment. And although he promised he'd come sit with them, he didn't. Lily Evans' charms far trumped anything Sirius, Remus, or Peter could, or for that matter would, do for James. They weren't bitter really. James had been after this girl for years. But the whole thing was just strange; a quarter of them missing. Sirius felt as if he'd lost his right arm.

On the way to the loo, he met Dorcas. She avoided his gaze and passed him, but he had turned on his heel and shouted after her. "Why would you get back together with him?"

She turned around slowly; her body straightening and tightening. "I like him."

"But you've been shagging me for months."

"I told you what that was," she said calmly. "It was just sex."

"Of all people, Dorcas," he shook his head and walked closer to her. "Why him?"

She was suddenly very interested in the door of the compartment nearest them. "I don't know. I guess I wanted a real, mature relationship and he was there."

Sirius scowled and pushed past her.

How dare Dorcas Meadowes insinuate that he, Sirius Black, couldn't have a mature relationship. Sirius Black could do anything. He was nearly growling when someone ran into him a little way down the train. He looked up.

"Sorry," Emily Flagg smiled broadly at him and laughed in a self-deprecating way. "I'm a klutz; I never see where I'm going."

He smiled as she bumbled. "It's alright. I wasn't looking either. How was your summer?"

"Very nice," she said in a chipper way. "My entire family visited Portugal. It was beautiful."

"Sounds very nice."

Emily smiled and went on, rather enthusiastically, about Portugal. Sirius sized her up as she spoke. She was a little on the short side, but she did have glorious long strait blonde hair and relatively large breasts (larger than Dorcas' anyway). Her face was nice enough: big, excited honey eyes and a brilliant complexion. The rest of her features were rather non-descript, but by no means unattractive. And she had a very charming smile. She would do.

"Has anyone ever told you how beautiful your eyes are?" he asked, walking closer to her.

She immediately looked at her shoes; blushing. "I've heard about your lines, Sirius, and I won't fall for them."

It was quite obvious, however, that the lines were working.

"Can we duck into these empty compartments to finish this talk? We might be blocking traffic."

She looked around for a second and then, shyly, nodded.

The minute they were inside the compartment, Sirius was kissing her. It took all of ten minutes before the whole thing was over. Emily certainly seemed to enjoy herself, but Sirius had felt awful the minute it was over. Really awful. His stubborn streak, however, forced him to go on with the plan he had hatched the minute he'd realized it was Emily Flagg he'd bumped into.

"Emily," he said as he handed her back her yellow and black striped tie. "I was thinking that maybe you could be my girlfriend."

The minute Sirius said this, it felt completely wrong. Emily, however, didn't think it sounded wrong. She jumped up into Sirius' arms kissing him sloppily on the mouth. "I'd love to be your girlfriend," she giggled.

Sirius nodded. "Good."

She jumped down, exclaiming that she had to go tell her friends. Sirius was glad to hear it and hoped it wouldn't be too long before Dorcas Meadowes found out that he, Sirius Black, was now in a committed, mature relationship. Sirius ignored the fact that this whole thing felt completely immature.


	23. Chapter 23

"You have a girlfriend?" Remus had a look of complete disbelief on his face. "You?"

Sirius frowned. "Yes Moony," he said. "I have a girlfriend: one girl who has sole rights to my amazing romantic talents."

"I don't believe you," Remus said again; leaning back. "It's some sort of prank"Emily Flagg?" James was wearing a look similar to Remus.' "Do you even know Emily Flagg? Do I even know her?"

"Well of course I know her," Sirius smirked. "She's my girlfriend."

The Marauders and Lily were sitting at the breakfast table. Peter had come running to the table that morning; babbling about how Baxter Stebbins had told him that Sirius Black and Emily Flagg were now dating.

"I think it's good," said Peter merrily. The other three shot him a look. He shrunk in his chair a little. "Maybe…" he added.

"Thanks Peter," Sirius said, stretching his legs. "I'm happy to hear I have at least one good mate."

"Does this have anything to do with Dorcas?" Lily asked; rotating her tea cup back and forth with her thumb and forefinger.

Sirius scowled at the name. "No Evans," he said, rather harshly. "It has nothing to do with her."

"Are you certain?" she asked. "Because I think it's odd that you are suddenly in love with Emily Flagg immediately after you find out that she's back together with Cade."

"Why don't you pay attention to your own love life and stop analyzing everyone else's?" he snapped.

James shot him an angry look. "Watch it, Padfoot."

Sirius rolled his eyes and took a swig of his orange juice. Lily smiled slightly at James. He put an arm around her shoulders and squeezed a little. She wiped her mouth with her napkin and then kissed him on the cheek. Sirius, out of spite, blew a kiss to Emily who was staring at him from the Hufflepuff table. She beamed back at him and made a catching gesture. Sirius smiled back smugly. Remus faked throwing up in his oatmeal. Peter laughed silently and was then very interested in his eggs.

The romantic scenes, disgusting or not, ended when Dorcas walked regally by on her way to an empty seat near the front of the table.

Sirius saw her and immediately began speaking very loudly. "Yeah," he leaned over to Remus. "Emily and I are in a mature, committed relationship. I don't want to shag anyone else."

Remus sighed. Sirius was still a third year. Honestly, forcing someone to overhear a conversation? It was ridiculous.

But it did work, Dorcas turned from where she was behind James and Lily to face Sirius across the table. "Congratulations Sirius," she said calmly. "I heard about you and Emily. I think it's wonderful."

"It is wonderful," Sirius said arrogantly. "How's Bradley?"

"He's fabulous," she said without flinching, her eyes challenging Sirius.

Lily had turned to look at Dorcas. "Why don't you sit here?" she said, gesturing next to her and scooting closer to James to make room.

"Alright," she smiled and sat next to Lily, right across from Sirius. They locked eyes the minute she had sat down.

"How does it feel to be dating the Captain of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team?" Sirius asked; his lip twitching. "Lily here got the Gryffindor Captain. Sorry the winner was already taken."

"Speaking of winners," she ignored the jab at Bradley. "Emily seems like a nice girl."

Remus almost laughed out loud when he glanced over Dorcas' shoulder to see Emily still staring at Sirius, twirling a piece of hair, and pouting. Cade was visible also; actually standing to get a better view of Dorcas and Sirius.

"She is a very nice girl," Sirius said, smirking suggestively. "And an awfully good shag too. How's Bradley? Is all that Quidditch paying off? Has he gotten better since last year?"

James clapped a hand to his forehead out of embarrassment for his friend. This was shameless. Lily giggled. Remus actually groaned.

Dorcas simply shrugged and raised her eyebrows; looking as if she was hiding some awfully good secret. She picked up a scone out of the basket in front of her and began to pick it apart; staring at Sirius the entire time.

* * *

Lily arrived back to the Head Boy and Girl's common room before James that night. He was out with the boys doing some back-to-school prank. She had clapped a hand to his mouth when he began to tell her about it. As Head Girl, she was willing to look the other way, but she could not hear in detail what exactly was going to happen to Davy Gudgeon while he was sleeping without feeling some sort of guilt.

The room was smaller than the Gryffindor common room, which she and James, of course, still had access to. It was decorated in rather neutral colors. There were old stone walls and a fireplace along with two leaf-patterned tapestry-covered armchairs. A side table sat next to each of the armchairs and a bookshelf lined one entire wall of the room. On the opposite wall were two arched doors: the left one leading to her room, the right to James'. Since both were Gryffindors, a red banner was hung over each doorway. In between the doors hung the Hogwarts crest.

While she waited for James, Lily pulled a book from the huge bookshelf. Curling up on an armchair, she dove into it and an hour flew by. James walked through the stone doorway, messing up his hair.

"Ahh," he said, leaning over and kissing her on the forehead. "Sitting in exactly the position I expected."

She stretched up and kissed him on the lips. "Have fun?"

He wore that mischievous smile of his and nodded; kissing her again. He moved away from her and sat in the other armchair. He sat still for a few seconds, watching as she stood, walked to the bookshelf, put the book back, and returned. She smiled at him when she had sat back down.

"This is rather stupid," he frowned.

"What is?" she asked.

"Us sitting in two armchairs like this; like we're having tea or something."

"Well, what do you propose Mr. Potter?" she laughed.

"Get up," he said as he stood. Lily looked up at him with a questioning glance. "Just do it," he gestured. She shrugged and stood; watching as James stuck his tongue out of his mouth in concentration, said something, and waved his wand. Almost immediately the two chairs moved together, one side from each disappearing, and formed a loveseat.

James smiled at Lily. "Much better." He walked to the newly-transfigured piece of furniture and sat, his arm draped over the back. "There is a perfect spot for you right here, Miss Evans," he said, patting the cushion right next to him.

One side of her mouth smiled and she sat next to him, turning into his body, bending her legs over his lap and wrapping her arms around his waist, allowing her head to drop his chest. His arm fell gently onto her shoulders.

"They should have thought of this," he tisked. "Two armchairs, honestly."

"But James," Lily laughed sarcastically. "If they'd given us a couch, you couldn't have shown off you transfiguration talent for me."

He smiled, letting his head fall to rest on her fragrant red hair. "True."

She squeezed him tighter, turning her head to look up at him. She noticed a cut on his left temple. With her free hand, she touched it.

"What happened there?" she asked.

"Oh Sirius got a little too _exuberant_ in the forest tonight," he said without thinking.

Lily sighed. "You went into the forest, James? That's seriously dangerous. There are centaurs and who knows what else in there. You could have been killed."

"We were fine," he said quickly.

"No James," she said, untangling herself from him. "You were not fine. What would have happened if you had been attacked? Or if the four of you had gotten separated?"

"Believe me Lily," he rolled his eyes. "We were fine."

"JAMES," she began one of her characteristic rants, her arms flying to emphasize its importance. "I don't think you understand what can happen to people in there. I don't want you to get hurt, you know. But if you go in there and you do, I won't feel sorry for you. It will be your own fault for being a complete idiot. Just because Sirius wants to do something stupid….."

"LILY," he boomed. "I'm a bloody animagus!"

James' face immediately changed from angry exasperation to complete shock and, eventually, fear.

Lily immediately laughed. He was surely joking. "Funny Potter," she smirked. "I'm a vampire."

James was silent, his expression still frozen with the shock of his own admission.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Come on James, you can't expect me to believe that. That is really advanced magic. You couldn't have…." James' face still looked guilty. Lily began to rethink her conclusion. "There's no way.." Her brow furrowed in disbelief. "Could you?"

Very slowly, James nodded. "Since 5th year. Sirius, Peter and I did it to keep Remus company."

James looked really nervous as Lily digested the information. Her jaw had dropped. "What sort of…?"

"A stag," he answered quietly.

"Could you…?" Her eyes were huge

He nodded, pushed himself off of the couch, walked to a somewhat open area and closed his eyes. Lily watched as his body grew and morphed until a full-grown stag stood there in front of her. Her jaw dropped. Almost immediately, he changed back. He stood there for a second, watching Lily warily. She had a look of complete incomprehension, her mouth opening and closing. After a few seconds, she shook her head and smiled.

"You are full of surprises James Potter."

He burst into a smile and walked back to the loveseat, sitting next to her.

"And I suppose Sirius is a dog?" she asked; laughing.

James nodded and she laughed even louder.

"Are you sure that wasn't another attempt to impress me?"

* * *

The first attack of the year took place at the very end of September. Christopher Cornfoot, a Ravenclaw 7th year, lost a set of grand-parents.

Dorcas lay next to Cade that night on a mattress he had conjured in the middle of the Prefect's bathroom, her eyes fixed on the chandelier above her. She had run to his common room that night eager to release the pain and the fear. He had taken her here where they could be alone. He had kissed her, touched her, loved her. He knew her body well and, to answer Sirius' question, he was better than last year. It had been perfect.

She glanced over at Cade; his curly hair fanning out around his head. He smiled at her and rolled over to kiss her on the forehead. She smiled slightly; looking back up to the chandelier. If it had been so perfect, why did she still feel so awful?

He sat up after awhile. "I've got to go," he said. "Ackerley will get suspicious."

She nodded; smiling slightly. He stood and dressed. Dorcas didn't watch him. Leaning down, he kissed her. "Goodbye," he whispered. He slipped out silently. A few seconds later, Dorcas got up and dressed herself. She cleared away the mattress with a flick of her wand and left the bathroom. She went quickly back to Gryffindor tower and up the stairs to her bed.

When she climbed in, dressed in her pajamas, she stared at the red canopy above her bed. She continued staring at it all night.


	24. Chapter 24

When the next attack occurred in early October, Cade came to Dorcas. She said she was too devastated to do anything. He had been somewhat rude about the whole thing; complaining that it was her duty as his girlfriend, but Dorcas Meadowes didn't give in. She rarely did. He had stormed back to the Ravenclaw common room as she entered the portrait hole.

On the couch in the common room were Sirius and Emily Flagg. She was sitting on his lap facing him and covering his face with kisses. His arms were loosely thrown around her waist. She giggled; bouncing up and down on his lap. Sirius smiled weakly. She began to kiss his neck and Sirius caught sight of Dorcas. She smiled, rather sadly, and began to walk to the staircase. Sirius watched her; confused. Why wasn't she with Bradley? He put his hands on Emily's shoulders, signaling her to stop.

"One second," he said.

"Alright," she smiled seductively and giggled. "But hurry back."

Sirius nodded. He was really beginning to hate that giggle. He caught up with Dorcas at the bottom of the stairs.

"Why aren't you with Bradley?" he asked, his eyes expressing his concern.

"We had a row," she said quickly, not looking at him.

"But don't you…I mean, you…after an attack," he fumbled.

She shrugged. "I'll be alright." Then looking at her feet she mumbled. "Cade doesn't really help anyway."

Sirius suddenly stood up a little taller.

"I mean, things have been a lot worse lately." Dorcas said quickly. "I'm going to bed. I think Emily's waiting for you." She gestured to the girl on the couch, but Sirius didn't turn around. He was looking instead at that wrinkle in between Dorcas' eyebrows. She caught his gray gaze for a second and the wrinkle deepened. Then she ran up the stairs. Sirius watched her all the way up; wishing he could run after her, grab her around the waist and kiss her so hard that they would both weep the way they had their first time. But he couldn't for so many reasons; the least of which being that he would be thrown from the girls' staircase the minute he reached the middle of it.

"Sirius?" a rather squeaky voice called from the sofa.

He turned back to Emily who was still smiling that same seductive smile and leaning over the sofa so that her cleavage was in full view.

Sirius sighed. "Emily," he said. "I think we need to talk."

* * *

It was not Sirius' idea to prank the Ravenclaws. He personally wanted to go after the newest Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Professor Arden had run off with some Hufflepuff 7th year at the end of last year and her replacement was an unnaturally tall and skinny wizard who wore thick glasses and spoke with a lisp. Professor Steadman would have been the perfect target. Sirius also thought that since he had broken up with Emily, he deserved to make the decision. James, however, was insistent that they get the Ravenclaws since he had caught Myles Ackerley and Isabelle Stuart in the 3rd floor corridor three days before.

"Isn't this a little hypocritical?" Remus asked as James put the final touches on the rather realistic moving picture of the two in a rather compromising position. Sirius had been the one who had gotten Isabelle's face just right. It had taken hours. It covered the entire north wall of the Ravenclaw common room and occasionally sung some rather silly and graphic songs.

"What do you mean?" he asked, sticking his tongue out and twisting his wand to widen Myles' eyes just a bit more.

"I mean, aren't you…um…doing the same thing?" Remus blushed a bit.

James jumped; turning so fast that he let his wand slip and Myles' eyes now took up half of his face. He looked around rather sheepishly.

Sirius gave James a rather surprised look. "You mean, you and Evans haven't…"

"Just because you shag everyone Sirius," he said in a defensive tone, suddenly standing up a little taller.

"Really?" Sirius shrugged, his eyes growing. "I just thought that after three years of fantasizing, you'd be eager to find out whether or not you got it right."

"What Lily and I have is not about sex," he said; turning to fix his slip.

"It's always about sex," Sirius said flatly.

"No," James looked at him directly. "It's not."

"WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

The four of them turned to face the stairs. Standing there was a very tall, very angry Cade Bradley. He was storming down the stairs. Peter dove behind a sofa as he pulled out his wand. James and Sirius exchanged worried looks. Remus exhaled.

"Redecorating?" James smiled cheekily.

"You four are disgusting," he fumed, as he reached the bottom of the stairs. "But I guess since none of you are currently involved in that particular activity," he gestured at the picture, "you find it amusing to pull shit like this."

Sirius hated Cade Bradley. He had hated him since that day in the Great Hall last year. He had wanted to kill him since that day at Diagon Alley. So it wasn't surprising when he said this.

"From what I hear, you're not too active either."

Bradley stopped advancing and his eyes narrowed. "How in hell would you know?"

Sirius shrugged. "A little birdy told me."

Bradley glowered.

"This little birdy told me something else too." Sirius strutted forward to Bradley and said the second part under his breath. "That you don't give her what I did."

Bradley's nostrils flared, his mouth became a tight line, his fists clenched, his head lowered. Sirius was sure he was going to hit him and readied himself for the fight, but Bradley didn't hit him. Instead, after a second of anger, his lips curled up into an evil smile.

"You actually liked her, did you?" he laughed meanly. "She's never even mentioned you. In four months, she's never even mentioned you. What do you think about that? If you were so good, don't you think your name would slip in at least once?"

Sirius stepped back. Bradley was right; wouldn't she have mentioned him at least once? He scowled as not to look unsure to Bradley.

"No witty comeback, Black?" Bradley asked sarcastically.

Sirius was just about to fire a punch at Bradley's smirk when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head to see James.

"Come on Padfoot," he said; gesturing to the door. "We've got to go."

Remus had gotten rid of the pornographic joke and Peter had crawled out from behind the sofa. Both were standing by the exit. Sirius turned back to Bradley and scowled again. Then he turned reluctantly and left the room.

* * *

No one knew what to say to Sirius. He had never been like this. A lot of people were sure that there was nothing Sirius Black would want that he couldn't have. James' experience with Lily did come in handy a little, but he was snogging Lily in between advice. That sort of cancelled out anything positive Sirius could have garnered from it. Lily tried to tell Sirius that she would talk to Dorcas, but he didn't want that. He couldn't bear to have Dorcas know what he was feeling. It had just been sex to her. Bradley had made that clear. Awfully good sex. Alright, abso-bloody-lutely fantastic sex. But that was it. Dorcas had never actually cared about him. The pain he felt made him want to apologize to all those girls he had shagged emotionlessly.

Dorcas and Bradley seemed to pop up everywhere: on the way to Charms, in Charms, in front of the Gryffindor common room, next to the loos. Sirius saw the way Bradley tightened his grip on her every time he caught a glimpse of him. The threatening glare. But he didn't see the way Dorcas looked at him with that familiar wrinkle between her eyebrows.

"You should tell her," Lily had said in the common room one night.

Sirius shook his head, "Bad idea."

"Why?"

"She's already told me that she doesn't want a relationship with me," he looked at his feet.

"But she's been willing to have wild jungle sex with you?" James smirked

"It's just sex," Sirius said flatly, shrugging.

"You can't have good sex without serious emotions," Lily had said. James swallowed hard at this comment.

Sirius smirked a little and couldn't resist the bait. "What exactly do you know about sex, Evans?"

Lily turned bright red and took a few quick breaths. Her hand dropped from James' shoulder suddenly. "I…It's a scientific fact." She was suddenly very intrigued by the back of her hand.

"It's not true," he said; watching as Dorcas climbed through the portrait hole.

"Here's what I know, Sirius," James said. He had taken many deep breaths during Lily's sex talk but gained his strength back by grabbing onto the table very tightly. "I have never seen you happier than the days after she showed up, or more disappointed when she didn't."

"But what about her?" he asked, watching her back as she ascended the stairs.

"Do I have to remind you about the way she was last May?" Lily said.

"Gwendolyn told me she hasn't slept through the night since the year started," Remus added.

Sirius pondered Remus' comment. He hadn't been sleeping either.

* * *

There was an attack on Halloween. The Longbottoms were both accomplished Aurors and newlyweds. Their home in York was attacked in the early morning hours by three death eaters. Luckily the dark detectors that Frank had spent months installing worked and he and Alice were able to fight them off well enough to apparate to his mother's home. It was a tough blow. Frank Longbottom and Alice Morton had been Head Boy and Girl at Hogwarts five years earlier. All the 6th and 7th years remembered them.

Dorcas had given up on getting any relief from Cade. Instead, after the Halloween feast that night, she planned to go directly to her bedroom and begin her sleepless night early. On her way back to the Gryffindor common room, she caught sight of Sirius and wished for a moment that she wasn't dating Cade Bradley.

When she reached her bedroom and had climbed into bed, she really wished she wasn't dating Cade Bradley.

At around three in the morning, Sirius got tired of waiting for sleep. He climbed out of bed and accidentally kicked his trunk. Hard.

"Damn!" he yelled.

"Petey doesn't want the banana." He heard Peter murmur in his sleep. Confident that he hadn't woken anyone else, Sirius snuck out the door and began descending the stairs to the common room in his blue striped pajamas. As he drew closer, he heard something that heard like sobbing. Curious and unbearably hopeful, Sirius craned his neck to see who was sitting on the tattered armchair in the corner of the room.

Curled up in a pair of black and white pajamas, a thick curtain of hair covering her face, was Dorcas. Her body was jerking violently in retching sobs. She didn't look up when Sirius rushed down the stairs and over to her. He kneeled down in front of the chair and put a hand on her leg.

She immediately tensed up and began rubbing at her face furiously. When he caught a glimpse of her face, he saw that she must have been crying for a long time: her eyes were swollen and red, she was pale, and despite all of her effort to erase the evidence, tears still clung to her hair, her checks, and her eyelashes.

"Dorcas," he said softly, brushing the hair behind her ear.

"I am NOT crying," she said firmly and not looking at him, as a tear escaped from her eye. "I am not crying."

Sirius chuckled. "I can tell."

"Well," she said as he wiped away a tear with his thumb. "I'm not. I don't cry."

"Neither do I," he leaned his head so that he could look her in the eye. She avoided his glance for a second; breathing raggedly as the sobs subsided. Finally she looked at him. As she sat up, he placed his hands and then his head in her lap. She sat still for a while; remaining tense from the surprise of being caught and sniffing occasionally Eventually she laid her hands on top of his and he looked up at her. Her eyes were filling with tears again. Pure will power kept them from falling.

Her eyes grew with need, pain, and shame. His enveloped all of her: both mirroring the feelings back to her and offering her a comfort that she had longed for.

"Sirius," she said, sniffing again as her eyes glistened with newly formed tears. She swallowed. "Sirius, I… I need…"

"So do I," was the husky reply.

Letting go of her hands, he stood up, her eyes glued to his. As he leaned over, she raised her arms weakly and wrapped them around his extended neck. His long arms encircled her waist and she threw her legs around his middle crossing her ankles to lock him in. He lifted her easily without breaking the intense eye contact. More tears began to fall down her cheeks and, since his hands were holding her up, he kissed them away, eventually reaching her mouth. They kissed with a hunger that had been building for months; a hunger that countless attacks and countless sleepless nights had fed; a hunger that both Cade Bradley and Emily Flagg couldn't satisfy.

Their tongues tangled and their lips melted into each other and soon Sirius had pushed her up against the wall. She gasped as he began to kiss her neck. The gasps became sobs and he stopped; looking into her pain-filled eyes. He kissed her gently on the mouth and she smiled through her tears, pulling him closer to her by his pajamas and kissing him harder. Then she began to kiss his jaw, his neck, his collarbone. He could feel her hot tears falling on his skin and felt the lump rise in his throat. Closing his eyes, one tear dropped on to the Dorcas' crown. She stopped what she was doing and began to kiss all of his tears away, the way he had done for her. They kissed again and Sirius put her down; backing up a bit and unbuttoning his pajama top. She mirrored him. When her breasts were exposed, he stepped closer to caress her body, kneeling and placing his cheek against her stomach; closing his eyes and breathing in and out deliberately. She weaved her hands through his dark hair and he stood again; kissing her hard. She pulled down her bottoms and kicked off her knickers. He stood there for a second and looked at her completely for the first time. He had no idea that she was that beautiful. Quickly, his bottoms were off and her long legs were wrapped around his middle. When she gasped and moaned inches from his ear, Sirius felt the pleasure, the fullness that he had needed. Everything was right again.

When they were done, they didn't rush away like they always had before. He had set her down softly and kissed her on the hand and then gently caressed her tear-stained face. She had closed her eyes and smiled slightly, lost in his touch. Her hand found his and she held it tightly for a few seconds as they looked into each other's eyes. Then she had embraced him and a few seconds after falling into his arms, she laughed.

"What is it?" he asked his cheek against her hair.

"You have a problem with shagging Cade Bradley's girlfriends, don't you?"


	25. Chapter 25

When Dorcas saw Sirius three hours later on the way down to breakfast, she smiled calmly at him. He smiled back and immediately walked over to her in the common room, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"Good morning," something pulling at the side of his mouth.

"Good morning," she wrapped an arm around his middle, nuzzling into his chest.

Annabelle and Gwendolyn, who were walking behind Dorcas, kept stealing glances at each other; trying to interpret this new development. Sirius looked up at them.

"Don't worry about it," she whispered. "But let me handle Cade, alright?"

"Can I pummel him, please?"

"No," she chuckled into his chest. "He's really not _that_ bad."

Sirius pulled her in tighter, "Yes, he is."

"Just because he doesn't like you," she said. Then she looked up at him and broke into a rare toothy grin. It was the most beautiful thing Sirius had ever seen.

* * *

"James," Lily was truly exasperated. The two were standing in their common room about two feet from each other. Both had taken stubborn stances. Lily's arms were waving wildly while James' were angrily folded across his chest. "You cannot do this."

"Come on Lily," he pleaded. "Did you really expect me to stop pulling pranks just because we started dating?"

Lily huffed. "You are Head Boy, James Potter, and I _have_ overlooked your pranks, even after Cade Bradley caught you in the Ravenclaw common room. But you cannot do this."

"We've always pranked the Slytherins," he shook his head in disbelief at her disapproval.

She began pacing. "But things are different now," she was wringing her hands. "You've seen the way Rosier and Montague have been walking around this place like they own it."

"The way Sirius and I do?" he smirked a little, shifting his weight to one leg.

"NO," she stopped and whipped around to look at him. "James, you have to be serious about this." James chuckled at his best friend's name, but shut up when Lily shot him a look. "They've been making comments about all the terrible things they're going to do when the year is up. Rosier actually threatened me in Potions the other day."

James' face suddenly contorted with a huge swell of protective anger. "I'll kill him."

"No James," she walked to him and grabbed him by the shoulders. "There's no point. But if you prank them, there's no telling how they'll react. We're not kids anymore, James; they won't just try to hit you with a bat-bogey hex. They're so…so terrifyingly confident. I'm afraid they might try to actually hurt you……" Her head dropped as her breathing slowed. When she looked up, she had tears in her eyes, "Or worse."

"Oh Lily," he wrapped his arms around her and she buried her head in his chest. "I doubt that Rosier will try to kill me at school. Besides, we're pranking Snape, not him."

Lily suddenly pushed him away violently. He moved back a couple of steps. "You are such an idiot. Haven't you seen who's suddenly become the third member of their disgusting little trio," she wiped at the tears coming from her eyes as she yelled. "If you prank Snape, then Rosier will get involved."

"It's just a harmless joke," James shrugged. "There's no reason Snape should react any differently than he ever has."

"He hates you James," she said; sniffing up her tears angrily.

"He's always hated me."

Lily sighed loudly. "But he never had anyone to take his side before. Don't you think that he would have done something much worse to you if he had the resources?" She was pleading, "Well, now he has them."

"Lily," he rolled his eyes and tried to hug her. She ducked out of his embrace and the stubborn frown cemented itself on her face. "Rosier is not going to kill me if I prank Snape. You're being ridiculous."

"RIDICULOUS!" her green eyes suddenly filled with an anger James hadn't seen since last spring. "So me caring about what happens to you is ridiculous!"

"That's not…."

"FINE!" she yelled, inches from his face. "If you want to go get yourself hurt, go! I don't care." The way she sat down on the armchair; her arms folded, James knew that she really did care.

"Lily, come on…"

"GO!"

James sighed, unsure of what to do, and walked into his bedroom.

* * *

Despite Lily's objections, they pulled the prank anyway. With the help of the map, the four Marauders snuck first into the Potions dungeon where they picked up daisy roots, a shrivelfig, a caterpillar, a rat spleen, and some leech juice. Remus, as the only one of the four who had ever shown any sort of talent at all for Potions, mixed the shrinking solution.

Then, quietly and quickly, they made their way down to the Slytherin common room. The dark dungeon-like chamber gleamed with green glass and a large silver urn on the mantle caught the small amount of light that streamed in from the slotted windows at the top of the walls. The boys snuck down a dark corridor into the 7th year's dormitory and immediately found Snape's bed thanks to the copy of _Magic Moste Evile_ lying on his trunk.

"Trash," James had muttered angrily, as he let three drops of the solution fall on Snape's greasy nose.

They hurried out of the dormitories; Peter almost tripping over Rosier's trunk. Quickly and quietly, they snuck out of the lounge and up the trap door. The castle was silent and eerie with the slight glow of the moon streaming through the occasional window.

"Lily's going to kill me," James sighed as they reached the place where he was to leave them. "Can I come sleep in the tower tonight?"

Sirius laughed.

"Don't laugh at me."

"Yeah," Remus smirked. "Soon Dorcas will be doing the same thing to you."

"Doubt it," Sirius smiled at the mention of the girl's name.

"Get in there Prongs," Remus pushed him a little. "You're going to have to handle it eventually."

Sirius and Peter shrugged in agreement.

Taking a deep breath, James turned to the corridor. "Wish me luck."

"Good Luck."

* * *

The next day, Snape's nose was almost invisible, it was so small. The entire Advanced Transfiguration class had burst into laughter when he walked in; except for Lily, who instead glared at James as he shrunk in his chair a little. Snape didn't even realize that his nose had changed at all until Professor McGonagall mentioned that perhaps he should go to the hospital wing. As he walked out of the Transfiguration classroom, he glared at James and Sirius. That night at supper, he approached the Maraduers.

"You're going to pay for this," he scowled.

"Snivellus," Sirius had drawled, lazily sipping on pumpkin juice. "You've been saying that for years. We really don't believe you anymore."

Lily was sitting next to James; turned away with her arms crossed and a scowl. James didn't say anything to Snape since he was too concerned with being ignored by his girlfriend.

"Potter," Snape said. "I'm challenging you to a duel tonight."

James suddenly turned to look at Snape. Unfazed, he shrugged and said, "Okay. Coming, Sirius?" Lily scoffed loudly and James turned back to her.

"Of course," Sirius said almost with a laugh.

Snape smiled nastily. "The empty classroom on the 4th floor at midnight then?"

James nodded; still concentrating on Lily. "Fine."

* * *

That night James and Sirius met in the Gryffindor common room and made their way to the classroom. They had brought the map since James was Head Boy and being caught dueling after curfew would look rather bad.

"How long do you think this will take?" Sirius asked in a bored tone.

"Not long," James dismissed it. "Why? Do you and Dorcas have something planned?" He smirked suggestively.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" The way Sirius smiled made it obvious that they did have something planned. "Evans still mad at you?"

James frowned, nodding. "It'll blow over though, once I come back victorious over Snape. She thinks he's going to get all of his Slytherin cronies to help him out."

Sirius laughed. "Snape has cronies?"

'That's what I said," James sighed. "Come on, we're here."

They opened the door and found the room empty. Sirius perched himself on the large desk.

"Late," he rolled his eyes. "Of course."

"Maybe he got cold feet…"

Suddenly the door burst open. Snape stood there, a malicious grin across his face. Sirius jumped off of the desk because Snape wasn't alone. There were five people behind him: Rosier, Montague, Victoria Avery, Adrian Pritchard, and Regulus.

"How does it feel to be outnumbered now?" Snape growled. "I told you that you would regret the way you treated me."

Sirius and James looked at each other, whipping out their wands.

"Expelliarmus," James yelled suddenly. Snape's wand flew out of his hand."EXPELLIARMUS," Rosier shouted. Sirius' wand was ripped from his grasp. Furious, Sirius simply ran at Rosier and knocked him over before he had a chance to react. He pulled his wand from Rosier's grip and shouted, "Impedimenta," at Montague who was advancing on James.

"Petrificus Totalus!" James shot a blast of green light at Pritchard.

Sirius pushed himself off of Rosier and screamed, "Stupefy!" Rosier was knocked back a couple of steps.

"Sirius," James yelled, "watch out!"

He turned quickly to see Victoria with her wand drawn. He dodged a shot of purple light and shot a Jelly-legs curse at her. She dodged it.

Meanwhile Regulus was dueling with James, who still had Snape's wand clutched in his left hand. Finally, Regulus hit James with an Impediment jinx. He fell hard, breaking his glasses, and Snape grabbed his wand; pointing it menacingly at James.

Sirius finally hit Victoria, screaming "Incarcerous." She fell as the ropes tangled around her ankles. He ran to James' side, yelling "Sectumsempra" as he did.

Snape screamed loudly as a deep gash appeared on his left shoulder. He clutched it and backed up against the wall. Sirius helped James up.

"Alright?" he asked.

James nodded; looking at the person standing in front of them. 15-year-old Regulus Black stood watching his brother help James Potter up from the floor.

"So this is the sort of crowd you've been hanging around with, Regulus?" Sirius spat. "I think mum would be awfully proud."

"I'm not the one running around with mudbloods and traitors," Regulus' face looked remarkably similar to Sirius' except for the presence of their mother's narrow brown eyes where Sirius' deep gray ones were.

James bristled at the word "mudblood" and pointed his wand at Regulus' neck.

"Don't worry about it James," Sirius glared at his younger brother. "He's just repeating what, no doubt, my mother has told him about me. But Regulus, I don't give a damn what either of you say. You were never my family. James was always my real brother."

Regulus flinched a little and pointed his wand sharply at Sirius.

"Sectumsempra," the voice was Snape's. He had recovered enough to send a cut to Sirius' forearm.

"Petrificus Totalus," James screamed. Snape dropped to the floor. Rosier and Montague were beginning to come to and he grabbed Sirius' arm. "Come on."

They ran from the classroom: James shouting "Colloportus" at the door. When they had reached an open corridor, they stopped. They were breathing heavily.

"Alright?" James asked.

Sirius looked down at his arm. The gash was about five inches long and rather deep. Wincing, he nodded. "You?"

James nodded. "Merlin, that wasn't what I expected."

"I know."

"I guess Lily was right," he looked down at his shoes. "I'd better go tell her."

Sirius nodded and began the trip back up to Gryffindor tower.

"Sirius," James' voice made him turn around. "Did you mean it when you said I was your real brother?"

"Of course," he shrugged.

James smiled and nodded once at him. "You're mine too, you know."

"Yeah, I know." Sirius smiled slightly and walked up the stairs. James rubbed his sore shoulder as he walked to his dormitory. He had fallen on it when Regulus hit him with the impediment jinx. When he reached the engraved door, he muttered the password and it swung open. Lily was pacing the common room and wringing her hands, obviously waiting up for him. When she saw his cracked glasses and his bruised cheek, she gasped.

"James," she ran to him. "What happened?"

"You were right," he said, collapsing on the loveseat. "Snape brought five other people. Sirius and I fought them off."

"Oh Merlin," she said under her breath, sitting next to him.

"I know," he took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

Suddenly tears filled Lily's eyes. "Promise me you will never pull another stupid prank."

James looked up at her; shoving his glasses back on. "No," he said. "I'm not going to stop doing what I've always done."

"JAMES!" she yelled. "Why are being such an idiot!"

He glared at her. "This is how I've always been, Lily. I didn't suddenly start doing these things."

"I know," she gaped. "But other things have changed James."

"I'm not promising Lily," he said firmly.

"FINE!" she yelled, jumping off the love seat and throwing her arms up in the air. "Then I'm not going to sit around and watch you get yourself killed. This…us…it's over. I'm done."

And with that she stormed into her bedroom, slamming the door loudly as she did. James dropped his head into his hands when the noise had subsided. Not really believing what Lily had just said, James reached for the map to see how Sirius was doing on his way back to Gryffindor Tower. His pockets were empty. He turned them out completely to make sure. They were empty. He had lost the map.


	26. Chapter 26

The minute Lily entered her bedroom, she burst into tears. Glad that she had her own room, she crumpled into a ball on her bed. She didn't move until morning.

* * *

"They actually…broke up?" Peter asked; completely dumbfounded. The three Marauders who still lived in Gryffindor tower were sitting in the common room; Dorcas at Sirius' side. They had their Charms notes spread out on the table in front of them, but they had studied for about five minutes before Sirius had brought up James and Lily's split.

"Yeah," Sirius nodded gravely. "James is bloody devastated."

"Well, wouldn't you be?" Remus rested his chin on his fist. "He spends three years trying to get her and then he finally does. Then, suddenly, bam! It's over; just like that."

Dorcas was looking to the side; her crossed arms resting on the table. Sirius looked over at her.

"What do you say, Dorcas?" he asked.

She looked at him as if he had torn her from some sort of thought. "I understand Lily," she said quietly.

"What do you mean?" he asked; feeling a little betrayed.

"I mean," she took a breath; looking down and uncrossing her arms. "She doesn't want to be there to watch someone she cares about get hurt." She intertwined her fingers; watching them intently. "She's afraid of what it might do to her. She's scared."

Sirius reacted by dropping his arms and pursing his lips in thought.

"Will you talk to her, Dorcas?" Remus asked. "James is truly unbearable and she won't listen to me."

Smiling sadly at Sirius, she nodded.

* * *

"I know how you feel Lily," Dorcas said in the middle of Potions one day. "I don't blame you."

"Did he ask you to talk to me?" she scowled, dumping salamander eggs into her cauldron.

"No," Dorcas said.

"If you understand, then why didn't you drop Sirius right away?" Lily was quickly working herself into a tizzy.

Dorcas shrugged; turning back to her potion.

"And you think that I need James Potter, is that it?" Lily spat, "I don't need him. I don't need anyone. I can take care of myself."

"And I can't?" Dorcas asked; not looking at her. "I'm even better at being independent than you Lily. I don't need Sirius to survive. I just…It's a lot easier with him around."

Lily was taken aback. "You really care about him, don't you?"

Dorcas was suddenly very interested in her potion.

Lily smiled slightly; placing a hand on her shoulder. "You do."

Dorcas turned her head back to Lily. "Make up with James."

Lily dropped her hand and shook her head. "No. If you can handle an idiot who doesn't care about his own well-being, let alone anyone else's, then I'm happy for you. But I can't. I don't want to spend all my time worrying about whether or not he's going to be ok."

"Aren't you doing that anyway?"

Lily turned back to her potion very quickly. "I am not making up with him."

* * *

"Why don't you talk to her, James?" Remus asked. The Marauders were all sitting in the Gryffindor common room like old times.

"I've tried," he sighed; a hand brushing through his hair. "She won't listen to me."

He had a horribly melancholy aura around him. Even his recent Quidditch victory over the Hufflepuffs didn't cheer him up.

"Why don't you just give up on the pranks," he continued. "Without the map, it's not like we can do a whole lot anyway."

James rubbed his forehead. "Why does she have to make me promise _that_. I mean, that's what we've always done."

"She's just worried," Sirius said. Remus glanced at him; a little surprised at this comment.

"I know," James sighed. "But she doesn't need to be. I'll be fine. I'm not a complete idiot."

"You did get yourself in quite a mess," Remus shrugged; turning back to James. "What would you do if she did that?"

"I wouldn't break up with her," he frowned; crossing his arms and leaning back as he let out a lot of air.

"Dorcas reckons that Lily's terrified of what being close to someone who does rather stupid things could do to her," Sirius said.

"Dorcas would know about that," Remus said flatly. Sirius gave him a rather annoyed look.

"Do you think you'll get back together?" Peter asked.

"I don't know, Wormtail," James took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. "Merlin, I hope so."

* * *

The month of November was fraught with attack after attack. The question on everyone's mind as they read _The Daily Prophet_ each morning was not if there had been an attack, but who had been attacked. Clementine Cauldwell had lost a brother, Bertram Aubrey had three uncles at St. Mungo's, Colin Quirke had been orphaned. Stephen Madley's aunt had been put under the Imperius curse and attempted to kill his mother. Eric Whitby's cousin had suffered under the Cruciatus Curse.

"Alright?" Sirius asked, as he stroked Dorcas' hair where she lay next to him on his bed. She smiled at him and he kissed her on the forehead. "So, someone has a birthday coming up."

"Yes, someone does," she chuckled a little.

"How do you feel about a party?" he smirked.

"I think we all could use a party," she said.

"Honestly," he exhaled, lying back down. "Any luck with Evans."

"No," she said simply.

"Right," Sirius said, but his mind was occupied elsewhere. "Dorcas…do …do I scare you?"

She took a deep breath and then sighed. "You bloody terrify me."

"Look," he said, propping himself back up on his side. "I'll be more careful, I promise. James and I know what we're doing…most of the time."

"I know you can take care of yourself." She smiled her half-smile and rolled over to her side. "That's not what scares me." Then she took his face in her hands, and kissed him. "I'll see you in the morning."

"But Dor…"

"I'll see you in the morning, Sirius."

* * *

Dorcas' 18th birthday was on November 30th, which very conveniently fell on a Friday. She and Sirius had planned a big party in the Gryffindor common room. Her birthday was only the excuse they used; really they just wanted to cheer everyone up.

Sirius had gotten Remus and Peter to help him decorate the common room with all sorts of "Happy Birthday Dorcas!" and "Congratulations on Reaching Muggle Drinking Age" banners. There was even one rather ridiculous one that said "Joyeux Aniversaire, la copine de Sirius Black" and was decorated with various glamour shots of Sirius. That one was a surprise.

"Don't think that's a little over-the-top?" Remus asked.

"I think it's funny," Peter laughed.

"She'll love it," Sirius said; smirking. "It does have pictures of me all over it."

"Yeah, but you look like a total prat," Remus laughed.

"Peter," Sirius asked the short boy. "Do I look like a prat?"

Peter looked suspicious. "Um…no?"

Sirius stuck his chin in the air. "I never look like a prat. I always look like a gorgeous hunk of man and every bird always wants to shag me. I must have been created by some amazing alchemist to satisfy the needs of the female species. I am…"

"Try not to get too drunk tonight."

Sirius turned around to see a smirking Dorcas behind him. She was wearing a blue jumper in some sort of nubbly fabric that Sirius couldn't resist running a hand over. Her hair hung long in its natural dark waves to her chest.

"You look nice," he smiled at her.

"Thank you," she rose up on her tiptoes to kiss him. "Remus," she turned to the golden-eyed boy. "Gwendolyn's looking for you."

Remus smiled slightly. "Thanks." He crossed the room to a thin blonde girl and began talking with her. Peter followed him.

"Are they…?" Sirius asked, suddenly very confused.

"No," Dorcas laughed softly and shook her head. "Unlike you, Remus is able to have female friends and not shag them."

"Well what's the point?" Sirius smirked.

Dorcas rolled her eyes.

"Hey," he said; putting his arms on her shoulders and turning her to face the banner. "What do you think? Remus thinks I look like a prat. You don't, do you?"

Dorcas flashed Sirius a half-smile and raised her eyebrows.

"Damn," he said; staring at the poster and tilting his head to get a better look.

James and Lily came up to the party separately. It was stupid really. James left first while Lily hid in her bedroom and ten minutes later, when she was sure she wouldn't run into him, she slipped out.

Entering the Gryffindor common room, she immediately greeted Dorcas; the girls touching both cheeks. She couldn't see James anywhere.

"Happy Birthday!" she had said, trying to sound happy.

"He's upstairs," the taller girl said. "They're getting the firewhiskey."

"Honestly," Lily rolled her eyes. "He's Head Boy. And I wasn't looking for him."

Dorcas raised her eyebrows and Lily scoffed. She walked over to a table where Remus, Gwendolyn, and Peter sat and began talking uninterestedly. James and Sirius came down a few minutes later; each carrying a case of the alcohol. Lily watched as Dorcas showed them where to put it and raised her eyebrows at Sirius when he immediately grabbed a bottle. He shrugged in defiance and then offered the bottle to Dorcas. She didn't take it. James was standing off to the side of the scene and Lily noticed that he was staring at her.

She jerked around; looking away from him. His head dropped.

* * *

"O…O..kkk evvreeewooon," an inebriated Sirius had stood up on a table. "I want to wish a v…ver…very happee birrrthday t ..to the mmos. beee ooo tii full girrll heeere." He was bobbing and weaving dangerously. "Dddorrcass." He laughed, "The end of your name sounds like ass," and nearly fell off.

At this point, Dorcas had pulled him down and forced him to sit. He kissed her drunkenly. She, despite herself, smiled. James laughed. Lily rolled her eyes.

Owen Towler stood up over by the fireplace. "I have an announcement to make," he said. He reached for Annabelle, who was sitting next to him. She stood, smiling at him, and wrapped her arms around his middle.

All of the girls suddenly gasped happily.

"Annabelle and I are engaged."

Immediately Gwendolyn burst from the table she was sitting on and ran to her friend; hugging her tightly. Everyone else also moved toward the couple; offering their congratulations.

Sirius brought a bottle of firewhiskey over to Owen. "Hhherre ya go mate," he placed a hand on Owen's shoulder. "Yuuur gonna need it."

Dorcas had rolled her eyes and pushed him along.

When Lily hugged Annabelle, smiling as sincerely as she could, she heard James next to her. She turned her head and saw him shaking Owen's hand. He glanced over at her. They held eyes as Lily continued to hug Annabelle, but then just as quickly, looked away.


	27. Chapter 27

The joy over Owen and Annabelle's recent engagement tempered the news of more attacks as December began. They planned to get married right away; over Christmas actually. In this atmosphere of fear, more and more couples started to get rather serious: Isabelle and Myles, Veronica Smethley and Davy Gudgeon, Bertram Aubrey and Clementine Cauldwell. Lily hated it. All she saw around her was love: people comforting each other in the middle of a war. When she heard that Robert McMillan and Moira O'Neill had finally admitted their love for each other, she nearly vomited on her Transfiguration notes.

Winter exams came and went rather quickly and soon the 7th years were off on their last Christmas Holiday.

"Are you sure you can't come?" Sirius asked Dorcas for the fourth time as he and James were getting ready to leave for the Potter's. James was getting rather tired of this scene. He wished Sirius would just say goodbye.

"I'm going to be in Switzerland for two weeks," she shrugged.

He pouted. "Not even once."

She smiled a little. "Maybe once."

He grinned and pulled her into a bear hug. "Good," he let her go. Then, brushing a piece of hair from her forehead, "I'll see you then."

She nodded and wrapped her arms around his neck. His encircled her waist and they kissed. Then they kissed again. And again.

"OK," James finally said; scowling. "We really have to go."

"Alright," Sirius said, letting go of Dorcas. "Goodbye."

"Goodbye," she let go of him. "Goodbye James. Have a good holiday."

"You too," he said flatly; trying to smile at her.

Sirius turned from Dorcas and James handed him his suitcase. As they left the Great Hall, Sirius turned his head one last time, smiling at Dorcas.

"Oh just stop it, will you?" James said, exasperated.

"Sorry," Sirius said; taken aback.

It was if they had switched places. Sirius was now the one prattling on about a bird while James had to listen. Only James didn't offer dirty jokes and witty comments when Sirius slipped into his dream world with Dorcas. Instead, he offered scowls and angry rants. He hadn't been the same since he and Lily had ended things. He was snapping at everyone and never slept well. When they had first arrived at the house, Gringy had accidentally gotten in James' way as he sulked to the stairs. James had yelled at him so loudly that the house elf spent the next week hiding in the broom cupboard. When Dorcas had shown up five days into the holiday and Sirius had invited her for supper, he had spent the night in his bedroom. He had also scowled all through breakfast the next day when his parents told Sirius over and over what a lovely girl she was. When he awoke two nights later to the sounds of another surprise visit, he had marched straight into Sirius' room and told them, in no uncertain terms, to shut up. She hadn't returned.

When Christmas Eve came, James was still in his mood.

"Potatoes," his mother asked.

"No," he looked down at the roast beef on his plate and poked at it with his fork.

"Are you not hungry?" his father asked; looking at him over his glasses.

James shrugged. Sirius looked over at him and sighed.

"Would you like something else, James?" his mother looked rather worried. "I'm sure Gringy would be happy to whip something up."

"I'm fine," James said under his breath.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine Mum," he said firmly; scowling up at her.

"You will eventually get over her, son," his father said in a comforting tone. "I promise."

James' head shot up. "I haven't been able to get over her for four bloody years, Dad."

"These things take time."

"This will not take time," he pushed himself away from the table violently and stood. "I'm not going to get over this."

"Well of course you feel like that now, James," his mother was trying to calm him down. "But, honestly, this is for the best."

That infuriated James. "The best would be if Lily and I were still together."

"James…." Sirius tried.

"Shut up Sirius, I'm sure Dorcas will be here soon," he spat as he stormed from the room.

Sometime later that night, James heard a knock on the door. He opened it angrily, shouting "WHAT?" to a terrified-looking Sirius.

"It's your Dad," he said.

James was shocked. "What happened?"

Sirius exhaled. "Your mum just woke me. She had to rush him off to St. Mungo's. She said that they were getting ready for bed and he sort of froze up and then clutched his arm. Then he just collapsed."

James was already getting dressed. "We've got to go," he said quickly.

"I know," Sirius nodded.

Within five minutes, James was ready: the look of terror on his face mixed with determination. "Come on," he said.

Immediately James and Sirius apparated to the entrance of St. Mungo's. They rushed up to the window.

"We're here to see Douglas Potter," James said quickly. When the glass disappeared, Sirius and James scrambled in. Ignoring the large crowd with Christmas-related injuries, including one witch who seemed to have a goose stuck on her head, James and Sirius ran to the Inquiries desk.

"Can I help you?" the red-headed witch chomping on gum asked without looking up from her magazine.

"We're here to see Douglas Potter. We're his sons."

Slowly she put the magazine aside and pulled out a list. James and Sirius moved around impatiently.

"Here it is," she said; her face growing grave. "He's on the Second Floor. 3rd door to the left. The healers are still with him though."

James looked pale, but nodded. The two sprinted up the staircase and ran down the corridor. Mrs. Potter was sitting in a chair outside of a room; her head in her hands.

"What is it, Mum?" James asked, out of breath.

Abagail Potter looked up; tears resting in the wrinkles just under her eyes. "They think its Horklump Fever. Its gone after his heart and…" She sniffed. "They don't think they can heal the damage it's done.

"Is he going to…to..." James gasped for air.

She nodded; a hand covering her mouth. "I think so."

James leaned over his mother; embracing her. Sirius leaned against the wall; holding his breath.

After a few minutes, a middle-aged wizard with blonde hair and graying temples came out of Douglas Potter's room. His brow was furrowed.

"Mrs. Potter," he said. "I wish I had some other news to give you, but I'm afraid there's nothing we can do. It's only a matter of time."

She gasped violently, but responded strongly. "How long?"

The healer blinked. "A few hours."

Abagail Potter covered her face with her hands and began to sob. James continued to embrace her; rubbing her back, but beginning to tear up as well.

"Is he awake?" Sirius asked.

The healer nodded. "And completely coherent, though I don't know for how long. He's asking to see the three of you."

"The three of us?" Sirius asked.

"He'd want to see you as much as us, Sirius," Mrs. Potter said.

"He is very tired, though not in any pain," the healer continued. "We've seen to that."

"Thank you," Abagail said; standing slowly. "Come on boys, let's go in."

She led the way through the door into a room with a single bed. Douglas Potter had the money to pay for a private room. He looked very pale and awfully slight in the big bed. James saw for the first time the gray of his father's hair, the wrinkles around his eyes. When had he gotten old?

As they entered the room, he reached an arm toward them. They walked to the side of the bed and Douglas grabbed Abagail's hand; squeezing it weakly. He smiled at the boys.

"So I guess I'm going to die," he said, breaking the tension. Abagail made a noise, James looked away, and Sirius exhaled. "It's alright. I'm an old man. I've had a full life. I've had an amazing marriage, a wonderful son and, of course, you Sirius. I'm going out on top."

"Dad," "James said. "I'm sorry… about tonight."

Douglas laughed, but soon began to cough violently. When he had recovered, he smiled at his son. "Don't worry about it James. I know what its like to be in love. You should go after her, you know."

James nodded, his lips pursed in grief.

"And you Sirius," he looked at the taller boy. "You keep track of that Dorcas girl. Any girl that can hold _your_ attention deserves it. And both of you be brave. I would be lying if I said that I wanted to stick around and watch things get worse. But you two could make the biggest difference in the world."

Tears were now streaming down Abagail's face. Douglas reached up to cup her cheek gently and she placed her hand on top of his. "Oh Abby," he smiled.

"I'm not going to be able to do this, Doug."

"You are the strongest woman I have ever met, Abagail Williams Potter," he said. "There is nothing you can't do."

"I love you," she gasped.

"I love you too," a tear fell from his hazel eyes.

"What about the company?" she finally asked.

"It's theirs," he said. "But, of course, you should run it until they finish school."

"Dad," James' jaw dropped. "You're giving us the station."

"Of course, James," he said. "You and Sirius will be perfect. I can't think of two people I would rather run the Wireless Wizarding Network."

Sirius felt a tear fell down his cheek. "Thank you so much, Mr. Potter."

"You know how much I hate it when you call me that, Sirius Black," he smirked at his surrogate son.

"Alright, Doug, thank you."

"It's nothing at all."

James smiled at Sirius.

"Boys, I'd like to say goodbye to my wife."

Sirius leaned down to embrace the man he thought of as a father so much more then his own. When James hugged his father, he feared that it might be the last time.

"Goodbye Dad," he said, sighing. "I love you."

"I love you too son."

James and Sirius left the room and climbed the three more floors to the waiting room and tea shop silently. When they got there, Sirius mentioned something about using a loo, and James collapsed on a sofa; trying to digest everything that had just happened. He replayed the way his father had held his mother's face in his hand and couldn't help but think that what he wanted more than anything in the world right now was Lily to wrap her arms around him.

Sirius returned and they looked at each other; having no idea what to say. Instead they sat there silently for what felt like hours. Sirius went to get a cup of tea at one point. He'd lied down on the sofa at some point. James was just about to fall asleep when there was a huge commotion in the corridor.

"Miss," someone called. "Miss, you can't just burst in here. Miss?"

James looked up and saw what he was sure was a hallucination. Lily was sprinting towards him. Still in her pajamas; her red hair streaming behind her, she was looking at him with fear, anxiety, and anticipation. As she ran to him, she called his name. He sat up and his mouth opened in surprise. Was she really there?

"James," she finally reached him, breathing heavily. "I came as soon as I got Sirius' letter. How is he? How are you?"

James was so overwhelmed that his eyes shut in exhaustion. Lily sat next to him.

"James?" she was so nervous. He could tell. "James?"

Before he knew what else to do, he collapsed into her lap, sobbing and clenching her hand to his face. She leaned over him; gently stroking his hair with her other hand and cooing gently. "its okay, James," she whispered in his ear. "I'm not going anywhere."

Abagail came up to get the boys at about 4 o'clock in the morning.

She had stopped crying, "He doesn't have much time left, boys."

Dorcas had shown up at some point during the night although James and Lily had been so involved with each other that neither had noticed. James and Sirius had both swallowed hard and released a few tears when she had given them the news. The boys followed Abagail back down to Doug's room. James' heart was beating so fast as his mother pushed open the door. His father was even paler than he had been a few hours before and so exhausted he didn't open his eyes or speak. Closing her eyes, Abagail walked to the side of her husband's bed and took hold of his hand. James walked to the other side, placing a hand on his father's shoulder. Sirius remained near the door, unable to approach the dying man.

"I love you Doug." Abagail whispered.

Doug took a deep weak breath in response and James felt the lump rising in his throat. Sirius crossed his arms tightly across his chest.

James felt his father's breathing weaken as the minutes passed by. When his shoulders stopped moving, he pulled his hand away in fear.

"Mum?" he whispered.

Abagail's eyes were closed, tears squeezing from them. Her grip on Douglas' limp hand had tightened.

"Doug…." She said quietly, squeezing his hand. When his body didn't respond, Abagail very reluctantly let go of his hand and began fingering her wedding ring. "Go get the healer, James" she managed to get out.

Abagail dealt with the all the paperwork and soon there was nothing left to do but head home. Dorcas had kissed Sirius hard; saying she had to go. He had taken it as well as he could have all things considered.

When they all arrived home, the huge house seemed cold. Abagail went almost immediately to bed since she hadn't slept at all. Sirius, James, and Lily sat in his room for awhile, but soon Sirius had left too; preferring to grieve alone if not with Dorcas.

"Why don't you go home, Lily?" James said. "It's Christmas." They were sitting on his bed facing each other.

She shook her head and took his hand in hers.

"You should be with your family," his sad eyes were boring into hers.

"Vermin's there," she chuckled. Then, more tenderly, "Besides, I am with my family, James."

His mouth suddenly opened. "Do you mean that, Lily?"

She nodded and suddenly smiled. "I love you James Potter. You are my family."

He looked as if he would cry again, but swallowed the tears instead. "I love you too Lily."

She kissed him gently on the mouth and he held her to him. He kept hold of her when the kiss had ended. They remained in the position for a long time, examining each other's faces. Then James pulled her in again and kissed her again. She smiled and, very slowly, began to place soft wet kisses along his jaw and down to his collarbone. He gasped, whispering her name over and over again. His hands tangled through her fiery hair. She continued downward at the same slow pace, pulling off his tee-shirt. He clung to her waist and stroked her as she worshipped his body with her lips. When she had finished with his torso, she returned to his face and kissed him on the lips again.

"I love you," she repeated. "I love you."

Eager to prove his own love, James watched her burning green eyes with the deepest adoration possible as she unbuttoned her pajama top. When she placed it next to her, he reached out and touched her gently; stroking and caressing her with his Quidditch-calloused fingers. She closed her eyes and moaned gently. Then, he pushed her hair back and gave her a long, sensuous kiss that seemed to last for hours. She took his glasses off for him and laid them on the table next to the bed.

"I love you Lily," he said. Then, something struck him: he'd never done this before. Neither had she. "Lily," he said; a question in his voice.

She nodded vigorously, although there was a twinge of nervousness in her voice. "I want to, James. More than anything, I want to."

Taking a deep breath, he climbed off of the bed. She did the same thing. Standing there on opposite sides of his bed, they undressed facing each other. Both were breathing quickly and nervously, but a deep love burned between their eyes and the sun streaming in from James' window lit them up brightly. Lily moved first; lying down on the bed and offering herself to him. He climbed on top of her; a hand on each side of her.

"You're beautiful," he gasped.

She smiled up at him and then nodded; her eyes fluttering. He entered her and she gasped; wrapping her arms and legs around him and saying his name breathily. He moaned her name back to her, but neither closed their eyes or ever let the other's slip away. When they had finished, James kissed her softly and she ran a hand along his cheek.

"I love you," they said; almost in unison. Then they both turned on their sides; Lily's back against James' front; his arm wrapped lovingly around her. She grasped his hand and held it close against her. Soon, they had fallen asleep.


	28. Chapter 28

When James and Lily had woken wrapped in each other's arms late that night, he had squeezed her tightly to his bare chest. 'I'm so glad you came."

"Me too," she held his forearm just under her breasts.

"So we're back together, right?"

She laughed.

"Sirius is one hell of a mate."

"Yeah," she nuzzled up closer; closing her eyes. "He is."

He kissed her on the crown.

Lily spent the rest of the holiday at the Potters. She was amazing at pulling James from his sorrow over his father's death; spending hours just holding his head in her lap or squeezing his hand. Sirius spent the rest of his holiday in his room; trying to release all the sorrow he felt without Dorcas' help. Part of him hated James. Lily only left the day before they were to leave for Hogwarts to get her things together and say goodbye to her parents.

When everyone did return to Hogwarts, the romance between the Head Boy and Head Girl was unavoidable. James would kiss Lily in the middle of meals, in the middle of class, and in the middle of the halls. She was smiling at him constantly; seeming to need him by her side at all times. He stopped the pranks. They weren't nearly as fun as this was.

Feeling rather deserted, the other Marauders tried to keep up their noble work, but without James it just never came together the way it used to. The reign of the Marauders was officially over. Peter seemed to take it the hardest. He really didn't have much else. The Marauders had been his life. Remus had shrugged it off well enough; saying that it was probably good that they were growing out of their pranks. Sirius had sulked around for awhile, but eventually let it go. The three of them didn't even really hang out together all that much anymore. Remus was becoming better and better friends with Gwendolyn and Sirius now spent most of the time he wasn't with James with Dorcas.

One day at the end of January, James, Lily, Sirius, Dorcas, and Peter were sitting at the Gryffindor table eating breakfast. Remus was away at the shack.

"Does he have the flu?" Dorcas asked; pouring herself more coffee.

"No," James shook his head. "It's not the flu. But don't worry about it. I'm sure he'll be fine."

She shrugged. "He sure is sick a lot."

Sirius looked down at his toast, frowning. Dorcas' ignorance was turning into a problem. Remus' condition had a tendency to come up during their conversations. With Dorcas around, they couldn't talk about it. Sirius couldn't tell her; it wasn't his secret to give. He also couldn't demand, or even ask, Remus to tell her. The situation was complicated.

Professor McGonagall was walking over to them. She was wearing an awfully grave expression. "Potter, Black, Pettigrew, could you come with me please?"

The five friends looked around at each other as the boys rose, shrugging and followed McGonagall to her office. When they reached the room and had entered, McGonagall sat down at her desk.

"Boys," she conjured three chairs in front of her desk. "Please sit."

They obeyed the Professor and sat. She rubbed her forehead and sighed. "Remus Lupin's parents were attacked last night," she said. "They were able to escape; although Mrs. Lupin is in St. Mungo's. I thought I ought to tell the three of you since he is indisposed at the moment. The story of the attacks will probably come out before he returns." She interwove her fingers as she finished.

James and Sirius looked at each other and swallowed hard. Peter looked at his feet.

"So they're alright, then?" James asked.

She nodded. "Yes Potter, they are both alright. Still, Remus will need to leave school to visit his mother as soon as possible. I will tell Mr. Lupin the news myself, but I think it would be wise if the three of you are present when I do."

The three boys nodded gravely.

* * *

"But they're alright?" Lily asked later that night in the Head Boy and Girl's chambers.

"Yeah," James nodded, frowning. "His mother's in the hospital, but she'll be fine in a few weeks."

Lily sighed and leaned her head against James' shoulder. After a while, a tear fell from her green eyes. James wiped it away and kissed her softly on the forehead.

"Don't worry Lily," he whispered. "We're safe. I promise. I'll always protect you."

* * *

"Where is he?" Dorcas asked. She and Sirius were lying in bed, as usual. She was propped up on her elbow attempting to get Sirius to spill the beans.

"I can't tell you, Dorcas," he sighed.

She frowned. "But…"

"I can't tell you," he said again.

"Does this have something to do with what happened in April? I still don't know what you did that night, you know."

He gritted his teeth. "And I still can't tell you, Dorcas."

"Are you ever going to tell me?" She rolled back over on to her back; sighing.

"It's none of your business," he said.

She looked very taken aback and rolled back up on her side. "We are dating, aren't we?"

"It doesn't matter," he said; not looking at her. "I still can't tell you. Besides, if you think this is so serious, why didn't you stay on Christmas?"

"I told you I was sorry about that," she said quietly; almost shamefully. "I just couldn't."

"Well," he said sarcastically. "I just can't tell you."

"Don't be childish."

"Dorcas," he screamed at her. "Just let it go, okay?"

She blinked. "I'm going to bed," she said flatly; climbing out of his bed and hurrying back to the girl's dormitories.

Sirius exhaled hugely and punched the bed hard.

* * *

It was three days later that Remus returned. He was immediately called to Professor McGonagall's office. James, Sirius, and Peter were already there. They sat in three wooden chairs; nervously waiting for their friend's arrival. Professor McGonagall was sitting in her own chair behind her desk; looking a bit nervous.

Remus opened the door; looking absolutely awful. His eyes were even bigger than usual, he was pale, there was a huge scratch running from his temple down to the middle of his cheek, and his wispy hair was matted horribly. He rubbed at the scratch and held up a note. "You wanted to see me, Professor."

"Yes, Mr. Lupin," she motioned at a chair in between James and Peter.

He sat down and looked around; obviously confused as to why the other three were in the room with him. He looked from James to Sirius and then at Peter, who was almost white. Suddenly, a flicker of some sort of comprehension was noticeable in his eyes.

"Does she know?" he whispered to James. "About the three of you?"

James shook his head and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"The reason I have called you in so soon after your recent illness is because a very terrible event took place while you were up at the shrieking shack," she took a breath.

Remus looked at James, whose hand was still on his shoulder, with huge eyes bloodshot from exhaustion. James tried to look strong for Remus' sake.

"Your parents were attacked by a group of Death Eaters four days ago."

Remus immediately went completely white; his hand shaking terribly. He opened his mouth to ask a question, but McGonagall beat him to it.

"They're fine," she said quickly. "They were able to leave almost immediately, although your mother was hit with a curse as she was apparating. She's in St. Mungo's at the moment and expected to make a full recovery."

Remus looked relieved and got a little color back in his face. He swallowed hard.

"It was Greyback, wasn't it?" he asked quietly; looking at the floor.

"All I know was that it was a group of three death eaters," McGonagall said.

"It was Greyback," he confirmed.

"It's alright Remus," Peter said, putting a shaky hand on his other shoulder. "Your parents are fine."

Remus nodded; but still looked awfully depressed.

"As soon as you're ready, your father would like to come pick you up, Mr. Lupin," McGonagall said. "I know this comes as a shock, but you should listen to Mr. Pettigrew. Your parents are very lucky to be alive."

Remus nodded again; not looking up. "Tell him I'll be ready in an hour."

"Alright, Mr. Lupin," McGonagall nodded. "Boys, why don't you help him up to the dormitory?"

Remus stood; his hands still shaking and shook his head. "I'll be fine. I'd rather be alone."

Sirius and James both stood. Peter looked over a porky shoulder.

"Are you sure, mate?" Sirius asked.

Remus nodded. "Yeah, I'd rather be alone."

"Alright," James said; a frown on his face. "If you change your mind…"

"Yeah," he nodded quickly, "I know."

James and Sirius exchanged worried glances as Remus left the room. Remus walked out of McGonagall's office and stopped. The shock was beginning to wear off and suddenly, he felt an intense anger and an all-consuming sadness begin to fill his body. It was similar to the way he felt right before he transformed; a huge "why" dominating his mind. His eyes slipping out of focus, he walked blindly back to Gryffindor tower. He didn't notice the way students whispered to each other as he passed. The story had been published in _The Daily Prophet_ two days earlier.

When he reached the portrait hole, he realized he didn't know the password, which had changed while he had been gone.

_"Damn,"_ he thought. Now he'd have to sit here and wait for Sirius and Peter to come back; both of whom would act awkward and confused around him. He had seen the way they'd acted around Owen, Gwen, and Annabelle when their families had been attacked. He couldn't bear one of Peter's awkward back patting sessions or Sirius' complete silence. A silent Sirius proved that something was wrong.

Remus breathed a sigh of relief when he saw a slender blonde girl climbing the stairs.

"Gwen," he said. "I don't know the password."

She smiled slightly at him. "No problem. It's Doxy Eggs."

The portrait hole swung open and the two of them entered the common room.

"Thanks," he muttered; immediately turning for the boys' staircase.

"Remus," she called.

"Yeah?" He turned his head; eyes still unfocused in his grief.

"I heard about your parents," she said softly; her blue eyes trying to gauge his emotions. "You know, if you ever want to talk, I do know what it's like to have my family attacked by…by Him."

Remus' eyes slid back into focus for a second. He pursed his lips and nodded. He turned again to go up the stairs. Then he turned back to her. She had begun the trek up the stairs. "Did you feel this unbelievable anger?"

She turned around; her blonde hair floating around her, and slowly nodded

"Does it go away?" he asked; pleading with her to give him the right answer.

Her brow furrowed a little and she pressed her lips together as if she wanted to say something, but wasn't sure she could.

"No," she said softly. "But you learn to live with it."

He nodded; sighing. "Thanks Gwen."

She smiled warmly at him.


	29. Chapter 29

About a week after Remus departed with his father, there was another attack. Isabelle Stuart was orphaned. She and Myles sped off to go visit the rest of her family. It was after this that Professor Slughorn announced his retirement. He claimed that he was an old man who was ready to live his life in even more comfort than he already did. Everyone knew, however, that Slughorn was terrified of the things that were happening and the people who were doing them. He just wanted to disappear.

Even with Slughorn's impending retirement, he was still piling work on the 7th years who had N.E.W.T's coming up at the end of term. The middle of February was especially bad. Dorcas and Lily were spending every waking moment in the library; looking up antidotes and effects and who knows what else that could show up on the exam. James and Sirius had always hated Potions.

One night, Dorcas was there until the very last moment Madam Pince would let her. Lily had left her hours ago; completely exhausted. She checked out the books that she had been using. Well, she checked out one of the books she was using, since the rest were in the restricted section. Exiting the library, she yawned loudly. She really needed to sleep. The thought of going up to Sirius crossed her mind, but she dismissed it quickly. They hadn't quite made up since the night Remus' family was attacked. She wished he would just tell her. Whatever had happened that night couldn't have been _that_ scandalous. And she _was _sorry that she didn't stay at Christmas the way Lily did. Part of her had been screaming for her to stay, but another part had been screaming at her to leave. She knew she should have stayed, but in the end, she just left. Merlin, she was such a bloody coward.

As she rounded the corner, Dorcas suddenly felt her body completely stiffen. She fell to the ground hard. When she tried to get up, she found she couldn't move. She tried again. Her arm wouldn't bend. Complete terror filled her and she tried to scream, but she couldn't get the air out. Suddenly she heard an evil chuckle and footsteps. Evan Rosier was smiling evilly over her.

"I'd hoped that I would catch the mudblood," he said, his dark eyes squinting. "But this will work well too."

Dorcas' eyes, the only part of her body that could move, grew exponentially.

"_Move Dorcas,"_ she screamed at herself; knowing that she couldn't.

She tried to move her arm again, but the spell had her frozen. Her eyes must have betrayed her because Rosier laughed.

"I wouldn't try anymore, Meadowes," he laughed again. "That's an awfully strong freezing spell."

Dorcas tried to scream again and Rosier laughed again.

"I can't wait for Black to find you," he snarled. Then he grabbed both of her legs and dragged her into an open classroom. Her hair caught on a jagged spot on the stone floor. It pulled painfully as Rosier continued to drag her and finally a few hairs were ripped from her scalp. Her arms banged painfully as he pulled her over the threshold of the classroom Finally, he threw down her legs in front of the large desk at the front of the room. The pain was so intense that Dorcas was sure her entire body would be bruised tomorrow. If she lived until tomorrow. Rosier went back to the door and kicked it shut; leering at her and rubbing his hands together. Dorcas noticed that the door didn't close all the way.

* * *

Sirius was not going to tell Dorcas what had happened that night. That was it. She would just have to get used to it. And he was still angry about Christmas. But all the same, he hated being mad at her. He was pacing his dormitory; trying to figure out some solution.

After a few minutes, he plopped down on his bed. The only thing he could do was explain to her that he wanted to tell her, but that it was something Remus had to tell her. Did he actually want to tell her the truth? He'd never considered it.

He pondered this question, but decided that the answer really didn't matter. Eager to have this thing over and done with, he walked out of his dormitory and down to the common room. Remus and Gwen were sitting by the couch talking. Peter was off to the side; attempting to be part of the conversation.

"Oy Moony," he yelled. "Do you know where Dorcas is?"

Gwen answered for him. "She's still in the library."

Sirius made a noise that expressed his deep-seated hatred for the library and exited the portrait hole. He made his way down to the library quickly; scratching his head in anxiety the whole way. She had better accept this. He didn't have any other options.

As he turned into the corridor to the library, he noticed that a door on the right side of the corridor was ajar. As he passed it, he turned his head to look inside. The door was only cracked so he couldn't see anything, but he did hear a voice.

"There's nothing you can do," someone drawled; malicious laughter in the male voice. "This will teach that blood-traitor to ignore the power that we have."

Sure that Lily had been attacked by some disgusting pure-blood-maniac, Sirius burst open the door. He was completely shocked to see that it wasn't Lily frozen on the floor with Evan Rosier poised over her, but Dorcas. Her robes were disheveled and her hair was tangled all around her head. It was obvious she had been dragged in here. The anger Sirius felt was like nothing he had ever known. His hatred for Cade Bradley seemed like a flicker compared with the burning Sirius felt in his stomach.

"LET HER GO!" he yelled; pulling out his wand. "NOW!"

Rosier turned and scowled slightly. "Black," he spat.

"I said let her go," he gestured to Dorcas, whose fear-filled eyes fueled Sirius' anger even more.

"Why should I?" Rosier growled, smirking.

"Because if you don't, I'm going to kill you," Sirius advanced on Rosier, who finally pulled out his wand.

"You seem to enjoy threatening to kill me, Black, but you don't have the courage to ever actually do it."

"I don't, do I?" Sirius' wand was now pressed up against Rosier's neck. "If you don't let her go, I'll show you exactly how wrong you are."

Rosier scowled a little. "You seem angry, Black," he said. "Is she really _that_ important? I mean I'm sure I would have loved to fuck her, but…"

Sirius jammed his wand hard against Rosier's neck; so hard that Rosier couldn't breathe for a few seconds.

"LET HER GO!"

Rosier glanced over at Dorcas; still frozen on the floor. Then he looked back at Sirius' furious eyes. After a second, he flicked his wrist and Dorcas was freed. She curled up into a ball and pulled herself into a sitting position; huddling against the large desk next to her. Sirius dropped his arm.

"Going to kill me now, Black?" Rosier scowled, as he scrambled around him to the door and ran out of the room.

Sirius stood there for a second; watching Dorcas curl tighter and tighter into a ball.

"Are you alright?" he asked; watching the door that Rosier had just bolted from.

She didn't answer.

"Dorcas?" he walked slowly towards her; leaning over and placing a hand on her hair. She flinched.

"Come on," he said; offering her his hand. "Let's go."

She didn't move. He crouched down to her level. She wouldn't look at him.

"You can't stay here all night," he said.

IHt was obvious that that was exactly what Dorcas wanted to do. She kept staring at the floor. He reached out a hand again; laying it on her shoulder. She didn't react; but her breathing became a little louder.

Very slowly, Sirius slid an arm under her bent knees and another around her back.

"Come on," he whispered. She finally looked at his kind eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck. He lifted her slowly. She remained in that tight ball and snuggled her head tightly against his chest. He held his wand in the hand under her legs. Pointing it in front of them, he began walking back to Griffindor tower. As he walked, the tension in her body grew. The arm around her back tightened its grasp.

Climbing in through the portrait hole with Dorcas in his arms was a little difficult, but somehow Sirius was able to. The minute he entered the room, everyone turned to stare at them.

"Sirius," Remus stood. "What…?"

He shook his head; a look of urgency in his eyes and Remus stopped talking. Sirius walked up the stairs to the boys' dormitories. With the hand that held his wand, he fumbled with the door knob, but was able to turn it. He gently kicked the door open and carried Dorcas to his bed. As gently as he possibly could, he laid her down on his bed. She immediately tightened up in an even smaller ball than before; her hands wrapped around each other in a ball at her neck. Sirius sat next to Dorcas; a large hand splayed on her shoulder blade.

He took a huge breath and was brutally aware of her complete silence. He brushed the hair that covered her face away. She was white: ghost white. He was surprised to find that her face was completely emotionless; her eyes frozen in their open position. She looked dead. It absolutely terrified him. She wasn't even trembling. He had no idea what to do with this overwhelming feeling of protectiveness he had for this girl.

Sighing, he laid next to her, resting his chin on her shoulder and kissing it. She didn't react. Desperate to give her some sort of life, he pressed his body as close to hers as he could; hopeful that his warmth would somehow transfer to her. As he pressed closer to her, her muscles began to relax a bit. His legs bent around hers and one arm slipped through the space between her waist and the bed. The other he draped over her middle. Cautiously, while kissing her shoulder again, he wrapped both of his hands around hers so that every inch of their bodies was lined up and touching.

He didn't say anything as they laid there wrapped around her. Occasionally would kiss the place where her neck became her shoulder or rub her forearms. At some point a few hours later, the other boys came up to the dormitory. Sirius caught Remus' eye and gestured at the posts with his head. Remus nodded, understanding, and began close the curtains around Sirius' bed. Sirius smiled his thanks and Remus nodded again. Then looking at Dorcas, a concerned look crossed his face and biting a lip, he closed the final curtain.

Sirius wasn't sure exactly when, but at some point that night, Dorcas had fallen asleep. He was so relieved when felt her back moving against his chest that he had actually let out a loud sigh of relief. Then he had been terrified that he'd woken her and raised his head a little to look at her face. She was still in a peaceful, deep sleep. The calm look on her sleeping face had given him even more relief than the pressure of her breath. He lay his head back on her shoulder; kissing her long neck, her jaw, her cheek on the way there. Then he let his head fall into her thick, dark hair and breathed her in. The arm under her had begun to tingle rather nastily, but Sirius didn't dare move it. At this moment, he couldn't imagine anything worse than waking her.

Sighing, he tightened around her and felt the most amazing sort of pain-filled happiness run through his entire body. He had nothing to even compare it to; it was so all-consuming. It felt like something inside of him had cracked, but some warm liquid had burst from it and now flowed all through his veins; mingling with his blood.

He rubbed his cheek against hers to get even closer. For the first time, Sirius understood exactly what James had said the night the pulled that prank in the Ravenclaw common room because for the first time, he understood that what he and Dorcas had was not about sex. It was an amazing revelation for Sirius Black – ladies' man of Hogwarts. He never thought that he was this kind of bloke. James had always been the romantic one and Remus the sensitive one. He was just the one girls went to for a quick shag, and he had always been happy to give it to them. But Sirius no longer wanted a quick shag. He just wanted Dorcas. Only Dorcas. He loved her.


	30. Chapter 30

When Sirius had kneeled down next to Dorcas on the floor in that classroom, all she had felt was shame: shame about what had happened to her, shame at the way she had treated Sirius, but mostly shame that she was lying on this floor helpless. It was far worse than the night he had found her crying. He had saved her from Merlin knows what and despite her gratitude, all she could think was that she couldn't save herself. She was not a damsel in distress. She had hated herself for becoming one.

But when she had felt his arms wrap around her and seen the fear in his eyes, she found that all she wanted was him as close to her as possible. The minute she was in his arms she felt safer. The pain and the embarrassment of it all were still there but she knew that in his arms, it wouldn't happen again. Curling up against his chest and sensing the way he always smelled a little like leather, she felt as if she couldn't get close enough. Suddenly she was struck with the fear that someone (someone like Rosier) would come and tear him away from her, and her body tightened even more.

When he had laid her gently on the bed, she had just wanted him to wrap his arms around her, but still in shock, she had no idea how to ask him to. When he did it anyway, she had closed her eyes for the first time since Rosier had stunned her. When he wrapped his body around hers, she immediately felt the life returning to her. She relaxed a little and let his warmth flow into her.

Still the fears plagued her. The events of the night played over and over in her head: the way Rosier had sneered at her, called her Black's whore. But as she lay there with Sirius' head on her shoulder, she knew she wasn't his whore. The thoughts of Rosier began to fade. She felt safer and safer the longer they lay there, the more he kissed that place on her neck, the more she felt his heart beating against her back. And for the first time, it wasn't his body. Well, it was his body, but there was something else passing between the two of them; something that hadn't been there before. He was trying to give her something he never had.

She had fallen asleep in his arms the moment she had realized that; the moment she realized that he felt the way she had since June. And when she had woken sometime in the early morning; feeling his hot breath on her neck as he slept, leaving didn't even cross her mind. She simply pulled his arms closer to her and fell back to sleep; wishing she could stay there forever.

* * *

The next few weeks were peppered with both happiness and sorrow. There were more attacks, of course. Adelbert Harper's sister was killed. The Prewetts, whose children Dorcas had grown up alongside, were killed. Jude Bennett's parents were in St. Mungo's and the outlook was not good. Despite all of this sorrow, or perhaps because of it, students began to get engaged left and right. Isabelle and Myles were first; announcing their intentions when they returned from her parents' funeral. Then Baxter Stebbins and Wendy Smyth announced the same thing. Annabelle and Owen, who had been married over Christmas, dropped a bombshell when Annabelle announced that she was pregnant. When James asked her about Quidditch, she had laughed in his face. As if Quidditch was important anymore. Everyone seemed to be suddenly grown-up.

Sirius and Dorcas' relationship changed rather drastically after that night. In the days following her attack, they spent every possible moment together. He would squeeze her hand hard whenever they passed Rosier in the hall and she would hold her head as high as possible; forcing herself to ignore him. Then he would wrap his arms around her when he was gone and she collapsed from the fear, anger, and embarrassment. She wouldn't stop apologizing about deserting him after Mr. Potter's death and he wouldn't stop telling her how much he wished he could tell her what had happened that night. He found that he loved to just hold her hand; their long fingers curling together. She loved to stare at his eyes; constantly reading the emotions that were only obvious there. Instead of just shagging after an attack, they found that they could lie there holding each other. The night of the attack on Riley Tobias' family was the first time Dorcas slept the whole night next to Sirius after they had made love. After that, she stayed every time. He would hold her tightly to him as they slept. She would hold his arm to her belly with her own. Since he knew she wouldn't wake him, Sirius made it a point to wake up early so he could kiss her goodbye as she hurried back to her bedroom in the morning; praying one of the other boys wouldn't see her. He'd lay back on his bed; closing his eyes and feeling the emotions he had for Dorcas Meadowes as deeply as he could. Then he would smile slightly, roll over, and go back to sleep only to be awoken by Remus an hour later. Sirius had never known he could feel so incredible.

* * *

James was lying on his bed; looking up at the ceiling and reliving the time his father had taken him to the World Quidditch Cup in Rome when he was 9. He saw the way his father had smiled at him as he screamed for the English team; the hazel eyes he had inherited squinting. He felt the deft hand patting him on the head. A bludger had almost hit them that day and James felt his father's strong arms push him out of the way of the ball.

He was vaguely aware of his door opening at some point during his memory. When Lily had laid her head gently on his chest, he began to stroke her hair absent-mindedly.

"He took me to the Quidditch World Cup when I was nine," he said; still looking up at the ceiling. "It was in Rome. England vs. Poland. It was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen."

She smiled against him and he glanced down at her fiery head. James didn't know how he would have handled the three months since his father's death without Lily. She had held him when he cried, laughed with him at the memories he shared and been next to him when he was so depressed he couldn't react at all. He loved her for it. She reminded him that his future still lay ahead; that their future still lay ahead.

"Lily," he said. "Do you ever think about what's going to happen when we leave school?"

"Mm hmm," he heard her say.

"Well, what do you think?"

She turned her head up and looked at him. "Mostly I think about us," she shrugged.

He grinned in spite of himself. "What sorts of things about us?"

"Oh," she blushed a bit and buried her face in his chest. "Silly stuff really; just being able to be alone with you whenever I want."

He kissed her head. "Yeah," he smiled. "That will be brilliant."

She laughed and went on. "Sometimes, I think about us in a house of our own," she held a hand that lay at his side. "I'm waiting for you and when you come in, you hug me and then kiss me."

"Like in those Muggle romance novels you like so much?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head and he felt it against it against his chest. "Not at all. You've obviously never read one. They're all about mysterious strangers and gratuitous shagging. That's not what I see. Or what I want. I want someone who knows me, someone who loves me, someone who'll love me forever."

"Someone who's already loved you forever?" he asked.

She looked up at him again and smiled. Then she lifted her head, nodded, and kissed him on the lips. Her head fell back on his chest and he continued his stroking; occasionally kissing her head.

"James," she asked quietly.

"Hmm?" he moaned; looking back at the ceiling.

"Do you ever worry about _Him_?" she asked. "That once we're out of Hogwarts we won't be safe anymore?"

James wanted nothing more than to lie to her, but he couldn't. They weren't even safe at Hogwarts. Look at what had happened to Dorcas. If anything like that happened to Lily, he didn't know what he would do.

"All the time," he said.

She snuggled in closer to him and he wrapped his free arm around her.

"So do I. But you know, I'm not nearly as scared of him as I am of losing you. As long as I have you, everything will always be right."

James sighed, "I love you Lily."

She sat up and looked at him; breathing sharply. "We have to fight him, James, you know we have to."

James' father's words rang in his ears. He and Sirius could make all the difference in the world, but with Lily fighting this bastard had no chance. "I know," he nodded gravely and then smiling slightly, "and he'll hate us more than anyone."

Lily actually chuckled. "If you annoy him half as much as you annoyed the Slytherins for the past 7 years, I'm sure he will."

She put her head back in its original position and he hugged her with both of his arms. They lay there for a few minutes silently until James felt a pool of tears seeping through his tee-shirt.

"Lily…"

"I'm so scared James," she said quietly.

"So am I, sweetheart." He sighed sadly. "It's not fair that we have to live like this. I wish more than anything that we could have my parents' life. It's what I always imagined. But…"

"Things happen," she offered.

"Yeah," he put a hand to his forehead.

"Merlin," she sighed.

"I want to tell you that I'll always keep you safe, Lily…"

"You know I can take care of myself, Potter."

He smiled and looked down. She was looking up at him with tear-stained, but smiling, green eyes. "I've heard that, yes."

"And don't you dare get yourself hurt," she said. "Or I might have to break up with you again."

He smiled slightly. "I don't think I could handle that. I might have to ask him to kill me if that happened."

"Well," she said. "Then make sure it never happens."

"I will," he said; nodding. "You promise you won't get hurt either?"

She nodded. He kissed her. They separated and he looked at her; taking in every single detail of her face. Tears burned the back of his eyes as he realized what awaited them just months away. He kissed her again and felt just how much he loved the woman that lay on his chest. He'd kill for her, he'd die for her. Hell, he would die without her.

* * *

The next morning James was up early. He spent twenty minutes writing to his mother. After he had sent the letter off with his owl, Yorick, he went immediately to see Sirius.

Dorcas was still there and the two of them had suddenly shot awake when James arrived. Untangling herself from Sirius, Dorcas kissed him softly and smiling, she left the dormitory. Sirius watched her leave with a bemused look on his face.

"That seems to be going quite well," James said; watching Sirius' face and smirking.

"It is," Sirius grinned. "What are you doing here so bloody early, by the way?"

James smiled and then took a breath. "I'm gonna do it, mate. I'm going to ask her."

Sirius' jaw dropped and then he grinned again; punching his friend in the shoulder. "Congratulations mate!"

James couldn't contain the gigantic smile that was taking over his face.

"I want to do something big. Marauder-style, you know. Will you help?"

"Of course," Sirius said. "But you don't want to actually prank her, do you?"

James rolled his eyes. "Don't be a prat, Sirius."


	31. Chapter 31

In the weeks after his parents' close-call, Remus had spent hours with Gwendolyn Abercrombie. She understood better than any of his other friends what he was going through. At times he would feel guilty about being so emotional considering that his family was still alive while Gwen had lost her four cousins last year. She, however, didn't seem to think this made such a difference.

"You still get the feeling that you're not safe in your home," she said. "Just because your parents got lucky doesn't lessen that feeling."

Remus looked at his feet. She was right. "It's just not fair that you lost family and I didn't."

"Don't do that Remus," she shook her head. "None of this is fair. Don't make yourself feel guilty. It'll only make it worse. This is not your fault."

He looked up at her kind blue eyes and smiled slightly in thanks. She shrugged as if it was nothing. He was so grateful that she knew exactly what he was thinking.

"You're amazing, Gwen," he suddenly said. "How can you be so calm about this?"

She laughed. "Me…Calm? Did you see me the night Annabelle's family was killed? I was a complete mess."

"We were all a bit batty that night," Remus said; remembering that dramatic night last April.

"It just takes time, Remus," she said. And then looking down at her hands, her eyes glistened. "I still cry sometimes and Annabelle…well…if it weren't for Owen and now the baby, I don't know what she would be like, even now."

"But why does it have to happen?" he leaned back against the sofa. "Why do we have to be so scared all the time?"

Gwen didn't answer; the tears were now falling down her cheeks. She wiped them away softly; breathing slowly.

He looked over at her. "Thank you Gwen," he said. "For listening to me."

She smiled at him. "You know I don't mind, Remus."

He nodded, "but it's still nice to have someone around who knows what its like."

"I know," she said. Then she sighed, wiping away the last of her tears. "It's just nice to have someone around. Sometimes I feel rather lonely, you know, with everyone around us madly in love." She made a face.

Remus smiled. "I know. James and Sirius are bloody impossible."

"I'm living with the pregnant woman," Gwen made a gagging noise and a rude gesture. "Why Dumbledore just won't let them live in the same room is beyond me."

Remus laughed and shrugged. "Which room exactly?"

She shrugged sarcastically. "There's got to be somewhere where these ridiculous married students can live. I still can't believe she's actually going to have a baby. I've never even had a serious boyfriend. I'm beginning to feel about five years old."

Remus nodded. "James is going to propose, you know. Don't say anything."

"Not another one," she rolled her eyes and then laughed. "No, I think that's wonderful."

Remus smiled again. "It does make me feel a little insignificant."

"Honestly," she sighed and leaned back against the sofa. They sat next to each other and stared at the ceiling. "Is there something wrong with us, Remus? Is there some reason that everyone else in this bloody school is going to get married and we're sitting here being bitter?"

Remus pursed his lips. Well, he did have a reason. "There's nothing wrong with you, Gwen," he said.

She shot him a half-smile. "You're not too bad yourself, Lupin."

He shrugged; still looking at the ceiling. She sat up.

"Come on Remus," she said. Then distorting her features to make a hideous face, she said in a wheezy voice. "You don't look like this, now do you?"

He glanced at her; raising an eyebrow and trying not to smile. "Well, no wonder no one will marry you."

Her face melted into a false look of offense. "How dare you, Remus Lupin."

She slapped him playfully on the shoulder and leaned back against the couch, smiling. After a moment, his own lips curled into a smile.

"So when's the fool going to do it?" Gwendolyn asked.

"After Easter holidays," Remus answered. "He wants to get it down perfectly. He even asked Sirius if they could have practice sessions. Sirius laughed in his face."

Gwen laughed her short, squeaky chortle. "It is sweet that he's so obsessive."

Remus raised his eyebrows at her. "Sweet……but…"

"Nauseating?" they said at the same time.

They laughed for a second before Remus stopped suddenly.

"I shouldn't be making fun of James and Lily," he said; looking away. "They're two of my best mates."

Gwen pursed her lips and sighed. Then, throwing out her arms towards Remus as if presenting him as a prize on a game show, she said in a mock-announcer voice, "Ladies and Gentlemen, more unnecessary guilt."

"Hey," Remus looked back at her, somewhat sharply.

"You know James and Sirius would be ribbing you so much worse than this if you were on the verge of getting married," she tilted her head.

Remus shrugged. "True."

"Then stop being so dramatic and noble," she made a silly face at him. "We get enough of that from all those bloody Aurors at the Ministry."

"They've just been there for me when I needed them," Remus said. He shifted in his seat a little.

Gwen nodded; leaning back.

"I wouldn't want them to think I was ungrateful."

Gwen laughed. "I seriously doubt James would think you were ungrateful if he found out that you and I, two bitter single people, were mocking his unbelievably romantic relationship to make ourselves feel a bit better."

Remus finally smiled. "Alright," he said. "But we can't tell them."

"Well, obviously."

* * *

Peter watched this whole scene from across the common room. He was sitting by himself; pretending to study his Transfiguration notes. Remus had been spending most of his time with Gwendolyn lately. Peter was trying hard to remind himself that Remus had gone through something she knew about, but he felt a little abandoned. It wasn't just Remus. Sirius and James had suddenly moved on to other things – namely Lily and Dorcas. Peter had been spending more and more time alone; much like the first few months of first year before he had attached himself to James' side. He hated it. Of all times, this was when the Marauders should stick together. There was a war going on, wasn't there? Peter knew he needed the protection of friends if he was going to make it through.

He glanced over at Remus as Gwendolyn made that stupid face and scowled a little. The loss of Remus' attention was, of course, nothing compared to the loss of James'. Peter worshipped James. There was no better person in his eyes. Plus, he was popular. Peter wished more than anything that he could be like James, but he knew that he lacked the talent, the courage, the charisma that James had. He had contented himself over the past six and a half years by making himself James' biggest fan. In return, James had taken him under his wing and brought him in as one of the Marauders: albeit the 4th one. But Peter hadn't cared. With James, Sirius, and Remus around him, he had been part of the most powerful group of students at Hogwarts. No one had teased him the way they had in primary school. Well, Sirius had, but that was different. He had friends.

Now, James was with Lily, Sirius was with Dorcas, and Remus would rather talk with Gwendolyn than Peter. And the pranks were over. The thing that scared Peter even more though was the thought that once they left school, James and Sirius couldn't protect him anymore. They wouldn't be the most powerful anymore. The one-two punch of James and Sirius' run-in with the Slytherins and the attack on Dorcas had shaken Peter to the core. Being a Marauder did not save you from the danger anymore. In fact, it put you directly in its path

* * *

.Remus and Gwen's disgust grew throughout April as more and more people announced their engagements. Moira O'Neill was wearing a massive sapphire from Robert McMillan. Davy Gudgeon and Veronica Smethley announced their engagement a week after Moira and Robert. A week later, her family was attacked and the two left school for good. People whispered about the horrible children Evan Rosier and Victoria Avery would have. Dorcas didn't say a word almost the entire day she had found out about her attacker's engagement. Days after Myles Ackerley's sister was put in St. Mungo's, he and Isabelle eloped. 

As N.E.W.T.s grew even closer, the 7th years began to actually consider what they were going to do in two months after school had ended. Adelbert Harper, Cade Bradley, and Baxter Stebbins had told the entire school that they would be off to the Auror academy next year. According to Dorcas, Cade's Potions note would probably make that impossible. The Appleby Arrows had come to the last few Quidditch matches and shown an interest in a few students, including James. It was rumored that William Seymour had already been recruited.

Easter holidays came and went quicker than anyone had expected. Lily spent it with James and his mother. It was in those two weeks that James' decision to ask Lily to marry him was driven home hard. His mother had given him the emerald that had belonged to his great-grandmother Potter and that matched Lily's eyes perfectly. James couldn't contain his excitement.

Sirius spent the holiday with the Meadowes' in Kent. He finally met Urania and, to Dorcas' great surprise, did not burst out laughing when she introduced herself. Although he had ducked into the loo immediately after shaking her hand and emerged ten minutes later with tears running down his face.

"Allergies," he said. Dorcas rolled her eyes.

Her parents were both at work most of the time. Both of them held high positions in the Department of International Magical Cooperation – a rather busy organization at the moment. Her brother and sister-in-law only came for a few days before they had to head back home where Milton, a member of the Chudley Cannons, had a match. Therefore, Sirius and Dorcas had the house all to themselves almost every day.

"It's great, isn't it?" Sirius smiled; his arms wrapped around Dorcas on a sunny mid-morning near the end of holidays. "James just won't stop grinning."

"Yeah," Dorcas said. "It is wonderful. They'll be really happy."

He squeezed her closer to him and she closed her eyes in the comfort of it all.

"Sirius?" she asked.

"Yeah?"

"What do you think is going to happen after school ends?"

He nuzzled up against her shoulder. "I haven't really thought about it. I guess I'll go work at the station with James. We'll be in charge of it, you know."

Dorcas took a big breath. "Yeah, you told me. But I meant, what's going to happen with us?"

Sirius shrugged and kissed her neck. "Don't know. I haven't really thought about it. Why?"

"No reason."

"Ok," he kissed her again and Dorcas hesitated. Then she turned, smiled softly, and kissed him on the lips.


	32. Chapter 32

"What do you know about Quidditch?" Lily asked Sirius as they walked down to the Quidditch pitch with Dorcas, Remus, and Peter. For some reason Lily couldn't figure out, Jack Herman, the 5th year who had commentated the Gryffindor Quidditch matches, had let Sirius take over for the final. The part she really couldn't wrap her head around was that Dumbledore and McGonagall were allowing him to.

"Plenty," Sirius smirked at Remus, who seemed to send him a glare.

"How?"

"I am best mates with James, aren't I?"

Lily narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "From what I hear, you don't know a quaffle from a hinkypunk."

Sirius laughed knowingly. "Oh Evans, I'm sure you will enjoy my commentating immensely."

Lily shrugged and smiled a little. "Just try not to get into too much trouble. James'll be impossible if you end up in detention during our last weeks here."

"I promise not to get in too much trouble," he smirked at her. "But who knows what _other people_ will do." Remus hit him on the shoulder. He rubbed it and then raised his eyebrows at the solemn-faced boy.

"Well, whatever other people do will have nothing to do with anything you say. _Will it, Sirius?"_ Remus glared.

Sirius shook his head, though he was still grinning. "Definitely not. Unless, of course, Dorcas throws some sort of fit because I'm sitting in the announcer's booth and she's stuck with the rest of you lot."

He threw his arm over the girl next to him; smirking at her. She gave a half-smile.

"I'll still get to listen to all your witty comments, won't I?" she said flatly. Everyone could sense the sarcasm.

"Well yes," Sirius ignored the obvious poke and grinned. "I suppose you'll be alright then."

"So, are we going to win?" Dorcas changed the subject.

"Of course we are," Peter said from his place next to Lily. "James is captain isn't he?"

"Ravenclaw is pretty good this year," Remus shrugged. "I mean, the Arrows are recruiting Seymour and Bradley's always a threat."

"Cade Bradley is a prat," Sirius said; scowling. "We'll kick his arse just like last year." Dorcas elbowed him lightly in the side.

"Be that as it may," Remus rolled his eyes. "He does play good Quidditch. They'll have to work to get the quaffle past him, especially with someone taking Annabelle's place. Who is the replacement, by the way?"

"Eudora Thomas," Lily said. "4th year. James says she's pretty good. She might have beat out Lizzie Stimpson if she had tried out at the beginning of the year."

"Well," Sirius grinned. "If James says she's good, she must be good."

"Could you tell if she was good?" Lily eyed Sirius again.

He dropped his jaw in mock offense. "I will be a wonderful commentator, Lily Evans. My Quidditch knowledge will be sufficient for this."

She didn't say anything, but looked thoroughly unconvinced. Dorcas smiled at Sirius when she looked away. He poked her in the ribs.

"Come on Lily, let's go find some seats." Dorcas said when they reached the Quidditch pitch. "Good Luck Sirius."

"I am Sirius Black," he had called after them. "I do not need luck."

"You idiot," Remus said the minute the girls were out of ear-shot. "You almost gave it away."

"Come on Moony," Sirius rolled his eyes. "I was nowhere near giving it away."

"But now she's suspicious."

"Relax," he said. "Do you both remember the plan?"

Peter and Remus nodded.

"Have the ring, Moony?"

Remus patted his trouser pocket through his robes.

Sirius smiled. "Excellent."

"You remember what you're supposed to do, Wormtail?"

Peter looked a little nervous. "Um…I know I'm supposed to go to the loo when you say James is the 2nd best looking wizard at Hogwarts…and then…I..I?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and sighed. "I'll tell you one more time, Wormtail. And you HAVE to get this right."

Peter bit his lip and nodded. "I will, I promise."

"After you go to the loo, you transform and come back to…"

"Oh, I remember now," Peter said suddenly; grinning.

Sirius and Remus exchanged looks. "You're sure?" Remus asked.

Peter nodded enthusiastically; happy to be involved in a Marauders adventure again.

"Good," Sirius nodded. "Well, I've got to get up the booth. Good Luck Mates."

"Good Luck," they repeated as they began to walk after the girls.

Remus sighed. "They had better win this match."

* * *

James could not have agreed with Remus anymore. He felt unbelievably stupid at the moment. How on earth could he concentrate on playing Quidditch when he was going to ask Lily to marry him immediately after the match? Part of him wanted to go find Sirius and tell him to just forget the entire thing. He'd ask her some other time. Still, he couldn't think of a better way to do it. Plus, the match was going to start in about five minutes. But if this was going to go off right, Pauley had to catch the snitch. Otherwise the whole thing would be ruined. Well it wouldn't be ruined, per say, but it would be severely damaged. James wanted this to be as perfect as it possibly could be. He prayed that his braking charm would work, that the team would remember what he had asked them to do, and most of all that she would say yes.

"Ready?" Owen socked James lightly in the shoulder; grinning at him.

James swallowed hard and took a huge breath; nodding.

"You look a little green mate," Jason Norman said; a concerned tone in his voice.

Owen chuckled. "That's normal for a bloke who's about to propose to a bird."

Then Sirius' voice rang out. "Welcome to the 1978 Hogwarts Quidditch Cup Final. A match which will no doubt go down in history as the day when James Potter…"James froze. "led his Gryffindor team to greatness."

There was a pause.

"Professor McGonagall has just informed me that Ravenclaw will be playing too. Cade Bradley must be very depressed."

"BLACK!"

Lily had been on edge the entire match. She was always like that at James' Quidditch matches. It was a bit ridiculous, really. She supposed she cared so much because Quidditch meant so much to James. That's why she was so surprised when she noticed he wasn't playing nearly as well as he usually did. His flying was rather erratic and he had thrown two shots directly to Bradley.

"You should thank him Bradley," Sirius had said. "Those are the only quaffles you'll be catching anytime soon."

Immediately following the comments, there had been a muffled argument and Sirius had said.

"Excuse me, Mr. Bradley. You definitely catch quaffles better than I, but I keep other things…"

McGonagall ripped the microphone away from him.

Thankfully, Eudora Thomas was brilliant and helped make up for James' less-than-stellar performance. The score was tied 50-50 when Kevin Pauley, the Gryffindor's 5th year seeker, dove sharply toward the north edge of the pitch. Colin Quirke was right on his heels.

"They're off for the snitch," Sirius said. "COME ON PAULEY! The bugger's right on your tail…..I mean, Pauley and Quirke are both going for the snitch. Pauley is ahead. He's gonna get it. Pauley's going to get the Snitch…or maybe Quirke. Come on gents! PAULEY! YOU'RE A BLEEDING FOUR INCHES FROM THE THING! GRAB IT!...go Quirke."

Then Sirius let out a huge scream. "PAULEY'S GOT THE SNITCH! GRYFFINDOR WINS!"

Lily burst into a huge smile and began searching the pitch for James. Dorcas had gotten them seats right in the front and Lily could see the entire match perfectly, but she couldn't find James. Where had he run off to?

Suddenly she felt something brush past her leg. She looked down and saw a rat milling about by her left foot. She smiled and tapped it lightly with her foot.

"Remus," she whispered to the boy at her left; still looking at the rat. "What is Peter doing?"

"I'm standing right here, Lily."

Lily turned to her right and saw Peter standing directly next to her; smiling broadly. Shocked since Peter had gone to the loo ages ago and hadn't returned yet, Lily stood still until the rat ran over her foot again. She jumped and shook it off of her. Finally, it scurried off.

Looking curiously at Peter first, she turned back to the front to continue looking for James.

"Wait a tick," Sirius said; a mischievous note to his voice. "Did Pauley drop the snitch? What is that shiny bit over at the other end of the pitch? Right in front of the lovely Miss Lily Evans?"

The rest of the crowd leaned forward to look at what Sirius was talking about, for there was indeed a shiny object hovering in mid-air.

Lily gasped the minute she saw it. She knew immediately what was catching the light that way. It was a ring: an emerald ring floating in mid-air right in front of her. She held a hand to her mouth; for once in her life completely speechless. Then she heard a familiar voice from the announcer's booth.

"You're a bloody good seeker, Lily Evans. You snatched me and my heart the way Pauley just caught that snitch and won us the Quidditch Cup. But the Cup means absolutely nothing compared to you."

Lily looked up and saw James standing next to Sirius. He was too far away for her to read his expression, but she could tell from his voice that he was unbelievably nervous.

"You've been there for me through the past four months in a way I never thought anyone would. I can't imagine my life without you. You make me happier than any Quidditch game ever could. You have a passion for life and a kindness that never fails to amaze me. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life and the only one who can shrink my head when it's gotten too big. I love you Lily. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Suddenly the entire Gryffindor Quidditch team arose to Lily's eye level and together with ribbons spilling from their wands, they spelled out the words, "Lily Evans, Will you marry me?"

Lily couldn't stop the shocked grin that pulled her face when she saw those words. She wanted to hear James say them. But he was on the opposite end of the pitch. This was unacceptable.

"Sonorous," she muttered; pointing her wand at her throat. Then, in a very loud voice, "If you want to bloody propose, get yourself over here, Potter. Don't be a prat and do it from over there."

She saw him whisper something to Sirius, mount his broom, and speed over to her. The entire crowd was watching this scene intently, but Lily had no idea they were even there. She was staring at the huge grin on James' face as he flew towards her; her heart filling so much that she was sure it would explode right there all over Peter and Remus. She studied his thin face: the smiling hazel eyes, his black hair mussed to perfection from his recent Quidditch victory, the beautiful mouth that she loved so much. James stopped right in front of her; the ring sparkling above his left shoulder. They stared at each other, reading their eyes, for a few seconds and then muttered, "quietus."

"Sorry about that," he smiled.

She laughed. "I expected you'd do something like that."

He pursed his lips and then smirked; picking the ring out of the air and twirling it in his fingers.

"Always showing off Potter," she tisked; beaming at him as he turned his face to hers again. "Of course you would want everyone to watch this."

"I'm not that bad, am I, Evans?" he smiled back; his hazel eyes sparkling in a way Lily had seen only a few times before: Petunia and Vernon's wedding, the first time they made love. She felt her breathing quickening and smiled even wider.

"I don't know Potter," she joked. "I mean, I had to call you over here. You probably forgot you were proposing to me."

He shook his head; still completely engrossed in her. "I would never forget that Lily. I love you, you know."

She nodded. "Yeah, I know. I love you too."

"So…I have a question to ask you." He held the ring out in front of him.

"James, get off of your broom."

"Oh…" he blushed. "Right."

With her help, he climbed over into the bleachers and Peter moved aside so that James could pull in his broom and stand next to her. He took an obvious breath and she smiled; feeling her heart beat faster than ever as he got down on one knee; holding out the ring. She looked at the ring in his fingertips for a second and then back to his eager eyes.

"Lily Evans," he said softly; beaming up at her. "You are the most amazing woman I have ever met. You're beautiful. You're…"

"I already heard your speech James," she laughed. "Just ask me already."

He laughed nervously; biting a lip and nodding. "Alright then." He took another breath. "Lily, will you marry me?"

"Yes, Potter, I'll marry you," she smiled right into his eyes.

He exhaled and beamed back up at her as he slipped the ring on her finger. She watched his nimble fingers glide it on and almost immediately felt different.

"You'd better get used to that name," he said as he stood and wrapped his arms around her. "It's going to be yours."

"I suppose I can learn to live with it," she snaked her arms up to his neck and pulled him in for their first engaged kiss.

Suddenly the entire Quidditch pitch erupted in cheers. Sirius' voice was heard over everyone else. "Congratulations Prongs! Good Luck with him Evans. You're a crazy woman agreeing to marry him."

Peter clapped James on the back and shook his hand. Lily turned to hug Remus and Dorcas.

"Never thought it would happen mate," Remus smiled as he shook James' hand.

"None of us did," Dorcas gave James a hug.

After the congratulations, James and Lily came back together and embraced

tightly. They kissed again; melting into each other as deeply as possible and the crowd disappeared again.

"Why'd you have to ruin my plan?" he asked; grinning at her.

"I didn't ruin it," she smirked back. "I just altered it a bit."

James licked his top lip. "I suppose I'm going to have to get used to that."

"Aren't you already?"

He laughed and kissed her again.


	33. Chapter 33

The weeks following James and Lily's engagement were a whirlwind of end-of-the-year activities for the 7th years; studying for N.E.W.T.'s, more career planning, studying for N.E.W.T.'s, job interviews, studying for N.E.W.T's. Needless to say, when the exams were finally over three weeks after the Quidditch Final, everyone was more than ready for the annual Leaver's Ball. The end of school party exclusively for the 7th years and their guests was something the Hogwarts students had been looking forward to since they entered the castle as eleven year olds.

"How do I look?" Sirius spun on his heel to face Remus, Peter, and Owen. Remus was almost disgusted; the prat looked too damn perfect. His silky navy blue robes hung elegantly off of his tall frame and that hair fell easily into his eyes. Sirius was wearing a very cheeky smile. Remus looked down at his own shabby gray robes; feeling rather intimidated.

"You look good mate," Owen said; grinning at his own reflection.

Sirius looked rather pleased with himself and plopped down on his bed. "Phillipa Gettilfinger, huh Wormtail?"

Peter turned to Sirius and smiled. It had been quite an undertaking to find shy Peter a date for the Leaver's Ball, but the other three Marauders had made it their final mission at Hogwarts. The short, cheerful Ravenclaw had agreed to come with Peter after a week of buttering up from Sirius and James. He was ecstatic.

"Yeah," he said. "Thanks again, mate."

"Stop thanking me," Sirius turned back to mirror and smiled at his reflection. "It's bloody annoying."

"I'm meeting her in the Great Hall, right?" Peter asked.

"For the fourth time, Peter…" Remus rolled his eyes.

He looked down at his shoes. "I'm just…well…I'm nervous."

"Don't worry," Sirius drawled. "It's not like she's going to want to shag you. Are we ready?"

Remus took one last look in the mirror and smoothed out his robes. "Yeah," he said. "Let's go."

The boys exited the dormitory and walked down the stairs to the common room. As they had expected, the girls were still upstairs. They sat for awhile; twiddling their thumbs and watching the other Gryffindors come and go.

Finally, Annabelle came down. She smiled at Owen, who seemed in awe of his light blue clad wife. They kissed.

"You look beautiful," he smiled.

"Thank you," she smiled back. "Shall we go then?"

He nodded. "See you lot later."

Remus, Sirius, and Peter nodded. "Are they coming anytime tonight?" Sirius asked; jerking his head to the dormitories.

She smiled and nodded; laughing a little at their impatience. "They'll be down in a few minutes, I expect."

Annabelle had an interesting view of time. To the boys, it felt like hours before Dorcas and Gwen descended the stairs: Dorcas wearing deep scarlet and Gwen in bubble-gum pink. Remus immediately stood and smiled at his date while Sirius remained in his seat; an amused grin on his face. Dorcas raised her dark eyebrows at him. Her dark hair was pulled up elegantly off of her neck; twisted into a chignon with a deep side part. The style highlighted her high cheekbones, striking features, and long neck; giving her an aristocratic air. She seemed to float down the stairs. Next to her, Gwen's steps were heavy and excited; a huge grin splayed across her sweet face and excited blue eyes gleaming. She wore her long golden hair down and it bounced along with her lithe figure.

"Remus," she squealed as she bounded to him from the stairs. "You look nice."

"Not nearly as good as you," he chuckled; hugging her amicably.

Dorcas walked over to where Sirius was still sitting on the sofa; their eyes locked the entire time. "Not going to stand up for me, are you?" she asked.

He shrugged. "I felt my present position was ideal for watching you descend the stairs."

She cocked her head to the side; contemplating this answer. He stood; raising his eyebrows at her. When he was at his full height, he kissed her. "You do look absolutely brilliant."

She smiled with her mouth closed. "You look rather dashing yourself."

"I always look dashing," he shot her a knee-weakening smile and brushed a piece of hair from his eyes.

"I may be feeding your ego a bit too much," she smirked.

"Perhaps," he shrugged and then offered her his arm. "Shall we?"

She slid her arm through his and nodded; the smirk still on her face.

"Moony," Sirius called. "Shall we go?"

Remus smiled and offered Gwen his arm. She smiled, curtseyed, and took his arm in the most over-the-top impression of an aristocrat as possible. Remus laughed. "Yeah, Padfoot. Let's go, Wormtail."

The five climbed out of the portrait hole and made their way down to the Great Hall. Peter kept rubbing his hands together in his utter terror at meeting Phillipa. When they reached the Entrance Hall, she was already there; wearing a shade of sage green, her light brown hair in some elaborate creation.

"Phillipa," Peter nodded, swallowing. He fumbled with his hands for a second.

"Hello Peter," she said.

"You look nice," he said to his shoes.

"Offer her your arm, prat," Sirius said; passing behind Peter.

"Oh right," Peter swallowed again and put out his arm.

Phillipa took it; glaring at Sirius.

"Oy," James shouted as he entered the hall with Lily on his arm. She was wearing shimmering lilac robes and James was in black ones made of a very expensive-looking fabric. The large emerald Lily wore on her left hand gleamed brightly in the candle-lit room.

"Oh Prongs," Sirius whistled. "You're engaged now. Stop trying to catch all the birds."

James rolled his eyes. "I do have to keep up with this gorgeous creature," he smiled at Lily. She smiled back at her fiancée.

"You look beautiful, Lily" Gwen smiled at her former roommate. The purple color played off of her pale skin and wavy red hair. Her green eyes were bright from the excitement of it all and she had a seemingly-permanent smile.

"Thank you Gwen," she said to the girl in pink. "You look beautiful yourself. And Dorcas, you look wonderful too. I love your hair up like that."

Dorcas smiled. "Thank you. It was Gwen's idea."

Gwen shrugged as Dorcas looked over at her.

"Okay," Sirius rolled his eyes. "We can discuss how Remus helped me with my hair later, but now, the ball awaits."

"Lead the way," Gwen gestured.

He nodded and Dorcas took his arm again. When they entered the Great Hall, they both looked around the room excitedly. The place was amazing. It was dominated with a huge tapestry of the Hogwarts shield hanging at the front and was lit by massive candle-filled chandeliers scattered throughout the room. The Hogwarts staff sat at the high table under the tapestry; all in rather more formal attire than the students were used top seeing them in. Silk tablecloths in the different houses' colors covered circular tables near the entrance. Several students were sitting at them; waiting for dinner. Afterwards, Desdemona and her Dugbogs would take the stage that had been constructed on the far end of the room and the dancing would begin. A huge hardwood dance floor was in front of the stage.

"Wow," Dorcas breathed.

"I know," Remus answered.

"Merlin," Peter exhaled.

"It's beautiful," Lily said.

"Ready for dancing, mate?" James poked Sirius in the back.

"Of course," Sirius smirked at Dorcas. "Dancing is another one of my many talents."

"Another one?" she raised her eyebrows

"Let's go get a table," Gwen suggested. They walked to the cluster of tables and found an empty one next to a group of Hufflepuffs. Baxter Stebbins waved at them with Wendy Smyth smiling at his side. They all waved back.

"You think he got the N.E.W.T.'s for Auror training?" Gwen muttered.

Remus smiled slightly. "He looked rather nervous after his Charms practical. I don't know."

Suddenly Professor Dumbledore stood. All of the 7th years turned to face him.

"I would like to welcome all of you to your Leaver's Ball. You have all made it through seven years of education and will soon be turned out on the world as fully qualified wizards. The entire staff and I are immensely proud of you all. Although I could give you advice on entering the real world tonight, I will save my warnings and fears until the end-of-the-year feast. Tonight is for your enjoyment. So without further adieu, let the feasting begin."

A few minutes later they had all ordered their food and were chatting happily. Lily had a tendency to stare at the ring on her finger when she thought no one was looking. Gwen called her out on it more than once.

Soon, the band had taken their place on stage and music filled the Great Hall.

"Fancy a spin around the room?" Sirius leaned towards Dorcas.

She smiled and nodded; taking his hand as he led her to the dance floor.

For once, Sirius was not lying about possessing a talent he didn't actually have. He was a phenomenal dancer and steered Dorcas around the floor so elegantly that the other dancers stopped to look.

Dorcas must have looked confused because he put his lips to her ear and whispered. "My mother made me take classes. It's the only thing that rubbed off on me."

She smiled and let him take her away. He dipped her at one point and leaned down over her so far she was convinced he was going to fall on top of her. Instead, he kissed her and then pulled her up laughing.

"And Lily calls me a show-off," James smirked as he and Lily passed Sirius and Dorcas.

"Your dancing is not something you should show off Prongs," Sirius shrugged back.

James, somewhat violently, spun Lily away from him and back.

"Calm down James," she said; looking somewhat exhausted. She smiled at Dorcas as he steered her towards the other side of the floor.

"Feeling lucky," Sirius smirked.

Dorcas smiled in to his eyes. "I always do."

Sirius smiled and pulled her in closer to him as a faster song began.

* * *

"We'll keep in touch after school ends, won't we?" Remus asked Gwen. They had been sitting and talking at their table most of the night since neither were huge fans of dancing. It was a better place to mock couples from anyway.

"Of course we will," she smiled. "Thought you could get rid of me that easily, did you?"

"Good," he smiled back.

"It's strange to think that we won't be coming back next year," Gwen said.

"It is," Remus nodded. "I can't imagine living somewhere else."

"Me neither," she glanced around the room. "And I still have no idea what I'm going to do once we're out of here." She looked up at him. "Isn't that scary?"

He smiled. "I don't either Gwen."

"But you've got good marks, Remus," she shrugged. "I'll bet you could do anything you wanted to."

Remus exhaled and looked out the window. "You'd be surprised."

"Here," she conjured a quill and a piece of parchment. "This is where I'll be this summer. It's in Italy. You should come visit."

She handed him the piece of parchment and he smiled. "Alright," he said; stuffing it into his pocket.

"So, have you seen Moira O'Neill lately? 10 galleons says she's pregnant."

Remus laughed; following Gwen's big blue eyes with his own. She looked at his big golden ones and they smiled at each other.

* * *

After the ball that night, Sirius and Dorcas were walking over the grounds; their hands intertwined. Both had changed from their formal attire into more comfortable clothing and Dorcas' hair was down; tangling around her shoulders. They stopped near the greenhouses and Sirius pulled her in for a furious kiss.

"If you want to do that, we should probably go somewhere else," she laughed. "Besides, we already have. Three times. Maybe we should take a little break."

He pouted and she smiled; kissing his bottom lip one more time.

"That's all you get for now."

"Dorcas…"

"No Sirius, I'm cutting you off."

He pouted again and she shook her head. Accepting his fate, Sirius shrugged and sat down on the grass. Dorcas sat down next to him.

"So what are you going to do next year?" Sirius asked.

"My parents got me that internship at the Ministry, remember?"

"Right," he nodded.

"Sirius," she took a deep breath. "We really need to talk about what things are going to be like once school is over."

"What do you mean?" he turned to face her.

"I mean, what is going to happen to…" she struggled for the words. "What's going to happen with us?"

Sirius was shocked. He sat there dumbfounded; staring at her. Why did they need to talk about that?

She put her hand to her forehead. "We have to figure out how we're going to keep seeing each other. Things are going to be different," she looked at him and her jaw dropped in desperation. "We won't be able to see each other every night. We're going to have to figure this out."

Sirius frowned and looked down at that hand that was propping him up. She was right. They wouldn't see each other nearly as often with him working at WWN and her at the Ministry doing slave labor. They were silent for a long progression of minutes and the cool night breeze caused Dorcas to wrap her arms around her knees. She looked up at the stars in the black sky, concentrating on Cassiopeia; the wrinkle between her eyebrows. Unconsciously, Sirius sat up and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She let her head fall to his shoulder and sighed. Sirius screwed up his face in thought.

Suddenly he got a brilliant idea.

"Let's get married," he said out of nowhere.

Dorcas' eyes grew to twice their normal size as she ducked out of his shoulders and turned to face him straight on. "Wha..What? Are you serious?"

Sirius smiled. "Well, actually…"

"Don't joke about this," she looked angry, as she moved further from him. "We can't get married."

"Why not?" he was confused. Isn't this what a bird wanted? "James and Lily are doing it."

"We aren't James and Lily," she shot. "There is no way…"

"Dorcas," he said. "Come on. It's a good idea…"

"No it's not," she stood, suddenly not looking at him. "We can't just do what James and Lily do so you can keep up. You would make a terrible husband."

Sirius felt his heart drop straight into his stomach and fury filled his entire body. "And you would make such a wonderful wife?" he spat sarcastically.

"No, I wouldn't" she was shaking as she paced back and forth. "This is the worst idea you have ever had. _Ever. _Including trying to get Snape killed by Remus."

He shot up; anger and confusion filled his eyes. "You know?"

She nodded quickly; looking him full in the eye.

"But how?"

"Remus finally told me," she said. "He told me everything. I was so confused about what Peter was doing during the Quidditch final that he just told me. Right there. And that's another reason we can't get married. You won't even tell me that you're an animagus? You can't keep secrets from the person you're married to, Sirius."

"You can't abandon them either, Dorcas," he bellowed in her face, grabbing her by the shoulders.

She exhaled and pulled herself up as tall as possible and looked away for a second, shaking him off. She turned back with her chin high in the air. "You do realize, Sirius, that you've never told me how you feel about me."

Sirius screwed up his face in complete confusion, his arms betraying his uncertainty. "What the bloody hell are you talking about?"

Her nostrils flared. "See," she made a dismissive gesture with her hand.

"Dorcas," he yelled back at her, eyes flashing. "I have no idea what you are blathering on about."

She swallowed hard and her teeth were on edge; her shoulders thrown back painfully. "How could I marry a man who can't even tell me that he loves me?"

Sirius froze; completely terrified. "I…What?"

"You have never said "I love you"," she said quietly. The wrinkle in between her eyebrows deepened.

"Neither have you," he said, shrugging. "Why does that matter?"

She looked as if she was about to cry and turned from him again. "The fact that you have to ask that question further proves that getting married would be a complete disaster."

"Fine," he said, throwing up his hands and scoffing. "I love you. There, I said it. Will you marry me now?"

"No," she shook her head and looked back at him. The tears were starting to push through. "That's not good enough."

Sirius gritted his teeth, challenging those stubborn, tear-filled dark eyes. "Well apparently nothing is good enough for you," he yelled.

"You have to see that this is a terrible idea."

"You know what's a terrible idea," he scowled, yelling in her face. "The idea that I wanted to marry you in the first place. Or that I spent so much of the last year with you. Get out of my sight Dorcas, before I have another terrible idea."

"Siri…" she was pleading, her hand found its way to his.

"GO!" he bellowed, pushing her off. In shock she took a few steps back and then looked up at him. Seeing the coldness and anger in the gray orbs she knew so well, Dorcas clasped a hand to her mouth and then took off running back to the castle.

Sirius didn't watch her, but was unnaturally aware of the violent crunch of the grass under her as she ran and the bite of the night breeze. When he couldn't hear the grass anymore, he screamed, walked over to the greenhouse door and punched the wooden post between the glass panes. Immediately, he regretted it. He regretted the entire thing.


	34. Chapter 34

So that was it. Sirius and Dorcas were over. Sirius kept telling himself that he should be happy; that now he could shag as many girls as he wanted with no consequences. Still, it was a horrible way to end his career at Hogwarts. He spent the last few days of term with James, Lily, and Peter; occasionally joined by Remus who sometimes brought Gwen. They walked about the grounds a lot; reminiscing about what had happened in each particular spot. They had spent almost an hour remembering things that had happened under the beech tree by the lake. James and Lily had laughed heartily over their legendary show-down over Snape at the end of 5th year. It seemed very silly now that they were engaged. They entered the Shrieking Shack all as humans; trying to imprint the place on their memories forever. Everyone mourned the loss of the Marauder's Map, but James had wisely said that some future mischief makers would probably nick it from Filch's office and put it to much better use than it would have gone to at any of their hands. James even spent the last few nights of term in his old dormitory with the other Marauders.

The evening before the last day of term, Dumbledore called all five of them into his office. They all sat rather nostalgically in the headmaster's office with the knowledge that it would be the last time they would have a lecture from the teacher.

"I'm glad you've all come," he smiled with his blue eyes twinkling. "In the excitement of the end of your career at Hogwarts, I feared you might ignore my note."

"Never Sir," Lily said.

"Well Miss Evans," he said, nodding. "I'm glad to see I was wrong. The reason I have called the five of you in today is because I want to extend an offer to you."

Lily and James were sitting next to each other; his arm thrown somewhat protectively over her chair. She was sitting completely erect; listening intently to Dumbledore's words. Sirius was leaning forward; his chin held up by an arm resting on his knee. He wore the angry scowl he had sporting since the Leaver's Ball. Remus had his hands on his knees and his head tilted to the side in interest. Peter was slouching in his chair; looking around at his friends expectantly.

"James, Sirius, I expect you remember the group of people I told you about that unfortunate night last year?"

The two friends exchanged glances and nodded.

"You'll forgive me if I explain it in more detail?"

"Of course sir," James shrugged.

"Alright," he nodded and sat behind his desk; his glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose. "About three years ago, when the threat of Lord Voldemort became glaringly legitimate, my good friend Alastor Moody and I decided that the Ministry's efforts would not be sufficient in dealing with the problem. We, therefore, decided to put together a group of the most talented and dedicated witches and wizards to bolster up the defense. We called it the Order of the Phoenix. At the moment we have ten members; including a few people you will remember from previous years at Hogwarts: the Longbottoms, Caradoc Dearborn, the Prewett brothers, and Emmeline Vance. I would like to ask all of you to join the Order."

"Yes," James said without hesitation.

"Without a doubt," Lily affirmed her fiancée's answer.

"You are aware of the huge risk being part of this organization will put you in. You will be fighting death eaters face to face or you may be asked to do undercover work. The likelihood of being hurt or killed is very high. I would understand if you chose not to join."

"But we'll be fighting him, won't we?" Lily said. "It doesn't matter if we're hurt."

"That answer is exactly the reason I asked the five of you to join."

"I say yes," Sirius nodded. The idea excited him and momentarily pulled him from his depression. "I can't think of anything I'd rather do than fight that bastard and his pure-blood tosser lackeys."

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows at Sirius' answer, but in the end looked pleased. "Mr. Lupin, the order could especially use your help because of your ability to communicate with certain groups of wizards that may be loyal to Lord Voldemort."

Remus was silent for a second; obviously pondering the idea. He looked a little nervous. In the end, he nodded, "I'd be happy to help."

Peter looked terrified. He was biting his lip so tightly it looked as though he might draw blood. His eyes darted from James to Sirius to Remus. He swallowed hard and finally managed an "alright."

Dumbledore smiled at them all. "Well, I'm very glad to see you all are willing to take the risk. You will all be a tremendous asset to the Order of the Phoenix. I also think I must say that I will enjoy seeing the five of you after you leave school. And by the way, Congratulations James and Lily. I was very happy to hear about your engagement. I am sure you will both be very happy."

"If I'd known this was going to happen a year ago…" James smiled at Lily and she smiled back.

Remus swore he saw a knowing twinkle in Dumbledore's eye; like he had known this was going to happen a year ago.

* * *

The end-of-the-year feast was a rather emotional affair for the 7th year Gryffindors. Lily actually teared up a few times during Dumbledore's speech.

"In this time of darkness," he had said. "It gives me the greatest hope to see that our future generations possess goodness and talent. I have often been asked why I, a somewhat respected wizard, continue to teach children. I ask these other respected wizards why they would not jump at the chance. You all remind the world that happiness is possible, that peace can exist, and that the future of the wizarding world is not so bleak as some believe. As you 7th years enter the world as adults, I am filled with an even greater hope. I see a group of talented sorcerers willing to do what is right despite the hardships they will face. Your contribution to our society is more necessary than ever. Congratulations."

As a final farewell, the Marauders had planned one last prank. The minute Dumbledore sat down, James looked around at his friends; a slight grin on his bittersweet face.

"Ready?"

They all nodded with similar expressions on their faces and flicked their wands. Immediately the Great Hall was in uproar; firecrackers, confetti, and food that had been caught in the way of the powerful pyrotechnics filled the air. Students screamed, dove under tables, and cursed the Marauders loudly. Teachers pulled their wands out and began putting out the small fires that had been started all over the hall. Dumbledore, however, sat back in his chair and watched the colored sparks as if he were attending a fireworks show. As the fireworks continued, the Marauders sat still; laughing and smiling about their prank for the last time. Even Lily laughed; her melancholy face breaking into a grin.

When it seemed the explosions were over, there was suddenly a huge KABOOM from between the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables. Purple, blue, red, and gold sparks filled the entire room before they settled together and spelled out a message.

_Messers Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs_

_Would like to express their undying gratitude towards Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for the most brilliant 7 years._

_We would also like to offer our condolences to all those who will miss our presence here next term, especially the incomparable Professor Minerva McGonagall. Do not fret dear Professor, we are confident that there will be those who will offer you the pleasure that we once did; though we will always be the legend and they merely the copy-cats._

_To our fellow students, enjoy your years at Hogwarts and remember: Draco dormiens nunquam titallandus. Never tickle a sleeping dragon. Or for that matter, a sleeping caretaker. Farewell._

The sparks faded and then disappeared.

"So that's it," Remus sighed.

"It's over," Peter looked as though he might cry.

James patted him on the back. "It'll be alright Wormtail, we've got other adventures to look forward to now."

He glanced at Lily; a bit of apprehension in his eyes. Or was it fear? She exhaled and took his free hand; smiling and squeezing it tightly.

Sirius was looking blankly at the plate in front of him.

"Alright, Sirius?" Remus asked.

Sirius shrugged. "This place just has so many memories for me. I mean, this has always been my real home, where I really belonged."

"Me too," Lily offered; smiling at him from across the table. "But now we get to go make our own homes. Isn't that exciting?"

She looked at James softly; then immediately clapped a hand to her mouth.

"Oh Sirius," she gasped. "That's not what I meant. I didn't mean…"

Sirius' shoulders had clenched and his eyes had shut closed. "It's alright Lily,"

"I'm so sorry," she pleaded. "I didn't mean to bring Dorcas up…"

"Then why are you still talking about her?" he snapped; flashing his eyes at her.

She sat back and looked at her hand. "Sorry," she muttered.

Sirius sighed; shrinking in his chair and looking to the side. "Me too," he said quietly.

"You had every right," she said; looking back at him with concern. James put his now free arm around her and Sirius propped his chin up with his hand Looking up, he caught a glimpse of Dorcas; sitting at the end of the table with Annabelle and Owen. She looked about as miserable as he felt; that damn wrinkle visible even from the opposite side of the table. Suddenly, she seemed aware of someone's eyes on her and turned towards Sirius' glance. He looked away before they locked eyes; but he was sure she had caught him looking at her.

* * *

As the Hogwarts Express pulled out of the station the next day; all six people in the compartment had leaned to watch the castle disappear from view.

"So that's it then," Gwen finally said; leaning back in her seat next to Remus. "We're done."

"I guess we are," Lily sighed; glancing at her feet. "Merlin."

"Quick seven years," Remus muttered; pursing his lips slightly.

"The quickest," Sirius frowned; still staring out of the window as if he expected Hogwarts to suddenly reappear.

"The best," James smiled at everyone.

Suddenly Peter began to weep big, heavy, wet, messy sobs.

"Aw come off it, Wormtail," James clapped him on the back. "It's not like we won't ever see each other again, you know."

"I know," he said in broken syllables. "But…but…I'll just miss it there."

"Shut it Wormtail," Sirius growled. "You think we're all so eager to leave? You're acting like a woman."

"Come of it, mate," James gestured at his best friend. "Let the bloke cry if he wants."

"And watch your mouth," Lily snapped; offended.

Sirius turned his body to face the window even more.

"Do you remember how we all met on the train?" Remus suddenly said. A smile grew as he spoke. "How James was so eager to meet everyone that he burst into my compartment and wouldn't leave until I put my book down and talked to him. Then Sirius here wandered in after his mental cousin went off to snog her boyfriend."

"Yeah," James smiled; lightly kicking Sirius. "You did a wicked imitation of Bellatrix and Rodolphus too."

"And Peter got lost on his way back to his other compartment," Sirius said under his breath.

The entire compartment, including a still-sobbing Peter and Sirius, whose scowl melted a little, burst into laughter.

"Thanks mates," Remus said; shrugging sheepishly. "For the past seven years. You all stumbling into that compartment was the best thing that ever happened to me."

Sirius softened and looked at the friend sitting next to him. He put a hand on his shoulder. "Me too, Moony."

Peter was sobbing even harder.

"For Merlin's sake…"


	35. Chapter 35

A month after returning from Hogwarts for the last time, Sirius moved into a flat in Diagon Alley. He had purchased it with an inheritance from his Uncle Alphard, who had died four months earlier. It was exactly the way it had when he bought it those months ago; sitting there unfurnished at the far end of the street between a junk shop and a rather chatty elderly florist's shop.

"Makes you feel like an adult, doesn't it?" Remus chuckled; flicking his wand and sending boxes neatly up the stairs.

Sirius didn't say anything. He just nodded and started helping with the boxes. Remus, who hadn't been able find a landlord willing to take in a werewolf, would be rooming with Sirius for awhile. James, who was still living at his childhood home for the time being, had offered Remus space there. However, as much as Remus adored James and Lily, he really didn't want to be living with a newly-engaged couple. James had protested; Lily did have her own flat in London and was beginning Healer training in a week. Still, Remus knew that Lily's flat would probably be empty most nights. He wondered why she had leased it in the first place.

The two friends climbed the stairs following their boxes and Sirius muttered the password. The flat was very simple; a living room, a bedroom, a kitchen, and a loo. It was the kind of basic room that Sirius was not used to. He'd spent all of his life living a life of wealth. He'd spent his early childhood in the Black family home; a huge, drafty, and dank monstrosity that never-the-less contained only the best of everything and an army of house elves. After that he'd lived in the splendor of Hogwarts and its four-poster, thick-quilted beds. His breaks had been spent at the Potter's massive estate in Godric's Hollow complete with huge lawn and three separate gardens. This barely four-roomed place seemed claustrophobic to him. Sharing it with Remus would make it even worse. Plus, his cooking was awful.

Remus was rather more comfortable in the place. It was basic, yes, but clean and there was a good amount of that dull British sunlight flowing in. He was not quite as accustomed to luxury as his friend; growing up in a modest home with a muggle mother and a father working a low-paying job at the ministry.

Sirius took a big breath as he looked around the place. It took about ten seconds, but his eyes lingered on a spot next to the large window flooded with soft light. He could perfectly picture Dorcas sitting there on the floor; spreading papers out all around her, turning to smirk at him. Sirius shook his head hard to get her out of his head. He had to stop thinking about her. He couldn't wait until he and James started up at the station next week.

* * *

"What's with all the muggles?" Sirius asked when he met James in Hartfield Road in Wimbledon.

James shrugged. "Mum says it's always like this in July."

A man about James' height with a mop of thick curly hair and wearing awfully short white shorts suddenly exited a bar screaming something about a broken racquet and stupid line calls. He was obviously American. James and Sirius watched as the volatile young man stormed off, yelling, "You can't be serious!"

"They get crazier all the time," Sirius muttered.

James laughed. "Come on, its right over here."

They passed the Prince of Wales Pub and a few shops, basking in the humid warmth of the summer.

Sirius leaned towards James conspiratorially, "So, what do you think? Do you think we can wrangle up more members?"

"I hope so," James whispered; looking around. "It seems rather impossible for just the fifteen of us to do much, really."

The two friends were referring to their first Order of the Phoenix meeting two weeks earlier. The fledgling group consisted mainly of Dumbledore's prized students from previous years and a few Aurors brought in by Moody. Their goal right now was simply to garner more members.

In between a second hand bookshop and some sort of club, James ducked down an alleyway. Sirius followed him and soon they reached a sort of large rectangular trash bin.

"Help me," James said, as he began to push the bin. Sirius helped him by pulling. When they had moved it far enough, James leaned down and tapped the ground twice with his wand. A trap door suddenly appeared. He kicked it down; revealing a set of stairs. Then he motioned for Sirius to follow. They descended the staircase and Sirius noticed that portraits of the stars of the network lined the walls. Aphrodite Jones, Welby Fenton, Desdemona and her Dugbogs, and the Megini twins smiled back at him.

"This is wicked," Sirius muttered. "We get to tell these people what to do."

"It's not quite that simple," James glanced warily at Medea Williams' scowl as they stepped off the stairs into a reception area.

A smiling witch with curled blonde hair and long, manicured nails sat at a desk. "Welcome, Mr. Potter," she said. "I suppose this is Mr. Black."

James nodded; exchanging excited glances with Sirius as she called them both Mr. "Yes, Kendra. This is Sirius Black."

"Nice to meet you," she smiled at him.

"You too," Sirius nodded. He couldn't help a quick glance at her chest, but immediately after checking her out he felt sick to his stomach.

"Mr. Sherman is waiting to see the two of you," she gestured to a door behind her. "Forth door on the right. Go on in."

"Thank you Kendra," James said.

Sirius nodded again.

They entered a long corridor with frosted glass doors on either side. In one room, a black-haired witch with a face for the radio was singing croakily for a skeptical-looking man in a pair of leather trousers. A red light was blinking on the side of another. Ulric Sherman's office was marked by the gold letters spelled out over the frosted glass.

"Head of Magical Programming," Sirius read.

"Come on," James muttered; pushing open the door. They met another witch at a desk; this one older and named Rhonda. She told them to go straight in. Another door, this one solid, led to a large office covered in old photographs of former Wizarding Wireless stars. Almost all of them contained lengthy dedications and showy signatures. The man who had just turned off a sort of intercom was in a few of the pictures. Ulrich Sherman had the look of a man who, though rather old, was still young at heart. His gray hair was cropped close to his head and he wore small circular spectacles and a garish yellow jacket. In his ear was the flash of an earring. He smiled as the two entered; revealing a large gap between his two front teeth.

"James," he stood and shook his hand. "Congratulations on the engagement. Getting a job and getting married in the same year? What a responsible bloke you've turned out to be."

James smiled. "Well, I'm not sure about that, Sherman. This is Sirius Black."

Sherman took Sirius' hand and shook it hard. "Nice to meet you. Glad to see you made it through that gaggle of muggles. It's worse every year."

Sirius smiled. "Nice to meet you, Sir."

Sherman laughed out loud; his eyes creasing. "Don't call me Sir, you're my boss now, aren't you?"

Sirius shrugged. "I guess I am."

"Right," Sherman clapped a hand on Sirius' shoulder, still chuckling. "So, shall I show you around then?"

James and Sirius both nodded furiously.

"Alright then," he said, "Come along." He chuckled, "sir…honestly…"

They entered the corridor and Sherman led them back to the door with the red light.

"This is the production booth," he said. "Looks like the Megini Twins are in the middle of a song. The two technicians there are Yvonne and Evander, they run most of the sessions. Sometimes Dowling comes in, but that's rare. Basically the shows go on in there and the technicians send the music through to the switchboards."

"The switchboards?" Sirius asked.

"Right there," he pointed across the hall to a long room visible through a glass window. A long line of witches and wizards were sitting at desks each with their own lightbulb. They flicked their wands each time a light went on or off. "They send the feed to the wireless receivers. When the light goes off, they pull it."

"Rather dull job," James said.

"Unbelievably dull, we're working on a different technique at the moment" Sherman nodded. He pointed to the door where the witch had been auditioning earlier. "That's Patrick Hayes' office. He handles auditions and new talent. Of course, you get to make the final decisions now."

Sirius and James grinned at each other.

"Your offices are at the end of the hall. I'm sure Paula and Dione are waiting to meet you."

"Paula and Dione?" Sirius asked.

Sherman winked. "Secretaries. Pretty ones too. Of course," he clapped a hand on James' shoulder. "Potter here will have to abstain."

James looked a bit embarrassed at Sherman's suggestion and Sirius smirked weakly

"You are free, aren't you Black?" Sherman elbowed him lightly.

Sirius glowered a little, but nodded.

"Well," he smirked again. "Go to it then. There are reports and recordings for you to review."

They both sighed; a little overwhelmed by their new positions.

"We own this," Sirius said; a smile creeping over his face.

James smiled. "I know. Wicked, isn't it?"

* * *

Gwen was staying in a small village just north of Siena, Italy with the rest of her family. They had rented a large villa in the country; large enough to hold eight people rather comfortably. Remus had arrived mid-morning by floo powder. He was not nearly advanced enough to attempt apparating all the way from London. When he had arrived the heat had hit him hard. Gwen was waiting for him in a wooden chair; lounging in a lime green bikini and a pair of blue shorts.

"Hot enough for you," she laughed.

Remus stepped out of the fire and immediately began fanning himself with his hand furiously. "It's not England."

Gwen stood and embraced her friend. Remus was oddly aware of her lack of clothing as his bare arms wrapped around her freshly-tanned back.

"It's good to see you," she said; releasing him. "Why don't you go change?" She motioned to a pair of double doors leading into another room. "I thought we could go swimming."

Remus instinctively crossed his arms across his chest. "Swimming?"

"Yeah," she nodded enthusiastically. "There's a gorgeous pool out there." She gestured to the wall on her left. It was covered with windows through which the bright Italian sunlight was streaming. Remus had wondered why it was so bright in this dark blue room. The blue-green water of a swimming pool was visible just beyond the yellowed stucco patio and its columns dripping with the brilliant pink of bougainvillea. Terra cotta pots filled with red begonias surrounded the water. Beyond it, the sun-scorched Tuscan hills sloped gently downward into a dark green grove of olive trees.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" she smirked at Remus' eyes.

He turned back to her, arms still crossed, and nodded smally. "Why don't you go Gwen? I don't really like swimming much. I'll go sit out there with you."

She frowned slightly. "Come on Remus, it'll be fun. Plus, it's far too hot to just sit out there in the sun."

Remus squirmed; trying to find a way out of this situation. Finally, he said. "Give me a second. I'll meet you out there."

Gwen seemed rather pleased at this answer and nodded; smiling. "Alright, but hurry up."

He watched as she ran to the double glass doors leading to the patio, flung them open and sprinted to the pool. She wriggled out of her shorts and dove head first into the pool. She threw her head back as she emerged from the water; the slick golden curtain of her hair catching the intense Italian sun and almost blinding him. She turned to face the house.

"Hurry up," she yelled; smiling.

A lopsided grin covered his face and he walked into a small bedroom just off the main room. He took a huge breath. What was he going to do? Nervously, Remus changed into the blue swim trunks he had conjured; looking down at his rather pale British legs. It wasn't the color he focused on, however. It was the angry red and pink scars that crisscrossed across his shins and his knees. Even more reticently, he pulled his tee-shirt off. The minute he caught a glimpse of the countless scratch marks permanently etched in the surface of his skin, he pulled it back on. He seriously considered pulling his trousers back on before he went back out to the pool. But if it was this hot in the house, he couldn't imagine how hot it was outside. He took a series of huge breaths, sitting on the bed and wringing his hands in deep thought. She would ask about the scars. He wanted to tell her. He really did; but who knew how she would react.

Feeling as though he might vomit from the nervousness, Remus exited the room and passed through the double doors; shielding his eyes from the bright sunshine. Gwen saw him coming and popped out from under the water to watch him.

"Get in," she screamed. She was literally glowing under the sun. Remus walked very slowly towards the pool. He was still too far away for her to see the scars on his legs. Quickly, before she could see them clearly, he sat down and submerged his legs in the cool water. The contrasting temperatures on his body felt divine. He sat stiffly by the edge of the water as she did the breaststroke towards him; grinning the whole way.

"Remus," she laughed; standing up in the shallow end; the water reaching her waist. "Get all the way in."

He shook his head. "I'm alright here."

"Don't be daft," her voice danced along with the ripples in the pool. "It's amazing in here."

"I'm fine Gwen," he crossed his arms again. "Really, I'm good."

"Get in the pool, Remus," she said insistently; cocking her head. The smile was still plastered on her face.

"Swim," he said, motioning with a hand to the other end of the pool. "We can talk with you in there and me out here. It's fine."

Gwen obviously didn't think it was fine because when Remus stuck his arm out, she reached up and grabbed it; yanking it hard and pulling him into the pool next to her.

He immediately scrambled to the edge of the pool; trying to pull himself out.

She laughed. "What are you doing? Are you allergic to water?" She grabbed his upper arm; preventing him from exiting the pool. "Come on Remus, take off your shirt and swim with me."

He stood still; his body tightly clenched. She obviously felt the tension because she let go of his arm. He didn't climb out of the pool, but instead stood completely still

"Are you embarrassed?" she finally asked; her voice losing a bit of the laughter and dropping in pitch. "Remus, its fine. I'm sure. Look at me," she spread out her arms and looked down at her boyish figure. "I look like a 12-year-old boy."

He laughed slightly. "No you don't," he said; turning back to her.

"Come on Remus," she pleaded. "I promise you'll thank me later."

Remus swallowed hard. "You won't ask about it?"

She looked a little confused, but shook her head. "No."

Remus took another deep breath and very slowly pulled his somewhat wet tee-shirt off. Gwen's blue eyes drifted down to his injured chest and flickered with concern briefly. But a second afterwards, she looked back up to Remus and smiled broadly.

"Come on," she said cheekily. "I'll race you to the other end."


	36. Chapter 36

Remus and Gwen spent the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon swimming. It took Remus all of twenty seconds to feel comfortable with his bare scarred chest bared to Gwen. When, in the playfulness of it all, he had picked her up and thrown her across the pool, she had mentioned in a silly voice that his scars made him look manly. Then she teased him about being a he-man who needed to prove his strength by beating up on women. They both laughed heartily at the absurd idea before he swam over to her and apologized profusely.

That evening Gwen had slipped her shorts back on and Remus had pulled his tee-shirt over his head and they walked down to the village; snacking on thin-crusted pizza margherita and melon gelato. Gwen attempted to convince the gelato vendor that she was Hazel Chinowyth, the famous wizarding actress. First of all, the man did not speak English and second, he was a muggle. Gwen, however, continued her argument until Remus grabbed her arm and, laughing, pulled her towards the middle of the piazza.

"Why did you do that?" she asked; her mock-offended look marred by her burgeoning smile. "I almost had him convinced."

Remus chuckled. "Sorry about that."

"You should be," her smile broadened as she looked up at Remus. "Next time, watch out."

"I'll be sure to remember that," he smirked a little at her.

The red-orange sun was just sinking below the old church as the Italian villagers scuffled past Remus and Gwen. An old woman dressed completely in black and carrying a basket full of plump red tomatoes smiled at them warmly.

"Bella coppia," a woman in a faded sundress and huge sunglasses murmured to the dark-featured man next to her.

Remus watched with great interest as the light from the sunset caressed Gwen's impish grin; seemingly lighting her from within. She blinked and a flush of pink filled her cheeks as her eyes flicked down to the cobble-stoned ground. His lips parted when she looked back up at him. A piece of hair had fallen into her eyes and he pushed it away softly. Then, feeling the heat fill his own face, he looked down as well; scuffing his sandaled feet.

"Remus," she said; laughter back in her voice. It was a different kind of laughter though, a nervous kind.

"Yeah," he looked back up to her excited blue eyes.

"Are you going to kiss me or not?" she said bluntly; her tongue at the corner of her parted mouth. She glanced away for a second; sticking her tongue out farther. Then she looked back at him a little sheepishly.

He was a little shocked at her forward comment, but he smiled anyway and, after a pause, nodded. He stepped closer to her and placed one hand on the side of her face. She leaned forward expectantly; her sapphire eyes burning with anticipation. Remus gently chuckled and rubbed her cheek affectionately; utterly amazed at the girl that stood before him. Then, with a breath, he smiled and leaned in. Softly, he tilted his head and placed his lips on top of hers. Her arms snaked around his waist and he slipped his other hand up to her face; holding it tenderly as he kissed her. He could feel her smiling under his lips and the corners of his mouth moved up with hers. There were gentle coos and affectionate smiles from the villagers as the last light of the Italian sun blessed Remus and Gwen in the middle of the shimmering piazza.

"Remus," she said between kisses. "Do you think we're going to become one of those annoying couples?"

He laughed and she quickly kissed him again.

"Merlin, I hope so," he murmured against her lips as he wrapped his arms around her and the sun sank out of view.

* * *

Sirius had stayed at the office late. He couldn't believe it. Him, Sirius Black, at the office late? It was laughable really. But he didn't want to go home. Remus was off in Italy with Gwen and he knew that sitting in that room by himself would only make him think of Dorcas. He tried to ignore the fact that he was instead just sitting in his office thinking about Dorcas.

"Mr. Black," a small voice came from the door.

"What is it, Dione?" he asked, looking up from his desk at his secretary.

She held up a piece of parchment. "The news just came in. Do you want to see it?"

"Is James still here?" he asked uninterestedly.

She shook her head. The curly hair bounced.

"Then let me look at it," he shrugged. She placed the parchment on his desk; her cleavage visible over her low-cut polka-dotted robes. Sirius let himself glance at her chest for a few seconds before his mind went straight back to Dorcas. He made an angry noise and snatched the parchment, reading it quickly. Something caught his attention right away.

"The Stebbinses?" he said in a shocked voice.

"What Mr. Black?" Dione asked. She had turned to leave his office and spun back around to face him.

"Have you read this?" he asked.

She shook her head stupidly.

"The Stebbinses were killed. I went to Hogwarts with the oldest son, Baxter. We only graduated two months ago," he said slowly; placing a hand against his forehead and rubbing his face roughly.

Dione's somewhat blank honey-colored eyes grew and she rushed forward to Sirius' desk; struggling a little in her outrageous heels. "Oh Mr. Black," she placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

Her breasts caught his eye again. _"You're disgusting, Black,"_ he thought to himself. _"Baxter Stebbins has just died and you're staring at your secretary's tits"  
_He forced his glance away and remembered the last time he had talked to Baxter. It was at the Leaver's Ball. With Dorcas. Dorcas. That was also the last night he'd done anything with a woman. With Dorcas. He hadn't seen Dorcas since school ended; hadn't even heard from her. But she still dominated his thoughts. Suddenly Sirius was filled with a sort of determined, revenge-filled lust. He needed to get her out of his system right now.

Dione was now sitting on the edge of Sirius' desk; looking at him with big eyes. Rather violently, he stood from his desk and walked around next to her. She watched him the whole way; her cow eyes growing scared. When he pulled her roughly to her feet, she put her hands on his chest; ready to push him away.

"Mr. Black," she said breathlessly. "I can't…I'll get fired."

"By who?" he said, a defiant look in his electric gray eyes. "I do own half of the company."

She frowned a little, but didn't resist when he kissed her.

* * *

"YOU DID WHAT?" James screamed at Sirius.

The two friends along with Lily, Remus, and Peter were having dinner at Sirius' as a sort of belated housewarming. Lily, luckily, had cooked. Her Potions skills translated into the kitchen well. Sirius and James were cleaning up while Remus recounted his Italian adventure with Gwen to Lily and Peter. Occasionally, she would laugh loudly or make some sort of happy exclamation. James kept glancing at the open door as he magically scoured pots and smiling softly. Then Sirius had told him what had happened the night before. James had dropped his wand in the surprise; causing soapy water to spray all over the kitchen walls.

"I got the news to Reginald before the broadcast," Sirius shrugged.

"But you shagged Dione?" James was agast as he cleaned up the water. "You shagged your secretary? Sirius, you can't shag your secretary."

"Why not?" he asked. "I'm not married."

"Merlin," James said under his breath. "And you wonder why Dorcas wouldn't marry you."

Sirius' head shot up from the sink. "What does she have to do with this?"

James' face finally broke into complete comprehension and he made a sound to show his new view of the incident. "So that's what it was. You were trying to get her out of your head."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sirius growled, turning back to the dirty goblets in front of him. "She is not in my head."

"You're allowed to have a bird in your head, Sirius," James laughed a little.

Sirius looked at James and, remembering James' former thoughts of Lily, nodded slightly.

"Yeah," he smirked. "I might not have been dumped when I proposed which, yes, does warrant a special kind of disappointment, but I do know about rejection, Sirius."

"You did get her in the end, though," Sirius looked away; glancing out the tiny window over the sink.

"Who's to say you won't too?" James said; shrugging as he sent a pot back to its place in the cupboard.

"Who's to say I want her back," he snapped quickly.

James took a breath; trying to gauge the situation. "Well," he said slowly. "I do know that shagging your secretary is not going to make Dorcas' memory disappear. Unless, of course, you're in love with Dione."

He said the last part with a slight laugh. Sirius made a short, chopped "pshh" sound in utter dismissal of the idea.

"That's what I thought," James laughed.

Sirius grumbled and stopped washing the goblets. "Do you really think she was right, James?"

James was silent for a second. "I do think it would have been a mistake for the two of you to get married." His brow furrowed in thought. "But she was a bloody idiot to just run off like that."

Sirius suddenly felt a huge weight on his chest. Dorcas hadn't wanted to run away. For the first time, she hadn't wanted to take off. It was him who pushed her away. But he couldn't tell James that. He couldn't tell the man with a fiancée he was willing to do anything for that he had pushed away the only girl he'd ever loved because of his pride. Damn that Black arrogance. Despite Sirius' hatred for his family, he knew he had inherited their arrogance. It gave him yet another reason to hate his parents.

"Padfoot," James said; a melancholy grin on his face. "It'll be alright."

Sirius smiled at his friend; taking an unaffected pose and leaning against the kitchen counter. "I know."

James knew Sirius too well to believe this rouse. He frowned a little. "You'll be okay. It just may take awhile."

"I'm fine now," Sirius shrugged; going back to the goblets.

James walked up next to his friend. "Sirius," he said quietly; leaning forward to look at his friend's tortured face.

Sirius took a breath and closed his eyes. "I just miss her something terrible, Prongs."

"I know, mate."


	37. Chapter 37

Lily was ecstatic for Remus. He deserved all the love in the world, and Gwen was just the girl to give it to him. Lily had, of course, seen something brewing a long time ago: the way Gwen always had a smile on Remus' face, the way she seemed completely comfortable with him, and the way she refused to let him feel sorry for himself.

"Have you told her yet?" she asked quietly.

Remus had looked down at his feet and shook his head. "I don't know how."

Lily put a hand softly on Remus' knee from her seat on the sofa opposite him. "You have to, you know."

"I don't have to tell her now," he looked up at her; his brown eyes pleading. "I don't want to ruin anything. I don't want her to run off."

"From what you've told me about yesterday, she won't be running off anytime soon," she smiled at Remus rather maternally. Then, with a twinkle in her eye, she added, "I have to convince James to take me to Tuscany."

Remus' face broke a little, but soon returned to his tortured frown. "Lily..." he said brokenly. "I can't tell her. Not now, at least."

"I don't know why you could tell me and Dorcas just like that," she snapped her fingers. "But you can't tell the girl you've been sharing all your feelings with for the past six months."

"I knew you wouldn't mind," he said simply. "And Dorcas…well, she had to know. It was getting ridiculous. With Gwen…well, I just…I just don't think I could handle it if she rejected me."

He looked back at the ground and Lily sighed. "I understand, Remus. I do. But give Gwen a little credit. It probably won't change a thing."

"Lily…I…"

"Tell her when you feel comfortable telling her," Lily shrugged; leaning back into her seat. "But Remus, you have to do it soon."

He nodded slowly; blinking. "I know."

"So Remus Lupin and Gwendolyn Abercrombie," James whistled as he and Sirius came back into the living room. He settled himself next to Lily on the sofa and threw an arm over the back. "When are we going to Tuscany?"

"Sounds like a nice honeymoon," she suggested. He raised his eyebrows and kissed her lightly on the lips. She laughed a little.

"Tawdry Italian affairs," James said suggestively, still looking at Lily. "Never would have expected it from you, Moony."

"It was hardly tawdry," Lupin laughed. "I just kissed her."

"In the middle of a piazza in front of an ancient cathedral after a day of sunbathing and gelato-eating in the Italian countryside," Lily reminded him. "That is perhaps the most romantic kiss I have ever heard of."

"Was ruining your sister's wedding not romantic enough?" James tried to look offended.

Lily couldn't help bursting out in laughter. She doubled over.

"Hey…"

"I love you James," she laughed.

"Love you too," he smirked and kissed her again

"Gwendolyn is pretty good looking," Peter offered. "Congrats, mate."

Remus laughed slightly; turning rather pink and smiling sheepishly. "Thanks Peter."

"I'm not surprised she kissed you," Sirius drawled; a newly-formed scowl crossing his face. "Gwendolyn Abercrombie is a bit of a slag, you know. I mean, there was this one time in the library 5th year…"

Sirius was stopped by a hard slap to the side of his face. "HOW DARE YOU?" Lily bellowed at him. "I don't care what Dorcas Meadowes did to you, you have NO RIGHT to take this away from him."

"Lily," Remus said quietly; watching the exchange nervously. "It's alright…"

"No Remus," her green eyes were burning with anger at Sirius, who was holding his face; his eyes narrowed. "Sirius cannot act like an arsehole just because something bad happened to him. And he cannot treat you or Gwen this way."

"Hey James," Sirius growled. "Can you get your fiancée to keep her nose out of my fucking business?"

"Shut up Sirius," James said angrily. "She's right."

Lily exhaled angrily as Sirius stood and, glaring at her, made his way into the bedroom. He slammed the door behind him.

"Remus," Lily turned to him and placed a supportive hand on his shoulder. Her eyes were still burning but they softened a bit when she addressed Remus. "I'm so sorry."

Remus breathed and then shrugged. "He's just upset and… he did shag Gwen in the stacks."

"He had no right to say those things," Lily said; still fuming and now pacing. "Who hasn't he shagged in the stacks?"

"Ummm…..You," Peter said.

Everyone looked at him, completely shocked looks on their faces. Peter shrunk a little in his chair; damning himself for what he said. After a second, a smile grew on Lily's face. She plopped down in her spot next to James.

"That's damn right."

* * *

The meetings of the Order were utterly exhausting. Held in a different member's home every week, they were spent rehashing the latest attacks and any evidence they had managed to dig up. Rumors were discussed as facts, a single glimpse of a wizard near an attack site considered a suspicion. Elphias Doge swore he saw Robert Mordaunt, the missing minister of magic, at the Harris' home the day the Auror couple were killed were killed. Moody even promised to look into it. Every possibility, every shadow, every scrap was pondered until no one could think straight.

"What we really need are more eyes," Moody said one day. "How is the recruiting effort going?"

Everyone looked around; praying that someone would have one person to bring to the table. Lily scanned the table: Gideon and Fabian Prewett, Emmeline Vance, Edgar Bones, Caradoc Dearborn, Sirius, Benjy Fenwick, Frank and Alice Longbottom, Hagrid, McGonagall, Moody, Doge, Peter, Remus, James…everyone shook their heads.

"I have found another member," Dumbledore said from the corner of the room. Lily hadn't seen him through the entire meeting and smiled a little at his secrecy. A short, curvy blonde woman stood next to him. "Miss Marlene McKinnon," he presented her and she nodded her head slightly. "Recent graduate from the Auror academy."

"Hello," Marlene said in a quiet but firm voice. "I want to help in anyway I can."

"Why don't you both sit down?" Emmeline offered; pulling two chairs to the table with a flick of her wrist.

"Thank you Emmeline," Marlene smiled. "How are you?" The two girls had both been Ravenclaws in the same year at Hogwarts.

"Alright," Emmeline nodded.

"Marlene," Lily asked. "How is Muriel doing?"

Marlene smiled at the mention of her sister. "She just got engaged actually. He's going into the Auror academy next month. Cade Bradley is his name."

Sirius scoffed loudly.

"Ignore him," James smiled, then sent a glare at his friend.

"Shouldn't we be talking about possible Death Eaters at the Scott's last week?" Remus asked quickly; eager to keep Sirius from blowing up.

"I'm sure Bellatrix Black was there," Moody narrowed his eyes. "Harpy, that woman."

"The Towlers live nearby," Doge said; leaning back in his seat. "Owen swore he saw Severus Snape that night."

"I can't believe he turned into a murderer," Lily sighed; frowning.

"Damn Snivellus," Sirius scowled. "Always knew he was a bad egg, just like my pathetic cousin."

"You're sure you have no idea where Bellatrix or Regulus may be hiding, Sirius?" James asked; leaning forward and putting his elbow on the large wooden table.

"You know I haven't spoken to Bellatrix or my parents in years. I have absolutely no clue."

James leaned back in his chair; letting it balance on the two back legs. "Anything on the Robert Mordaunt theory, Moody?"

Moody actually laughed. "It's not possible. Mordaunt was in Peru that night."

"Well, is there anything else?" James looked around the room; begging someone to give him something. No one said anything. A few shook their heads or pursed their lips in defeat.

"Then I guess that's it for this week," Moody sighed. "Keep your eyes peeled for anything. Anything."

There was a feeling of utter despair and frustration as the members began to disappear one by one. Peter approached Dumbledore.

"Sir," he said sadly. "Doesn't it feel like we're looking for something that isn't there?"

"Well, Peter," he looked over his spectacles. "It very obviously is there. Hundreds of wizards have been killed."

"Don't you ever just want to give up?" he asked; fear filling his pudgy face.

Dumbledore smiled slightly. "It is no shame to lose if you fight for the right cause, Peter."

Peter nodded, biting his lip, and Dumbledore disappeared.

* * *

"James," Lily yelled from the hallway, propping open her flat door with her foot. "If you don't hurry up, I'm going to be late. I don't own St. Mungo's, remember."

"Sorry Lil," he yelled back. "This owl won't let go of the prophet."

"I'm counting to 10 and then I'm leaving without you," Lily glanced impatiently at her wristwatch. "JAMES!"

"Lily," the voice was softer. "Lily, I think you'd better come in here."

With an exasperated sigh, she stormed back into the kitchen and began tapping her foot. "What is it? We really have to leave now."

James was staring at the front page of the Prophet. His face was in utter shock: wide eyes, trembling mouth, furrowed brow. He swallowed and shook his head in slow motion. "I don't think we'll be going to work today, Lily."

Lily rolled her eyes. "James, I have to go to work. I don't own…"

"Lily," he said firmly and looked up her; holding _The Daily Prophet_ out in front of him. She looked him in the eyes; trying to read his expression. Something had happened. Something awful. She settled, her mouth parting and her eyes growing with questions, and took the paper from James' outstretched hand.

Lily gasped as she read the headline.

_Attack on Muggle Bus Station in Bristol: Hundreds Killed_

It was the picture, however, that she focused on. The bus station nearest Lily's childhood home was gone. In its place was a huge pile of rubble and earth. Emergency workers were digging through the rubble; searching for bodies or any lucky survivors. After the initial shock, her eyes flicked to the side of the picture. The filled car park was still intact and partially visible. When she saw the old brown hatchback, she immediately collapsed. James was able to get his arms under her before she hit the floor. She felt the sick rising in her throat and, in desperation, pushed herself forward to the ground. She pulled herself across the floor to the loo. The minute she reached the toilet, she began retching. James was right behind her and held her hair back; rubbing her back as the sick continued to come. When Lily had nothing left to throw up, she continued retching; desperate to find something else to expel. Soon, the rocking motion brought her to violent, angry sobs and she threw herself into James' arms.


	38. Chapter 38

Since George and Ruth's bodies weren't found in the rubble, they didn't have a traditional funeral. Petunia had put together a sort of memorial service instead and sent Lily a very short, very impersonal response to her lengthy, personal letter telling her that it would be held at St. Gregory's church on Aug 20th.

Entering the church where Petunia and Vernon had been married, Lily clung desperately to James' right arm. She looked at the people sitting in the pews on either side of her and they nodded gravely and rather awkwardly at her, as if someone had told them that was how you acted towards a grieving daughter. The organ music sounded off-key and sinister to her as she reached the front of the church. James helped her slide into the pew next to Petunia and followed her in. Petunia turned to Lily and, letting the hand holding her handkerchief fall to her lap, scowled with a look of utter revulsion and fear. She scooted closer to Vernon, who wrapped a beefy arm around her bony shoulders, and began sobbing quietly. Lily felt about five years old again. She clenched her shoulders and tightened her body; fiddling with her hands in her lap. James gently kissed the side of her head and, when she turned her face to look at him, there were tears in her eyes.

"Come here," he whispered and wrapped his arms around her.

The service began with a blessing from the Vicar. He went on to speak about the glory of the Evans' next adventure and the happiness their survivors should feel for them. He spoke of the tragedy of the faulty electricity in the building, but remarked that it was all part of God's plan. Petunia delivered the eulogy and, to Lily's expectations, the speech was peppered with "Vernon and I's" and not a single, "Lily." The grief she felt at the sudden loss of her parents mingled with anger at her sister's insensitivity. Petunia returned to her seat; refusing to look at Lily. James held her hand tightly in his lap while the congregation placed flowers under the pictures of George and Ruth at the front of the church and walked behind her with his hands on her still clenched shoulders as she marched up with a single white lily. He waited a few steps behind her as she kneeled to place the unblemished flower under her parents' picture. When she stood and walked back to him, he gently kissed her on the crown and placed his hands on either side of her face. Then took her hand in his and walked her back to their seats. She squeezed his hand tightly and refused to let go of it through the final words of the vicar.

When the service ended, Petunia stood and, begrudgingly, gestured for Lily to follow. The sisters stood at the front of the church; accepting condolences from congregation. Lily didn't even recognize most of these people. Vernon's parents were there and his sister Marge. They had thrown their arms around Petunia; sharing deeply in her grief, but given Lily rather disgusted looks. James stood next to her; their hands still tightly clenched together. Lily was sure that if wasn't there, she would have collapsed into a pile on the floor. She tried to be gracious to all the people filing by, but wanted to burst into tears the entire time. Petunia looked somewhat the same.

When the last person had kissed Petunia awkwardly and left the church, Petunia took Vernon's arm and began to leave.

"Petunia," Lily called. "Aren't we going to talk about this?"

Petunia turned on her heel and the grieved scowl was plastered on her face again. "What exactly do you suppose we talk about?"

Lily looked up at James for moral support. He nodded.

"It wasn't faulty electricity that blew up the bus station," she said slowly, her eyes prickling. "It was…" She sighed and put a hand to her forehead to regain her composure. "There's a mad murdering wizard running around. I haven't told you." She shrugged, "There was never a point."

"Well what is the point of telling me now?" Petunia's face was growing uglier with rage by the second. "Aren't you all mad and murdering?" She looked sourly at James.

Lily exhaled loudly. She would not yell at Petunia. "He blew up the station Petunia. It was in the paper."

Vernon's grip on Petunia's bony shoulders tightened and the color in Petunia's face was suddenly gone.

"How dare you," she said through her teeth. "How dare you turn our parents' death into another way for you to bring up your _abnormality?"_

Lily felt the hot tears finally falling down her face. James tightened his grip on her hand. "That's what happened, Petunia."

Petunia's already tear-stained face became ugly with contortions as more liquid fell from her eyes. "I can see that your _fiancée_ has had quite an effect on your thinking. I always knew you were a freak, but I never thought you'd be delusional."

James stepped forward; a scowl growing on his face.

"This has nothing to do with James, Petunia," Lily sobbed; her free hand flying up to her face. "He killed them. It was him. Why can't you accept that?"

Petunia was baring her teeth in complete anger. "Our parents' death at least resulted in one good thing. We no longer need stay in contact. Come on, Vernon."

She scowled at Lily and James once more and then grabbed Vernon's hand. He glowered at them as he led her out of the church. James and Lily watched them leave; he scowled back at Vernon while she continued to cry with a hand held to her mouth. When they disappeared, James wrapped his arms around her and her face fell hard into his chest. She sobbed loudly; leaving his dress shirt a mess.

"Lily," he said quietly. "It's alright. We knew she'd react that way."

"I know," she said into his chest. "But…why is she so horrible?"

"She doesn't understand," he kissed her on the head.

"She doesn't want to understand," Lily muttered; turning her head so that her cheek was pressed against him.

"Maybe not," he brushed her hair back with a hand.

"James," she looked up at him. Her face was a mess of smeared mascara, tears, and saliva. "Let's go home."

He nodded, took her by the hand and they walked out of the church.

* * *

Gwen returned Remus' visit two weeks after their Italian rendezvous. She had returned from Italy and she and her parents were back at their home in London. She met him at Sirius' flat early one morning. Remus was unbelievably grateful that Sirius was at the station that morning. Still touchy about the Gwen situation, Sirius had been spending a lot of time there lately. When he was home, Remus always felt he was walking on eggshells.

"So," Gwen wore her typical huge grin, as he opened the door. She leaned against the door frame. "What are we doing today?"

He smiled and, somewhat awkwardly, kissed her lightly on the lips. Her smile grew.

"I was thinking we could just hang out around Diagon Alley. We should probably stay away from the flat later on," he cocked his head a little.

"Awww," she nodded. "The scorned lover is still angry?"

Remus nodded. "I just think it would be a bad idea for the two of us to be together around him. You know, the couple thing…"

"So, he doesn't do bitter, he does angry?" she smirked.

Remus chuckled. "Exactly. Let me clean up the breakfast dishes and we'll go. Come on in."

She laughed as she entered the flat. "You clean the breakfast dishes? How responsible."

Remus smiled and led the way to the kitchen and she climbed up to sit on the counter; swinging her legs back and forth like a hyperactive child.

"You look even tanner," Remus glanced at her while he scrubbed oatmeal from a pot.

"Well, the Italian sun," she made an airy gesture with her hand and wore an aristocratic face. "Here," she launched off the counter and pulled out her wand rather dramatically. "Let me help you with that."

She picked up a bowl and began rinsing it out.

"Thanks," he smiled at the girl scrubbing dishes next to him. For some odd reason, he felt the need to kiss her right there. So, he did. She laughed and kissed him back.

"What was that for?" her face beamed.

"Felt like it," he shrugged.

The two spent another gloriously romantic day running through Diagon Alley. Today, Gwen tried to convince the man working in the Magical Menagerie that she was Hazel Chinowyth. Sadly, he was Ms. Chinowyth's uncle's best friend and had met her on more than one occasion. Gwen sighed, shrugged, and then tried to convince him that she was really Aphrodite Jones. She even started singing _All My Horklumps Live in Yorkshire_ so loudly that Remus' face turned bright scarlet. He had pulled her out of the store again.

They sat in front of Florean Fortescue's for hours eating sundaes. Gwen had tried to get free by pretending she was Fanny Freidman – the writer for Witch's Weekly. They people watched, Gwen made rude faces, Remus laughed heartily. It was as perfect as the day in Tuscany.

"I heard about Lily's parents," Gwen said in a softer voice as they walked home hand in hand. "How is she?"

Remus sighed. "She'll be alright. She always is. But she had a huge row with her sister at the service. Her sister won't believe that You-Know-Who was responsible for their deaths."

"How awful," she said quietly; tightening her grip and looking up at Remus.

He nodded. "She was devastated for a few days, but I think she's pulled out of it now."

They had reached the building. Looking up, Remus saw the light streaming from the third floor window, signaling that Sirius was home. He frowned and looked down at Gwendolyn. She was bathed in moonlight and looked perfect. He sighed with a lopsided grin.

"Well, I guess this is it then," he said.

She frowned slightly. "I guess so."

"This was wonderful," he took her other hand.

She smiled hugely. "It really was. Our first actual date."

Remus furrowed his brow a bit as he realized that she was right. A smile crossed his face. "It was, wasn't it?"

"It just felt normal didn't it?" she laughed.

He nodded. "Like we've been doing it for years."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and cradled the back of his head with her left hand. He leaned down to kiss her in the fading heat of the August night. His hands were splayed on her shoulder blades and pulled her close. They stood there for an indeterminable amount of time; their lips connected under the soft moonlight and the harsher yellow light flowing from the upstairs window.

When they separated, Remus looked into Gwen's beaming bright blue eyes and was immediately overcome with guilt. He had to tell her.

"Gwen…" he said quietly. "I…"

"What is it?" she asked, cupping his face in her hand. Merlin, she was beautiful there smiling at him. Smiling at him. The longer he stood there looking at her, the more nervous he became. She would bolt, he knew it.

"I really had a good time." he said quickly; looking at the ground.

"Goodbye," she whispered; blushing a little.

"You'll be alright getting home?" he asked. No one could be too careful these days.

She nodded. "I'm apparating. I'll be fine."

Reticently he let go of her. She smiled softly at him and, with a pop, she was gone. Remus stood there for a few moments; drinking in the night and what had happened that night. Despite the guilt that flooded his body, Remus couldn't help but feel a sort of weightlessness when he remembered the way she had curled her hand around his neck. Slowly, blindly, he walked into the building and up the stairs. He hoped Sirius was going to bed soon.


	39. Chapter 39

"Sherman…" James was pleading with the man. "We have to say _something_."

"We're delivering the news," Sherman said from his chair in front of James' desk. "I think that's enough."

James leaned forward. "We have to say something, Sherman. We've got the platform and it would be wrong of us not to take a stand."

Sherman exhaled and removed his glasses; clutching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. "James," he said quietly. "I'm very sorry about Lily's parents, but we can't turn the station into a political organization."

"This isn't just about Lily's parents," James had both elbows on his desk and was waving his arms and hands wildly. "This is about all the people that he's killed."

"I doubt he's going to stop because Wizarding Wireless is telling people he's a bad guy," Sherman put his glasses back on and leaned back in the plush chair. "And we'll lose half of our listeners. People listen to the wireless to get away from reality: to hear music, a few jokes. They don't want to hear political rants."

"They wouldn't be rants," James ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "They would just be people telling the public how to fight back. We could get Dumbledore, Alastor Moody…I'll speak myself. We just have to get people to fight back."

Sherman sighed and looked up at the young man in front of him. "Your optimism is amazing, Potter. The truth is most people don't fight back. They'd rather just lay low and be ignored."

"Sherman," James' eyes grew behind his glasses. "You lost a cousin last year. Don't you feel any sort of anger? Don't you want to help stop him?"

Sherman looked at the floor for a second; gathering his thoughts. "I don't want to lose my children. If we do this, we'll be at the top of the hit list. Everyone who works at WWN will be a target. Putting yourself in harm's way is one thing James," he shut his eyes for a second. "But do you really want that much responsibility on your shoulders?"

"Who's to say they don't want to be part of the resistance effort?" James said quickly; his arms flailing desperately.

"The people who work here aren't political activists, James." He said quietly; looking James straight in the eye. "They come to work, do their job, and earn a paycheck to help out their families. None of them will want this kind of trouble."

"I do own the company," James said after a second.

"You're right," Sherman nodded. "You do get to make the decisions. But, James, I urge you to be careful. Don't throw the entire company into this. Not just yet, at least. You'll lose half the listeners and half of the staff. The company will fold within months. You'll lose so much money…"

"This isn't about money," James snapped. "Merlin knows I've got enough money."

"But think about the people who'll lose their jobs, James." He shrugged. "Those blokes who work in transmitting. Most of them have been here as long as you've been alive. You'll be fine. Black'll be fine. I'll be fine. But them…what will they do?"

"I'll think about it some more," James conceded.

"Look James," Sherman said as he stood. "I know you're just trying to make a difference. But you're making a huge difference just by employing these people. You don't need to attach yourself to some noble cause."

"I've got to think, Sherman," he said; gesturing to the door. Sherman nodded and slipped out of James' office.

James took off his glasses and put his face in his hands. The weekly broadcasts denouncing Voldemort had seemed like a genius idea to him last night, but now…well, Sherman did make a few good points. James thought about his father. What would Douglas Potter have done? He ran this company smoothly for over thirty years. More than anything, James wished his father could tell him what to do. He had always taught James to speak up for what he believed in. Always. But Sherman was right. He couldn't just pull hundreds of unsuspecting employees into this. He was willing to take the risk, but were they? It just wasn't fair.

In the end, James decided not to run the weekly talks, but something inside of him kept telling him he should. He owned the Wizarding Wireless Network – one of the most powerful forms of mass communication available. In order to quell his conscience, he followed the path his father had taken and began writing editorials to The Daily Prophet. A few were published, but only a fraction of the hundreds James sent in. The particularly raging ones the newspaper sent back. To James, it wasn't nearly enough. But at least it was something.

James' first editorial was published the morning after Rachel Austen, a famous muggle-born Quidditch star, was murdered. There was a meeting of the order that afternoon, but as usual, no one had anything to say. The evidence about the Austen muder was spotty. Doge, of course, had his hair-brained theories; swearing he heard Austen's teammate, Lugo Bagman, mention something about telling a man in a pub that she was on holiday in Scotland. Moody promised he'd look into it.

Sirius, in his frustration with life, had run off to a seedy pub near Knockturn Alley that night. Setting himself at the bar, he ordered Ogden's Old Firewhiskey from the vampire-esque bartender. He threw it back and felt the alcohol burn down his throat. Exhaling deeply, he reveled in the warm feeling in his chest and ordered a pint of mead. He drank it quickly and ordered another. The bartender shrugged and pulled another.

"Rough day," he chuckled.

"Every day is a rough day," Sirius growled.

The bartender set the drink down and returned to his place behind the center of the bar. He whispered to a man nursing a butterbeer. The man laughed and stood, glancing at Sirius as he left. Sirius scowled at him.

After a third pint of mead and a few more shots of firewhiskey, Sirius was ready to go home and sleep it off. Suddenly a woman walked into the bar and sat down next to him. She smiled brightly at him.

"Hi Sirius," he immediately recognized the huge blue eyes.

"Julia Connors," he shrugged, drunkenly. "What are you doing here?'

"Looking for you," she licked her top lip seductively and flipped her dark brown hair off of her shoulders.

Sirius laughed loudly. "W..why are you l..llooking for me?"

She leaned forward; wearing a mischievous smile. "I missed you," she whispered in his ear. Then she stuck her tongue inside.

Sirius jumped. He smirked at Julia as she leaned back to her seat and bit her lip; running a hand through her hair. "What was that for?" he asked slowly, stumbling over the words.

"Let's go somewhere," she winked.

Sirius shrugged. "Alright," he smiled.

She stood and grabbed his hand and led him out the door and through the streets of Diagon Alley. He followed her obediently; occasionally stumbling forward. When they reached his flat, Sirius wondered for a second how she knew where it was. He unlocked the door and she pulled him into the living room. Remus was asleep on the pull-out sofa. In the dark of the room, Sirius tripped over an end-table and let out a loud profanity.

"Shh.." she laughed and placed a finger against his lips.

She led him to the bedroom door, opened it, and flipped the lights on. He stumbled in after her; limping a little on his bruised shin. Forcefully, she pushed him down on the bed. He smirked as she climbed on top of him and began to take off his clothes.

"Y..you're d..d.different than I remember J.j..julia," he chuckled drunkenly.

She said nothing and kept stripping. When he was naked from the waist up, she climbed off of the bed and stood over him. Sirius sat up on the bed but she pushed him back down. Pulling her wand from her robes, she climbed back onto his now-naked torso and kissed him while she stretched his arms above his head; binding them to the bedposts with a quick "incarcerous."

Sirius laughed. "Wwe're ggonna do tthat…"

She smiled again, but for the first time Sirius noticed that her eyes looked somewhat glazed over. He felt a flicker of fear run through him.

"Untie me," he said; shaking his head.

She smirked and shook her head; pulling herself back off of the bed. Sirius' legs, which weren't restrained, began kicking wildly.

"Rem.." he yelled before a gag appeared in his mouth.

Julia's dead eyes stared at Sirius' terrified ones.

She pulled up her wand and pointed it directly at Sirius' chest. His entire body was now jerking on the bed, rocking the piece of furniture violently. He yanked his arms as hard as he could to free himself, but the ropes were too strong.

He saw Julia's mouth open and closed his eyes; ashamed that he would be dying in such an embarrassing way. He kept rocking; hopeful that he may be able to dodge the spell.

"STUPEFY!" he heard a voice yell.

Why had she stunned him? He was already restrained. Then Sirius realized he was still moving. He opened his eyes and saw a huge-eyed Remus standing at the foot of the bed.

"Are you alright?" he asked; his breathing heavy.

Sirius swallowed and nodded; sighing loudly. Remus walked to the side of the bed and untied Sirius' right arm. When he had freed the other arm, Sirius rubbed his wrists and pulled the gag out of his mouth, throwing it on to the floor.

"Thanks mate," Sirius muttered. "What are we going to do with her?"

Remus looked at the stunned form of the imperius-influenced Julia Connors.

"I'll call Moody," he sighed. "He'll take care of it."

Sirius rolled over to his side and rubbed his face. He was starting to get a headache.

"You can't do that anymore, you know," Remus said.

"What? Bring home birds from pubs?" Sirius slurred. "Yeah, I know. I'm supposed to shag people I actually know."

Remus sighed and left the room; looking for a piece of parchment and a quill to send a message to Moody. Sirius exhaled largely; unbelievably relieved to have gotten out of that little pickle. He stood up and stumbled back into the living room. Remus looked up from the coffee table when he walked in.

"Go back to bed, Sirius. You're drunk."

"I know I'm drunk," he grumbled, sitting down on the pull-out next to Remus. "I also almost got killed."

Remus shrugged.

"Hey look mate," he placed an uneasy hand on Remus' shoulder. "Thanks a lot."

Remus looked at him and then turned back to the parchment on the table. "What did you think I'd do? Sit in here and listen to you get blown away by a girl under the Imperius Curse?"

"You could have," Sirius shrugged. "I've been sort of a prat lately."

"Sort of," Remus said without looking up.

"I'm sorry about what I said about Gwen," he slurred.

"I know," Remus nodded. He stood with the finished letter and gave it to Sirius' owl. The white bird flew out of the window immediately. "Go to bed, Sirius," he said again, turning to see a rather queasy-looking Sirius now lying on his bed.

"But she's still in there," he protested.

Remus sighed. "Just sleep there then."

Sirius smiled slightly and closed his eyes. Remus rolled his eyes and plopped into the armchair to wait for Moody.


	40. Chapter 40

"They didn't publish it," James said; crestfallen as he scanned the editorial pages of the Sunday edition of _The Daily Prophet_.

Lily took a large, exasperated gulp of her tea. "Do they publish any?"

James exhaled and threw the paper down on the breakfast table; turning to his toast. He shrugged as he took a huge bite of butter and marmalade. They were both in their pajamas at Lily's flat. James had spent the night. It was now more usual than not that he did. They were used to living together. It felt much more comfortable than living apart. Still, Abigail Potter had a rather keen sense of propriety and the idea of her only son officially living with a woman who was not his wife was unacceptable to her, no matter how many nights James spent in her flat. It was strictly a don't ask, don't tell policy.

"Do you think Sherman would reconsider?" Lily asked; holding her tea cup in both hands near her chest.

James shook his head; his mouth still full of toast. "He's a coward. Always has been."

"Well, fire him then," she said flatly.

"I'm not going to fire him, Lily," James sighed. "He's the only one there who actually knows how to run the station. I just sign off everything he suggests."

"Have you talked to Sirius about this?" she asked; a little skeptically.

"Sirius," James smirked sadly. "Sirius does even less than I do. He shows up at the office occasionally, flirts with the secretaries and a few of the stars. You should have seen what happened when he told Medea Williams that she had a nice arse. I was so sure she was going to hex him…Half the time he's completely tossed-off."

Lily put her tea cup down and her hand slipped up to her chin. She thought for a second. "Maybe you should fire him."

James shook his head furiously. "I can't. He owns half of the company. Besides, Lily, he's my best friend."

She nodded, sighing a little. "He's still a mess then?"

James nodded gravely; putting his tea cup down.

"Even after what happened that night with Julia Connors?"

He nodded again. "Remus told me he's just been more reckless. Can you imagine a MORE reckless Sirius? More drinking, more birds. He bought some bloody motorbike the other day." James held his forehead in his hand and closed his eyes. "And when he doesn't have a bottle or a girl, he's sulking around as a dog."

"You should talk to him, James," she rested her cheek on her fist; pursing her lips as she looked at her fiancee.

He looked up at her. "I know," he smiled sadly. "But, Lily, the woman I love is sitting right across the table from me. He has no idea where in Merlin's name the woman he loves is. For all he knows, she might be dead." James' head dropped and he ran a hand over his hair. "Hearing me talk about it is like salt in the wound, don't you think?"

"Maybe," she shrugged; unable to completely stop the blush that invaded her face when he had called her the woman he loved. "But James, you can't let him keep doing these things. He'll end up killing himself."

"You're right," he breathed loudly and looked up at her. Then, a smile grew on his face. "You're always right."

He leaned across the table and kissed her softly. She smiled.

"Listen Potter," she said; shooting James a faux angry face. "You've been spending an awfully large amount of time at my flat lately."

James smirked. "I assumed, Evans, that you liked that."

"Well, of course I do, Potter," she rolled her eyes and shook her head. "But I'm beginning to think that you would stay engaged forever; constantly living in sin. That would be so typical of you."

"What are you suggesting, Evans?" he raised his eyebrows ever so slightly.

"Can we just get married already, James?" she sighed loudly. "We're living like a married couple. Can't we just make it official?"

James eyes grew a little; but he grinned and nodded. "When did you want to do it?"

"Soon," she smiled at him hugely. "Next month."

"Alright Evans," he nodded again. "Awfully quick planning though, don't you think?"

Lily's face suddenly grew wistful and she looked down at her tea cup for a second. "I don't really care about a huge ceremony, James, I just want to be your wife."

She looked back up at him and his face was so full of love that Lily's heart almost broke.

"I just want to be your husband," he said with a lop-sided grin. He reached across the table and grabbed her hand. She held it tightly and looked into her future husband's face. He grinned back at her. They were really getting married. James rubbed the emerald on Lily's finger ever so slightly. She laughed. He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed it. His hazel eyes gleamed and Lily felt herself growing inside.

"Come on," she whispered as she stood. He smirked ever so slightly. Lily laughed. "Oh come off it Potter, don't tell me you aren't used to this yet."

He stood; smiling directly into her eyes. "I will never get used to this. Even when you are Lily Potter, I will never get used to this."

Lily's face broke out into an unbreakable grin. "James," she whispered; looking down a little.

He leaned forward and whispered in her ear. "Never."

Rising back up, he kissed her on the forehead. She smiled hugely and led him slowly to the bedroom. The sheets and coverlet were thrown carelessly when they had finally risen an hour before and lay half folded over one side of the bed.

James took Lily in his arms and kissed her gently on the lips. Cradling her head in his hands, he deepened the kiss and she welcomed him by pressing her body against his. He ran his hands through the length of her fiery hair and placed a hand on the back of her neck; feeling the familiar curve. She held fast to his shoulder blades; pulling him down and melting into his mouth.

They discarded clothing as they kissed their way to the bed. A top flew one way, bottoms another, knickers towards the door. When they reached the bed, Lily rolled on top of James and slid her body over his. Rocking her hips with her hands on his chest, his clenched tightly around her waist and their eyes closed in ecstasy, they both cried each other's names over and over. When it was over, they did it again.

* * *

Remus' transformations since school had ended had been more awful than ever. He had to transform in Sirius' tiny flat and was always terrified of what he might do to the place. Sirius, of course, wasn't exactly a stickler for neatness, but Remus still wanted to be as good a guest as possible. As if a werewolf could be a good guest.

He was alone most of the time now. Occasionally Sirius would stay home or James would drop by for an hour or two, but Sirius was too wrapped up in his stupidity to care or even remember that Remus was transforming and James was wedding planning with Lily. Peter never did anything without James.

Tonight was one of those lonely nights. He had barricaded himself in the living room; moving all the furniture into Sirius' bedroom. He now lay in the middle of the room on the hardwood floor; staring nervously out the window as dusk settled into night. The moon wasn't out yet; but it wouldn't be long now. Memories of the tiny twinges of excitement he had felt during this time just six months ago flooded him and he sighed loudly. All he felt now was fear.

Remus heard the sound of someone coming up the stairs. It must be Lucas Friedly upstairs.

The footsteps came closer. Friedly must be on the third floor now. But suddenly, the footsteps stopped. Remus shot up when he heard a loud knocking on the door. His heart beat faster. If he just ignored it, whoever it was would go away. Then, Remus heard the most terrifying sound possible.

"REMUS," Gwen's voice rang out with its usual laughter. "Let's go out tonight. I've got my Rosalind Finlick down."

Remus' heart stopped. Then it started again at an alarming rate. What was he going to do? He would be transforming any minute now. She would find out if she didn't leave now.

"Gwen," he yelled nervously; running to the door and cracking it ever so slightly. "Look…you've got to go. I can't go out tonight."

She laughed. "Come on, please."

"No," he knew that the shaking of his voice was obvious; but right now he didn't care.

She was silent for a second and Remus held his breath.

"How about I just hang out with you here? I saw Sirius at the Leaky Cauldron on my way in. It didn't look like he would be leaving any time soon." The mirth in Gwen's voice warmed Remus, but scared him equally.

"Gwen," he said firmly. "You have to leave now. Now."

"Remus, what's going on?" Her voice had grown concerned. "Why won't you let me in?"

"Gwen," he tried to gather his emotions by swallowing hard. "You have to go. Go home."

"Rem.."

"Just go," he screamed; his voice cracking.

He heard her gasp slightly, followed by the quick run down the stairs. Depserate to prevent any more incidents, Remus put the silencing spell on the flat and stashed his wand under the kitchen door. The moon wasn't out yet, so he ran to the window to get a glance of Gwen. He saw her run from the building, her ponytail bouncing. She slowed as she exited the building; as if she was processing what had just happened. She tipped her head up to look into the third story window and Remus inhaled sharply when he saw her tormented face half hidden in shadow. He knew she had seen him because a few seconds later, Remus saw her tiny frame hunch over and he knew that she was crying. He felt the tears prickling his own eyes. Why couldn't he have just told her?

She stopped; leaning against the florist's window for support as she cried. Remus could barely see her, but the florist's shop had been expanded forward and the flat sat a few feet back from the front. He wanted nothing more than to run down to her and throw his arms around her; stopping all the tears. Remus had no idea how many times he had wished he wasn't a werewolf, but tonight he wished the hardest. He watched her for as long as she stood there, which wasn't very long. Soon, Gwen had wiped her face and stood up. She was still in that position for a second, her shoulders shaking slightly. When she started walking away, Remus felt a tear roll down his face.

He was just about to turn from the window when something caught his eye. A thin figure wearing a black cloak stepped out of the shadows.

"GWEN," Remus screamed at the top of his lungs as he saw a wand drawn. The silencing charm kept anyone from hearing his cry. He fumbled to find his wand, but he realized it was in the locked kitchen. Desperately, he pulled at the window. He pulled and pulled; tearing his fingers until they bled profusely. He had locked it too. Remus felt as if he was being strangled. He continued to scream and kick at the window, knowing that no one would notice him.

Suddenly, there was a flash of green light. Remus' heart collapsed with Gwen's stiff body. He stood there in a complete state of shock; completely unable to move. Before he could, the moon rose and he felt his bones begin to stretch. A loud, mournful howl escaped from him as the transformation began and he sunk painfully to the floor.


	41. Chapter 41

The moment Sirius returned home the next morning, he owled James. The floor and walls of the living room sported bright scarlet swipes and drips. The doors and window were scarred badly by deep, vicious claw marks.

Remus was passed out in the corner. He was a terrifying shade of white and looked skeletal. The already scarred body was painted angrily with bleeding cuts and scratches. His face seemed to have aged ten years in that single night; worry and frown lines around his eyes and mouth were mirrored in three deep parallel red cuts across his right cheek.

"Remus," Sirius said; leaning down over his friend. "Remus. Wake up."

He didn't respond and Sirius felt the sick tingling of fear as he reached down to feel the side of Remus' neck with two fingers. After a second, he felt a pulse and released the breath he had been holding.

Sure Remus would be mortified at being found naked like this, Sirius unlocked his torn-up door and entered his bedroom. He had to climb over the extra furniture in the small room to the closet. He pulled out a bathrobe and heard an insistent rapping at his door.

"SIRIUS," he heard James' voice. "Sirius, is he alright?"

"Give me a second," Sirius yelled back, as he scrambled over the sleeper sofa. Throwing the robe over Remus, he burst the door open to see a terrified Lily and James.

"Is he alright?" Lily asked; her face white.

Sirius backed away from the door and let the two come in. Lily gasped when she saw the room and Remus' prostrate body on the floor. James' shoulders clenched tightly.

"He's alive," Sirius said quickly as Lily rushed to kneel next to Remus.

James walked to stand behind her and Sirius stood next to him. The three of them held their breath as Lily muttered a quick spell.

Breathing heavily and painfully, Remus' huge dark eyes shot open. He sat up immediately and grabbed Lily by the shoulders. "Who was it?" he demanded; shaking her. "Did you catch them?"

James took a step closer, but Lily motioned for him to stop. "What are you talking about Remus?" She looked at him with deep concerned eyes. "Did we catch who?"

He swallowed hard and Lily saw his bloody jaw tremble. "The person who killed Gwen.

His breathing grew louder as Lily felt her stomach drop. James and Sirius exchanged frightened glances. Lily put a hand to her mouth and Remus shook her again. He was so maniacal that he didn't even notice that the robe had fallen off of him and he was completely naked in front of Lily.

"Someone killed her last night," he screamed; tears falling from his face and his grief growing as he went on. "Right outside the building. I watched the whole thing. I tried to stop it. I couldn't…I couldn't."

He collapsed onto Lily's shoulder; sobbing hard and clutching the back of her blouse. She wrapped her arms around him; whispering softly, but frozen in shock herself. Her terrified face turned to look at James. His hazel eyes mirrored the fear and grief in her green ones. They both swallowed hard.

"Right outside the building…" Sirius repeated; his face frozen in incomprehension.

"It was my fault," Remus cried. "I couldn't stop it. I had locked myself in…"

"It was not your fault," Lily said firmly.

"It was," he nodded against her shoulder; gasping for air. "If I wasn't so…so…such a freak, I would have been able to save her." The violent tears rushed out hard at this point and his head slumped from Lily's shoulder to her lap. His hands fell from her shoulders to desperately clench the hardwood floor. She let him fall and began to stroke his blood-matted hair.

"It was not your fault Remus," she repeated. She suddenly found her strength and began issuing orders. "James, Sirius, go see what you can find out about what happened last night. See if you can't find a…a…a body." She swallowed hard. "I'll clean him up and calm him down."

"Are you sure?" James asked; eyeing Remus warily. "You sure you don't want me to stay?"

She shook her head furiously. "You two will figure out more if you go together."

"Lily," he said again; jerking his head to gesture at Remus' naked form.

"I will be fine, James." She said; her green eyes flashing dangerously.

"Come on James," Sirius muttered, moving towards the door. "Let's go."

Reluctantly and without taking his eyes from Remus and Lily, he backed out of the flat. Sirius shut the door behind them

"Come on Remus," Lily said; gently taking Remus' head in her hands and raising it from her lap. He held it up himself and closed his eyes in the grief.

"It was my fault…" he murmured, looking down. "If I had told her, she wouldn't have come…"

"Shh," Lily said as she stood and walked around to the back of Remus. She slipped her arms under his and lifted. He didn't budge. Lily groaned. "You have to help a little, Remus. Let's get you cleaned up, come on."

Too exhausted to argue, Remus slowly pushed himself up and with Lily's help he was soon standing. The robe fell off of his legs unnoticed. He leaned on her as they shuffled into the bathroom. Lily set him down on the toilet as she plugged up the bathtub and immediately filled it with hot water.

"Alright," she said softly; turning to face Remus. She helped him stand and eased him into the bathtub.

The hot water seemed to calm him and he immediately let out a huge breath when he was immersed in it. Lily took a washcloth from a shelf above the toilet and gently washed the scratches on Remus' shoulders.

"I killed her," he whispered. "It was me."

The tears had stopped. It was just pure sorrowful guilt that covered Remus' face.

"You didn't kill her Remus," Lily whispered; rubbing his back with the washcloth and letting the water run down his slight back. "None of this is your fault."

"I couldn't save her," he said, looking off into space. "I couldn't protect her."

"That doesn't make it your fault," she was now making circles with the washcloth on his chest. "Shh.."

Remus' head dropped and Lily saw tears falling again. She, maternally, placed a hand on his head and cooed softly. She continued to rub his back with the washcloth; watching as the water around him took on a reddish color. A few of his injuries were still bleeding and Lily murmured various healing charms over him.

She let him cry for a long time. It was the only thing to make the grief go away. Then she placed a hand under his chin and raised his head.

"It wasn't you fault," she said quietly; looking him straight in the eye.

"Yes it was," he said, the tears still falling. "She died because I'm a monster."

Lily's eyes flashed. "You are NOT a monster, Remus," she said firmly. "You are not a monster and none of this is your fault."

Remus' body shook as the sobs grew more violent.

"Shh…" Lily whispered; calming him with a hand on his shoulder. With the other, she washed his face; removing the smeared blood from his scratches and the salty tears that stung as they fell down his injured face. He looked into her kind green eyes and exhaled. He was coming back to his senses now.

"Thank you Lily," he whispered.

She just smiled. "How about some food?" she asked. "You must be starving."

"Why are you doing this?" he asked.

Her hand stopped moving on his cheek. "Because I care about you Remus. You're important to me." She stood. "Can you make it out to the kitchen when you're done?" she asked, pulling a towel from a shelf and placing it on the toilet. "Do you want me to stay?"

He shook his head without looking up. "I'll be alright."

"Alright," she smiled at him. "I'll get you some clothes."

Suddenly Remus turned bright red and struggled to hide himself. "I've been starkers this whole time…"

Lily chuckled lightly. "I'm a trainee healer, Remus. I deal with naked men all the time. Don't worry about it."

"James…"

"We're not exactly shagging, are we?" she asked with a cheeky smile. "I'll be right back."

She walked out of the bathroom and into Sirius' bedroom. When she accidentally kicked the coffee table, she couldn't stop the torrent of tears that fell down her face for Gwen. She allowed herself to cry for a few minutes, but pulled herself together for Remus. Wiping away the remnants of her grief, Lily grabbed a shirt, some trousers, and a pair of underpants.

She entered the bathroom again. Remus was staring mindlessly at the same spot on the tile, deep in thought. Silently, she placed the clean clothes next to the sink and left the room.

Sirius and James returned a few hours later, after Lily had fed Remus and given him a sleeping potion. He was now peacefully asleep in Sirius' bed.

She was making herself busy by scrubbing at a bloodstain on the floor when James and Sirius walked in; looking grief-stricken. She stood and walked over to them. James kissed her on the cheek and pulled her into a tight embrace; his face tightening in anger and fear.

"How is he?" he asked urgently.

"Asleep," she said. "I gave him a potion. He'll be out for awhile. What happened?"

"We found her," Sirius said quietly and looking at his feet. "She was under a bush a few store fronts down."

"Oh Merlin," Lily gasped; falling harder into James' chest. He clutched her to him as close as possible; letting his head fall on top of hers. Lily snuggled in as he kissed her head. Sirius slumped against the wall.

"So…it was…Avada Kedavra?" she whispered.

James nodded against her.

"Definitely," Sirius said. "We owled her parents. They came…" he struggled for breath. "Gods, it was awful."

"Why would they just kill her like that?" Lily asked. "She wasn't exactly a threat."

Sirius exhaled loudly and clenched his eyes shut. "They're after me. The blood-traitor," he laughed mirthlessly. "We should have moved after the Julia Connors thing. They've probably been planning something since then. Gwen was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Everyone was silent for a few minutes.

"Do you have any idea who it was?" Lily asked as she released herself from James' embrace. Their hands fell together and closed around each other tightly.

Both of them shook their heads.

"If they're after me," Sirius started. "It's probably Bellatrix or Regulus. Probably Regulus." He looked down with a sort of shame.

Lily let go of James' hand and embraced Sirius tightly.

"I'll bet you're both starving," she said quietly as she released him. She started walking towards the kitchen. "There's tons of food in there. I got a little excited, you see." She looked at the floor. "It kept me from crying." She felt the tears welling up again and looked up again with wet eyes. "See," she chuckled. "I guess I should have cooked more."

James rushed up to her side, tears in his eyes, and kissed her gently on the cheek. She smiled.

"Go on," she gestured with her hand. "I'm going to keep cleaning in here. Remus will feel guilty about this too if I don't."

James nodded and Sirius followed him into the kitchen. Lily walked back over to the spot she was scrubbing before they came in. She kneeled again and began cleaning. After a few seconds, she stopped. Biting her lip, she looked up and out the window. Immediately she felt the tears prickling, but she bit them back and began to scrub more furiously.


	42. Chapter 42

Three days after Gwen's death, Sirius and Remus left the apartment in Diagon Alley. Abigail Potter offered them a place in the mansion in Godric's Hollow. Remus was a bit apprehensive about the arrangement, but accepted after Lily promised to help him find a place of his own. Sirius, on the other hand, was ecstatic to return to the place where he had spent so many holidays during his school years. He promised to look for a new flat of his own, but no one was holding their breath, nor did Abagail or James care how long Sirius stayed.

The next few weeks were bittersweet for Sirius. The guilt he felt for Gwen's death and Remus' guilt weighed heavily on him. It was impossible not to notice the marked change in Remus. Though never exactly chatty, Remus had been almost mute since they moved into the mansion. He had mastered the art of the one word answer and spent the vast majority of time in his bedroom: no doubt reliving the guilt of Gwen's death and also the new guilt caused by living off of his friends' generosity.

But while Sirius noticed all of this, he had also found a new perspective since Gwen's death. His life wasn't nearly as bad as he had imagined it to be. There were far worse things that could happen to him. In all reality, he was damned lucky. In short, Sirius became a little more grateful for what he had. And suddenly the pain Dorcas had caused him didn't seem quite that bad. He still missed her like hell, but he understood that he just had to move on. He would forget her eventually.

In the weeks before James and Lily's wedding, Sirius and James acted as if they were back in school. Despite Lily's constant eye rolling, the two spent most of their time as Padfoot and Prongs. They teased the muggle girls of the nearby village. Well, it would be more accurate to say that James teased the girls. Sirius did a bit more than tease them. The wounded dog bit never failed. Marking each tree in their memories, the pair of them spent hours in the woods near the Potter's property. It was exactly what Sirius needed to push Dorcas further from his mind.

When James' stag party finally arrived, Sirius had, to James' great shock, hired three buxom strippers. He and Remus left the room with Frank Longbottom and Edgar Bones while Sirius and Elphias Doge reveled in their hip thrusts and bouncing breasts and a red-faced Peter snuck embarrassed glances at the girls.

"Getting married in the morning," Sirius elbowed James as they began to walk up the stairs towards their bedrooms. He was, as everyone had expected, rather drunk.

James smiled at his best friend. While not as inebriated as Sirius, James had an alcohol-induced grin covering his face. He nodded vigorously and laughed. "I hope I don't have a bloody hangover."

"Should have thought of that," Sirius laughed; pointing a wobbly finger at his friend. "You're s'posed to look good tommorow."

"Y'think Remus is still up?" James asked, his eyes drooping.

Sirius shrugged. Still depressed as anyone had ever seen him, Remus had opted out of James' last night of bachelorhood. He was only coming to the wedding tomorrow because it was in the Potter's garden and Lily had begged him. "What time is it?"

James squinted at his wristwatch. "I don't know. Can't read the blasted thing." He found this hilarious and began to laugh hysterically; falling against the banister and loosing his footing on the stairs. He almost fell backward, but caught himself suddenly. That was Sirius' cue to burst into loud bark-like laughter. The two drunk friends sat in the middle of the stairs laughing uncontrollably until a light on the second floor caused them to look up. Remus had emerged from his bedroom. He was still fully dressed which, of course, meant he hadn't gone to bed yet. There were great dark circles under his eyes and he was paler than ever. It didn't help that the next full moon was just three days away.

"Go to bed," he said quietly, not looking at either of his friends.

Sirius grabbed the banister awkwardly and pulled himself up, almost falling over in the process. "D'ya know what time it is, Moony?"

"Almost three," he said shortly.

"Alright there, Moony?" James asked. He seemed to have lost control of his head and it hung forward oddly.

Remus shrugged and walked back into his room. James and Sirius watched him for a second before Sirius clapped a hand on James' shoulder.

"Getting married in the morning," James slurred. "Bed." He aimed himself to his door and shuffled across the hall.

Sirius stood at the top of the stairs for a few seconds; trying to get his bearings. "Bugger," he said suddenly. "You are getting married."

* * *

Lily Evans was a very smart woman. Knowing that Sirius would keep James out until all hours, she had scheduled the wedding to take place at four in the afternoon – late enough for the hangovers to have subsided a bit. That morning, however, she hated herself for that bit of planning. All she wanted to do was get married right then. She had spent the entire night before in that strange limbo between being awake and sleeping. She imagined every possible detail countless times. She saw James' eyes burning with excitement, his face alternating between huge grins and suggestive smirks. Lily groaned when she imagined what Sirius would say in his best man's toast.

She finally got up at five am and made herself a cup of tea. Sitting at her kitchen table and clutching the cup to her chest, she took several deep breaths as the reality hit her again. This time tomorrow she would be Lily Potter.

James took a deep breath as he surveyed himself in the full length mirror in his childhood bedroom. He was wearing a set of midnight blue robes that his mother had given him the night before. Taking a deep breath, he bit his lip and straightened his glasses. The afternoon had come and, thanks to Gringy's extensive knowledge of hangover remedies, both Sirius and James were at full capacity.

Sirius was posed arrogantly on the bed and miraculously, his deep scarlet robes were not wrinkling. "Look at Prongs," he whistled. "What a bloody gorgeous man."

James turned to his friend and looked at his desk for something to throw at him. There was nothing there. Everything was packed and ready to move into Lily's flat. James furrowed his brow and little and then smiled. "I do have to look halfway normal standing next to her."

"Too bad your hair is rather awful," Sirius said coolly; running a hand through his own perfect hair.

In a pleased defiance, James smirked and messed up the back of his hair so that the back stuck up. Sirius laughed. James smiled slightly and then his eyes took on a strange sort of glow.

"This is some sort of a dream, isn't it?" he asked, scratching his head and sitting in the chair next to his desk. "I'm not actually marrying her, am I?"

Sirius smirked. "I'm pretty sure you are mate."

"How'd I get so damned lucky?"

Sirius shrugged. "Merlin knows you don't deserve her."

James shot him a look. "You're supposed to be my best man."

"Well, you don't," he laughed; holding himself up with his right arm.

James looked at the floor, shaking his head. "I know."

"This is probably your best prank yet, Prongs," Sirius chuckled. "Tricking Lily Evans into marrying you."

James laughed. After a few seconds, he stopped and glanced out the window to the ceremony site that was now set up. His eyes rested on the raised circular platform at the center of the lawn where he and Lily would stand during the ceremony. His face broke into a lop-sided smile.

"God, I love her," he murmured.

"Well then," Sirius smirked. "What are you loafing around here for."

* * *

Lily took a huge breath as she stepped into the Potter's garden. The bleak November sunlight had begun to fade and lit the scene softly; creating a warm glow. The trees in the garden had changed colors and begun to drop their leaves. Reds, oranges, and yellows increased the feeling of heat that Lily felt through her entire body. A circle of guests had formed around a large wooden platform, but Lily could still see James and Sirius standing on the platform; watching her.

Her eyes locked with James. She was sure that he had never looked more handsome. His midnight blue robes hanging off of his body perfectly, his hair as messy as usual. When she saw the way he was watching her with a mixture of desire, affection, and happiness, she knew that she was the luckiest woman in the world. She was about to become one with this man. Their spirits would be connected forever.

* * *

James had been waiting for Lily for what felt like ages. He kept glancing nervously at Sirius, who would put a hand on his shoulder and smile. He scanned the crowd; noticing certain people. Dumbledore's light blue eyes were twinkling. Owen and Annabelle Towler stood near the front; Annabelle holding a plump, smiling baby. James smiled at his mother; who had already burst into tears. Remus and Peter stood next to her. Remus was trying his darnedest to look happy, but he wasn't succeeding very well. Peter wore a rather large grin. Marlene McKinnon and Caradoc Dearborn smiled broadly at him and Hagrid winked at him. It was a very small gathering: only order members, a few friends, and James' mother. He realized that there was no one here from Lily's childhood. She really had given up her own life to become part of his. He couldn't believe how lucky he was.

Then he saw her and his heart stopped. She was wearing deep green robes and her wavy red hair hung down past her shoulders. Her emerald eyes caught his immediately and he felt his heart begin to beat again. Suddenly the nerves all disappeared. When he saw her smile back at him, he knew without a doubt that this would be the greatest day of his life. Marrying Lily Evans would be the smartest thing James Potter ever did.

When she stepped into the circle of guests, Lily immediately took James' outstretched hands and grinned at him. "I love you," she mouthed.

"I love you too," he whispered back.

Sirius stepped forward. As best man, he served as a sort of master of ceremonies. "Do the two of you both enter this circle because you wish to be forever linked with one another?"

"Yes," Lily and James said in unison; staring at each other.

"Alright then," Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Who wants to give the first gift?"

Abagail Potter stepped forward. "I give my son and his new wife the courage to love each other through everything."

"I give James and Lily the gift of understanding," said Sturgis Podmore.

Frank and Alice Longbottom forced their way to the front of the crowd. "We offer James and Lily deep friendship."

Sirius took the next opportunity to offer Lily and James "pleasures of the flesh." Lily glared at him and he chuckled.

Remus stepped forward slowly. "I give you the ability to protect each other in times of danger." He said this quietly and looking sadly at Lily. Then he stepped back. Lily smiled sweetly at Remus and closed her eyes in thanks and the emotional impact of everything that had happened.

"I offer you the gift of exceptional children," Dumbledore said; smirking slightly.

The gifts continued for awhile until every guest had offered James and Lily some sort of virtue or ability that would help make their live together a happy one. Finally the time had come for the charm to be placed on the couple. Lily remembered her sister's wedding when James had shown her how this part went. She remembered the rumbling in her stomach when she had stared deeply into his hazel eyes as he taught her 'Toujourium Amortio." As she placed her hands on top of his and their eyes locked, she felt a similar wave of emotion run through her body. But it was different this time, much more complicated and much more intense. As his warm, strong fingers curled around her wrists, she felt the tears prickling behind her eyes. She could see by the tension in his jaw that he felt the same things. His eyes glistened behind his glasses and Lily felt the hot liquid fill her own. She was tempted to blink the tears away; but didn't dare let James' hazel gaze out of her sight for a second. Her hands pressed harder against his and then they heard it.

"Toujourium Amortio," the two words seemed to be the only noise in the world for ages. Lily and James both felt a warmth run through their bodies as their hands began to intertwine. They were married.

James smiled happily and brought Lily's hand to his lips and kissed the back of it, smiling lovingly at her as the circle of guests around them burst into applause and tears. She cupped his face with that hand and stepped closer to him; leaning in and placing her lips on top of his. He wrapped his arms around her; pressing her shoulder blades so that she was as close as possible. When they separated, both had tears running down their faces. James struggled to rid himself of them; rubbing roughly at his face. Lily smiled through the tears as she clutched James' hand tightly and kissed him on the cheek. Then she wiped the liquid from his face and beamed at him. He glowed back and gently shook his head as he fell into her eyes.

"Congratulations," Sirius grinned at the couple and walked up to clap James on the shoulder.

"Hold it," Hagrid's large hands were fumbling with a camera. "Let me take a picture."

Sirius laughed and Lily slipped into James arms as the flash went off.


	43. Chapter 43

Lily and James celebrated late into the night with their guests. Sirius was in top partying form; drinking and dancing as happily as ever. He remarked countless times on the small number of attractive single girls at the wedding but still found himself rather hot and heavy with a smiling Emmeline Vance. Remus went to bed early after the ceremony, apologizing to Lily profusely. She nodded and hugged him tightly. James had arranged for Aphrodite Jones to come perform at the reception and he and Lily spent the night in each other's arms. Despite James' tendency towards rather violent dancing, Lily adored every moment of the party. She indulged Sirius' need to demonstrate for James exactly how to steer her around the floor. James laughed for a few minutes as Sirius spun Lily in an overly aristocratic way, but soon was eager to have his wife back in his own arms.

"Good luck," Sirius had winked at the couple as he went to find Emmeline again. James smiled as he wrapped an arm around Lily's waist. "I'm not that bad, am I?"

Lily just laughed. He frowned, but was soon throwing her about again.

"When James asked me to be his best man, I immediately began to think of all the embarrassing stories I could tell about him," Sirius stood next to a beaming James and Lily who were seated with his arm wrapped tightly around her shoulders. Sirius smiled at his friends. "All the things that he used to scream out in the middle of the night while we were at school, the horribly disgusting positions I would find him in each morning."

James narrowed his eyes at Sirius. Sirius smirked and then chuckled.

"But, prat that he is, James managed to turn all of those embarrassing stories into stupidly romantic incidents because every single time I caught him in a compromising position, he was off in some make believe land with Lily." He laughed as he saw James blush slightly and place a hand on his forehead. Lily rolled her eyes and smiled. "As long as I can remember, James has been madly in love with this woman. Lily, of course, was always a smart one and would never give him the time of day. Something happened though. I think Lily was hit by some sort of hex." Lily shook her head slightly as she laughed. "Whatever it was, though, I am eternally grateful that I no longer have to listen to James prattle away about how Evans hates him. I don't think I could have handled it much longer." He smirked at James, who ran a hand through his hair. "But, being serious," he winked at his own joke. Groans were heard through the crowd. "James has been the greatest friend and I am ecstatic to see him so nauseatingly in love. He's one lucky man to have Lily at his side, but he deserves it. I think we all know that James and Lily will have a happy life together and all that rot." Then raising his glass, he added. "And let's all hope that the kids look like Lily."

He smirked at James after he sat down.

"You do know the kids are going to look like me," James smirked back.

"Poor kids," Sirius shrugged. Then he laughed and clapped his friend on the back.

After cutting the huge chocolate cake, more dancing, and a rather inappropriate pinch from Elphias Doge; it was time for Lily and James to head off to their honeymoon in Italy. They mounted one of James' many broomsticks; Lily in front and James wrapping his arms around his wife from behind. He placed his head over her left shoulder and pushed hard off the ground. They arose quickly into the starlit night. Lily smiled as she felt the air rush past her and James' strong arms squeezed her tighter. She turned her head and kissed him firmly on the cheek. He glanced over and smiled at her quickly; making sure to keep his concentration on flying the broomstick. It probably would have been more convenient and quicker to apparate from the wedding, but the broomstick bit was so romantic and, being James Potter, he couldn't resist a big finish.

They soared over the house, the guests turning into little specks on the ground. Lily sighed loudly.

"We're married," she said suddenly.

James grinned. "I know."

Lily's face broke into a grin and she leaned back into James' chest as he steered the broomstick through the dark sky.

James landed the broomstick smoothly in front of the yellowed stucco house with the faded terra cotta roof just as day was breaking. The sun was just coming up behind the house; a red glow over the entire landscape. Lily stepped off of the broomstick and took in the sight of the olive trees, grape vines, and rolling hills. She turned to James, smiled, and reached up to run a hand through his hair.

"The flight must have mussed it," she laughed. Their eyes met and together the reality of what had just happened hit them. James gave her a lop-sided grin and ran his own hand through his hair; mussing it further.

"Just wait," he smirked. "I imagine it'll get much more mussed."

Lily raised her eyebrows at him. "What are you suggesting, Mr. Potter?"

"What do you think?" he grinned. "Mrs. Potter."

Lily's eyes lit up when he called her by that name. She smiled hugely as James lifted her easily. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he carried her through the sun-bleached wood door and crossed the large windowed living room straight to the staircase.

Lily laughed as he mounted the stairs. "A little eager, are we?"

"Well," he smiled suggestively. "We're technically not married until we consummate it."

She kissed him on the lips. James started climbing faster.

"Well, we'd better hurry then," she whispered in his ear before kissing his neck hungrily. His grip on her grew tighter and moans began escaping from him. James thanked Merlin that the villa was small and the bedroom door was right at the top of the stairs. He pushed it open, carried Lily through the door, and kicked the door shut. Lily continued to kiss him as he laid her gently on the large maple bed covered in white linen. He climbed on top of her and she pulled his head down to her own. Their kisses were tender, slow as their hands explored each other's familiar bodies. James fiddled with the clasp on Lily's wedding robes. Her hands left his back to help him release it and then moved to help him out of his own clothing. She smoothed them over his shoulders when he had wriggled out of his robes; admiring her new husband's lanky frame. He smiled at her as he rolled over and helped her out of her robes. She threw them off of the bed and they landed in a silken emerald pile next to James'. He flipped her over on to her back, placed his glasses on the table next to the bed, and began to kiss every inch of her body. He lingered in the thatch between her legs and Lily gasped loudly; her eyes fluttering. She held on to his dark head; intertwining her fingers in his hair.

"James," she moaned. He slid his hands up to her chest and cupped her breasts, kissing his way back up to her face. He gave her a heart-breaking smile and she placed her hands on his chest; urging him to flip over. He obliged and she proceeded to copy his previous movements; tasting every part of her new husband's skin. Her fiery hair contrasted with James' pale skin; tickling him as it spread out across his body. He tangled his hands through it as pleasure filled his body.

A great groan echoed through the room as Lily placed her hands on James' shoulders and looked at him with huge emerald eyes.

"Oh Lily," he whispered; their breathing synchronizing as he pulled her towards him and caught her lips in his own; running his tongue across her bottom lip and then plunging it into her mouth and exploring each corner of it.

Suddenly, James let a moan and, with his arms around her waist, he rolled Lily over so that he was poised over her. Looking at her with a mixture of passion and complete awe, he thrust into her. She gasped and then, as they rhythmically moved their hips together, both of them gasped loudly and raggedly; experiencing their love for one another fully. Their minds were lost in the warmth of it all; their unity dominating their consciousness. She pulled him as close to her as possible and he dropped his head to kiss her furiously. Moaning loudly into each other's mouths, they moved apart and together hard and fast. Lily's breath came in quick spurts as she began to scream James' name over and over. Her pleasure only intensified his and soon he joined in the screaming. They clung desperately to each other; undulating in the world they had entered together.

As the waves of heat began to subside, James slid gently off of her and lay next to his new wife. She was flushed; her eyes softly shut, her scarlet hair fanned out over the white linen pillowcase, and her breasts rising and falling next to him. He had never seen anything more beautiful in his life. His own breathing began to slow and he kissed Lily gently on the cheek. She smiled; her eyes still shut.

"We get to do that every night for the rest of our lives," she said breathlessly.

James chuckled and continued to watch her come down from the high he had brought her to. She turned her head and her face was soft as she saw the light in James' eyes. She kissed him gently.

"I must be the luckiest bloke on earth," he whispered; his eyes taking in all of Lily.

"You have no idea," she smirked and climbed on top of him.

* * *

Sirius had gone to Emmeline's after the wedding. It was the first time he really enjoyed himself since Dorcas. The entire encounter reminded him of the way he was before she walked into his life. Feeling like himself again, Sirius left immediately, claiming an early meeting at the station the next morning. He kissed Emmeline on the cheek amicably as he prepared to apparate. She smiled at him a little sadly as she waved goodbye.

In a few seconds, he was back in his room at the Potter's. He changed out of his scarlet robes and into his pajama bottoms quickly. Sirius sat up for a little while; smiling at the thought of his best friend as a husband. Finally, as the stars began to fade, he stood up, stretched, yawned and climbed into bed. He lay on his back; his limbs thrown out recklessly around him. After a few minutes, he fell into a contented sleep.

* * *

When Sirius woke a few hours later, he felt something warm pressed up against the length of his body and a weight on his chest. It bloody terrified him. What the hell was going on?

Careful not to move too much, he glanced down. What he saw caused him to immediately sit up and scramble to the side of the bed, kicking the sheets and blankets off of him wildly. The dark-haired figure caught herself as Sirius slid out from under her and rolled up to sit on her knees facing him.

"What are you doing here?" he whispered; his face betraying his absolute shock.

She shook her head, looked down, and then shrugged. "I don't know," she said quietly.

"You don't know?" his face contorted. "How could you not know?

The girl was too lost in Sirius' eyes to answer. Her lips parted as she read them.

"You can't just show up like this," the tone of his voice was somewhere between anger and passion. His eyes flickered to that delicious mouth. "Where have you been?"

"Sirius," she said; reaching a hand out to touch his shoulder and breathing heavily.

He froze, glancing at the slender hand and unsure whether he should push it off of him or if he should grab it and cover it with kisses. The miniscule contact was enough to send electricity through his body and his breath became audible. He searched her burning dark eyes as she leaned forward off of her knees. It had been months but he knew exactly what the expression on her face meant. She was shaking with need. For a split second, Sirius was torn. She couldn't just pop up like this and expect….

Then suddenly, that energy pumping through his body told him it didn't matter. Nothing made him feel better than this. He had gone without for far too long.

Sirius grabbed her by the waist and pulled her hard to his naked chest. Their lips collided and he let her plunge her tongue inside of his mouth and sweep it passionately across his teeth, his pallet, his tongue. God, it felt good. Her frenzy made him more frantic and groaning into her mouth, he flipped her over onto her back in the middle of the bed. Sirius heard the familiar pants and whimpers as he began to kiss, bite, lick down her neck to the collar of her tee-shirt. An unquenchable fury boiled in his blood and he ripped the shirt down the middle; revealing heaving breasts encased in a black lace bra.

"Sirius," she gasped loudly; half in fear and half in appreciation.

A growl came from the back of his throat when he saw the obstacle. Meanwhile, she had sat up and latched on to his neck, worshipping it as furiously as he had; hands lost in his silky black hair. Sirius moaned loudly as she nipped at the tender skin between his jaw and his ear and tried to flip him over; using a bent leg as leverage. He pushed her roughly back to the bed and let his hips pin hers; desperate to show his dominance. He was going to show her just how much he had missed her whether she liked it or not. She would never leave him again. Her nostrils were flared as she took sharp breaths; her heavy eyes ravaging his and her tongue flickering around her lips. Ripping the straps off of her shoulders, he pushed her bra down around her waist and grabbed hungrily at her breasts. Her back arched as she pushed her chest into his lips and ragged moans of need, pleasure, and pain escaped. He covered her in vicious kisses, but suddenly stopped when he felt a hand in between his legs. Long slender fingers closed around him and he grunted; his eyes shutting at the pressure. She easily rolled him on to his back and straddled him. She tore her ruined shirt off all the way and unhooked her bra, throwing it off of the bed. Sirius' breathing quickened as she slid off his bottoms and their eyes locked in a challenging stare. Staring at him the entire time with raised eyebrows, she slid down his body; letting her hands trail across his skin. He shivered at the soft touch. When her full lips formed a circle around him, Sirius' head flew back in pleasure. His large hands raked through her long dark hair, balling it up in his fists, and he groaned as she continued to pleasure him mercilessly. She climbed back on to his chest before he had finished and smirked rather evilly at him. His eyes narrowed and his teeth grinded as her thighs rubbed against him. Violently, he pulled her head down to his and devoured her mouth. A gravely noise came from the back of her throat and Sirius felt his body tighten.

Eager to get back at her for her little stunt, he pushed her over on to her back again and roughly unbuttoned her jeans; pushing them down along with her knickers as she lifted her hips. As he nipped his way down her body, he watched her aroused face as she smiled slightly at him and then bit her lip. His hands gripping her arse tightly; he shook the hair from his face and buried it deep in her dark curls. She bucked wildly; twisting her fingers in his hair and ramming his head into her pelvis while she struggled for breath. But as the gasps rose in pitch and began to turn to screams, he stopped and pulled himself back on top of her, one hand still clutching fervently to the underside of her arse. She glared at him; her pupils dilated and her lips swollen. Sirius licked his lips and smirked as he felt an intense, primitive ache fill his body. He needed to be inside of her now. With a primal roar, he pushed in and began to thrust wildly. Roaring back, she wrapped her arms and legs around him tightly and managed to roll the two connected bodies over. His fingers left harsh red marks on the small of her back as she gripped his shoulders and began to move on top of him. Sirius watched her face contort with pleasure: the way her open mouth trembled, the way her wild hair caressed her skin, that deep wrinkle between her eyebrows. Just that familiar sight was enough to fill him in a way he had forgotten was possible. They both screamed loudly as he exploded inside of her and she collapsed hard on top of his lips.

Her head found its way to his shoulder and they stayed there for awhile; his hands resting on the curve of her arse and both of them breathing raggedly. Sirius' mind came back to him and wild thoughts of what had just happened flew through. He grinned absent-mindedly; feeling truly satisfied for the first time in months.

When their breathing had slowed, she rolled off of him and lay on her side, resting her head on his chest. Her dark hair covered him like a blanket and he ran his fingers through the tangles. She placed a palm on him and then kissed his sternum; letting her lips linger for a few seconds. He smiled slightly, looking down at her and wrapped an arm around her naked back. His hand rested on her shoulder and he felt a sticky, warm substance. She tensed up as he ran his fingers over the cut.

"What happened?" he whispered.

She didn't answer, but instead took his hand tightly in hers and moved it down to the curve of her waist. Their fingers intertwined as Sirius saw her other hand sneak up to her eyes and felt a few warm drops of liquid fall on his chest. He wrapped his other arm around her and held her to him tightly. After a few minutes of heaving and shaking, she was still and soon after that, they were both asleep.


	44. Chapter 44

Remus was the only one up when the owl arrived. He was always awake now. Sleep brought nightmares, replays of the horror he had watched from that damned apartment in Diagon Alley. Gwen's body collapsed over and over in his mind; her golden hair lit harshly by that green light as it flew up behind her. He'd rather just stay awake.

The rapping on his window caused Remus to look up from the red armchair he was slumped in. He stood reluctantly and let the owl in. It flew to the unmade bed, dropped the paper, and strutted impatiently as Remus dug out the money to pay him. He unceremoniously threw the money onto the bed from his place at the large desk in the corner of the room. The owl clucked at him angrily, but picked up the coins in his beak and flew off. Remus looked at the paper sitting on his bed. He really didn't want to read it. He walked over to the bed to pick up the paper and take it downstairs for Abigail. It had fallen open, the front page visible. Remus couldn't help but see the headline.

_High-Ranking Minstry Officials and Entire Family Killed_

His jaw dropped open as he read the beginning of the article:

_Basil and Oriel Meadowes, two powerful officials in the Department of International Magical Cooperation and strong allies of department head Lester Lawrence, were killed late last night along with their son, Milton; daughter-in-law, Urania; and grandson, Wirt. Their younger daughter's whereabouts are unknown. It is possible that Dorcas Meadowes, an intern at the ministry, escaped the attack but authorities have advised friends and loved ones not to hold out much hope. The dark mark was discovered over the Meadowes' home by neighbor and close family friend, Gideon Prewett. He is resolved to finding the last member of the family. "I know Dorcas is alive. I will not give up until I find her," he remarked._

Remus saw that the rest of the article examined all of the possible motives for killing the Meadoweses: their political decisions, Milton's prominence as a Quidditch player. There were a few more quotes from Prewett. Remus didn't need to read it. He burst out of his room and, breathlessly, ran down the hall to Sirius' room.

"Sirius," he knocked hard on the door. "Sirius, you have to read this." He continued to rap on the door until he heard a waking Sirius grumble. It sounded like he was whispering something. This was not the time for him to start talking to himself.

"SIRIUS," he boomed.

The door opened a crack and a bleary-eyed Sirius clad in pajama bottoms stuck his head out.

"What is it?" he asked in a gravely voice, rubbing his head.

Remus took a breath and held up the paper. "It's Dorcas," he said raggedly. Sirius ripped the paper from his hands; his face suddenly waking up. His gray eyes flicked through the article and grew wide with shock and a hint of comprehension. Remus noticed that he glanced over his shoulder at something. As Sirius finished up the article, Remus noticed something moving behind him. Sirius turned around completely and Remus caught his breath as he saw her walk up behind the black-haired man clad in only an old tee-shirt and knickers.

Sirius embraced Dorcas tightly as the tears began to fill her eyes. Remus was disgusted with himself, but was sure a wave of jealousy had just surged through him. Dorcas' head fell on Sirius' shoulder and he stroked her hair as her body shook with sobs and Remus walked back to his room; conflicting emotions overtaking him.

* * *

"Why didn't you just tell me, Dorcas?" he asked; kissing a tear from her cheek.

She paused, looking down at their intertwined hands with water clinging to her black lashes. "It was just that…I...didn't know how I ended up here. I was upstairs in my room and I heard them burst in and my parents and Milton and Urania screaming." She clenched her eyes shut and Sirius let go of one hand to pull her to him. She swallowed hard and kept talking. "And I knew I had to do something, I knew I had to go down and help, but when I went into the hallway, I heard them laughing." Her head fell into his chest and her breathing quickened. He smoothed her hair and wrapped his other arm around her back. "Cackling, really. Talking about what a lark it was to kill my nephew." she spat angrily and tears slipped from her eyes. Sirius scowled and muttered something about evil bastards. "And then I saw them climbing the stairs. Rosier was there. He was the first one I saw. Trouble was he saw me too." Sirius tightened his grip around her protectively as she sniffed up her tears. Her hands rested in fists against his chest. "He sneered at me just like he did that night. I was so angry that I was just about to kill him, but then some tall blond man walked up behind him and saw me too. They smiled at each other and all I could do was run. I shut myself in the bedroom and tried desperately to think of a place where I could apparate. But I couldn't clear my mind. I couldn't get a picture of anything. Then the door burst open," her voice cracked and she seemed to collapse a little. Sirius helped her to the edge of the bed where he sat next to her with his arms as tightly around her as possible. She swallowed again. "Rosier shouted a curse at me and I felt the cut across my shoulder. Somehow I managed to apparate before anyone else attacked me. I didn't know what I was doing, where I was going. I was sure I would splice myself and they would kill me. And then, I was here. And there you were." She looked up at him; trembling lips and water-filled eyes. Then, almost sadly, she whispered. "It was the best thing I've ever seen in my life."

"Dorcas," he whispered, letting a hand caress her face, wipe away her tears. She closed her eyes and more tears streamed down her face. Sirius pulled her to his chest and buried his head in her hair. He gently rocked her as she cried; pain and fear but mostly rage building up inside of him. When it seemed that she had nothing left, she sat up and smiled sadly at him, cupping his cheek in her hand and exploring his eyes.

Sirius put his own hand on top of hers and dove into her dark eyes, feeling his emotions soften. Absent mindedly, he traced her features; running a thumb across her dark eyebrows, the line between them, her cheekbones, her lips. She kissed the pad of his thumb and he let it slide down her chin and stroked her jaw line with his forefinger, his fingertips resting on the side of her neck.

"I love you," he said quietly.

Dorcas' eyes immediately filled up again, she bit her lip and looked down, shaking her head. "You weren't supposed to say that," she sobbed. "Not now."

Sirius tipped her head back up so that she looked him in the eye. "Why not?" he asked.

She clenched her eyes shut painfully and then swallowed, throwing back her head and huffing.

"In June, I thought this was done, Sirius," she sniffed, her eyes still shut. "I thought I'd never see you again. So," she took a breath and opened her eyes. "I moved on."

Sirius sat up a little straighter and as he backed away, his hand fell from under Dorcas' chin. "You moved on?" The anger was invading his voice, "you mean there's someone else?"

Reluctantly, she nodded.

"Well, just drop him then."

Dorcas laughed mirthlessly and looked at him. "It's not that simple, Sirius. He's not Cade Bradley. This isn't some stupid thing. What I have with him is real, it's really good."

Sirius' fists clenched tightly and he growled slightly. He felt an intense pain in his chest and had difficulty breathing. "Who is he?" he demanded.

"You can't go fight with him, Sirius," she was sitting in a pose of feigned confidence. "I get to make the decision."

"And you're picking him?" Sirius spat angrily, his breathing sharp.

Dorcas sighed. "You have to understand, I care about him. He deserves…"

"Oh I understand Dorcas," Sirius shot up and began to pace the bedroom, occasionally turning to glare at her with vicious eyes. "All I've ever been to you is a crutch, a way out of whatever grief you happen to be feeling at the moment. You've used me from the beginning. I was just a good fuck. You never actually cared a jot for me, did you?"

She cried out with exasperation; her fists clenching and her nostrils flaring. "I loved you more than anything in the world, Sirius," she screamed back. "But you, you were a big fat bastard. Throwing that "I love you" at me the way you did. You broke my heart. I thought I would never be able to get over you. I waited for three months for you to owl me, find me, send me a smoke signal, ANYTHING! And he was there, waiting for me to get over you, waiting patiently while telling me how amazing I was and how I deserved someone who cared." She stood angrily and walked right up to a shocked Sirius. She yelled the last part in his face; her eyes flashing with rage and unwept tears. "And I woke up one day and I realized he was right. I deserve someone who thinks of a relationship as more than just another one of his many exploits. Someone who actually gives a fuck what happens to it. Especially now, I can't be with someone who hasn't thought about where the hell this thing will go. I can't be with someone who makes stupid, rash decisions and won't believe anyone who tells him they're ridiculous. It's too god-damned dangerous, Sirius."

Sirius' nostrils flared and he gritted his teeth. He tried to ignore that sharp pain in his chest as it built up. His gray eyes were dark and stormy as his breathing quickened and his body tightened. "Then why did you come here last night?"

"I told you, Sirius," she spat back. "I have no idea how I ended up here."

"Don't you think that proves that you care just a bit about me?" he threw his arms out violently.

Dorcas took a breath; pulling herself up to her full height. "I never said I didn't still love you, Sirius," she said quietly. Then she shook her head and violently pushed her hair out of her face. "But things with you are just….they're always so hard."

Sirius' jaw dropped and his eyes fell to the floor. He froze for a second. "So you'd rather be with someone who makes things easy?"

She paused, her mouth open, and then looked down at her feet. "I guess I would."

"Fine," he scoffed, storming back to the bed and waving an arm. "Go, he's probably worried shitless about you."

"Sirius," there were tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry. I wish…"

"Just get out, Dorcas," he said quietly, collapsing in the place where they had just spent the night together and letting his head fall into his hands.

She took a long look at him, mouth moving silently. "I do love him," she said, almost as an afterthought.

"Dorcas," he glared at her.

She nodded and a second later, with a pop, she was gone.

* * *

James' head had shown up in the fire later on that day. Sirius told him the entire story. James seemed rather concerned and wanted to prolong the conversation, but Sirius had told him to go back to his honeymoon. He would be fine. James obliged willingly. Sirius thought maybe Lily was in the room, pressing him to come back upstairs.

Sirius spent the next week flying his motorcycle around the country in an attempt to distract himself. He slept in random pubs and met countless women. He considered what had happened with Julia Connors, but came to the conclusion that the risk was what made this exciting. The drinking started up again. He started picking fights in bars. But nothing made the pain in Sirius' soul disappear. No matter how drunk he got, how many dangerous stunts he pulled, how many strange women he brought back to his shabby rooms, he just heard Dorcas repeating "you broke my heart."

He returned to Godric's Hollow the day Lily and James were coming back from their honeymoon. He was sporting more than a few cuts and a black eye he had received from an angry wizard whose girlfriend Sirius had tried to pick up in Surrey.

Remus seemed to have picked up a bit in the time that Sirius was gone. He had a bit more color and looked more rested. For once, the transformation must have helped a little; exhausting Remus to the point of dreamless sleep. Seeing Dorcas alive like that, however, had thrown him. And when Sirius had wrapped his arms around her, Remus had felt his stomach drop. For a millisecond, Remus was sure he finally had a friend who could understand his pain. But, of course, Sirius always got lucky like that. It was typical. It burned Remus inside.

When Sirius arrived at the house, Lily and James were already there. The four of them were sitting in the living room, sipping butterbeers. Lily and James were holding hands and smiling at each other every few seconds. They all sat up abruptly when Sirius came through the door. He raised his head in acknowledgement and put his duffle bag down in the hallway. Gringy immediately popped out of nowhere and sent it up the stairs.

"Alright, Sirius?" James asked, his brow furrowed.

"Fine," Sirius shrugged; collapsing in an armchair across from Remus. The other four in the room exchanged glances and sat back down.

"Siri…" Lily started; her eyes blinking nervously.

"For Merlin's sake," he yelled. "I'm fine. I got over her before, I'll do it again."

The room was permeated by a stunned silence. Lily and James dropped hands and everyone looked sheepishly at the floor.

"Sirius," Lily said quietly after a second; twisting her hands. "How was your holiday?"

Sirius shifted angrily in his seat and pursed his lips. "Alright."

She smiled nervously at him and nodded.

Sirius was very eager to get the conversation rolling in a different direction. "Where is the Order meeting tomorrow?" he asked.

Lily and James exchanged glances and Sirius scowled.

"You're still going to come?" James asked, staring warily at his friend.

Remus leaned forward in his chair.

"Why wouldn't I come?" Sirius asked, blinking in surprise.

"Dorcas and Prewett," James shrugged sheepishly.

Sirius' lips parted and suddenly he understood. "Close family friend," he scoffed.

"You didn't know?" Lily asked in surprise.

"Obviously not," he stood and began stomping to the staircase. "Excuse me."


	45. Chapter 45

The order meeting was being held at Sturgis Podmore's home that day. Sirius, in his stubbornness, had insisted on coming despite the dramatic scenes it might cause. James and Lily had given him a ten-minute lecture about leaving Gideon Prewett alone. No one, however, expected Dorcas herself to show up.

It took James, Lily, and Remus to keep Sirius calm when the four of them entered Podmore's living room to see a stocky red-haired man with a tall brunette woman. With James tightly gripping one arm and Remus the other, Sirius observed the couple. Gideon Prewett was barely taller than Dorcas, but his sturdy, muscular frame still dwarfed her. His thick forearms were wrapped around her waist and her hands rested on the back of his neck. There was a look of contentment to Dorcas although her expression was otherwise unreadable and Prewett wore a lop-sided, smitten grin on his broad face. Dorcas' eyes flicked to the door and locked immediately with Sirius'. Unspoken words passed between them and suddenly Dorcas had to look away.

Gideon noticed the exchange, frowned a little, and turned to face the other four. He smiled at them, although the grin faded when it reached Sirius.

"How are you all?" he said in a polite voice.

James and Remus nodded awkwardly. They had dropped their grip on Sirius who was still staring daggers at Dorcas. She looked as if she was trying to come up with a good explanation.

"Alright, Gideon," Lily smiled, her eyes flickering from Prewett to Dorcas to Sirius and back again. "I see you've brought in a new member. How are you, Dorcas?"

It took Dorcas a minute to register that Lily had addressed her before she whipped her eyes away from Sirius' glare to look at the red-haired woman.

"I'm alright," she nodded slightly.

Gideon wrapped a veiny arm around Dorcas' waist and pulled her in tight. "Dorcas has been through so much in the last month. She's amazing." He smiled at her; his freckled face lighting up. She smiled back slightly; obviously a little overwhelmed by the affection Gideon was shooting at her. Her eyes flicked to the floor and her face grew hot. He pulled her even closer and kissed her on the cheek.

"Yeah," Sirius muttered. "Bloody amazing."

Dorcas' eyes shot to him and the smile vanished. Prewett glowered. James exhaled.

* * *

"A spy in the Ministry?" Peter's eyes grew wide as he looked over at James next to him. James' jaw tightened as he and Lily exchanged glances.

Moody nodded. "There has to be. Kevin Grady's whereabouts were top-secret. Only a high official in the Department would have been privy to that information." He scratched violently at a crater on his left cheek.

"Which department?" Dorcas asked; shifting in her seat and super aware of both Sirius' scowl and Gideon's arm around the back of her chair.

"Law Enforcement," he grumbled. He added in a determined voice, "I'll screen all the Aurors."

"It could be someone else, Alastor," Dumbledore said. "The Imperius curse has been a rather useful tool."

Moody shrugged. "Of course, Dumbledore."

"Dorcas," Dumbledore looked at the newest member of the order. "I know you have been through an awful ordeal and I hate to bring it up, but could you tell us who was at your parents' home that night."

Dorcas looked at her hands for a second before glancing at Sirius whose eyes had been fixed on her through the entire meeting. They were narrowed and seemed frozen in contempt. She swallowed and looked over at Dumbledore, who raised his eyebrows at the emotions flying across the room. She frowned slightly.

"Evan Rosier," she said. "I saw him for sure. He gave me the cut on my shoulder." Gideon sat up and took her hand. She smiled at him and ran the other hand through her hair. "I saw another man. A tall man with long platinum hair. I didn't recognize him."

"Tall man with platinum hair," Frank Longbottom leaned back in his chair.

"I wish I had more information," she offered, her eyes flicking back to Sirius. His lip twitched angrily and Dorcas felt her heart tighten at his cold expression. She clenched her jaw. "Is there a loo I can use?" she turned to Podmore.

Gideon squeezed her hand, his brown eyes gazing at her with love, support, and concern. She kissed him on the cheek and let go of his hand when Podmore mentioned that it was upstairs to the left. Trying to ignore the slight smiles offering her sympathy and especially Sirius' scowl, she stood. Pushing her shoulders back and her chin up defiantly against the tightness in her chest, she walked out of the room, up the stairs and into the small bathroom. She closed the door and leaned her back against it, taking huge breaths and closing her eyes. Roughly, she ran her hands over her face and hair, sighing loudly. After a few seconds; she walked to the sink, placed a hand on each side of it for balance, and surveyed herself in the mirror.

Her lips had forced themselves tight together and that stupid line she hated so much had appeared between her eyebrows. Her narrow eyes blinked as she ran a hand down her cheek and then held her chin in it.

Why was she doing this to herself? Gideon was the kind of man you settled down with. He was steady, stable, and sweet. And he cared about her. When she had gone to him after leaving Sirius, he hadn't even asked where she had been the night before. He had just held her hand and kissed her on the forehead and made her dinner and prepared a bath for her and tucked her into bed – sure to put the warming charm on her blankets so she wouldn't wake up cold. He had offered to lie next to her that night, but Dorcas had shaken her head and pulled the quilt up around her neck and he gave her one last kiss before leaving her alone. Dorcas had found him asleep outside her bedroom door in the morning. He would wait there every night if she wanted him to. The thought made her content. He was something that would be a constant. So many other things were chaotic and falling apart, especially now. Gideon could be counted on.

Sirius had held her that entire night. She had rested her head on his chest, felt his breath. It had warmed her. And the next morning, he was amazing. That was until he told her he loved her. Sure, he'd said it, but did he actually mean it? Could Sirius Black ever really love a woman the way Dorcas wanted to be loved? The way Gideon loved her? How long would it be before he fucked the whole thing up like he had before? Dorcas loved Sirius. She knew that. But she couldn't handle losing him again. She had been an unbelievable mess. And Dorcas knew that if she went back to him, it would only be a matter of time before he did something stupid or simply got bored. Gideon wouldn't get bored with her. The trouble was that Dorcas had a sneaking suspicion that she might just get bored with Gideon.

Dorcas' reverie was interrupted when the bathroom door burst open. She jumped away from the sink and saw an awfully worked-up Sirius standing in front of her. His breathing was quick and his eyes were storming with emotion.

"What are you doing here?" she sighed, not particularly surprised to see him.

"You're not really going to stay with Prewett, are you?" he fumed; stepping closer to her.

"I told you, Sirius, I…"

But Dorcas stopped when Sirius yanked her to him with a large hand on the small of her back. She caught her breath before his other hand cupped the back of her head and his electric eyes came closer. Her hands stayed plastered to her sides as she felt his wide lips press hard against hers. She moaned in protest, but he pulled her closer to silence her. Her eyes closed as the hand on her back moved downwards and she became aware of his broad chest against her. His tongue pressed against her lips as he tangled her hair. She kept them closed, but they puckered almost unconsciously against his. Dorcas felt her chest tighten even more and her fists clenched at her sides. Anger was overtaking her. But at the same time, she felt a different sort of heat running through her body. That same bloody feeling she always got when he kissed her.

When he released her, they were both breathing quickly. Their eyes locked and Dorcas knew that if he had his way, she would be up against the wall in a few minutes. The burning at the pit of her stomach was increasing by the second. Her conflicting thoughts kept her silent until Sirius smirked, wrapping his arm around her again. But before he could do anything else, Dorcas' hand made hard contact with the side of his face.

Sirius was so shocked that he didn't even bring a hand to his face. He simply dropped his grip on Dorcas.

"Dor…" he started.

"I told you," she spat, her breathing still heavy. "I'm with Gideon."

"Don't tell me you didn't feel anything," his eyes were wide with shock and finally a hand found its way to his face.

Dorcas sighed loudly. "It doesn't matter, Sirius,"

"That night…"

"…was the biggest mistake of my life," she said coldly.

She pushed past him, trying to ignore the shocked pain in his eyes. She pulled herself up as tall as possible as she walked down the stairs. With a sharp inhalation of breath through her nostrils, she willed herself not to cry and tried to ignore that part of her that was screaming to run back to Sirius.

* * *

"Would you like another biscuit?" Lily smiled at Sirius and offered him a large platter of Christmas treats. Sirius, Remus, Peter, James, Lily, and Abagail were celebrating Christmas Eve in James and Lily's London flat. Abagail, Remus, and Peter were chatting happily next to the glittering tree by the fireplace. James was standing next to his mother and occasionally adding a laugh or comment.

Sirius shook his head without looking up and took another large sip of the butterbeer in his hand. He was sitting away from the group, looking at the floor. Lily sighed and put the platter on the wooden table next to the armchair Sirius was sitting in.

"Sirius," she said quietly, sitting in the chair next to him. "Do you really want to be with someone who would do that kind of thing to you?"

His face tightened and he shrugged.

"You've been so depressed since May," Lily continued, a hand finding Sirius' shoulder. "She obviously doesn't deserve you if she pulls stunts like this."

He shrugged her off violently as James walked by.

"Let him be, Lily," he said quietly.

She looked up at him and a second later, her eyes narrowed. "Leaving him alone has sure done a whole lot of good, James. Don't you remember how he was when we got back from our honeymoon? You've been watching him drink himself into a stupor every night since then. You told me you were going to talk to him about it." She stood so she could scream a little closer to her husband's face. "You told me you were going to talk to him in September and here it is Christmas and your best friend is completely bloody comatose over this girl and you haven't said a damn word. Someone has to talk to him, James."

"Lily," he said gritting his teeth. "You don't understand…"

"WHAT DON'T I UNDERSTAND?" she bellowed. "Our friend is in pain and you've done nothing about it. What else is there to understand?"

"Did you notice the way he reacted when you tried to talk to him, Lily," he said sarcastically. "Maybe I know just a bit more about how to handle him than you."

Lily's mouth made forewarning movements and her face began to flush a deep scarlet. She grew taller and her eyes flashed dangerously. James held his breath as he readied himself for a reply that never came.

"I think I'll go so the two of you can discuss the best way to deal with me," Sirius said angrily as he stood.

"Oh no Sirius," Lily turned to him; her anger at James fading a little. "Stay, we're sorry. We're just worried…"

"No Lily," he shook his head and scowled. "I'm leaving."

"Look mate," James put a hand on Sirius' shoulder and his eyes pleaded with his friend. "Stay. Honestly, we won't talk about it anymore. Come on, it's Christmas."

Sirius sniffed angrily and ran a hand through his hair. He shook his head again.

"Sirius…"

"Happy Christmas," he said flatly and a second later, with a pop, he had disappeared.

James turned to Lily and glowered.

"What?" she spat. "That was your own fault James. If you had just talked to him…"

"Lily," he said dangerously.

"Well, it was," she was quickly returning to the angry Lily that terrified James.

"What was I supposed to do? Let him mope like that? You are so insensitive sometimes, James Potter."

He made a sort of growling noise as Lily turned on her heel and marched into the kitchen. He collapsed on the armchair Sirius had inhabited and took an angry swig of his friend's leftover butterbeer.

"Happy Christmas," his mother offered.

"Happy Christmas indeed," Remus said, sinking in his seat a little.


	46. Chapter 46

In an effort to start his life over again, again, Sirius finally went out and found himself another flat in the January of 1979. It was a new year, it was supposed to be a fresh start. Thanks to the money he was earning as co-owner of the WWN, he was able to get a larger, more luxurious place than his flat in Diagon Alley. Situated near the station in Wimbledon, the flat was in a building run by an elderly muggle woman who winked unabashedly at Sirius. Something about her reminded him of his 6th year Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Arden.

A two-bedroom flat, the place was spacious enough for Sirius to feel somewhat comfortable. A long, wide corridor with high ceilings served as the living room and doors to the two bedrooms as well as a bathroom were on the left wall. A large bay window facing north covered a large portion of the right wall. The living room opened into a large kitchen at the end opposite the door

"You know you're welcome to stay with Mum," James said as he flicked his wrist and a box hit the wooden floor a little harder than Sirius would have liked.

Frowning slightly, Sirius raised his eyebrows at James from his position at the door of the larger of the two bedrooms. "Isn't it a little weird for _me_ to be living with _your_ mother?"

"Why?" James called as Sirius ducked back into the room

Sirius sighed, and lazily sent clothes flying across the bedroom into an open dresser.

James shrugged and went back to moving around Sirius' boxes. "She's going to be really lonely now," he said, rather absent-mindedly. "Remus is leaving too and Lily and I are in the London flat permanently now."

"Maybe she should move to one of those Elder Compounds in Somerset or Devon?" Sirius suggested, calling out of the bedroom.

James looked at Sirius doubtfully through the door, pushing his glasses up further on his nose. "Can you honestly picture my mother going on planned trips to Glastonbury Abbey and Cornwall with groovy seniors named Maude and Dennis?"

Sirius stifled a laugh at the image of composed Abagail Potter on a bus full of overly chatty and hard-of-hearing wizards and witches searching for "the real Merlin" in the South-West of the country. "Fair point," Sirius shrugged. "It was just a thought."

"I don't think she wants to leave, even though the house is huge. She doesn't want to leave Gringy or her garden or her bedroom. She's been there for almost 25 years." James pondered his mother's situation as he unpacked Sirius' boxes by hand now, sitting on the new red and brown couch against the left wall and facing the huge window. "I kind of want to stay with her…"

Sirius popped his head out of the bedroom and noticing his friend's now-dejected position, took a seat next to him. "Have you mentioned it to Lily?"

James stifled a small laugh. "We aren't exactly talking. Not since Christmas."

"How does that work. You're married to her." Sirius smiled awkwardly.

Putting his head in his hands, James sighed loudly. "She's Lily. That's how it works."

"Awww, Prongs," Sirius placed a hand on his friend's back. "You guys will make up, you always do." _She doesn't run away_, he almost added.

James looked up at his friend. "Maybe she was right, though. Maybe I should have talked to you. I should have said something."

As James sat back up, Sirius lay his head down on the top of the plump couch cushions and exhaled. "Would I have listened?" he said quietly.

"No," James said simply, leaning back on the couch into a position similar to Sirius. "But I still should have said something."

"Don't worry about it, mate.

* * *

"Still not talking to James," Remus asked as he carried a box the five feet from his new front door to his new bedroom.

Lily followed close behind with another box. "No," she said firmly.

Remus put the box next to the dirty mattress that lay in the corner of the tiny room under a small, grimy window. "Plan on ever talking to him again?"

"Eventually," she shrugged.

"Glad to hear it," he laughed mirthlessly and sat down on his new bed. Looking around the dirty, one-room flat he had rented in Diagon Alley, he sighed loudly. "This place is awful."

"No," Lily shook her head, plopping down next to Remus. She looked at the rusted sink and stove on the other side of the room under another tiny, dirty window. Her eyes took in the peeling paint the color of dirt, the worn-through brown carpet, and what looked like a blood stain in the middle of the room. She lingered on the second-hand green sofa with a spring sticking out at an awkward angle. Before she knew it, her gaze had returned to the corner she was now sitting in.

"It's cozy. Nothing a little paint won't fix" she said, nodding at Remus' doubtful expression. Eventually her smile faded. "Alright," she said, looking back to the excuse for a kitchen. "It is terrible."

Remus laughed suddenly, falling back on to the mattress. "This is where I live now," he was in hysterics.

Lily giggled a little. "At least it's close to work," she said and almost immediately joined him in the laughter, collapsing on top of him. "This is the worst flat ever, Remus. Congratulations!"

They laughed together for a few minutes, rolling around on the mattress in the ridiculousness of it all. When they had finished laughing and lay on their backs, looking up at the water-damaged ceiling, Remus wrapped an arm around Lily's shoulders.

"You can come to dinner anytime you want," she said, still laughing.

"I'll bring you a book," he said flatly. "I get a 20 discount as a Flourish and Blotts employee." He laughed harshly again.

"Remus," Lily turned her head to look at him. "You'll be fantastic, I know it. No matter how pathetic you feel now, it'll all work out. Watch."

"Thanks Lily," he squeezed her shoulders and they looked back up to the ceiling. Two pairs of eyes found what looked like a crack.

"Come on," Lily said. "I'll buy you a drink."

* * *

"Despite all of our suggestions, Tiberius Ogden has insisted on going on his annual holiday to the Lakes District next week," Moody growled, scratching at a large gash on his left forearm. "So, I think it would be wise for a few of us to keep an eye on the idiot."

His small beady eyes glanced around the table in the old Prewett home. There was a view of the 15th century Dover castle out of the window Sirius was facing. He couldn't help remembering that about half a mile to his left was Dorcas' childhood home. He began to remember the Easter Holiday they had spent there, but immediately shook the thought from his head when he saw Dorcas sitting next to Gideon Prewett – the Auror who had inherited the home they were now in.

Moody continued to look around the table; no one in the Order seemed particularly enthusiastic to baby-sit the cranky Wizengamot elder.

"I'll go," Gideon finally said. "Assuming I'll be excused from work." He nodded at Moody.

Moody shrugged.

"Fabian?" Gideon turned to his twin brother on his left side.

"Of course," Two identical faces smiled broadly at each other.

"Fantastic," Moody said wearily. "Moving on, there is a really shaky lead about a Death Eater attack against Jason Cole happening sometime in the next week. After that comment he made in the Prophet, it's sort of inevitable."

"He's a valuable ally," James proclaimed; feeling a great sense of loyalty to the outspoken journalist. "We should follow that one up."

"Those were my thoughts," Moody nodded, twitching a little.

"A good number of us should go," James thought out loud, drumming his fingers on the table. "If they are going to attack, we should be ready. At least four or five of us need to check it out."

"I agree with James," Sturgis Podmore popped in, his thick blond hair falling into his face. "At least four."

"Well then," Dumbledore looked around the table from his place. "Who's volunteering?"

"Well, of course, I'm going," James said definitively. He paused before looking to Lily. He didn't say anything, just gave her a meaningful glance.

"Yes, James," she said quietly and without opening her mouth much. "I'll come."

"Sirius?"

The black-haired mannodded without much thinking, still staring at the huge medieval castle in the window. "Definitely."

"Remus?" Lily looked at the pale man next to her.

"I have to work," he said peevishly, looking at the table. "The new Gary Lotter book is coming out next week. They need everyone."

"Right…"

James looked to the fourth Marauder, who could rarely be counted on for real action. "Peter?"

Peter turned a ghastly shade of white. "I…I…I…Its my Mum's birthday, I promised I'd stay."

There was a very obvious rustling of clothing as the entire order shifted uncomfortably in their seats. James swallowed hard. "Well, we can't anger Mum now, can we?" He sighed.

"I'll come, James," Sturgis volunteered eagerly.

"Great," James smiled, nodding enthusiastically. "So, that's four. We should probably have one more, just in case."

"Why don't you come, Dorcas?" Sturgis looked at the reserved witch sitting next to him. "It'll be a good starting point for you. Not that you need help, you've had more first-hand experience with Death Eaters than I have."

Dorcas looked a little taken aback, but she quickly righted her face and, unable to say anything, nodded awkwardly. "Alright," she finally got out.

Sirius caught her eye and her lips pursed together as her glance went to the table.

"Wonderful," Dumbledore stood, suddenly breaking the tension between the ex-lovers. "I have arranged a wonderful surprise for us all today. A photographer is coming to immortalize the importance of this group. So if we could all file outside, I believe he is waiting for us."

* * *

A/N: Okay...I'm back, officially...So sorry for that RIDDICULOUSLY long hiatus. Things were definitely crazy. Plus I lost all my outlines in the process of moving so, I had to re-plan a chunkof the story. I am, however, back. The action on my story over the past two weeks was a little editing. I had a few comments about innaccuracies in the story and, so, being the worshipper of Canon I am, I felt the need to fix. Plus I flushed a little of my long dialouges out with some description. Overall, I think it was a good thing to do. The story is better now. Anyway...I know this chapter was a little slow, but stay tuned: Chap 47 will match the rest of my insanely dramatic epic tale. 


	47. Chapter 47

"You'll be careful," Gideon pleaded for the tenth time that morning, as he, Dorcas, and Fabian were sitting at the breakfast table. The twins were dressed in muggle hiking gear, knapsacks next to their chairs, as they ate the eggs, toast, and sausage that Dorcas had set in front of them before they went off to meet Ogden in Grasmere and set off on their tour of the Lakes. Dorcas was drinking her typical cup of tea and milk; leaning back on her chair and clutching her cup with both hands. She still wore her pajamas and robe and was yawning occasionally. It was barely after dawn.

"I'll be fine, Gideon." She rolled her eyes. "There are going to be four other well-qualified people with me."

"I know, sweetheart," he leaned across the table towards her. "But if you get hurt…." He stopped suddenly, shut his eyes, and turned his face from her.

Dorcas smiled slightly and put a hand on top of his. Tilting her head so she could look him in the eyes she squeezed his fingers. "I'll be fine," she whispered.

"Come on Gideon," Fabian jumped in. "Sturgis is going, and the Potters. She'll be great. Honestly we should be worried more about ourselves. The Lakes District in January? Ogden is bloody mad. We'll drown."

Dorcas laughed loudly and Gideon chuckled slightly, kissed Dorcas' hand and went back to eating his eggs, occasionally looking up at her.

A half an hour later, Dorcas waved goodbye to the brothers from the front door as they set out to the apparation point in the rain. She sighed when they were out of view; readying herself for the trip she would be taking in a few hours to Surrey and Jason Cole's home.

* * *

"Lily, have you seen my Magpies shirt?" James yelled from the bedroom of their flat.

Lily rolled her eyes, taking a long swig of tea from her place at the kitchen table as she skimmed the Daily Prophet. "No James, I have not seen your Magpies shirt," she yelled back. "Did you check the laundry?"

"Yes," came the reply.

Lily cringed as she imagined the state the bedroom was probably in now; clothes all over the floor, the bed in disarray. She silently cursed the Potters for having money and never teaching their son to clean up after himself.

"Why is it SO important James?" she yelled back; her eyes resting on a headline about the Ministry's latest foul-up. "We have to leave in an hour and if the bedroom looks the way I think it looks….."

A muffled curse was heard and Lily gritted her teeth in anger; trying to focus on the paper again. Ever since Christmas, she had been ready to strangle James, every little thing he did got on her nerves. Whoever had said the first year of marriage was the hardest must have been married to a Potter.

James came out of the bedroom; wearing nothing but a pair of pajama bottoms and scratching his head in confusion. "You're sure you haven't seen it?" he asked; frowning slightly.

"Yes," she said through her teeth; barely turning her head to say it over her shoulder.

James sighed and walked over to the kitchen. Lily felt her body tense in annoyance as he shuffled loudly across the tile floor and opened the refrigerator. Humming absent-mindedly, James rested his forearm on the bar above the door and scanned the shelves for something to eat. After what felt like ages to Lily, he pulled out a bottle of milk and, without shutting the door to the refrigerator, proceeded to take a long swig directly from the glass receptacle.

"If you drink from that bottle…." Lily threatened with narrowed eyes just as the lip of the bottle had reached James' mouth.

Immediately James dramatically pulled the bottle away from his mouth, angrily put the lid back on, and shoved it back into the refrigerator. "What's got your panties in a twist this morning?" he said sarcastically.

"Oh don't give me that, James," she spat and tried, again unsuccessfully, to concentrate on the newspaper in her hands.

Growling slightly under his breath, James plopped down in his chair across from Lily at the table. He reached for the World News page of the Prophet, which Lily had abandoned to the left side of the table.

"I'm reading that," Lily said without looking away from the front page she had in her hands.

"You are not reading the entire paper at once, Lily," he said; the paper's section still in his grasp.

Lily put the paper down on the table and glared at James across the table. "I am reading the paper right now, James," she yelled, grabbing the section in his hands.

"It's impossible to read every section of the Daily Prophet at one time, Lily," James bellowed back. "Give me the damn World News."

"NO," she pulled at the paper. "You can read the paper when I am done with it! Maybe you should go look for you bloody shirt again."

"FINE!" James dropped the paper violently and pushed his hair back; standing and huffing back off to the bedroom.

Taking a long angry sip of tea, Lily smoothed out the World News section. Then with a long, laborious breath, she went back to the front page.

* * *

Jason Cole's home was a boxy brick building with a slanted black roof and a large chimney stuck in the middle of a regular muggle neighborhood in the village of Guildford. A large lawn stretched out to the knee-high hedges that stood like eerie figures in the dark. The street lights had just been turned on when Sirius apparated to the street in front of the house. It was a clear night and the full moon was white in its brightness. Feeling the bite of the cold January wind, he pulled his scarf tighter around his neck. With a visible breath, Sirius flung his bag higher up on his shoulder and walked toward the house, afraid of what awaited him over the next three days – whether or not the Death Eaters showed up.

He opened the small gate in front of the walkway up to the house. Noticing the dormant flower beds lining the walkway, Sirius thought for a second about Jason Cole and his family. Jason and Emily Cole had gone into hiding with their young son David earlier that same day. He hoped the secret would be kept. Sirius reached the front door and knocked loudly three times.

"Who is it?" Came the muffled reply of James' voice.

"Padfoot," Sirius replied half-heartedly.

"How can I be sure?" James' voice was twinged with laughter.

Sirius sighed; he hated this part. "I read Wizard Weddings to help you find a way to propose to Lily….Let me in, James."

The door opened to a smirking James in his Montrose Magpies shirt and an old pair of jeans. "I love that part," he said cheekily.

Sirius frowned. "Is she here yet?"

James furrowed his brow. "Yeah," he nodded. "You're the last to get here. We're all set up in the living room. Come on, you've got to do it sometime," he clasped a hand on Sirius' back and steered him down a hallway. Double doors lead into a typical living room. A blue sofa faced two floral armchairs and a large fireplace dominated the wall opposite the door. Thick green curtains had been drawn over the windows that faced the street Lily was sitting in one of the armchairs, her arms and legs crossed angrily, her face stuck in a grimace. Sturgis was next to the blazing fireplace, unrolling sleeping bags. Dorcas was sitting cross-legged on the plush carpet; a book in her lap. She looked up when Sirius walked in.

"Hi Sirius," she said quietly; trying desperately to rid herself of the wrinkle between her eyebrows.

"Dorcas," he nodded, taking another breath, and sitting on the sofa.

James plopped down in the armchair nest to Lily, who immediately shifted her body away from him. He frowned. "So," he said heavily, "We should do watch in two hour shifts so we can all get enough sleep. Any volunteers for the first shift?"

"I'll do it," Dorcas said; the book still open in her lap; her eyes stuck on the curtains.

"I'll take the second shift," Lily said flatly.

"I guess I'll take the third," James said. "Sirius, you take the fourth, Sturgis the fifth. Alright?"

Both men nodded.

"Fantastic," he sighed. "I could use some sleep. We should do rounds every twenty minutes to make sure no one's bursting in on all of us while were asleep."

Standing, James moved to the sleeping bags Sturgis had set out around the fireplace. "I'm going to bed," he yawned; kneeling to pull a pair of pajama bottoms out of a blue knapsack next to one of the sleeping bags. To change he went into the adjacent kitchen. Sturgis followed suit; pulling out his own pajamas. Groaning, Sirius stood from the sofa. He walked past Dorcas, who watched him pass while biting her lip in thought. Both Lily and Dorcas remained still as the men came back out of the kitchen in their night-wear.

"Going to bed, Lily?" James asked as he climbed into one of the fluffy sleeping bags.

"Not yet, James," she said sarcastically; her angry eyes now resting on Dorcas, who had finally shut the book on her lap.

James grumbled and rolled over, "Alright then."

Lily didn't respond.

Sturgis looked at the four others in the room: suddenly awkward with the awareness of all the underlying tensions and conflicts between his companions.

"Good luck Dorcas," he said, trying to sound encouraging, as he crawled in to a sleeping bag.

Sirius said nothing as he climbed into bed. He briefly linked eyes with Dorcas, whose expression was unreadable – as usual. Unwilling to deal with any of that anymore, he shook his head away from her glance and shut his eyes, welcoming sleep.

The men fell asleep quickly: Sirius and James out of emotional exhaustion and Sturgis out of habit. Dorcas and Lily remained silent; Dorcas growing gradually more uncomfortable under Lily's glare. When Sirius' snores became loud enough to signal he had entered deep sleep, Dorcas stood to go on a round through the house. Lily followed her into the long shadowy hallway.

"I hope you're proud of yourself," she whispered harshly to Dorcas' back. Dim light from the outside streetlights lit up half of Lily's face, giving her an ethereal glow.

Dorcas spun around; a frown tightening her face. "Lily," she spat. "Leave me alone. You don't know anything about it."

Lily scoffed loudly. "Sirius wasted so much time on you. I feel sorry for Gideon. How long are you going to string him along before you smash his heart too?"

"As if Sirius left me unscathed," Dorcas said through her teeth as she shook her hair out of her face. "Gideon is a completely different circumstance. I would never deliberately hurt him because he would never break my heart the way Sirius did."

"So you admit you meant to hurt Sirius?" Lily's flashing eyes were visible even in the semi-darkness of the room.

"No," Dorcas growled in frustration. "Fine," she threw up her hands. "I messed up, is that what you want to hear? I messed up. I shouldn't have gone to him that night."

"Well, you'd better keep away from him from now on," Lily said coldly. "I'm not going to let you break his heart again. It's already happened too many times."

Lily spun on her heel, stuck up her chin, and walked back into the living room. Dorcas watched her go; her breathing quickened. Her body tense, she rotated her wand between her fingers and turned to the other end of the house; determined to complete the job she had been sent to Surrey to do.


End file.
